Chapter 37
I probably sent Danylo the thirtieth text message in the last few hours, but he still hasn't responded. Just like yesterday and two days ago.
"Still not answering?" my brother approaches me.
I came to the beach to watch the sunset. A light breeze blows, and the sky is covered with orange shades. Waves sometimes approach the shore, then push back, sometimes taking away jellyfish that have been washed out.
I would like the waves to take me away. My pain. My thoughts. My mental restlessness.
"No," I shake my head.
I rest my head on Sebastian's shoulder. I would like to know what he really thinks. He went through so much and never gave up. Maybe inside he is just as broken, just as powerless, but on the outside he is always confident, always determined, always calm.
I wish to have at least a little bit of his character.
I close my eyes trying to imagine another life. But I don't even know what kind of life I want to imagine. I always saw Denys in front of me, always imagined that he was next to me, but now?
Do I still want to see him in front of me?
My chest starts to burn... It burns so much because I know the answer for sure. I know the exact answer that will shatter me the second I say it. No.
For some reason, Denys's light hair has changed to dark, his blue eyes have become brown, and what comes out of his mouth is not sunshine , as he always called me, but darley , such a sweet and unusual nickname that belongs only to us. Only me and Danylo.
Now that there are two of us, everything is slowly disappearing, taking our pain with it. We hold hands and whisper words of love that we are not allowed to say. It was wrong from day one. We both knew it, but neither of us stopped. We were attracted like two magnets that cannot find where the energy is coming from. It was above us and was born long before our meeting.
We don't choose who to fall in love with. We are unable to control it, to resist, to pretend that nothing is happening.
Love once killed and revived me at the same time. It took away the whole universe from me and gave me a new life. A part of me died that day, slowly died while I read the letter, and continues to die every year when I visit his grave. Denys was my everything, we belonged to each other from the first seconds, but sometimes you are just not meant to be together. We were not destined to raise our children and face old age together. But I was destined to live on, love, feel, laugh, cry.
No matter how much that day destroyed me, I found a person who was able to heal me .