Chapter Two
RYAN
Sweat gathered on the back of my neck as the lock on the front door twisted. It swung open, revealing the most beautiful woman in the world. Amber was standing there, her red hair tamed in a sexy updo that left some of it down for me to hold when I kissed her, the rest up and out of her alluring, green eyes. She was wrapped delectably in a red dress that ended right above her knees with sleeves that covered most of her arms. My favorite part was the slight dip in the neckline that gave the briefest hint at the cleavage hidden beneath. It was the perfect amount of teasing.
She stood there, jaw slack, green eyes wide, and all I could do was stare at the absolutely beautiful woman who I was about to ask to be mine for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t help but trail my eyes down her gorgeous body, taking in her long, freckled legs, her feet that were wrapped in tan heels that made her almost my height, and those fucking toes painted bright ass red. This woman knew exactly what I liked.
And I loved her in red.
“Holy fuck!” she suddenly shrieked, her hand reaching out for the wall to steady herself as she wobbled precariously on her too-tall heels.
“Come on in, baby.” I grinned at her. How could I not when I had been dreaming about this moment for the last damn year? I was dying for her to finally be mine in every way I could imagine claiming her. And I wasn’t wasting anymore time. We’d already lost enough.
Ace had been a lifesaver, along with Celine. They both helped me plan everything—from designing a custom ring to making sure the apartment was covered in her favorite flowers and also giving me time to prepare with a bullshit run to the store.
Amber stood near the door, her eyes brimming with tears as she stared at me, blinking crazily as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Ryan?” Her voice shook with tears and nerves, and warmth spread through my chest. This woman was so fucking perfect.
“From the day you tried to attack me to check on my sister, you have been the only one on my mind. You’re the reason I can breathe because your soul is pure and beautiful. You’re the stars in my sky on a dark night, and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. You, Amber, are the love of my life.”
As I paused to swallow the lump that suddenly formed in my throat, I watched her walk further into the room toward me. She sank to my level, her shaking hands latching onto me. Her green eyes met mine, captivated and hopeful.
No one had ever looked at me that way, so completely in love.
No one but Amber, my beautiful spitfire.
“I want to wake up with you beside me in the mornings. I need to spend my evenings looking at you across the dinner table after a long day at work. I need to share every boring detail of my day with you and hear every detail of yours because I love hearing your voice. I need to spend the rest of my life laughing with you, and most importantly, my beautiful girl, I need to spend the rest of my life falling more and more in love with you every single day.”
Putting the flowers on the ground beside me, I gently cupped her damp cheek in my hand. My thumb traced her cheekbone, and my eyes focused on her bottom lip as she worried it with her teeth.
Fuck, I needed to kiss her.
“Amber, my little spitfire, will you marry me and be mine forever?”
She nodded, her pretty green eyes blurring with tears. Her left hand fluttered up to her throat, while her other hand clasped mine. “Yes. Oh, God, yes!” she croaked, her voice constricted with tears and happiness.
Her arms flew around my neck as she propelled herself onto me. I laughed as we both crashed backward, our bodies wrapped tightly around each other, my lips searching for hers on instinct. Despite the chaos, I managed to find them and finally claim them as mine.
Kissing her was like coming home.
Ace and Celine cheered, both of them holding their phones to record the moment. I sat up, holding Amber to me, and found the forgotten, black, velvet box with her ring. She stared at the ring, her green eyes huge, her lips parted in shock.
“Baby, how did you know?” she whispered, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks as she continued to stare at the very expensive, very shiny diamond ring.
“A man in love can do just about anything for the woman of his dreams,” I responded as I slid the shining, eternity band ring onto her slender finger. This ring was a permanent symbol of my everlasting love for her—a small, unbroken chain of diamonds with one big diamond so that everyone knew she was mine and that she was loved.
And that she was off-limits.
“I love you. I love you so much,” she cried, dropping her face into the crook of my neck, her slender arms wrapping around me as she sobbed. Her body shuddered against mine. I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her to me.
“I love you more, baby,” I whispered as I gently rocked her side to side. This woman was fucking perfect, and she was finally going to be all mine.
“Oh, my God! You’re engaged! Congrats, guys!” Celine screamed, clinging to Ace, tears rolling down her cheeks. My sister could be extremely overdramatic, but I loved her, nonetheless.
Amber pulled away from me and glared at Celine. “You knew this whole time, you evil bitch!” I laughed as I ran my hands over Amber’s back, unable to stop touching her. I’d gone so long without feeling her against me. I needed this. “You could have warned me!” Celine blushed and laughed.
“I love you, too, sister-in-law.” Amber jumped up from my lap. Both girls squealed and embraced each other, and then, their attention was on the ring, gushing over it and whispering amongst themselves.
Ace appeared in front of me, blocking my view of Amber. He extended his hand to help me up from the floor. I took it with a nod of thanks, and he pulled me in for a one-armed hug. “Congrats, man. Clearly, she loves it.”
“Thank you for everything.”
Ace and I weren’t always this close. After he got stranded during Hurricane Dawson with Celine and they started falling for each other, I did and said shit to him that I should’ve never been forgiven for. It had taken years for us to work on our broken friendship. With time, all wounds healed, and when he came to me, asking to marry my little sister, I couldn’t say no to my best friend, especially when he made Celine the happiest I had ever seen her.
Through the years, we had become closer than friends—brothers more like it—and from the smile Celine shot me over Amber’s shoulder, she was proud of me. And that meant everything in the world to me, especially when I was responsible for so much of the suffering she’d endured.
“How about those burgers? I’m starving!” Everyone laughed as Celine held up the brown bag, and we all made ourselves comfortable around the small table in the kitchen. Amber’s ring glittered in the late afternoon sunlight, and it made me beam with pride. There would be no mistaking that ring anywhere she went.
Her smile was infectious, and the love in her eyes made me weak in the knees. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be calling this spitfire my wife. I had honestly imagined every single way that she could tell me no, and some nights, it had made me physically sick to think about her rejection. But I should’ve never doubted her. It was so clear she loved me as much as I loved her.
The afternoon flew by, and my parents even stopped by to surprise me and to congratulate us on our engagement. Eventually, they left with Ace, dragging a barely conscious Celine out. She and Amber had been drinking champagne all afternoon, and both women were a bit over tipsy.
As I locked the front door, the red-headed minx was swaying as she made her way over to me from the kitchen. She was well past tipsy and was entering into drunk territory.
“I’m so in love with you. Did you know that?” She giggled, wrapping her arms loosely around my neck, her eyes half-lidded.
I released a soft laugh, gripping her slender waist. “How about we go to bed? You look exhausted, baby.” I had longed for this night for what felt like forever, to finally be back in our bed together, with her soft body wrapped around mine.
God, did I ever, but she was drunk, and having sex with her while she wasn’t of sound mind was wrong, no matter how much we’d waited for this moment.
“Just to sleep?” she pouted. She was so adorable. I pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Don’t you want to celebrate the engagement?” Her eyebrows knit in confusion, green eyes quickly sobering.
“I just want to lay with you, to feel you in my arms when you fall asleep. To know that you’re safe and that I’m finally safe again. I don’t need to have sex to celebrate you becoming my fiancée,” I tried assuring her.
She frowned. “Was it bad over there?” Her eyes softened, her fingers curling into my short hair.
I sighed, refusing to let that shit bring me down. I was home now. I could move on with my life.
“I’d rather not talk about it. I just want to forget it.” I pressed my lips to her forehead for a long moment, letting my lips linger. She sank into my embrace. “I want to fall asleep and dream about our future. We have a wedding to plan now, you know?” Her frown deepened, but she nodded in understanding. It pained me to see her like that—worrying over me.
“When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here to listen,” she told me. I smiled at her. “Please don’t carry this burden by yourself. Promise me that you won’t,” she begged.
“I promise that when—no, if—I’m ready, you will be the only person that I’ll tell. I don’t want you to carry my burdens either,” I told her. I had a lot of shit I carried on my shoulders, and I didn’t want to taint her with it all. It was dark and horrific, and she didn’t need to know what I’d gone through and all the nightmarish shit I’d witnessed.
She let go of me and stepped back, hurt flashing in her eyes. Christ, how were we already fighting?
“You just proposed to me, Ryan, which means I’m yours. When we get married, it’s all or nothing. No secrets. You have to let me in. You can’t fucking shield me from your shit. I won’t let you.” She took another step back, crossing her arms over her chest. Fuck, she was so hot when she was mad at me.
But God, I was so damn tired. I was finally home, and I could finally sleep without having to keep an ear out, without worrying if I would wake up to some of my fellow battles dead. “Amber, please, not tonight,” I begged her. “I just want to go to bed with you. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for a year.”
“And you think I haven’t?” she snapped. Sighing, I scrubbed my hands down my face. “I’m the one who had to go to bed by myself for a year and long for you, waiting like some pathetic schoolgirl for a letter from you.”
I dropped my hands to my sides, frowning at her. “Then why are you fighting with me right now?” I demanded.
“I don’t fucking know, alright?” Her bottom lip wobbled, her eyes brimming with tears as she looked at the ground. My heart broke as I took her in, seeing what I’d done to the strong woman I had fallen in love with all those damn years ago.
I never should’ve left her. I definitely should’ve never re-upped.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to keep secrets. I just…” With a sigh, my defenses fell, and when she looked up at me with those green eyes illuminated by the light in the kitchen, shining with tears that I put there, I couldn’t find it in me to continue with what I was going to say. All I knew was that I wanted to wipe that tortured look from her face. “Come here, baby.” Opening my arms, I waited for her to walk into my embrace. When she didn’t and she only stood there staring at me, I rushed forward and wrapped her up in my arms. Her body suddenly trembled with sobs.
“Every…” she sucked in a deep breath, her voice shaking, “night…I…” her words were hard to understand through her harsh breaths, “dreamed you had…” a loud cry of anguish escaped her lips, piercing my heart. I tightened my arms around her, “died.” Burying her face in my chest, her sobs shook us both. I was lost, reeling, knowing I couldn’t fix this. I couldn’t fix the fear she’d been left with. Couldn’t erase it either.
I couldn’t take back the way I made her feel for all those months.
I couldn’t unbreak the strongest girl I knew.
I should let her go, let another man mend her broken heart, but she was mine . And I would be damned if I didn’t fight for us, fight for our forever.
I might not have been able to fix this, but I would be damned if I didn’t do my best to make our future as bright as fucking possible.