Chapter One
AMBER
No one knows what real love is until they’ve waited out numerous long, sleepless nights for months, an entire year of worrying about their man’s safety. They don’t know what real love is until all they’ve waited for and dreamed about is that first kiss after so long apart, and they’ve replayed every voicemail over and fucking over because they miss his voice so damn much.
No one knows what love is until they’ve waited by the window for the mailman to see if he finally wrote them a letter, and when they receive that letter, they experience that knee-buckling relief that consumes their entire soul because they now know that a week ago, he was still alive.
Alive .
With bated breath, I waited for him, hair freshly cut and styled, nails painted, legs shaved, and a new dress hugging my soft curves. As I stood in the terminal he was due to arrive at, my heart in my hand, I scanned the crowd for him. Any minute now, he would pop up. His flight had already landed.
I was desperate to finally see Ryan—to see my man—after so fucking long apart.
My eyes darted around crazily as I sought out his buzzed, brown hair and his military uniform amongst the sea of people. Standing on my tiptoes, I angrily snapped at people when they blocked my view. With each minute that passed, my fear spiked, and soon, it was lodged in my throat, and I could barely fucking breathe.
Where was he ?
Celine stood beside me, clasping my hand in hers as she whispered to Ace, “Do you see him? I can’t see anything!” she complained.
“Be patient, baby girl. He’s coming,” his quiet, steady voice reassured her, but it didn’t reassure me. I wouldn’t feel okay until I could see his face, until his arms were wrapped around me, holding me together again.
Where the fuck was he?
A large lump grew in my throat as the minutes continued to tick by with no sign of him. “Maybe I have the days mixed up?” I whispered, looking at Celine, tears brimming in my eyes. I couldn’t take this. I needed him to be here.
She shook her head at me, squeezing my hand. “He’s coming home today. He’ll be here. Just wait for him.”
Rain suddenly pounded down on the roof of the airport, and lightning and thunder struck the air, lighting up the sky outside. Looking up at the glass ceiling, I saw the rain hitting the glass, and a shiver crawled down my spine.
Oh, God, please don’t let this be a message .
I’m not ready to say goodbye to him. Don’t take him from me , I begged.
“There!” Ace’s loud voice boomed near my ear. My head snapped to where his finger was pointing, and finally, I saw him.
My handsome Ryan, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. His gaze was focused on the crowd ahead of him, his eyes scanning it, looking for us.
“Ryan! Here! Ryan, over here!” Celine had dropped my hand and was jumping up and down, waving her hands in the air to catch his attention. I was sort of frozen, unable to believe that I was truly looking at him—that he was really here —that our wait was finally over.
His head turned, and then his steady, unwavering gaze was locked on me.
On shaky legs, feet sore from the heels I strapped on my feet that morning, I took a step in his direction, my whole body trembling in anticipation. I’d waited an entire year for that moment, a whole twelve months, and it was finally here.
Celine’s small hand on my back steadied me. “He’s here, Ames. He’s home.”
Pushing past people, his tan combat boots hit the ground in a sprint, his big backpack jostling, the duffle in his arms bouncing with each step he took in my direction.
With adrenaline I didn’t know I had, I rushed forward, my heels hitting the tile with loud clicks as I raced toward him.
With a whoosh, I collided with his chest. His duffle dropped, forgotten on the ground, and Ryan’s big, strong arms wrapped tightly around my smaller frame. His smell engulfed me, and I sighed with relief right before hot tears began to slide down my cheeks.
Our wait was finally over.
My knees buckled, and we crumpled to the ground, completely tangled around each other in the middle of Miami International Airport. With a sob, I cried into his neck, and his hands began to run all over my body, like he was trying to memorize me all over again. He eventually slid one into my hair, and the other crushed me against his solid body. He could have broken every bone in my body, and I wouldn’t have cared as long as he still continued to hold me.
“I’m home, baby.” His lips pressed tenderly against my forehead before he pulled back. My blurry eyes settled on his face, desperately searching for the boy I fell in love with. Day-old stubble decorated his jaw, and a new scar sliced through the skin right above his eyebrow. Lines of stress lingered on his forehead and under his eyes, but the love shining in his blue eyes hadn’t changed, and it made my world collapse with relief.
“Are you gonna kiss me or not?” I asked bluntly.
His eyes swept over my face, memorizing every detail before they zoned in on my lips. Then, he slowly leaned in, his soft lips brushing against mine in a whisper of a kiss.
A moan escaped my lips before I could stop it, and his tongue slid along my bottom lip, seeking permission to deepen the kiss. I was ready. I was his for the taking. I’d been his since the moment we laid eyes on each other.
His lips slanted across mine, and our tongues tangled together in a dance as old as time. Then, with the vengeance of a starved man, he kissed me until I was breathless and soft pants escaped my swollen lips. My hands gripped his short, soft, buzzed hair, holding him close and dragging us together until I couldn’t tell where my body ended and his began.
He grinned against my lips, and I opened my eyes to see him already staring down at me. “We’ve got an audience, baby.” Pulling away from him, my senses finally returned to me, and I heard people cheering. Looking around, I saw a circle of strangers watching, women with tears in their eyes, men clapping, and I blushed, burrowing my face in his neck to hide from everyone’s stares. I felt rather than heard his laughter vibrate through my entire body that was pressed tightly against his.
“I don’t want this moment to end,” I whispered against his neck, placing a soft kiss on the exposed skin, enjoying his quiet groan in response.
“Come on. Let’s go home, so I can kiss you all night in privacy.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I threw my head back in laughter. I loved this man so damn much.
He stood first and mock-saluted the crowd, his eyes never leaving mine as pulled me up and held my body tightly against his. “Kiss me again… please,” I begged in a whisper, tracing the edge of his jaw with my nose. He groaned low in his throat, and he shifted his body to face me before his lips crashed down on mine with an urgency that rocked my entire world.
He kissed me without warning, simply because he couldn’t deny me. He needed my lips just as much as I needed his. I belonged to him, and he was claiming me again, making me his again after so damn long apart.
His lips and tongue invaded my senses as he dominated my mouth, fingers curling into my red hair, pulling me impossibly closer. “I need you.” His breathless voice washed over me, sending a wave of goosebumps across my flesh.
“I’m yours,” I panted in response.
His nose brushed against mine as we took in a breath of fresh air, eyes closed, savoring this moment together. His hand trailed down my back, his fingers tracing the curve of my spine as though he was reminding me just how much he has wanted me all these months.
“Don’t tease a desperate man, spitfire.” When I opened my eyes, he was already staring down at me, his pupils dilated, blue eyes darkening with lust as he stared back at me.
“I love you, Ryan.”
He grinned—the grin that I loved so damn much—and it made my heart swell with so much adoration for him that I could barely contain it. “I love you, my sweet girl.”
Our bubble of intimacy popped when Celine crashed into Ryan, jumping on his back, almost toppling all of us over onto the floor. He grunted in surprise, releasing me to grip the backs of her knees. “Ryan!” she shrieked, her arms wrapping around his neck. “I missed you.”
Ace and Ryan fist-bumped while I could only stare at him, suddenly completely speechless as the realization that my man had come home finally sets in. Ryan and Ace share a quiet conversation, a weird handshake, and then Ryan pockets whatever Ace gave him.
“What’s that?” I pointed at the bulge in Ryan’s pocket. His eyes widen, along with Ace’s.
“I’ll show you at home. It’s a surprise,” Ryan quickly answered.
“Come on, tell me?” I pleaded, giving him my best puppy dog eyes. He only smiled, his expression softening.
“At home. I promise, you’ll enjoy it more in the privacy of our home than here.” He winked, his eyes scanning my body, and my cheeks flushed. He had always been capable of turning me on with a single glance, and I loved that his ability to do so hadn’t changed or lessened in our time apart.
Ryan bent down to pick up his forgotten duffle and shouldered his green backpack before reaching out to me and grabbing my hand, when I hesitated, suddenly unsure. “I promise you that you’re going to love it.” His fingers curled around my hand, and that familiar feeling of safety and security wrapped around me again.
On the drive home in Ace’s new truck, Celine convinced me to go with her to pick up food for lunch, insisting that Ryan needed a chance to shower and unwind from his long flight. The thought of being separated so soon after finally being together again made my heart constrict and beat a little faster, but Ryan’s tight squeeze on our linked hands reassured me that he’d still be there at home when I got back. He wasn’t leaving again. He promised .
At the apartment building, we switched vehicles, taking my small, beat-up sedan I’d bought when I first moved to Florida seven years ago. The leather was worn but soft. The heated seats no longer worked and neither did the radio, so Celine and I sat in silence for the first few minutes.
“I was thinking we could grab burgers from the corner place.” She nodded at me, too busy typing away on her phone to listen. “Who are you so busy texting?” I finally demanded, irritated.
“Ace. Who else?” She laughed, putting her phone in her bag.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. Nothing had changed in seven years; they still texted all the time. It was like they couldn’t get enough of each other. I was happy for her, though. Celine had been through too much, had lost too much, to not deserve every ounce of happiness she could obtain.
“Do you know what he gave Ryan?” I asked her.
“Yes, but I’m not telling you,” she teased.
I scowled. “Should I be concerned?” I suddenly frowned, worried for Ryan. “Is it drugs for PTSD?”
“Oh, God, no!” she quickly assured me, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew Ryan wouldn’t be the same man I’d loved when he came back home, but I didn’t want him suffering. I never wanted that for him, and I’d lowkey been terrified he would be plagued with flashbacks and nightmares. “You’re going to love it, Ames! Now, let’s hurry so we can get home to our men.”
The morning rain showers had turned the roads slick and the air muggy, so when we stepped out of the cool car, we both groaned at the wall of humidity surrounding us. It was almost hard to breathe in.
“It’s so fucking humid. I think winter skipped us this year,” Celine mumbled as she opened the door of the small burger joint.
“It’s mid-April,” I reminded her. “It’s all those spring showers. When have we ever had a nice winter here?” I laughed as we joined the short line, glancing at the hanging menu, even though I already knew what I would order.
“I always forget that you aren’t a Florida native.” She sighed, looking down at her phone.
The line moved quickly, and we embraced the humid air once more after we got our food. Once we were back in the car, I rushed back home with the heavenly scent of burgers filling the small space.
Celine texted the whole way back, barely paying me any mind. I frowned. “Cece, what’s going on?” I asked, pulling into the garage.
“You’ll see. Oh, I am so excited!” she squealed, reaching in the back for the food, almost knocking the bag over in her haste.
Something was about to happen; I could feel it. With her unusual excitement and the secret exchange between Ace and Ryan, nerves began to bubble up in the pit of my stomach.
Expecting the worst, I pushed open the door to the lobby of the apartment building, fighting the urge to text Ryan as we took the elevator up. Celine was bouncing on the heels of her feet the whole way, a huge fucking grin breaking out on her face the higher we went.
What in the hell was going on?
“Stop looking so nervous. Smile,” she ordered. I huffed. “Your man is home, and he’s waiting for you just behind that door.” Celine pointed at my red front door, juggling the food in one hand and her phone in the other. “Open the door already. I’m starving!”
Pulling out my keys with shaking hands, I unlocked the door and let it swing open.
And there, in the middle of our small apartment, was my man, on one knee, surrounded by rose petals, and holding a bouquet of my favorite pink roses and a little black box with a beautiful ring inside.
“Holy fuck!” I shrieked.