7. Long Gone
Long Gone
Amity
F our hours later we made it to the new pasture, where the cattle will be spending the next week, until we do it all over again next Sunday. Then we keep them at the ranch for three weeks for vaccinations and checkups. Now, I have sixty less heads to worry about on the way back to the ranch. Though, we are taking a break for lunch and rest
“Tilly, what was so damn funny?” Willa asks
“What are you talking about?” She looks back at me, causing me to laugh.
“Damn you two. Y'all went on your own channel to chat. I figured, every time a loud laugh would blow through the wind toward me.”
“Tilly! Stay off the radio!” Dirks yells over to her.
“OOH, someone is getting a spanking from her boyfriend later.”
“Oh my Hades, gross, Amity. They are not together.” All I can do is laugh, while Tilly slams her mouth shut and glares at me.
“So, what or who were you two gossiping about?”
“Mostly Nash, because I thought he was goin’ to fall off at one point tryin’ to keep up with you. But then we talked about Blake,” I say.
“Please enlighten me.”
“The usual, but usual with admiration for both their asses in jeans. Blake looks like a damn model that just stepped out a Stetson magazine. How can that piece of meat not be pinned over? Look, even the old ladies are checking both of them out.” The girls giggle at the sight.
“Nash can’t be wearing his Wranglers in public anymore. Literally a woman at Albertsons ran smack into the snack display, toppling the whole thing over, because she couldn't stop drooling and staring at him. It was embarrassing.” We laugh so loud, drawing all the attention to us. “The Holdings are a fine-looking bunch. Even the older one, Clint. I’m surprised he hasn’t been snatched up yet.”
“He loves his work too much. Nash is the same way, but we have set limits when it comes to him working all the time. But Clint, he has no care about taking a night off, to go on a vacation or relax. But I have heard rumors of him going to secret sex clubs and is a fierce predator in the bedroom.”
Tilly and I look at her stunned. I think through the ones I’ve been to and don’t recall him. Then decide to not embed that in my head for the time being. “Hmmmm, good way not to get hurt either. Devote your life to something that will not fail you,” I say.
“What's the fun in that though?” Tilly asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “I can have enough fun on my own.”
“That is one thing we know for sure, honey,” Willa states while laying out our blanket to sit on. Reeling in how great sitting down on solid ground feels for a few minutes, I look over at Willa and Tilly laughing over something, and behind them, the guests fade into the cattle that fade into the trees. Off to our left the young and old cowboys mingle and talk about life.
“Hey, Wil. How did you feel when Nash pulled a file on you?” She gawks at me, like I have two heads.
“Amity, are you trying to tell me something? Because though I tell you everything, I don’t think that has ever been brought up, due to Nash asking me to keep quiet on it.”
Taking a deep breath, I let it out. “You were right, what Nash was keeping from you was about me. Blake was going to propose, until they dug up my past.” Both her and Tilly turn ghost white.
“Wait, you telling me he was going to propose until he found out about him? Or was he going to propose until he read your file and about him?” Tilly asks in her own way.
“I think both,” I nod, pinching my eyebrows together. “He said he freaked out and didn't want to ruin our last night together, panicked and left. But yes, I think he was goin’ to propose until he found out about him.”
“That son of a bitch. I’m going to taser Nash and kill Blake.”
“Calm down, girl,” I murmur, patting Willa on the shoulder. “It is what it is at this point. Blake found out, freaked the fuck out, and left. Just like any rational man would do, right?”
“I wouldn’t say rational,” Willa chimes in.
“Or reasonable,” both girls say.
Willa chunks an orange at Nash and nails him right in the head, causing their circle to turn around and gawk at us. Willa motions her finger to come over with the look of “alone” written on her face.
“Pineapples, Willa, don’t confront him here,” I admonish, gritting my teeth. Only for her to roll her eyes at me.
As soon as he steps into our circle, she goes in for the kill. “I swear by Persephone and Demeter, Nash, I will taser you in the ball sac if you lie to me.” The look of worry trickles down his face. “You pulled a file on Amity and didn’t tell me or have Blake ask her. There are secrets Amity has tried to hide from, and then Blake finds out on a whim with no one questioning anything? Just disappearing to South America! And you don’t say a damn word to me about it? I have half a mind to drag you to the middle of the pasture and cause a stampede over you right now!”
“Jesus, Willa.” Putting his hands up, he calls defeat. “Look, yes, that all happened. You know damn well I couldn’t tell you at the time, and honestly, I didn’t think it would be drawn out for so long. Hindsight, bad call on my part.”
“You think?” we all say in unison.
“I’m sorry, Amity, really, I am. I have my own questions and concerns, but I know Blake loves you. I demanded he not propose to you before we had answers. Not because we do not love you, but I have to protect the company and family name. Need to know of enemies. The last thing I wanted was this to feel like a personal attack on you. Unfortunately, I see now that is exactly what has happened. I truly am sorry.”
I step in to give him a hug. “Thank you for owning your shit, Nash. And I am happy to discuss the things you read in the file.”
“You don’t owe me that, Amity. I do hope you talk to Blake though. Even with the findings, he still wanted to propose. His feelings or wanting to be with you never faltered once. Please know that.”
“Thanks. Um, I’ll think about it.” We hear Dirks' loud whistle, knowing the time has come to head back to the ranch. We split off to our horses, and feeling overwhelmed with new emotion and information, I strive to get back as quickly as I can.
* * *
Once Nevada is released into the pasture, I holler at the girls that I’m leaving.
“Amity, wait. Can we go talk somewhere?” Blake asks over filling the water troughs.
“Can’t. I have a date with Jack tonight.”
“Jack who?”
“You know damn well what Jack I’m talkin’ about!” I turn to leave, getting in my truck before he thinks about following me. Blake’s face comes into my rearview as I drive off. Not tonight, Cowboy. I don’t even care to stop by my apartment to change tonight. I got an extra flannel top in my truck that I pull over my pink tank top and leave open. Throwing my hair in a low twisted tail so out of my face, I put my poker face on as I walk into Dan’s Bar ready to drink my sorrows away.
Jack keeps me company for about six rounds until someone offers me Jose, and now, I have a new best friend. “Ha! There is a reason why tequila and I don’t get along,” I say to the guy who offered the shot. “I guess this bar is going to find out why tonight!” Throwing back another shot. His hand slides up my inner thigh as if he’s thinking that’s the direction I'm heading in. “I’m going to need you to remove your hand from my body.”
“Come on girl, we're just all trying to have a good time.” Grabbing his hand then wrenching his wrist backwards until I see the water swell up in his eyes, I snap, “I warned you once. Don’t make me full on kick your ass next time.” Letting go of his hand, he pulls it back to hold it against his body in pain. I turn back around to my favorite bartender Dan himself. With a smile only a devil can deem good.
“Don’t give me no problems tonight, Amity!”
“Who? Little ol’ me? The night is just getting started, Dan.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he mutters and walks off, continuing to wipe down the bar and serve a customer down-ways.
At some point, my hair has made it into a messy bun on top of my head, and I am pouring sweat from all the dancing. I know I’ve been on stage and sung at least a dozen songs tonight, but all seems like a blur. But damn does this cold bathroom tile feel amazing against my skin.
* * *
Blake
It’s one in the morning when I shoot out of bed due to heavy banging on my front door. Peeking through the hole, I notice it’s Willa, Tilly, Lana, and Nash. “What is this, some kind of intervention? It’s damn one o’clock in the morning,” I groan, opening the door.
“Not so much an intervention for you. Possibly Amity. We need to go, like now,” Tilly speaks up. A coldness rushes over me while panic takes over.
“Is she alright? What the Hell’s going on?”
Willa steps in. “I will explain everything in the car. Right now, we need to get in the car and get to her ASAP.” I quickly shove on a pair of jeans, a hoodie, and grab my boots from earlier, and fly out the door behind them.
Once in the car I look at the four of them. “Start explaining now!”
“So, Amity went to Dan’s Bar tonight and had a really good time with Jack and Jose.”
“You mean the fucking drinks, not men, right?” Tilly giggles, nodding her head yes, like I asked a dumb question. I’m thinking we are talking about Amity; this conversation could go either way.
“Y’all told me she’s not supposed to drink that shit, and she’s good about not drinking that shit.”
“Yeah. But she’s pretty unpredictable these days. Dan stated she was offered a shot of tequila, and it went downhill from there. Um, then she hurt the guy's hand that offered her the shot because I guess he touched her.” Fury ramps up the heat in my body. Because how dare anybody touch my girl. “Then she got in a fight with another dude and broke his nose. She did a lot of dancing with everyone. She apparently has been partying like a rockstar on stage singing tonight. Broke a barstool on the bar itself to fight like a pirate against a group of guys that were trying to, as she put it to Dan, “manhandle” her. Then Dan said they were just trying to capture her, to tie her up to not cause any more mischief for the night until we got there.”
“So, what you’re telling me is tequila makes her crazy and angry, and she’s had plenty of it tonight.”
“Yep, that about sums it up.” I am first going to murder them for trying to touch her, and then I might kill her myself for acting like such a damn fool. Nash is driving like a madman and gets us there in under fifteen minutes from my apartment. All the while, I don’t know if I need to pump myself up for what I’m about to walk into or calm my shit before I piss her off even more.
Once we walk into the bar, Dan waves us over. “She is currently in the bathroom. Cassidy went in there to check on her and found her vomiting. Which, hell, probably is the best for her at this point,” he says. I had walked in ready to ravage several men that touched my girl tonight, but once I got a glimpse of the scene of a broken barstool, the dude nursing his nose, and another with a swollen black eye, all I can do is laugh and think my girl did that . She is a fucking force to be reckoned with sober or drunk.
So I subtly walk over to them, shake their hands, and say, “I’m not even going to kick your ass because you’ve partly already had one handed to you tonight, but on the other hand, don’t fucking put your hands on her again because if she didn’t teach you a lesson, I sure as hell will the next go round.” They nod and turn to leave.
Sliding my black card over to Dan, I tell him, “Please put her tab and whatever damage she’s done tonight on this.”
“Thanks man.”
Turning back to the gang, I laugh. “She is the craziest ass woman I have ever met.” I get a glare from Willa, Lana, and Tilly. “Y’all know damn well what crazy I’m talking about. Who else do you know will beat up a bunch of bar guys and break a barstool because she’s drinking tequila. And the sad thing is I don’t think she needed the tequila to even accomplish that!” They all try to suppress their laughs, because I think we could all be pissed to tears at this point over the truth.
I then follow the ladies into the women’s bathroom to see two legs sticking out of the stall with the door open. I try hard not to laugh my ass off because she is sitting up against the toilet, hair on top of her head. A complete disoriented mess, but just as beautiful and adorable. The girls speak softly to her, so she knows who is with her, and then I help lift her off the ground.
“Oh my favorite people,” Amity squeals. “Except for you,” she grumbles, looking directly at me, then pointing her middle finger at me. “You’re not my favorite people anymore.”
“Come on, Amity. We will deal with you and me later. Let’s just get you home,” I say as calmly as I can.
“No. I’m not goin’ anywhere with you. I just spent the last hour throwin’ your name across the bathroom floor. This is your fault.”
Being the gentleman I am, I allow what she says to slide. “I take full responsibility. Only if you admit you were wrong to hang out with Jose Cuervo tonight.”
She gives me a wink. “At least he wasn’t scared to commit and promised to give me exactly what I expected.”
“Ah fuck!” I run my hand through my hair and back down my face in anguish.
Tilly whispers, “We have her, go.” Knowing this is not the time or place to have it out with her, I walk out the door and over to the bar to grab my card and sign the bill.
“Twenty-six hundred dollars?!? Who the hell racks up a tab like that at the bar?” I shout.
“That would be Amity. I’m only charging you three hundred for the bar stool and gap she left in my bar. She did buy several rounds of shots for the dance floor and band.” Shaking my head in disbelief, I squiggle my name on the bill. This woman is going to be the damn death of me. Turning back around to say something to Nash, I see Amity sitting in the middle of the empty dance floor, crisscrossed with her face in palms. Lana tries to get her to drink some water while Willa tries to calm her down.
I walk over and bend down to be face-to-face, lifting her chin up to face me. She looks up at me with those cold ice dagger eyes, and it’s like I fall in love all over again.
“Hey, princess, why don’t we get you home.”
Through tears and heavy sobbing, she cries, “I am so sorry, Blake. For everything and anything I did to make you feel like it was best to walk away. I hate my past, but I can’t change it.”
“Let’s talk about this tomorrow after you have some sleep, I’m not going anywhere.” She nods as I pull her up to stand with me. “Maybe you’ll remember this in the morning, maybe not, but I love you, Amity Jean, regardless of your past or the present by being victimized by a bar's bathroom floor.” The gang laughs at my attempt for a subtle joke.
Looking over at Willa, I ask, “Please tell me we have towels or blankets to wrap around her before we get in the car?”
The four of them laugh again, because my Germaphobia of public restrooms is a joke to them. But I'm cringing on the inside, making a mental note to put Amity in the shower as soon as we reach my apartment.
Nash is slightly calmer driving back to my apartment now that we have Amity with us and safe. She has fallen asleep on my shoulder, but not before she whispered how much she has missed me since I left. How much she loves me. But also, how much she hates me right now. I completely understand, as I pulled her into my world and had her give me her heart that I shattered. How do we get back from here?
The crew helps me get her up to the apartment, and the girls decide to go help her in the shower while Nash and I have a talk. “Anything happen today that might’ve triggered her ‘don’t give a damn’ attitude?” he asks.
Deep breath in, I blow it out slowly, puffing out my cheeks. “I told her about the file, then that I was going to ask her to marry me, but then chickened out and left because I’m a selfish prick.” Nash slips his drink slowly with his gaze down.
“Just say it, bro. I am a fuck up and ruined whatever business we have going on in Brazil on top of ruining whatever chance I had with Amity.”
“No. Not what I was going to say. Business is fine and will be fine until you get back down there. Which needs to be this week. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to you after the cattle drive, but I knew you said something to Amity because I was ambushed by three of the Golden Girls.” I see a glint of fear still lingering in his eyes. “As far as Amity goes, at least you got the hardest part out of the way which was confessing. Now prove to her that she is enough for you and herself. We did some more digging. The guy behind all this lives down in El Paso, living on family money and laundered money. He apparently is still well known, with lots of connections and has quite a few assets. Something to consider if she really needs the next step to move forward. Or you can do absolutely nothing with this bit of information. Just thought you should have it.”
“Thanks, brother!” We clink our glasses together, and Nash toasts to love. I’m just hoping I still have my girl after all of this.
The ladies come out to the kitchen, letting me know Amity is all cleaned up, hair dried, and tucked in bed. I thank them, then walk them to the door. Once we say goodbyes and I shut the door, I pad back to my bathroom for a quick shower. Once out, I head to the bedroom where the nightstand’s lamp is still on, putting the perfect cast of light over Amity’s features. Standing over her, I’m unsure what to say or do next. Something that used to be so easy when it came to us being together, now has all my caution bells ringing because I’m unsure of how she will react if I get too close or stay too far away.
As she was reading my mind, I see her eyes flutter open, then she pulls the covers back. “Come to bed, babe. Tomorrow’s another day.” I crawl into bed and hold her, having the best sleep I’ve had since I left.