21. Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Kieran
Even though I know I’m not saying goodbye forever, my heart is still heavy in my chest as the ocean waves roar. There’s a rowboat moored on the shore, ready to spirit me away to my timeline. I found my way here once before—surely I can make it back in one piece. Unless something goes wrong and I get stuck in my time or—
“All right, little rabbit?” Wulfric comes to stand behind me, rubbing my cold shoulders. Nuzzling into my neck, he drops kisses over my skin. His beard tickles, and I fight the urge to laugh. Fuck. I’m going to miss him, and I won’t even be gone very long.
“No one’s ever… I don’t know, exploded or lost a limb going through a portal, right?”
“I am not sure.”
I groan, hitting my head back against his shoulder. “You’re supposed to say no!”
“Oh. Is that sarcasm, too?”
Turning in his arms, I smack a kiss on his lips. My wolf whines at the thought of being apart from him. We belong here on Ulfheim with our mate and Lyall, Gunnar, and Helga.
Helga clears her throat softly. “Ready, lad?”
No, but the sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can come home. “Yes.”
Wulfric walks me to the boat, his hand gripping mine tightly. Nerves writhe like snakes in my stomach. “So, um… how will this work exactly? Do you have any control over where you send me?”
Lyall chimes in, “Aye. Don’t fret. It’s quite simple. You came to us because of your bond to Wulfric.”
“But I didn’t know him yet.”
“No, you didn’t, but that doesn’t matter. Through your connection, you had a link to this place. To travel back to your time, you’ll need the branch, aye, but also a memory that ties you to the place where you’re going.”
I think I understand. “So, just think of something that reminds me of New York?”
“That should do it.”
I stop beside Wulfric. The rowboat awaits to take me on my journey.
Coughing to clear the suspicious lump in my throat, I say as casually as I can, “I’ll see you soon.”
“You better.” Wulfric grips my arms, eyes narrowing as a growl builds in his chest. “I’ll tear the world apart to find you and bring you back where you belong.”
“And where do I belong?” I twirl the end of his beard.
He rests his forehead against mine. “Here with me. Always.”
I don’t know how it happened or when, but I found a home here in this world so far from the life I once knew. In my mate’s embrace, I found myself again.
He hands me a wooden statue of a wolf, just like the one Helga gave me. “Use it whenever you’re ready to return.”
I accept the little wooden wolf, blinking fast as my eyes sting. “I will. I promise.”
Then I’m in his arms, and he’s holding me like he never wants to let me go.
And damn it, I never want him to.
Throat tight, I lower myself into the boat. The horizon stretches ahead of me, as vast and overwhelming as it is beautiful. Wulfric stands behind me. “Ready?”
I swallow hard. “Yeah.”
As the waves crash upon the shore, Wulfric gives the boat a shove and before I’m ready, the waves carry me away from him and out to sea. Helga begins to chant behind me and with a flash of light, a portal yawns into existence ahead of me.
With shaking hands, I row toward the light.
I think of New York. Central Park, my favorite spot in the city. Yellow taxicabs. The salty smoke billowing from a pretzel cart. The way the Hudson River looks at dawn. An image flickers in the portal, and it looks familiar. My arms burn as I row faster toward the image that gets clearer with each passing second.
The tip of the boat disappears into the portal, and this is it. Heart pounding, I look back. The silhouettes of Wulfric and our pack watch me go. Tears sting my eyes.
I forgot to tell him that I love him.
Closing my eyes, I find our bond and whisper, “Wulfric, can you hear me? Wulfric, I—”
And then I’m consumed in blinding light, and everything inside me turns upside down.
The boat overturns, and I’m plunged into murky water several degrees warmer than it should be in medieval Iceland. I break the surface with a gasp, shaking my head to get my wet hair out of my face. I’m in the middle of a huge lake with orange leaves drifting on the water, a lake I vaguely recognize. I’m in Central Park. Familiar skyscrapers tower over autumnal leaves, reaching toward a cloudless blue sky.
Oh my god.
It worked. I’m back in NYC!
My eyes are wet with water and stinging with tears. I’m really back home.
“Sir, are you okay?” A mom, dad, and their young son watch me wide-eyed from a rowboat they’re piled into.
“I’m fine,” I assure them, but I must look strange. I can’t wait until they see my outdated clothing. “My boat tipped over.”
“Come on in!” The dad leans over and I swim to him, and he helps pull me into the rowboat. Sure enough, when they see what I’m wearing, their expressions morph into curiosity rather than alarm.
“I was… at a Halloween party.”
“In November?” Their son looks bewildered.
Huh. I lost track of time in the past. They paddle me back to the boathouse where they rented the rowboat. People stare at me in my wet, outdated clothing. I’m sure I look bizarre, especially with my long hair and overgrown but neat beard, but I don’t care. It’s New York—there have been stranger sights.
I’ve got to get back to my apartment. Mark shouldn’t be there since he’s usually at work around this time. I lost all my belongings when I first time traveled, including my wallet, keys, and phone, so I’ve got no way to buy a MetroCard or pay for a cab. Once I find the nearest subway station, I look both ways, jump the turnstile, and jog to catch the first train.
Dressed outlandishly and with my furs smelling of wet dog, I plop into a seat, smiling at the people who scoot away from me, and watch the platforms fly by. I missed riding trains. Even the annoying people who play music on the train don’t bother me like they usually do. I spent so long wishing I could be anywhere else but now that I’m back, it might be hard to leave.
Except there’s a void inside me where my pack and my mate should be. I can’t feel them or hear their songs. As much as I love New York, I love Wulfric more.
Once I’m off the train, I make a beeline for my apartment. I follow a delivery person through the door. Jumping up the stairs two at a time, I arrive outside my door, breathless. Good thing I always keep a spare key under the mat. I shove the key in the lock and turn it—only to nearly fall on my face when the door opens.
“What the—” The words die in my throat.
Mark, my ex-boyfriend, stares back at me with wide eyes. Shit. What day of the week is it? It must not be a workday for him.
“Kieran?” My name is a croak on his lips. “Oh my god. Where have you been ?” He goes to hug me, and I lurch out of his reach.
He’s the last person I wanted to see. Ignoring the hurt on his face, I say, “It’s a long story.”
His hurt hardens into a scowl. Crossing his arms over his chest, he says, “That’s all you have to say? I had to track Amanda down to figure out why it was taking so long for you to come back. She thought you were dead!” His voice shakes.
“Well, I’m back. Can I borrow a phone? I need to talk to Amanda.” I hate that she’s been so worried all this time.
“Yeah. Sure.” I recognize that petulant tone. I didn’t give him the answer he wanted, so now he’ll try and make me feel like an asshole about it. He hands me his phone, and I squeeze past him and hurry into our bedroom. I put the phone on speaker and change out of my wet, chilly things.
“I told you to stop calling me, Mark!” Anger heats her voice.
Emotion stings my eyes at hearing my best friend’s voice after so long. “It’s not Mark. It’s me. I’m back.”
She gasps. “K-Kieran?” She sounds close to tears. “Oh my god. Kieran, is that you?”
Wiping my eyes, I say, “Yeah, Amanda. It’s me. I’m so—”
“You fucking asshole!” she screams, then bursts into tears. I deserve that. I wish I could hug her. “How dare you! You scared me to fucking death, you absolute craphead!”
I clutch the phone close. “I’m so sorry. I’m giving you a hug. Can you feel it?”
Sniffling, she takes in a few deep breaths. “I’ve been so worried about you. The b-boat crew came back and said there’d been a wreck, and all the passengers were accounted for except you. I thought you’d died, Kier.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say again. “I promise I’ll explain everything. Let’s meet up.” My brain short-circuits. “What day is it?”
“Saturday.”
She’s off work today then. “Can we grab a coffee? My treat.”
She laughs wetly. “Yeah, of course. Ugh. I hate you so much.”
“I know. I promise I’ll tell you everything.”
“You better. Meet at the usual at noon?”
“Sounds good.” Amanda has a great bookstore slash coffee shop a few blocks up from her apartment. I check the time on Mark’s phone. Noon is only an hour away.
I hang up and throw on some dry clothes, packing up my wet Viking-era clothes. After I’m dressed, I call my psychiatrist and tell her about quitting my medication. She tells me I’m fine to just start taking my regular dose again.
While I’m in the bedroom, I throw together a suitcase of stuff I want to take with me to Wulfric’s time. Now that I have time to prepare, I want to bring some modern conveniences with me, like my toothbrush and toothpaste. And maybe a sex toy or two. I go through my nightstand, grab my Zoloft and swallow a pill dry. Hopefully, I’ll start feeling better soon. Good thing I had an extra prescription tucked away at home. This should last me a few weeks, then I can come back to the future and get another refill.
In the living room, Mark’s scowling like a petulant child, his arms crossed and foot tapping exaggeratedly. “Kier, I made a mistake.”
I snort. “You accidentally sat on your friend’s dick? Yeah. Sure.”
Groaning, he says, “Because you’re so perfect, right? You know, maybe you should try and see things from my perspective! It wasn’t exactly easy dealing with your crap.”
“My crap?” Anger heats my blood.
“All your anxiety. You could never just chill. You overthought everything. You never wanted to go out with me and my friends on the weekends. It was like I didn’t even have a boyfriend. Have you ever thought about how your anxious bull crap affected me? ”
I almost apologize, like I would have done before we broke up. Before I met a guy who makes me feel like I am good enough, warts and all. I don’t need Mark, and I don’t owe him any more of my time.
“If you were unhappy, you should have just said so.”
His cheeks redden in anger. “So you’re just going to dump me? I don’t get a say?”
“If you really cared so much, you should have thought about that before you went behind my back.” Shouldering my bag, I shove by him.
“You’ll be nothing without me, Kier!”
I freeze, my hand squeezing the doorknob.
“The only reason you had any success is because of me. People who liked our YouTube channel liked us because we were a couple. People liked our shows because it was my name on the billboard.”
Once I’d believed exactly that. But I know better now. I don’t have to settle for some half-assed version of love, because I found the real thing.
“It’s over, Mark. Piss off. By the way, this is me moving out. Sure hope your boyfriend is down to cover my portion of the rent.” I walk out into the hallway and let the door slam on my old life for good.
The train ride to Brooklyn flies by and before I know it, I’m outside our favorite bookshop and café, Moon Beans and Books Café. Through the window of the bookshop, I can see Amanda sitting at a table. At the sight of me, she springs from her seat and tears outside. She crashes into my arms, and I hold my best friend tight. I don’t know if we’re laughing or crying or both as we hold each other for what feels like ages.
“I almost didn’t recognize you,” she says, drying her eyes. “What’s with the beard? I like it!”
“I do too.” For once, I like who I am.
With my arm around her, we go inside the familiar bookshop. The bookshelves are divided into different subgenres of romance, from historical to paranormal to fantasy. Amanda’s already got a bag full of new books under the table.
“Hey, Kieran!” It’s Jamie, the owner of the bookstore. He’s got a smile like a sunbeam. Every time I come in here, he’s always in the best mood. “The usual?”
“Yes, please.”
Jamie gets to work on my iced matcha latte.
Amanda and I sit at our favorite table by the window. I’m not much of a reader by any means, but I still enjoy coming here with Amanda. We studied here several times a week throughout college. “Okay, spill. Tell me everything.” She clutches my hand. There are bags under her wide eyes, and I hate that I’ve worried her.
She deserves the truth, no matter how crazy it sounds.
Jamie stops by to deliver our drinks and once he’s gone, I start talking. The whole story takes me an hour to tell. Amanda, amazingly, stays mostly quiet except for the occasional gasp or exclamation of, “Get the fuck out of here, no way!”
“I’ve got the furs to prove it in my suitcase.”
She’s silent a long time.
Pulling out the wolf furs, I hand them to her. She blinks, her eyes unfocused as she strokes the white pelt.
“Hello, earth to Amanda? Yoo-hoo?” I wave my hand in front of her face.
“I’m sorry, I just… You went back in time? You met that Viking we saw in the painting at the museum, except he’s a werewolf. You’re a werewolf. And you two have some weird imprint Twilight bond?”
“Yes?” I don’t understand the whole imprinting bit, but she’s mostly right.
She exhales. “Whoa.”
“You don’t believe me, do you?”
“I… I believe that you’re different now. I think that whatever happened in Iceland changed you, but only for the better.”
I swallow hard. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” She laughs softly. “You’re different, Kier, but only in a good way. You’re happy, that much is clear. And that’s all that matters to me. I think I just need time to wrap my head around the whole time-travel werewolf stuff.”
“Fair enough.” Smiling, I squeeze her hand.
And then a voice growls, “Tyr’s balls. It’s you!”
A chunk of ice falls into my stomach because I know that voice. But how?
The man standing behind me is tall and lean, dark-haired where his brother is light, green-eyed instead of gray. He wears tight jeans and a black T-shirt with a green apron like Jamie’s. His hair is short now and he’s clean-shaven, revealing a jawline a guy could cut himself on, but I still recognize him.
It’s fucking Anders.
A smirk tugs at his mouth. “Well, well. Seems like Loki is having a laugh at my expense today. What happened? Did my brother get tired of his new pet and send you packing? Need a consolatory belly rub? Oh, how about a little scratchy behind your ears?”
I gnash my teeth. What a dick.
Amanda gawks. “Whoa. He’s hot. And a huge jerk. How do you know him?”
“He’s Wulfric’s brother, the one who tried to overthrow him.”
Amanda’s on her feet in seconds. “You attacked my friend, you piece of shit!” She grabs her heavy bag of books like she’s about to throw it at his head.
Anders’s smirk falls off his face. My five-foot-nothing friend just put the fear of Odin into a Viking werewolf.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Suddenly, Jamie is between Anders and us, smiling his easygoing smile. “I sincerely apologize for my new employee. He’s supposed to be stocking the dark romance section. Aren’t you, puppy dog?”
Puppy dog? Does Jamie know what Anders is? No, that can’t be possible. Can it?
Red bursts in Anders’s cheeks, his jaw tightening as he grinds his teeth. “I can’t kill them?”
“No!” Jamie hisses, whirling toward him with his hands on his hips. He’s a foot shorter than Anders.
A growl rumbles in Anders’s chest. “Can I maim them? Just a little bit.”
Jamie throws him a sunny smile and bats his eyelashes. “No.”
To my amazement, Anders deflates, his scowl morphing into a pout. “Fine,” he grumbles, turning away and hoisting a box of books off the floor. He goes to the back of the store behind a red curtain.
My jaw is on the floor. How has this guy managed to tame Anders?
Jamie flashes us a smile. “Sorry about him. He’s all bark, but he’s got the sweetest bite. Anything else I can get for you today?” he asks innocently, like I didn’t just see him talk a hot-blooded Viking werewolf out of murder.
“Nope,” I say, clearing my throat. “Think we’ll leave now.”
He grins. “No problem! Come back next week. We’re hosting a special edition signing! Info’s on our website.” He holds the door for us.
I almost wish I could stay and figure out what’s going on with him and Anders, but I’m itching to go back to Wulfric. Talking about him to Amanda only made me miss him more.
“I’m going back to Wulfric’s time,” I say.
Her lips tremble. “But you’ll come back, right? I’ve got to meet this Viking guy of yours.” She grasps my hands.
I squeeze tight. “Of course! We’ll visit as often as we can. We should all have dinner together.”
“That sounds amazing!” She pulls me into a hug. “As long as you don’t cook.”
I chuckle into her hair. “Hey, my burnt casserole is amazing.”
I bet Wulfric would love a big feast and to meet Amanda.
Together, we ride the train to Central Park. We walk among autumn leaves and arrive at the lake shore where my boat is still overturned. Wading in up to our ankles, Amanda helps me turn the boat right side up. She gawks at the craftsmanship. “If I didn’t believe you, I would now. Check it out! This looks as authentic as it gets.”
I climb in, setting my suitcase on the wooden floor.
Up to her waist in the water, Amanda takes my hand. A frown creases her face but she wipes it away with a smile. “Dinner this next Saturday at six. Don’t be late.”
“I’ll be there, Mandy. Promise.”
Amanda pulls me down into a hug. “I’m so happy for you.”
I hug her back, eyes stinging. I’ll miss her, but I know that New York is no longer my home.
My home is wherever Wulfric is.
I unfurl my white furs over my shoulders. Instantly, my wolf stirs within me. I start to row. The runes etched into the wooden carving begin to glow and with a flash, a portal appears.
I think of him. His gray eyes. His rugged scent. The warmth of his arms and his deep, low voice. And from beyond the portal, a howl calls me home in a voice I would know anywhere. Faster I row, following my mate’s melody through the portal and home where I belong.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way my stomach turns upside down every time I travel.
The tide pulls me toward shore and as I get closer, figures spill onto the beach. Some are human while others run on four legs as wolves.
The moment my boat hits the wet sand, I’m on my feet and sprinting toward the shore. Cupping my hands to my mouth, I howl to my pack, and they howl back to welcome me home. Lyall greets me first as his huge white wolf, almost bowling me off my feet. He’s like an overgrown puppy prancing around me, yelping his joy. Then Gunnar’s there, an arm over my shoulder as he tousles my hair. Helga throws her arms around me and envelops me in a hug so full of warmth, it makes my heart ache.
And then I see him and everything else fades away. A black wolf larger than any other prowls from the crowd. His eyes are as bright as the moon above, and the moonlight glistens in his ebony coat. He runs toward me, paws thundering. Tears prick my eyes, and I rush to meet him. Halfway there, his body ripples, the fur pulling back from his body, his face warping from wolf to man.
I crash into his solid chest and then his arms are around me, his fingers in my hair. A sigh escapes him, full of the sweetest relief, like he’s been holding his breath for the hours I’ve been gone. Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathe in the scent of my mate, my home, and a piece of me that was missing slots into place.
“You came back,” he whispers, and his voice shakes with emotion, his arms gripping me tighter.
“Of course I did,” I whisper back. Framing his face in my hands, I’m shocked to see tears in his beautiful silver eyes. “You’re my anchor point. The place I’ll always return to, time and again.” Wulfric’s lips tremble when he smiles, no doubt recognizing those very words he said to me when he taught me how to fight for myself, for a place here in this world with him. “I love you, Wulfric.”
His lips find mine, and the ocean surges over our feet. “You honor me, my love. The gods chose well when they brought you to me.”
“That wasn’t what you said when we met,” I tease.
“I was a fool,” he concedes, taking my hand and walking farther up the shore with me. “In truth, I knew you were mine the moment I caught your scent. My wolf knew he’d found his match.”
“Sure were a stubborn bastard about it.”
He chuckles softly, a deep, rusty sound I want to hear more often.
“You were a jerk at first. Although if you wanna bring the cuffs back, I won’t complain.”
His eyes get comically wide. “Hush. Don’t let the pack hear.”
“Is that a no?”
His cheeks redden. “If that’s something you’d be interested in…”
I bump his shoulder with mine. “Let’s go back to the house and I’ll show you how interested I am.”
I’m scooped off my feet with a yelp and thrown like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. I struggle at first and then I just laugh. Wulfric’s shoulders shake with mirth, and he adjusts me, carrying me with his big arms beneath my thighs and my legs around his waist.
Our lips meet and the pack howls around us.
Wrapped in the arms of the man I love, I close my eyes and trust in the northern lights to guide us home.