Chapter 3 #3
“No shit… nothing wrong with it through.”
Havoc removed his locs from his face, stood up and stretched. “Her little ass scares the shit out of me.”
“I feel you.”
I couldn’t even front like Zoya didn’t fucking scare the shit out of me. She was so independent, hardened, and that was because she had to be. My baby had been robbed of affection. Her walls were taller than prison walls.
Zoya was everything I should have avoided, but I was drawn to her like a bee to pollen, a moth to a flame, a fuck to you mean. As much as she tried to play like she wasn’t into me, I knew better.
I was fucking Goon.
Every woman wanted me, and only a select few had the pleasure of ever experiencing me. I could have whatever woman I wanted, and I wanted Zoya Caselli. The woman I knew would give me a run for my money, but that was because she was afraid.
Afraid to allow love in, let her walls down, because every person she had let those walls down for took advantage.
They made her look like a fool, and she didn’t take too light to that.
I didn’t just watch Zoya, I studied her.
I learned who she was and what she required, even though she had never told me out her mouth.
If you watched someone long enough, you learned the things they never told people.
I needed to understand her if I was going to make her my wife.
My baby was tough because she had no other choice but to be.
Each encounter, every conversation, I could see her wanting to put down those walls, allow someone else to take control.
I was ready to put Zoya in her healed girl era.
I wanted her biggest concern to be that the cost of beef bacon had risen.
I had to earn her trust because trust wasn’t easily given out when it came to the Casellis.
I had to show her that I was different from the other fuck heads she fucked with in the past. Being truthful, that was the reason Zoya ran from me.
She knew I wasn’t like those other niggas, and that scared the shit out of her.
“Queen coming onto the block,” I heard Kincaid yell, as he turned onto the block with Queen’s red G wagon riding behind him.
As if he knew his queen was near, Quasim came out the barbershop. Blair parked in the spot that had been carved out for her and killed the engine. The tints on her truck were so dark that you couldn’t see inside of it. The kids had gone off to the next thing, so me and Havoc left the tent.
Quasim swaggered across the street and opened the door as Blair stepped out. It was crazy because it was this time last year when Tookie came riding through the block, and I had been reduced to hearing about it while sitting in prison.
Blair wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her lips a few times. Havoc bypassed both they asses and opened the back door. He smiled, as he signed something to who I assumed was Izayah.
“You consistent, huh?” Quasim said.
He unbuckled her and took her out the back. Zayah was only a few months old, so she didn’t know shit that Havoc was talking about right now. “Hi, Blessing… you missed Goddy?”
“Goddy?” I snorted.
“I’m her God daddy, nigga… we unique over here. Worry about yours.” Havoc took Izayah, and neither Sim nor Blair said anything.
She looked like a little baby doll in his arms. He cradled her and kissed her forehead, as she looked around.
The passenger door opened, and Capri stepped out with her phone to her ear. “I return to work next week, so we can set something up and talk then… uh huh. Thank you, Director Robinson.”
I walked around the car and helped her open the door. Cherry was ready to jump out the damn seat when she saw me. Capri laughed, backing away so I could unstrap her. Soon as she had that little prison strap off her, she leaped into my arms.
“Goo, Goo!” She slapped both her hands on my cheeks and smushed her face toward mine.
My God daughter meant the entire world to me. Capri and Meer didn’t have to make me her God father, but they trusted me.
Me.
A nigga that had a rap sheet as thick as the bible. A man that didn’t believe in himself until his freedom was taken from him.
They trusted me to guide this little soul and protect her. It was a job that I didn’t take lightly. I moved differently, because I never wanted Cherry to have to visit me in prison. I never wanted her to see me in those greens; while trying to understand why I couldn’t leave with her.
“Hi, Cherry mama.” I kissed her cheeks.
I tossed her up in the air while she giggled. Whenever babies giggled, the shit was contagious. While she was having the time of her life with me tossing her up, Capri was watching in horror.
“Everything good, Lady Inferno?” I teased.
“You give me a mini heart attack every time you do that, but she loves it… tries to make her father do it too.” She ran her hand through her hair.
As if this nigga knew we were discussing him, Quameer pulled up on his bike. Peach waited across the street until she got the go ahead to cross, and she and Elijah both ran over toward him.
“She know only Goo can toss her up like this… her daddy a sucker,” I joked.
Capri laughed. “How long you been out here?”
“Few hours… where’s the boys?”
“With my mother… I didn’t want to bring them out in this heat. Still trying to figure out how to be out with all three of them. Cherry is enough,” she nervously laughed.
I could tell she was still trying to get used to being a mother of three, a wife, and having a career. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, Pri… you got this shit.”
She took a deep breath. “Thanks, Goon. I thought I had it under control with one baby, but two at the same time… shit… me and Meer be in the house trying to catch our breath.”
I laughed. “Told you to call me whenever you need me to get my baby… she loves spending the night with Goo.”
Cherry had spent the night with me and my moms twice before.
When the twins were a few weeks old, I went and got her to give Meer and Capri some time to adjust with the babies.
It was a learning curve because you really had to bend when it came to babies.
You were on their routine, not the other way around.
It wasn’t that hard because I wanted to become a father. Cherry showed me that parenthood wasn’t easy, but the shit was rewarding. I watched how Meer was with his kids, and how they gave him purpose.
Even King.
I saw how he went from being so closed off and broken to becoming a different man. The pain of losing Harley and Cherie was still there, but he opened his heart to new love, and that new love made him a father again.
With princess and prince Inferno, I saw a new side to my guy. He was still serious as shit, but there was a different side to him. While he would usually be here standing on the block with that scowl, shit was different now.
I watched as he was across the street kissing his wife’s neck while she was trying to talk to him about something. There was this silliness about him that not too many people got the chance to witness.
Blair and Quasim both healed each other.
When it came to Queen, many women would assume she was too thirsty, even too needy, but she was exactly what that nigga needed.
Sim never had someone apply pressure behind him, show him that he was needed, wanted and desired.
A nigga needed that reassurance at times, and it was hard to accept that when you were carrying so much guilt.
He felt guilt behind losing Cherie, then his daughter. Women wanted men to be vulnerable, show their emotions and be open, but the minute a nigga showcased fear, hesitance, and didn’t know how to show those emotions, they were annoyed and ready to hop to the next dick.
Confused hoes.
I wanted the love that a nigga was surrounded by on a daily basis. The niggas I ran with were ruthless, but when I was welcomed into their homes, they were different.
Softer.
Tapped into their wives and children’s needs. You couldn’t tell me these were the same niggas that I witnessed put a burner to a man’s head and pull the trigger without an ounce of remorse or feelings.
Men deserved grace to fuck up, figure it out and then become whole for their women. A lot of women wanted perfect men out the gate and weren’t perfect themselves. Packed with a lot of trauma and wrong doings but wanted the perfect man.
There was a lot of shit I had that I needed to unpack, but I knew I could be whole for Zoya. I knew I could wrap my arms around her and let her know she could release. She didn’t need to be strong, because I would be the strength that I knew she needed.
“Yo, you trying to baby sit for us tonight?” Meer came across the street and kissed his daughter’s cheeks. “Cherry, you really acting funny because your God father is here?”
Cherry nuzzled her face in my neck and side eyed her father while Capri laughed. “She always acts funny with us… that’s cause Goon has her spoiled.”
“Always… whatever Cherry mama wants, Goo gonna get it for her, right?”
She held me around the neck tighter, not wanting me to put her down while giving her parents the stink eye. “Then watch her since you wanna be God daddy of the year.” Meer’s ass was in his feelings because his princess didn’t want his ass.
“I got you… fuck you both getting into?”
“It’s Labor Day weekend... I’m trying to be hugged up with my wife… I brought the bike out because we grown and married, Gerald.”
Meer never missed the opportunity to remind someone that he was married. The nigga was the loudest married man I knew.
“As much as Goon would love to watch Cherry, my father is coming to pick the kids up to bring them to the lake house for their last weekend there.” Capri replied.
“What you mean? I can watch my girl.”
Capri smirked. “Your boo is on her way over here.”
“Word?”
Meer laughed. “Nigga, don’t act all casual like you not about to throw my baby to meet her at the end of the block.”
I laughed. “Fuck up.”