Chapter 19 #3
“I’m about to head home.” I stood up and stretched, not in the mood for the drive back to the city.
Either way, I would have to make the drive. I’d rather get the shit over with and wake up in my own bed in the morning.
“Drive me home too.” Zoya demanded.
I wasn’t fighting with her. If she wanted to go home, I was going to drive her there. Even though Capri told her she could spend the night. “Got you.”
I grabbed her jacket because she was no longer concerned with it. Quasim and Blair walked out with us. Blair and Zoya were ahead, as she headed to my truck.
“Set boundaries, G. Don’t let her play games because your heart is in it. Take it from a nigga that has been in her spot.”
We hit the IG shake, and he went to open his wife’s door. Blair climbed into her truck, while he got on his bike and followed behind her.
When I got into my truck, she had the seat reclined back and her eyes closed. I knew she would be snoring on the ride back to the city. I needed the quiet anyway, so I wasn’t tripping.
I pulled my hoodie from the back and covered her up as she started to snore with her mouth open. Security let me out the gates, and I headed toward the highway.
My mom’s name popped up on the car’s screen and I answered. “Waa gwan, Sharon.”
She chuckled. “I’m too tired to fuss at you. I assume you aren’t coming over, eh?”
“Not tonight. You miss me or something?”
“I sleep a little better when you or Kenneth are under the same roof as me… that’s all,” she yawned.
“I know, Mommy… I know. Where’s Nez?”
“Your guess as good as mine… I hope she’s safe wherever she is.”
I nodded my head because that was my prayer always. “Yeah.”
“You don’t sound like you’re home.”
“I’m heading there now.”
“You sound tired, Goo. You need to get some good rest.”
“That’s the plan. What you do today?”
She yawned again. “Went to a few appointments and then food shopped. Kenneth came over and had dinner with me.”
“You liked that, huh? What you made?”
“Very much so. I don’t see him as much anymore. Corn beef and white rice with pear.”
“He’s a busy man. You put some up for me?”
“He better ack like he has a mudda.” She snickered. “Your grandparents called… say you don’t answer the phone.”
“Lies.”
She kissed her teeth. “I know. Their way of saying you been away from home too long.”
“I’ll make time to visit them soon.”
“Okay. How is Ms. Lawyer?”
“She straight.”
“What does that mean?”
“Good.”
“I like her, Goo.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
She could always spot a problem from a mile away. Always knowing when something was wrong from just the tone or words we used. “I don’t want to get into it right now.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to enjoy the rest of your evening… call me in the morning.”
“Love you, Sharon.”
“Love you too, Goo.” She ended the call, as I was nearing the city.
“Why you didn’t tell her the truth?” I heard her voice coming from under my hoodie. I could tell she was up because all that damn train sounding snoring had stopped.
I looked over, as she stared at me. “What’s the truth?”
“You hate me.”
I snorted. “Yeah.”
“See.”
“Zoya, I don’t have time for the mind games with you. If you think I hate you, then I’m gonna let you have it, my dear.”
She was quiet for a bit, and I welcomed that shit. Last thing I wanted was to get into an argument because of problems she caused. She was the one who left abruptly, ignored everything I had told her.
Never gave me the chance to reassure her and let her know that I was here and loved her. If she would have stayed, her fears would have been soothed. It was hard to distance myself from someone I had spent all this time wanting and chasing.
“It’s better this way.”
“Okay.”
“Seriously, Gerald. I know you think I’m playing games with you, but I’m saving you. Saving you from getting your heart broken.”
I pulled in front of our building. “I’m a grown man, Zoya. I don’t need you to protect me from shit… this is all on you.” I hopped out and handed the key fob to valet and rounded the truck to open the door for her.
She held my hand as she stepped down out the truck, and wrapped my hoodie around her, as she walked into the lobby while I was behind her. As much as she wanted me to believe she was trying to save me from a broken heart, we both knew that wasn’t the truth.
Zoya thought she would end up the one with the broken heart, so it was better to quit shit before it ended there.
Thought she knew me better but guess that shit didn’t mean nothing to her. Every nigga was the same to her, and she couldn’t trust them. She held every man she dealt with in the same box, and that was the problem.
I shouldn’t have had to pay for the mistakes of men in her past. Not when she never gave me the chance to prove to her that I was nothing like them. Zoya knew I wasn’t like them, which is what scared her. Being happy scared the shit out of her, so pushing me away was her response.
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We walked silently down the hallway to our doors. She turned to let herself into hers and then turned to face me. “What up, Zoya?”
“I’m not tired… want to come in for a late-night snack?”
She held the door open and I walked in and took a seat on the couch. I loved this girl a lot, but even I knew she wasn’t the type that cooked. “Why you fucking around in the kitchen?”
“Fuck you mean? I’m making us pop tarts.” She held up the box of smores pop tarts in the air.
“How the fuck you making something that’s already made?”
“Stop cursing at me, Goo.”
I shook my head and laughed. “Why am I really here? You left Ashbourne and said nothing… why we pussy footing over the elephant in the room?”
“I had to leave… it was too much.”
She leaned on the counter and waited for the microwave to heat the pop tart. “What happened to remind me, Zoy?”
“Couldn’t rely on that… I just needed to leave and I needed air.”
“I’m smothering you? Let me know… if I’m coming on too strong, communicate. I can give space.”
“At times… you want us to be, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I go back and forth. I know that’s not fair to you though.”
“Bullshit.”
“How?”
“’Cause you know exactly what the fuck you want. You too fucking stubborn and hardheaded to allow yourself to be in love.”
When I told her that I loved her, I peeped how she never responded back. It was fine because I wanted her to say it whenever she felt it. If she didn’t feel the same, I wanted Zoya to tell me on her own terms.
“Why do we have to do all the feelings and shit?”
“Elaborate.”
She sighed, as she took the pop tart out the microwave. “Why can’t we just fuck? Leave our feelings and emotions out of it. That’s what complicates things… just be fuck buddies.”
The last thing I wanted was to just fuck around with Zoya. I wanted to put a ring on her finger, plant my kids inside of her, and buy our dream home. I wanted life with Zoya, more than just fucking and going about our way.
If this was what she wanted, then I was gonna show her exactly how it felt to fuck with Goon.
This wasn’t Goo or Gerald.
She wanted dick without complications, and that was exactly what I would give her.
She watched me stand and cross the living space to where she was in the kitchen.
I backed her up against the counter, and a moan escaped her lips. “You sure this is what you want?”
“I am.”
She wasn’t sure.
I could read the uncertainty in her eyes as she stared up into mine. She didn’t know what to do, and instead of communicating her fears with me, she was settling for this.
Caressing her neck, I stared down at her. “No complications.”
“None.”
“No strings attached… just fucking.”
“Yep.”
I messed with her sweatpants as she continued to stare a hole in my face. Stretching the waist band, I pulled them down and signaled for her to step out of them. She wore a red thong that made my mouth water, but I wasn’t eating pussy tonight.
Tasting her pussy was reserved for what I wanted, not this wham, bam, thank you man bullshit she was subjecting us to.
Pulling her arms up, I rolled her shirt up over her head and tossed it to the side. Zoya was too controlled and structured to not have the matching bra. The way she was standing in this kitchen, she lookedlike a gift wrapped perfectly with a red bow on it.
Slipping my fingers into the side of her panties, she moaned. “Goo.”
“Goon.”
“I can—”
“Goon.” I corrected her again and moved my face when she tried to kiss my lips, spinning her around and pushing her against the counter.
Her hands were planted on the counter, as I unbuckled my pants and dropped them to the floor. Slapping her ass, I bit down on my bottom lip because I wanted to fuck her and not care.
I wanted to pretend this wasn’t shit and I could move on. The shit that bugged me out was I’ve done this song and dance plenty of times with other women. Fucked them and moved on with my life because they meant nothing to me.
Not her though.
She meant everything.
The confusion in her face when I corrected her Goo to Goon was enough for me to drop the act.
I couldn’t.
Zoya was used to getting what she wanted, and I had to give her exactly what she wanted. I couldn’t continue to give her the opposite of what she was asking for. She wanted to be fucked, and that was what I would give her.
My dick pulsated, as I felt her warmness that made me lose my shit. She held onto the counter, as if she could get a good grip on it. She stood on her toes, her pretty white toes, waiting to be sucked.
The glare from the marble countertops let me know they were polished, and she had better luck holding onto a mechanical bull than her countertops.
I slapped her ass before pulling it apart and pushing my dick inside of her. I damn near bit my tongue with how hard I was biting my lip, because this shit felt good. Holding onto her hips, I pushed deeper into her and pulled out.
“Uhmm,” she moaned.