Fourteen
Reid
I couldn’t leave.
No matter that I could see Natalia had improved tremendously since I first showed up on her doorstep days ago, I was still having such a difficult time.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out why. Guilt was eating at me, and it was only by some miracle that I’d held myself together over the last couple of days.
Maybe it was simply the overwhelming need to be someone Natalia could count on that kept me where I was, that wouldn’t allow me to leave her alone despite her insistence.
I still inwardly winced and felt something twist in my gut every time I recalled what she’d shared during breakfast. The horrible circumstances she’d endured following the death of her parents, everything she’d been through since she was just a teenager, the fight to save herself, and all that the retreat meant to her.
My dad.
God, my dad had been the reason Natalia was here, safe and alive.
For as tumultuous as our relationship was, part of me felt like I owed my father a debt of gratitude for what he’d done for Natalia.
How this woman had the ability to be as pleasant and charming and wonderful as she was after all that she’d endured was a mystery. And I hated to think that I’d believed, for even one second, that she was anything but incredible.
I hadn’t suffered even a fraction of what Natalia had been through, and simply listening to the story of her life had been difficult for me.
Even now on Monday morning—days after showing up and seeing what had been done to her at the hands of her ex and nearly twenty-four hours after getting more of her story from her—I was still trying to come to grips with it all.
There had been so much that left me feeling anger, sadness, frustration, and fury on her behalf, and contending with the very real emotions was challenging. But I had no choice, because for more than a day, Natalia had needed my help.
She’d been so exhausted, so disoriented, from the moment she’d fallen asleep on Friday afternoon until she woke on Sunday morning.
And while she spent most of that time resting—those moments being the only ones that allowed me to deal with my own emotions over what happened to her—there were those few instances when she’d woken for long enough to eat something small and take in some fluids.
It was in those moments of vulnerability for her that something changed for me.
Granted, I was convinced something had changed prior to that, considering I wound up at her doorstep, hoping to apologize. But when all of Natalia’s defenses were down and she simply needed someone to look out for her, I took on the job with pride.
It was such a strange feeling, something I’d never experienced before. Sure, I’d had girlfriends over the years, and I didn’t think I’d ever been a bad boyfriend. But I’d never felt the urge to protect and care for them the way I had with Natalia.
I kept telling myself it was because she’d been hurt so badly, but deep down, I couldn’t ignore the truth. It was something else, something much more meaningful that was happening.
Especially when everything changed again for me when she shared all that she had after breakfast. I swore I could feel my own heart breaking as she told me all the reasons that she was so talkative. I hadn’t been able to get those words out of my head ever since.
And I’d never, not in my whole life, witnessed anyone break down the way Natalia had. Of course, nobody else had ever told me such a sad story before, either.
Everything that I witnessed from her from the first day I met her all made sense now.
Natalia was so lonely and desperate for connection.
Even if I could have somehow reassured myself that she was physically safe from harm now, I didn’t think I’d be able to leave her alone ever again.
This gorgeous woman went out of her way to be so kind to everyone, because she was searching for that connection, that bond, with anyone. In doing so, she’d wound up suffering at the hands of a monster.
I didn’t care what it took; I was going to give it to her. And for some reason, it felt as though I hadn’t even needed to think to make the decision. It was just the way it was going to be. Whether that was born of some primal instinct to protect her, I didn’t know. Quite frankly, it didn’t matter.
I was here, and I didn’t intend to leave.
Maybe that was the reason I had insisted on staying with her last night, too.
Following what had to be the longest movie marathon I’d ever participated in, Natalia had turned her exhausted expression my way. She’d been at the opposite end of the couch with a pillow propped on the arm of it. “Tired?”
Rolling onto her back—I noted the way she still winced with pain when she moved—she nodded. “Somehow, despite doing almost nothing all day, I feel like I could sleep for a week.”
My lips curved into a smile, my fingers pressing into my thighs as I fought the urge to touch her. “Your body is still healing. Don’t fight to stay awake now. Give yourself the time to rest.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” She eased herself up. “Thank you for being willing to spend another day here with me today. I know it might have been boring for you, but it was wonderful not to have to spend the day alone.”
A lock of her hair had fallen forward, and it was everything I could do not to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. “I didn’t think today was boring at all. I had a great time.”
She smiled. “Oh, I bet.”
“I’m serious. This was nice.”
My declaration seemed to put Natalia at a loss for words. She dropped her gaze to her lap and fidgeted with her hands resting there. When she finally returned her attention to me, she said, “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at work?”
Shaking my head, I replied, “You’ll see me when you wake up tomorrow.”
“What?”
“I think it’d be wise for me to spend one more night here with you.”
Her lips parted, and even though I waited for a few beats, Natalia couldn’t seem to bring herself to respond. I figured a little bit of clarification wouldn’t hurt.
“I’m not planning anything nefarious, Natalia.
You can go sleep in your bed, and I’ll take the couch.
I think you’re doing well enough that you don’t need me sleeping in the chair in your bedroom, but I don’t think it’d hurt to have me here in case anything pops up.
Plus, the couch is between the front door and your bedroom. ”
Natalia’s body tensed, her eyes roaming over my face as her expression grew curious. “Reid…”
Her voice trailed off, but I could sense she’d come to a realization and drawn some conclusions. “What is it?”
“You’re still concerned that Tim knows I’m here and is going to come after me.”
I couldn’t lie to her. While a good chunk of my worries came from wanting to see to it that she didn’t have any physical or emotional troubles throughout the night, the truth was that I hadn’t stopped thinking about this monster coming here to finish the job he’d started.
Natalia seemed convinced enough that there was no need to be worried, so long as she was here, but I hadn’t quite gotten there and didn’t feel the same level of confidence.
“I just want to know that you’re safe. That’s all.”
“I’m going to be okay.”
Nodding, I insisted, “Of course, you will. Because I’m going to spend just one more night here with you to be certain that’s the case.”
“I’m not going to be able to convince you otherwise, am I?”
I shook my head. “No. Sorry.”
Having made that much clear, and with that understanding between us, we got ourselves ready for bed.
And now that a new day had dawned, I realized I was going to have to come up with a plan to ease myself out of this with her, away from my constant need to stay close just to keep her safe and protected.
Surely, Natalia was going to lose her patience with me if I decided to take up permanent residence at her place.
Slowly.
I’d have to slowly put some physical distance between us for short periods of time today. I could only hope I’d be able to convince her.
A creak on the floorboards alerted me to the fact that I was no longer the only one awake. I quickly sat up, my eyes meeting hers.
Even with the bruises still lingering, I thought she was stunning. If I didn’t think it’d freak her out completely, I might’ve allowed myself more time to simply take her in. Instead, I stood from the couch and moved in her direction. “Good morning.”
Natalia’s expression warmed. “Good morning, Reid. Did you sleep okay?”
“I did. And you?”
“It was great.”
I smiled at her. “Good. And how are you feeling otherwise today?”
She nodded, glanced down at her body, and back up at me. “The best I have in days.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
For a moment, we stood there, merely staring at one another as an awkward silence settled between us. Unsurprisingly, it was Natalia who broke it. “So, I was hoping that you’d allow me to make breakfast this morning as a token of my appreciation for all that you’ve done over the past few days.”
“Well, I don’t want you to think that you have to repay me in any way simply because I did what anyone should’ve done in this situation, but I won’t complain about it if you want to make breakfast. I’ve tasted your food before, and I wasn’t the least bit disappointed.”
That admission forced a smile onto her face, and Natalia’s eyes danced with delight. “I remember how aggressively you ate that meal. I’m not sure if breakfast will top it, but I’ll do my best.”
“Okay. I’m going to use the bathroom quickly, and I’ll come out to help with drinks and utensils.”
“Sounds good.”
By the time I’d seen to my needs and returned to the kitchen, the delightful aroma of breakfast had filled the air. I watched as Natalia worked, her body moving with much more ease than it had in days. It was a relief to see that she really was on the mend.
When we finally sat down to eat, I was still watching her with such a close eye that Natalia asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”