Hear My Heart

12. Nakyra

Chapter 12

Nakyra

I sat in the darkness of my kitchen, at the island in the center of the room, reading on my Kindle. Reading was something I did when I became overstimulated or went completely blank when it came to drawing. I brought the glass of hot apple cinnamon tea mixed with honey and two cinnamon sticks to my lips. The warm liquid felt good against my throat. The stress of everything going on, including still attempting to plan this wedding, was starting to take a toll on me. On some nights when I couldn’t sleep I often came downstairs, brewed a glass of tea, pulled my Kindle out, and got lost in a story.

The light flicked on, causing my eyes to squint. I lifted my head and spun around on the bar stool I was sitting on.

Creed stood in the entrance of the kitchen looking surprised. His mouth started moving but I wasn’t focused enough to understand what he was saying. Lifting my hands, I prompted him to hold on before turning back around to put my aids back in. After attaching them and turning them on, I turned to face Creed again.

“Okay, now I can hear you,” I announced.

“I didn’t know you were still up.” He stepped further into the kitchen then around to the fridge, opening it and grabbing a bottle of water.

“Yeah I couldn’t sleep. Rome’s a light sleeper so I’m used to coming down here and reading when my mind is overloaded.” Using the ponytail holder on my wrist, I pulled my braids into a ponytail then wrapped it into a bun, tucking the end hairs to secure it. “I guess I could have stayed upstairs this time.” My hands ran over my bare thighs.

I had on soft sleep shorts and an oversized sweater. It had been two days since Creed took me out to dinner and since I hadn’t seen much of him. Although it turned sort of awkward toward the end, the overall night was good.

“I’m glad you’re up. I wanted to talk to you.” He stepped closer to the island and leaned over it, resting his forearms on it.

“About what?”

He pushed his sleeves up and his grip tightened on the water bottle. He stared at me with a conflicted look in his eyes before an easy smile slowly split his face.

“You’ve been locked inside your room or office the past couple days so I haven’t laid eyes on you. I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” I asked in confusion, bunching my brows together.

He licked his lips then stood straight. “Oftentimes I get told I’m too blunt. In business it works out well, but outside of that people seem to take offense. While I meant everything I said the other night at dinner, I could have said it less like an asshole.” He stood up then stepped around the island, so he was now in front of me. “I’m not apologizing for what I said, but how I said it.”

I tucked the corner of my bottom lip into my mouth and nibbled on it. Hearing Creed critique my relationship had left me feeling some type of way. The sad part was I didn’t know if it was because there was truth in his words or because I felt he was out of line.

“It’s fine.” I waved him off eventually. “Summer tells me the same thing all the time. When you’re the minority, you can’t always expect people to include you. Just because he doesn’t learn ASL doesn’t mean Rome doesn’t love me. He does other things to show me.” I thumbed the diamond tennis bracelet Rome had gotten me for our last anniversary. He ended up having to work the day of and had gotten me this as an apology.

“So it doesn’t bother you that your fiancé doesn’t think it’s important to learn how to communicate with you in every way? If you ever lose your hearing completely and signing is your only way to speak, how will the two of you even manage?”

“Why are you so worried about it?” I cocked my head back and turned my mouth upside down.

He was quiet for a second. His jaw ticked and his eyes bored into me intensely. “Rome’s whole life has been spent being catered to. My parents raised him to believe the world revolved around him and everyone should bow down to him. You’re a good woman, Nakyra. I’m not just saying that, I can tell you really love my brother and you compromise a lot to fit into his world. I just hate seeing the same gestures not being reciprocated. And maybe I’m projecting because my parents treated me like an afterthought, and from what it seems, so did yours. So again, maybe I feel like I can understand how you grew up to an extent. You dealt with it in your childhood because you had to, as an adult there’s no need for you to. And minus all that, I don’t like seeing good women not being valued.”

“I guess…” I started quietly. My eyes dropped to the floor and I fumbled with my hands. “I guess since I grew up having to communicate with hearing people, I became adjusted to it all. The whole reason I got my aids was to be able to use my voice when needed. If I learned anything growing up how I did, it was that life isn’t fair and no one is obligated to cater to your needs just because you may be different from them. The world keeps spinning and isn’t going to stop because of one person. Without my hearing aids I can’t hear what someone’s saying. I can still read lips, I can use my hands, I’m good at picking up body language. I’ve learned to adapt to my situation and I do a good job with it.”

He didn’t look like he was completely happy with my words but he didn’t fight them. “I hear you and I’m not here to tell you how to handle your relationship. I’m just gonna ask if the shoe was on the other foot, would you learn?”

I stayed quiet because we both knew I would. “Since you feel this strongly, tell me why you’re single. You seem like a passionate guy, why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“Who says I don’t?” His head cocked to the side.

I blinked once then twice. “I assumed since you didn’t come here with a woman and haven’t mentioned anyone, you don’t.”

He smirked. “Me and my ex broke up a few months ago. We were together for two years, but in the end our differences were too much for us to keep ignoring. In the end we both agreed we weren’t meant to be and went our separate ways.”

I was quiet for a second, biting the inside of my cheek. “Did you love her?”

He nodded. “I did, I still do, but by the end of the relationship I realized I wasn’t in love with her anymore.”

I was curious what difference the couple could have had that caused a breakup. Creed seemed like a compromising guy so for whatever it was to be the breaking point must have been big.

“How do you say I’m sorry?” he questioned suddenly.

I lifted my head to stare him in the eye before lifting my hand and showing him the gesture.

“ I am sorry, ” he signed. “I’m not trying to hurt you.” He paused for a second and I realized he wanted me to sign it.

“I am not trying to hurt you.” I spoke and signed while swallowing hard.

Creed repeated the gesture.

“I just don’t want you to accept less because it’s what you’re used to.”

My hands froze and I bit into the corner of my bottom lip. “I just do not want you to accept less, because it is what you are used to.”

My hands dropped to my sides as my chest tightened while my heart swelled inside me. My hands balled into fist. My stomach did backflips. The sincerity beaming from his eyes made my nerves buzz and my body flood with heat.

“I’m gonna call it a night.” He cocked his head to the side and waited.

Slowly, I lifted my hands. “ I am going to call it a night. ”

He mimicked the motions then reached over to grab his water bottle before patting my shoulder and leaving the kitchen.

The moment I was alone, I pushed out a deep breath. It should be easy for me to brush off Creed’s words. Summer had made the same points for the most part before but I always just chalked it up to her not liking Rome. Creed didn’t know anything about our relationship. He had only been here a month and half, he didn’t know anything about us outside of the small things he’d learned on the outside looking in. So why did his words make it feel like I needed to rub out heartburn? I loved who I was. I was confident in myself so I didn’t need anyone to adapt to me. But what was this feeling I was experiencing?

Twisting around, I grabbed my mug and stared down at my tea before downing it. Suddenly the restlessness I had been feeling was gone and I was tired.

Grabbing my Kindle I stood and went to the sink to put my mug inside before leaving the kitchen, turning the light off behind me.

Bella popped up from her bed and trailed me up the stairs. When I passed Creed’s door, I paused. I could hear him moving around inside. I thought about him getting ready for bed and displaying his hard, cut chest. I gasped and widened my eyes. What the hell. Quickly, I hurried to my room, breathing heavily with a tight chest.

“Bed, Bella,” I said, closing the door behind me and walking to my bed. Turning my aids off, I removed them and set them next to me on my nightstand. Climbing into bed, I set my Kindle down next to my aids then turned on my side and got lost in thought.

I didn’t want things between me and Creed to get weird. I was enjoying his company and him being around. The last thing I wanted was that to change.

____

After the talk with Creed last night, I decided to try my luck at the hospital. It had been a week since I was kicked out, and outside of what Creed told me when he visited, I knew nothing. It wasn’t fair that I was being kept away from Rome and his parents were punishing me for something I had no control over.

Stepping off the elevator, I pushed a few braids from in front of my face and looked around. To get into the room where Rome was, I had to be paged back. I wasn’t sure if they would allow me but I was going to try.

I walked to the double doors and pressed the button to the intercom. I waited for the nurse on the other end to respond.

“How can I help you?” the nurse asked.

“I’m here to see Rome Thornton,” I responded.

There was a brief pause. “Your name?”

“Nakyra Moon.” I chewed the inside of my cheek and waited again. I wasn’t sure if the ban was lifted or not, but hopefully the Thorntons would allow me back.

I looked around the empty room and shifted on my feet while adjusting the straps of my tote bag on my shoulder.

When the door buzzer sounded, my spirits lifted and I stood straight until they opened and Marisol stepped through them. She stared at me like I was gum on the bottom of her shoe.

“What are you doing here, Nakyra?” she questioned, pressing her lips together tightly.

“To see Rome.”

Her lips pressed tighter and she tucked them inside her mouth. Her eyes ran from the top of my head down to my feet.

“I thought we had an understanding. Right now isn’t the right time for my son to have visitors. He’s slowly getting better and we don’t need any outside germs causing him a setback.”

My tongue dragged across my top teeth and again I adjusted the straps on my purse. “I have just as much right to be here as you two. I’m not sick, and if it’s that serious I’ll wear a mask, but telling me I can’t be by my fiancé’s side while he’s in a coma makes no sense to me.”

A taunting smirk twisted her lips suddenly and she folded her hands in front of her. “The choices I make for my son do not have to make sense to you . At the end of the day I’m his mother and I know what’s best for him. Now if you’ll excuse me, I was waiting on the doctor to come and speak with me. You enjoy the rest of your day.”

She turned her back to me. “Marisol!” I called out, prompting her to pause. “If you don’t let me back there, then don’t expect to be welcomed at my wedding.”

Slowly, she turned and looked at me with amusement before releasing a sinister laugh. “Your wedding. You mean the same wedding my son is footing the bill for? That wedding? Oh darling, I promise this isn’t the game you want to play. I allowed my son to marry you even though I know he can do better.” She gave me an up and down look. “But if you want there to be a wedding, I advise you to stay in your lane and just continue looking pretty by my son’s side.” Spinning around, she hit the button then waited to be let back in.

I stood there motionless with my lips slightly parted. My blood boiled and my hands curled into tight fists. I bit down on my back molars as my heart pounded viciously inside of me. I always knew Marisol felt like I wasn’t good enough for Rome, but for her to admit it was a gut punch. Part of me wanted to cause a scene but if I did I knew it would only give her more leverage to keep me away. The Thorntons’ influence and money allowed them certain things I couldn’t get around.

Spinning on my heels, I stormed away, hastily pressing the button to call the elevator. My foot tapped impatiently as I waited. Fire rumbled in my belly. This was the final straw for me, the moment Rome opened his eyes and was back to feeling like himself, we would have a long talk about his mother and her lack of respect for me.

____

Pulling the door handle, I stepped into Sugar Bliss, instantly feeling calm as the smell of sugar hit my nose. I stepped closer to the counter where Summer was restocking one of the cases. SZA played overhead. The place was clear of any other customers.

“Summer,” I called out, gaining her attention.

She popped her head up and grinned. “Hey, cousin!” It didn’t take long for her smile to dwindle and concern to fill her face.

“What happened?”

I took a deep breath and stepped closer to the counter before my hands started flying. “Wait, wait!” she finally said when my hands moved faster the more I spoke.

Again I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, mentally counting to ten. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this angry. Popping my eyes open, I lifted my hands and started signing again, this time a little slower, but still quickly.

“ Can you believe she said that! ” I signed and spoke this time.

“First off, take this.” She slid a cupcake my way which I happily took and bit into instantly. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the lemon treat filled my taste buds. “Second, fuck that old hag! How dare she talk down on you like you’re not shit. Her son is lucky as fuck to have you at his side.”

One corner of my mouth lifted as I swiped frosting from my lip with my thumb. “I know that. I deal with a lot of shit from Rome, but I also know I’m a catch. I just don’t get how she could talk to me like that. I’ve been nothing but nice and respectful to that lady.”

“She’s a bitter bitch.” Summer shrugged, rolling her eyes. “You know how these Black mamas are with their sons too. They be wanting them to be their man. It’s weird.” She shivered.

I choked out a laugh. “It’s not just Marisol though, Deacon’s like that too. I get that Rome is under a lot of pressure to take over the company or whatever, but as his future wife they should respect me enough to take my feelings into consideration.” I finished the cupcake and crumbled the wrapper. “Sometimes I wish it was them who got into the accident and not Rome.”

“Listen to me, Nakyra. You have been through so much shit in your life and you’ve overcome it all. You are not a hateful person; so don’t let those people turn you into one. They’re snobs and don’t know any better. Fuck them! When Rome wakes up and sees how they treated you, he’ll set them straight. Until then, just continue keeping your head up and don’t let them get to you.”

A half smile formed on my face. “Thanks.” I knew how Summer felt about Rome, so for her to say that meant a lot.

“You know I got you! I don’t play about you either and I don’t mind beating an old bitch up.” I couldn’t stop the laugh from leaving my mouth.

“Where’s your boss?” I looked around. “You the only one here?”

“Yayomi? She’s at the other location downtown today.” Sugar Bliss had two locations, one downtown and one in Ridge Valley, close to the hospital Rome was in, then she had a mobile cart that was usually on The Shore. “There’s a baker in the back and the other girl working isn’t here yet.”

I nodded and looked around the blue and white decorated building. “This place always calms me down.”

“That’s because you have a mean sweet tooth.”

I snickered and rubbed my right ear.

“You good?” Concern filled Summer’s face.

“Yeah, you know when I get upset and worked up it makes my head hurt then my ears start bothering me. I’m fine.” I waved her off.

She squinted at me. “I’m good. I need to get going though. Box me up a few things.” I looked at the cases, naming off what I wanted before going into my tote for my wallet.

“Are you good now?”

“Yeah, I just needed to vent real quick.” I handed her the cash and waved off the change when she tried to give it back.

I grabbed the light blue box. “I forgot to mention, I met someone through Creed. She’s cool and kind of reminds me of you. I think I’m going to do a girls’ night so I need you to play nice.”

Summer smacked her lips. “I’m always nice.”

“I’m serious, Summer! You know I don’t have any female friends and I like this girl. I don’t want you two beefing or anything.”

“If she’s as cool as you say, then there won’t be any beef.” She smirked and batted her lashes.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, I’ll let you know the details. Love you.”

“Love you too, boo! Stay away from that old hag too! Where’s that other fine ass son of hers? Maybe he can talk some sense into her.”

“Bye, Summer.” I laughed, stepping to the door just as a couple came walking in.

I knew talking to Summer would help the frustration I was feeling. I didn’t like being angry or holding grudges. It was pointless and wasted too much energy. Marisol, however, made it hard not to be mad at her. I hadn’t made up my mind if I wanted to mention what happened between me and his mom to Creed. He didn’t get along with his parents, I knew that, but I didn’t want him to be in the middle of our issues. Plus, it had nothing to do with him. It would be best if I stayed quiet and waited for Rome to wake up so he could address the situation properly.