Chapter 20
A nd I stayed away from him as much as possible, as he asked. It's been a week now since I've been staying as far away from Danylo as possible. We hardly ever cross paths, and if we do, I try to get out of his sight as soon as possible.
He's right. It's better for everyone.
"And then we brought each other to orgasm," Lily acts as if she hasn't just told the whole cafeteria, which is now at least sixty people strong, about her hottest sex ever.
"Hey."
Oh, I knew some asshole was listening in.
"Amelia, right?" he turns to me.
"Oh, yes," I answer in surprise.
"Timur," he holds out his hand to me.
I press my lips together. What do you want, Tim?
My friends sit with their mouths wide open and look at each other.
I swear I'm just as surprised.
"Are you free tonight?" Yes.
I mean, no.
"Busy," I shrug.
"And tomorrow?" He puts his two hands together.
He's wearing a plain white T-shirt and a leather jacket over it. His brown hair is cut short and matches his sharp cheekbones.
He's hot and he knows it. Guys like this only want one thing: sex.
I catch myself thinking that’s all I need, too. Without any commitment. Without any continuation. Just sex.
To forget about him . To put him out of my mind. To go on with my life as if he had never existed.
"Tomorrow will be great," I smile.
"Give me your number," he says, and I hand over my phone.
He enters the number, and I look at his hands.
Since when did I become interested in guys' hands?
Probably since I saw Tim's hands...
"See you," he stands up and winks at me.
"See you," I nod and turn to face the curious looks that are directed at me.
"I don't know," I blurt out before the girls can say anything.
And then three…two…one
And a scream. Yara, Adele, and Lily all merged in unison and started screaming like crazy.
"It's Timur," Lily smiles.
"And he asked you out," Yara adds.
"Do you know each other?" I am surprised. I've never seen girls hang out with him.
"Not really, but he seems to be a close friend of Danylo's," Adele says and takes a drink of her juice.
Something inside of me shrinks.
What if he did it on purpose? To, I don't know, hurt me?
But no. It can't be. Why would Danylo stoop to the level of a thirdgrader?
I begin to leave the state of euphoria and return to reality.
I'm going on a date. To sleep with a guy. A guy I'll never see again.
And who do I look like now? Yes, I really lack sex in my life, or rather, I don't have any at all, but that's no reason to sleep with the first guy who comes along. Even if he's hotter than the lava flowing out of a volcano.
A year ago, I tried to do something similar. I was an emotional wreck and on the verge of depression. I wanted to have some fun and went to a club. I was alone. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but a few shots and then kissing a stranger in the toilet was not the way out. The kisses went further and when his hand touched me there, I threw up. I mean, I really threw up. I threw up my entire lunch right on his shirt, and after that I try to avoid clubs.
On the one hand, I don't want to sleep with someone as much as I want to make sure that I'm still... normal. That I won't throw up on some guy when he tries to make me orgasm.
Almost three years have passed since Denys' death. During these three years, I was not with anyone. I haven't gone on a date, I haven't even kissed anyone. I know that I will always love only him, but I feel as if something inside me is broken.
Like I'm broken...
"Since when do you date?" Lily asks with a smile and moves closer.
Her blond hair is pulled back in a low ponytail today, and her green jacket emphasises her bright green eyes.
I can see why guys like her.
"This isn't a date, we're just going to hang out."
"And you're going to let him put his rod in your hole?"
"What?" I raise my eyebrows.
"You..."
"I understood what you said, please don't say it again," I stop Yara and we burst out laughing.
"Oh, my God, are you okay, baby?" Adele puts her hand to Yara's forehead.
I laugh again. They are so strange, but I love them so much.
"You're going to have to tell us everything, every fucking moment of your meeting," Lily turns to me.
I like her serious tone when it comes to relationships. Any relationship. Lily always speaks freely about these topics.
I mean, really freely. She told me everything in detail about her first time, and we had only known each other for a few days. She tells us about her boyfriend’s thing as if it were the most casual conversation in the world.
"Yes, I understand," I nod my head and put my hands in my pockets.
"Don't turn back," Yara says, opening her eyes wide.
Don't turn back? Who is asking for such a thing? After these words, it is impossible to sit still.
I turn my head anyway and regret it.
Danylo is in all his glory. His hair is disheveled, he wears a long black T-shirt, a black bomber jacket, and jeans. Does he know it's illegal to look this sexy?
Yes, he does. And he does it on purpose.
He should be given an Oscar for the way he plays his role as the "hot guy". He takes turns greeting his friends, among whom, I only now notice, is Timur.
Danylo leans over to him, and he whispers something in his ear. Exactly three seconds pass and Danylo's gaze is already directed towards me. The smile has disappeared from his face as if it had never been there, his eyebrows are furrowed, and his eyes are sliding down my body.
He turns away without even saying hello and continues to talk about something with Tim.
"He's so hot," Yara moans.
"I'll bet you a hundred that he has over eighteen," Lily nods her head.
I wish that at the moment she said that, I wasn’t drinking water and choked on it.
I wish I could get her words out of my head.
"But why," Lily laughs, "do they have the right to discuss us and we don't?"
The last thing I want to discuss right now is the size of Danylo Jr. My dear mother. Danylo Jr.
I need to focus on something else, like my date with Danylo's best friend tomorrow.