Jack
‘IT’LL BE YOU TURNING THIRTY next.’
Teresa says to me, smiling as though she has known me all my life and it’s funny to see me getting older. I would like to put my hand through her hair. Cinnamon-coloured, somehow cinnamon-scented.
‘It will, please god.’
Imagine, she’s right. I will be thirty. How little I have to show for it.
I meet her eyes, each an island universe, and I see that I don’t just want her carnally; I want the heart of her.
I want to start meeting her at the crossroads, taking her arm and bringing her into town.
To introduce her to Peggy. To start over again, with her.
Teresa would let me take her arm. She would let me take everything.
It’s always been a case of taking. But suddenly, I want to give.
‘Do you think you’ve the patience to put up with me, Teresa?’
I ask, taking a chance. She puts her hand around mine once more, taking the glass back and finishing the drink.
‘I think I have.’
She looks me right in the eyes, inviting me into her universes. I hope she is right.
I look around the room for Peggy. It’s time she met Teresa properly.
But where is she? I wonder if Teresa would take to her, the way that you took to her.
I remember the glow of fire on your face as you lit the fruitcake on Christmas Day.
Your careful steps towards the table, cutting a little piece for Peggy, and laughing as she ran outside to spit it out.
Another woman would have been embarrassed.
But you thought it was funny. You wouldn’t let Peggy feel embarrassed.
I need to know that Teresa would treat her with the same kindness.
The brandy in the fruitcake. The heat in the flame.
Peggy is the best in everything. And she needs a good woman in her life.