30 | Honey
30 | honey
CARA
I was sure it looked as if I had purchased a whole flower shop. At work, my colleagues had handed me bouquet after bouquet, each one intended for William, who had been transferred to the general ward of another hospital just the day before. News of his assault had spread, and with it, the fact that I was now officially his girlfriend. Ellie hadn’t seemed remotely surprised by our relationship, nor had the rest of our colleagues, but they all refrained from asking any nosy questions – even Ellie managed to resist. Instead, they offered sympathy, well-wishes, and a veritable mountain of flowers. Some chocolates, too.
I was initially at a loss about how to transport all this to William. Carrying it all was impossible. But then I remembered where William had left his car keys. I was due to stop by his flat after work to collect his post anyway, so I decided I’d use his car for the task. It seemed the only feasible option; using public transport was out of the question with so many flowers in tow. William had told me before that I was free to use his car whenever I needed it, and this situation certainly qualified. Still, it had been months since I last drove, and the prospect of braving London’s chaotic traffic was daunting. What if I dented his car? The mere possibility made me shudder.
‘You’re free to leave, Cara.’ Violet’s gentle voice interrupted my thoughts as she stopped by my desk, having just returned from a meeting with John. She had taken over as my supervisor in William’s absence – a small mercy in these turbulent times. I couldn’t imagine anyone else filling his shoes quite so well.
I snapped my laptop shut and looked up into her compassionate brown eyes. Her lips curved slightly downward as she read my exhausted expression. Just yesterday, we had spent our lunch hour talking about William’s assault, and she had comforted me with such kindness that I’d found myself crying in her presence.
She had expressed a desire to visit William herself, and while I relayed her wishes to him when I saw him yesterday, his response was hesitant. He appreciated the thought but preferred visits to be limited to family and myself for the time being. I understood why – William hadn’t disclosed Francesca’s pregnancy to Violet, nor had I, and he was bracing for potentially unsettling news about the paternity test that was due as soon as I arrived with his post today. If the result was not what he hoped, facing anyone else, even Violet, would be too much.
Gathering my belongings, I thanked Violet and left the office, heading directly to William’s flat. My plan was to collect his post first, then return to the office to fetch the flowers and chocolates before going to the hospital.
Upon entering his flat, I immediately located the keys on the console table by the door and then went downstairs to check his letterbox. Amidst the usual assortment of bills, a thick and securely sealed envelope caught my eye, marked with the clinic’s logo. My heart rate quickened as I traced the edges, aware of the weight of the contents within. Holding it felt like holding a potential turning point in William’s life – and ours.
I inhaled deeply and slipped it into my bag, steeling myself for the drive and the confrontation with whatever truths lay ahead.
Driving through London’s traffic proved as nerve-wracking as I had feared, but the thought of what I carried with me was even more intimidating. Each red light was a moment to contemplate the potential changes that the contents of that envelope could bring.
When I finally parked outside the hospital – thankfully without any scratches added to the car – I took a moment to compose myself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself a long, steadying breath to settle the nerves that fluttered wildly in my chest. Whatever happened, I was staying with William. And that was all that truly mattered. Like a mantra, I repeated these words in my mind until I felt a tad calmer, then stepped out of the car and gathered as many of the bouquets as I could carry, along with the chocolates and my bag. The rest of the flowers would have to wait – perhaps I could enlist a nurse’s help later. For now, the most pressing concern was the sealed envelope in my bag.
I ignored the curious glances I got as I navigated my way into the building, barely seeing where I was going thanks to the jungle of floral arrangements in my arms. A male nurse promptly materialised at my side.
‘Let me help with those,’ he said, then asked where I was headed.
‘William Night,’ I replied.
Nodding, he guided the way to William’s room, swinging open the door with his elbow and walking in first.
‘Bloody hell.’ William’s voice crackled with astonishment, his eyes widening at the sight of me engulfed in yet more blooms. ‘What’s all this, then? You’ve robbed all the bees!’
A spontaneous laugh escaped me. ‘I don’t see the problem – you’ve already got your honey,’ I quipped, earning a smirk from him. ‘They’re from our colleagues.’ I set the three boxes of chocolates I had managed to carry onto the small table beside his bed, then looked at the nurse. ‘There’s more still in the car. Could you lend a hand bringing the rest in later?’
‘No problem.’ He shot a glance at William, his grin spreading. ‘You’re quite the beloved man, Will.’
‘I’ve no idea why,’ William replied drily, a sardonic twist to his mouth. ‘I take the mickey out of most of them more often than not.’
‘No, you don’t,’ I snorted.
William raised an eyebrow, a playful challenge in his gaze. ‘In my mind, I do.’
I let out a giggle, shaking my head. ‘Right, of course.’
The nurse glanced between us, his smile softening as if he sensed the close rapport. He stepped back, gesturing to the corridor with a nod. ‘I’ll give you two a bit of privacy,’ he said. ‘If you need anything, or when you’re ready to fetch the rest of the flowers, just give me a shout. I’ll be at the nurses’ station just down the corridor to the left.’
‘Thank you, really appreciate it,’ I replied.
As he slipped out, closing the door quietly behind him, the room grew quieter, the absence of his presence marking a private bubble for William and me.
William beckoned to me, his eyes twinkling with affection. ‘Give me a taste of that honey.’
Smiling, I moved over at once, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on his warm, soft lips.
‘Mmm. Sweetest one there is,’ he murmured as I pulled away. His eyes wandered over my face, studying the details. ‘You okay?’ he asked then, a hint of concern in his tone. ‘You look a bit tired.’
‘I am,’ I sighed, sinking into the chair beside his bed. ‘I borrowed your car – I hope you don’t mind – and the drive here was stressful to say the least.’
He gave a crooked smile and reached for my hand. ‘Stressful, huh? Is my car still in one piece?’ he teased, his voice imbued with that familiar cheeky charm.
‘It’s fine. Better shape than you, at least.’ I surveyed him, noting the slow recovery visible in his features. His bruised eye was still puffy but no longer swollen shut, and his broken right forearm was in a white cast, vividly signed by Jason, Andy, and Alex in fluorescent pink.
‘How are you feeling today?’ I asked, gently running my thumb over the back of his hand.
He glanced down at our entwined fingers, his smile fading into a more sombre expression. ‘Do you want the honest answer, or—’
‘The honest one.’ I tightened my grip slightly, bracing myself for the truth.
‘I’m…’ He hesitated, his voice trailing off. ‘I’m just a bit… pensive. Over the past few days, what happened… It’s really starting to sink in.’
I lifted his hand to my lips, kissing it tenderly. My eyes welled up with tears, but I fought them back; I needed to be strong for him. The weight of his trauma bore down on us both, yet he was the one suffering the most. I couldn’t begin to imagine what dark thoughts might be swirling in his mind now that he had begun to process the assault.
‘Are you fixating on anything in particular or is it all just a mess?’ I asked softly, my tone soothing, giving him the space to unravel his thoughts.
He sighed deeply and raised his gaze, his eyes searching mine before he settled into a brief, contemplative silence.
‘It’s a turmoil of emotions more than clear thoughts,’ he murmured. ‘A lot of anger. I’m angry with Oliver, I’m angry with Francesca, and I’m angry with myself for believing her when she told me she was single. Looking back, there were signs. She made some abrupt departures, acted suspiciously around her phone, and they’re all things I now feel I should have picked up on. At the time, I didn’t mind; I was actually relieved, because I thought it meant she wasn’t investing in me, and I wanted to keep things casual. But, in hindsight, those moments feel like clues I should have seen.’
‘William, you gave her the benefit of the doubt. That’s not a fault – it’s a strength,’ I said quietly, noting the tension in his face. ‘She abused your trust, and what she did was utterly deplorable, not a reflection on you.’ I paused, searching his eyes for a flicker of relief or acceptance, hoping my words would ease some of his self-reproach. ‘Don’t beat yourself up for being a good person. It’s her actions that are at fault, not your willingness to trust.’
He nodded faintly, his expression darkening as his jaw tensed. ‘Maybe. But mostly, I’m angry with Oliver. I’m angry he resorted to violence, as if I were aware of their relationship. I wasn’t. I seriously had no idea.’ He shook his head, frustration cutting into his features. ‘And since Oliver was just an acquaintance, I didn’t feel the need to double-check Francesca’s story by contacting him. What was I supposed to have done? Ring him up and go, “Your ex wants me in her bed. You all right with that?”’ He scoffed, the sound bitter.
‘We weren’t friends,’ he continued, his voice growing steadier but colder. ‘It didn’t seem like it was any of his business, so I kept him out of it. Especially because I had no serious intentions with Francesca in the first place, it just felt wrong to involve him.’
‘It would have been ridiculous if you did,’ I said, nodding.
‘Right?’ William paused, his gaze distant as if trying to piece together fragmented memories. ‘And while I can’t remember the assault, I doubt he spoke to me before he attacked, because I wouldn’t have said anything that might warrant such a response. As a man who knows jealousy all too well, I can imagine how infuriating it must be to discover your partner has been unfaithful. That’s why I know I would have been humble – apologetic even – if he’d confronted me. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone, knowing how I would feel if it were me.’
‘I agree. You would have handled it with respect,’ I said, relieved to hear that he was considering his own integrity in the situation. ‘That’s just who you are, Will. You wouldn’t have escalated things.’
‘Exactly,’ he said, his voice firm but filled with a trace of sadness. ‘I’ve never wanted to be that man – the one someone cheats with. It’s against everything I stand for. And yet, unbeknownst to me, I was.’
He sighed deeply, the weariness palpable. ‘Francesca must have realised that lying was the only way she’d get me into bed. Had I known the truth, I would never have touched her.’
‘I’m sure she knew that,’ I mumbled, my brows knitting as I squeezed his hand.
‘And now,’ William said, his gaze drifting off, ‘Oliver’s gone and stalled my career. I loved working on those transactions, Cara. They were seriously riveting. It didn’t feel like work. I was doing something I’m passionate about, something that both challenged and stimulated me. And now, I’ve been robbed of that, all because I was with a woman I believed was single.’ He shook his head, his disbelief clear. ‘It all feels so bizarre, so fucking unfair. I never saw this coming.’
Tears pricked my eyes. ‘It is unfair, Will. You never deserved any of this.’
His grateful glance told me he found some comfort in my words, a small solace in the storm that had upended his life.
‘I’m just… rattled,’ he murmured, his voice shaking slightly. ‘This whole ordeal has left me feeling na?ve and utterly powerless. I keep telling myself it wasn’t my fault, but it terrifies me to think that an action of mine could lead to such dire consequences. The man tried to kill me, Cara. He seriously meant to end my life – I’m sure of it.’
A sharp pain twisted in my chest as I absorbed the weight of his words. ‘Will, I…’ My voice cracked, the edges of my vision blurring with more tears. I squeezed his hand tighter, anchoring myself to the moment, to him. The stark reality that I could have lost him, that his light could have been snuffed out so senselessly… The fragility of life, so cruelly underscored by this experience, was suffocating. I fought against the surge of despair, desperate to find words that might soothe, might heal. ‘No one should ever have to endure what you’ve gone through. But you’re here, you’re alive, and that’s what matters now.’
William swallowed hard, a visible struggle against the emotions clogging his throat. ‘Sitting here, still breathing… It all feels so odd. Even this’ – his voice faltered as he squeezed my hand – ‘holding your hand, feels surreal. I keep thinking I might never have had the chance to do this again. To hold your hand, to hear my parents’ voices, to banter with Jason, to hear you all breathe. It’s overwhelming, and it’s made me realise how much I’ve taken for granted. I’m still trying to unpack the mountain of lessons this incident has taught me. It’s been eye-opening, to say the least.’
Like him, I stared at our intertwined hands, my eyes moistening further. My emotions teetered on the edge, raw and sensitive, stirred by his poignant words.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ I admitted. The thought of being so close to death, as he had been, was unimaginable to me. I had never faced mortality so closely – not that I knew of, at least.
‘You don’t have to say anything,’ William murmured, his feeble voice shredding the last defences around my heart.
Since I couldn’t trust my voice not to break into sobs, I simply shook my head and tightened my grip on his hand.
‘I’m arranging to meet with a counsellor next week,’ he said then, a hint of determination seeping through the frailty. ‘As part of the victim support programme. Both the police and my doctor urged me to see someone before you arrived today. Mum and Dad will want me to as well, so I’m going to give it a go.’
I kissed his hand repeatedly, inhaling his familiar scent. ‘You should,’ I murmured softly.
William paused, his eyes locking with mine, a blend of vulnerability and incredulity flickering across his face. ‘Can you imagine how surreal it will be if I have to deal with Francesca for the rest of my life?’ He let out a short, humourless laugh, the absurdity of the situation momentarily lightening the gravity in his tone. ‘I mean, if that test shows I’m the father… After all she’s done, I can barely stomach even the thought.’
I felt the weight of the envelope in my bag, its contents a turning point that loomed ominously over us. Taking a sharp breath, I reached for it.
‘Actually, the result came today,’ I said, my hands shaking as I pulled out the envelope, the rustle of paper loud in the quiet of the hospital room.
William watched, his breath held, as I extended the envelope to him.
‘We don’t have to open it now if you’re not ready,’ I said, understanding the enormity of what the document represented.
He gulped, nodding slowly as he reached out a hand toward the envelope, his fingers brushing against mine. ‘No, we should do it now. No matter what it says, I need to know. I need to face whatever comes next.’
My pulse quickened as he tore open the envelope and drew out the papers, his eyes briefly closing before he steeled himself to look. As he unfolded the documents, I put my hand on his thigh, hoping to ground him – hoping to remind him that he wasn’t alone in this, regardless of the words printed on the page.
‘Whatever it says, I’m here,’ I told him firmly.
He nodded, drawing a deep breath as his eyes began to scan the first lines, the moment stretching between us, filled with hope and fear in equal measure. His gaze flicked back and forth across the page, each line seemingly taking an age to read, his expression a mask of concentration and apprehension. The room fell into a deep silence, broken only by the soft whir of nearby medical equipment.
Finally, he let out a long, slow breath that he seemed to have been holding forever. He looked up from the paper, his eyes wide as they locked with mine.
‘It’s negative,’ he whispered, the words barely audible. ‘I’m… I’m not the father.’
The words cut through the tension like a knife. Relief surged. I gasped, tears instantly leaking from my eyes. All the fear, all the uncertainty of the past weeks melted away in an instant.
William’s face crumpled, the stoic fa?ade he had maintained shattering as tears started to slide down his cheeks. He dropped the papers, reached out for my hand and clutched it. ‘Cara, I… I’m free. We’re free from this nightmare.’
Words failed me. I nodded, drying my face and sniffling. The relief was too visceral, too all-encompassing to contain. I stood up, wrapping my arms around him, our sobs mingling in the quiet room.
‘Thank you,’ he choked out between sobs. ‘Thank you for being here, for standing by me through every moment of this hell.’
I pulled back slightly, wiping his cheeks with my fingers, my own tears still falling. ‘Of course, William. I love you.’
More tears came as we held each other, but they were tears of release, of a future reclaimed. We stayed like that for a long while, letting the reality wash over us.
Gradually, our tears began to dry, and a calm settled between us. William’s gaze drifted to the boxes of chocolates on the table.
‘I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but suddenly, I could really use a chocolate,’ he said with a small smile.
I chuckled lightly, drying my cheeks, then opened a box. William studied the rows of chocolate, each piece distinct in hue, before he selected a dark one. As he brought it to his mouth, I picked one for myself.
William hummed appreciatively, the corners of his mouth curling slightly. ‘These are delicious,’ he murmured, eyeing the box curiously. ‘Who are they from?’
‘They’re Belgian,’ I replied, glancing at the elegant script on the side of the box. ‘From Lawrence. He wanted to make sure you had something sweet to lift your spirits.’
‘I’ve already got you, though.’
‘Something edible,’ I replied, amusement twisting my lips as I placed the box on his lap.
His eyes darkened momentarily, glimmering with mischief. ‘Haven’t I proved you can be quite edible?’
Heat rushed to my face, the sensation of raspberry sorbet landing on my skin resurfacing in my mind.
William chuckled smugly as he observed my high colour. ‘Perhaps we’ll go with Belgian chocolate next time.’ He picked up another piece, rolling it between his fingers thoughtfully. ‘Lawrence always had good taste,’ he said, a smile stretching his mouth. ‘Like that homemade eggnog at the Christmas party.’
‘Hm. I hope I’ll get a chance to taste that.’
‘You will. I’ll make sure of it,’ he promised with a wink. ‘Lawrence can’t say no to me – he adores me.’
‘Who doesn’t?’ I gave him a lopsided smile, brushing my hair behind my ear. ‘Actually, now that we’re on the subject, do you know how long you’ll be absent from work?’
He sighed, then popped the chocolate into his mouth. ‘Six weeks, on the doctor’s orders, if not longer, depending on my progress.’
‘Six weeks?’ I echoed, my eyebrows rising in surprise. That was longer than I had anticipated. ‘I’ll be done with my vacation scheme by the time you return, then.’
‘Yeah. It blows.’ He met my eyes, his lips turning downward in a resigned frown. ‘Have they assigned anyone else to oversee you yet?’
‘Violet.’
He gave a wry chuckle, his eyes rolling subtly in amusement. ‘Of course.’ His gaze lingered on mine, clearly probing for my thoughts. ‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘I’m thrilled, actually.’
The corner of his mouth quirked up. ‘And I’m not remotely surprised. It seems Violet might just be my biggest competition for your affections.’
I laughed, caught off guard by his joke. ‘She is. I’m almost jealous you’ve slept with her.’
‘I knew it.’ He chuckled again. ‘Ego aside, she might even turn out to be a better mentor to you than I have been.’
That piqued my interest. I genuinely hoped he was right. The thought of enduring a dismal end to my vacation scheme was less than appealing.
‘I’m not sure,’ I murmured. ‘I doubt she’ll bring me coffees with all sorts of phrases on them – some more motivational than others.’
A captivating grin spread across his mouth. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll still bring you coffees, love. Just in bed, is all, rather than at your desk.’
‘Cryptic messages included?’
‘Certainly.’
I couldn’t help but beam at him. ‘Can’t wait. Though, how exactly do you plan to manage that?’
‘Well, the doctor’s recommended I have someone around the flat for the first few weeks after I’m discharged, to handle the cooking and whatnot since I’ll be rather useless. So, you came to mind.’
My smile grew wider at his not-so-subtle hint, but I played along. ‘You’re asking me to be your maid?’
He chuckled, a warm, infectious sound. ‘No, I’ve already got someone for that. I’m asking if you’d consider moving in for a while, as my partner. You can play sexy nurse, too, if you like, but that’s your call.’
My heart missed a beat, excitement fluttering through me at the thought of living with him, even if just for a few weeks. I’d get to see him every single day. After everything that had happened – after fearing I might lose him forever – it felt like everything I could have hoped for.
‘Of course I’ll do it,’ I said, my hand reaching out to stroke his thigh gently. ‘I’m glad you asked.’
‘Good. Thanks,’ he replied, his voice softening. ‘You can pay rent with kisses.’
‘Sounds like a bargain.’
He picked up another chocolate, his smile growing cheeky. ‘Who knows? Maybe you’ll never move out again.’
My breath hitched in my throat as I held his gaze. The possibility echoed in my mind, thrilling and a little daunting. But as I watched him smile, all I felt was the warm assurance that wherever this led, it was exactly where I wanted to be.
‘Who knows, indeed,’ I replied, mirroring his smile .