Chapter 38
A s soon as the plane lands, I'm the first to take off. Danylo did not respond to any of my text messages during the whole week.
Me : How are you? All right?
Me : Danylo, please answer.
Me : I'm worried.
Me : I will be in Kyiv in two days.
Me : I'm coming back to Kyiv tomorrow, can I see you?
No answer.
This vacation was one of the worst in my life. I thought about Danylo all the time. Sebastian tried to distract me, but I spent most of the time behind the closed door of my room.
"Don't worry, let's catch a taxi and go to him."
Of course, Sebastian flew with me. We exchanged our tickets for a flight to Kyiv, told my parents that I urgently need to go to the university, although studies won't start for more than a week, but I won't last another day without Danylo. I need to make sure he's okay.
I go back to his apartment again. But this time everything will be different. This time, there would be no smell of his wife's perfume in the kitchen and no coat hanging in the hallway.
"Do you think everything is fine with him?"
"Amelia, Danylo is not a little boy, he will handle it."
"He found out a week ago that his wife cheated on him, and his son is not even his. This is hard to deal with."
"Yes, you're right."
Thirty minutes later, we arrive. My body is shaking, my heart is pounding, and I almost pass out by the time I get to the right floor.
Sebastian is knocking on the door, and I don't know where to put my hands. They bother me like everything else.
No one opens the door, but the speakers fill the entire floor with music. I grab the handle and the door opens.
We go inside, and the unpleasant smell hits my face. A bunch of drunk students are dancing to music and doing who knows what.
I don't see any familiar faces yet, so I approach the most sober ones.
"I'm sorry, but where is Danylo?"
The blonde turns to me, her gaze doesn’t reflect anything. What did they do here?
"Probably in the room," she says, and returns to party.
Inside, everything turns upside down. I don't want to go into the room because I'm afraid of what I might see there. Something seems to tell me to leave the walls of this apartment, but I don't pay attention.
I've already lost my universe once, so I don't think I can do it again. I still dare and go forward. I’m slowly approaching certain death. I stop in front of the door and beg not to see something there that will break my heart.
And I don't see it. I see something worse. A picture that will stay in my head for a long time and slowly destroy me from the inside.
Danylo's hands slide along her back. She sits on him in all her glory. Their groans seem to drown out the music blaring mercilessly through the speakers.
I can't take a step. I can't bring myself to get out of here. I can't stop watching.
Danylo notices me. But he doesn’t stop. He looks at me with empty eyes, as if he doesn't even know who I am. In a few seconds, the room shrinks to unheard of dimensions and plunges into darkness, absorbing me along with it. It seems that I am no longer standing at the door, but hid somewhere far from here, covering my head with my hands. But I'm here. I'm still watching the guy who's on my mind kiss someone else.
I feel like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest as her name comes out of his mouth.
"Lily."
Yes. I should have recognised her wavy blonde hair immediately. I should have recognised my friend immediately.
And I recognised it.
But I didn't believe until the end.
I find my last strength and fly out of the apartment. I will never come back here again.
I will never come back into his life. I feel like in one second I was trampled and levelled with the ground. How I ended up somewhere at the bottom of the deep ocean, where I was attacked by sharks. How I burned alive in the house. I feel everything and nothing at once. It hurts.
But I am not hurt by his act, but by his look. He noticed me but didn't stop. He knew I was standing before him, but his eyes were filled with emptiness and darkness.
Lily. He was with Lily. And how long has it been going on? What have they been doing all this week? Is there something between them?
I'm going to throw up now. I can't fight it. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of Danylo and his roller coaster. I don't want to see him in my life.
If I could show people hell, I would just show them my life.