Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
LOTTIE
It’s been one week since Thane rocked both my physical and business worlds in a way that tilted my entire life on an axis with no gravity. The way he so casually threw out possibilities for my research, and honestly believes they carry merit, was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever witnessed.
I knew he was brilliant, but experiencing his mind in action is something else entirely.
If what he’s saying is true, and I have no reason to believe it’s not, then he’s also right about me not reaching high enough. But without the background in technology that he has, it’s impossible for me to implement this all on my own.
“I have an idea.” Thane barrels into my home like a comedian making a grand entrance. The door flies open, and his presence fills the room while I stare at his wild, unruly hair.
He’s changed in the month he’s been here. Subtle changes, like his posture that’s no longer always ramrod straight. His hair has grown out a little, showing the natural curl he doesn’t know how to tame. But mostly, it’s the smiles—they happen much more frequently when we’re alone, and I swear to God, my entire being falls a little more each time he graces me with one.
Setting my laptop on the coffee table, I lean back to hear this great idea. I’ve been working in my family room to give Kara and Rafe a little more space while Thane goes back and forth a hundred times a day. Plus, this way, they get to deal with the Scuttlebutts. It’s been a nice break for me, if I’m being honest.
“What’s this idea?” With him close, all the tension drains out of me, even as he paces and sort of bounces on his toes. This is what he does when he’s really fired up about something good.
Is it strange that I’ve learned this man’s mannerisms in such a short amount of time? Maybe. But he’s better than any book I’ve ever read and has so many layers I could probably learn from him every day for the rest of my life and still not reach his core.
Luckily, he seems to be sharing the important pieces with me freely.
“There’s an event coming up. A formal event, which I hate, and never go to, but with you, it wouldn’t be so bad.”
“I think there was a compliment in there somewhere.” I purse my lips so I don’t laugh at his confused and slightly annoyed frown.
“Yes. There was. I wouldn’t even consider going to something like this for anyone else.”
“But you’ll go for me?”
“That’s what I’m saying.” His hands gesture wildly around the room.
“Calm down. I’m teasing you. What’s this event?”
“The advancements in technology awards. They’re coming up in New York.”
“I thought you said you were going to this thing for me. This sounds like it would be me going for you.”
His head tilts back and forth as though he’s replaying his words in his mind.
“No, this is definitely for you. I’ve purchased a table at this event every year since I was nineteen, but I’ve never been. Generally, I send my executives. But this year, I’ll go and take you with me.”
“I’m still not following how this is for me.”
“This is the event where companies debut their up-and-coming products, their next big things. You are the next big thing.”
He has it all worked out in his mind, but he’s unable to view things from anyone’s perspective but his own. It would be one thing if I thought he simply didn’t care to, but it’s more than that. I’m not sure he’s capable of seeing from my point of view without a picture being drawn for him.
“Thane, I think we need to talk.”
He presses his pointer finger into his temple. “We are talking.”
“About where you picture our…business relationship going.”
“I’ll tell you.” Confidence is this man’s superpower. “You need a tech company to help build and manage your infrastructure. I have the best tech company in the world. You’re my girlfriend, so I’ll help you, and that way, we’re both monitoring how your product is used.”
“I don’t…I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Hurt shines in his eyes before confusion muddies them. “What do you mean? I’m the best at what I do. Why wouldn’t you want the best?”
“It feels…complicated.”
“It’s not. You need what I have. I want to help you do good in the world with it.”
“By tying our companies together.”
“Yes.”
“That means we’ll be working together during the day and dating at night.”
“Yes.” Frustration bleeds into his tone, but he doesn’t raise his voice. To him, this is all very black and white, but all I see are the shades of gray.
I inhale deeply and release it slowly, deliberately. “I understand what you’re saying, and I appreciate what you want to do. But realistically, we haven’t known each other long enough to put this kind of trust in each other.”
“You trust me to stick my dick in you, but not to ensure that you and your company are not taken advantage of?”
When he puts it that way, I sound like an asshole.
“Let me try again.” How will this make sense to him? “Okay, think back to your very first company. It was yours. You built it, right? Your dream, your baby.”
“All true.”
I imagine him taking in all this information as though he’s a computer and he’s trying to find the shortest distance between two lines. But what he’s missing are the landmines hidden in plain sight.
“Right. So, now pretend you started dating someone who had more experience than you in that business. It was all new and fun, and the relationship hadn’t been tested yet.”
“Go on.” The vein in his neck bounces with each clench of his jaw.
“Well, what would you have said if this woman offered you what you’re offering me?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Why not?”
“I wouldn’t have known if I could trust her, but I know you can trust me.”
“Exactly. You know it.”
He rocks back on his heels with a jolt. “You don’t trust me.”
“I do, but this is also my life’s work. It’s my baby. The first thing that has ever really and truly been mine. If we don’t work out?—”
His gaze hardens, and I’m pretty sure I can hear his teeth grinding.
“Why wouldn’t we work out?”
“Who knows? Why doesn’t anyone work out? We may be a near-perfect match on paper, but it doesn’t account for life experiences, mistakes, hardships. And if we don’t work out, I don’t know that being tied to you in the business world would be good for me. Can’t you understand that?”
He’s silent as he stares at me, but I swear he’s fighting a smile as he gracefully lowers himself to the sofa beside me. When he leans forward to rest his forearms on his thighs, his eyes crinkle at the corners.
“We’re a near-perfect match?” His voice is silvery and hypnotic.
Damn it. I didn’t mean to let that slip.
“After everything I said, that’s what you latch on to?”
“How near-perfect are we, Charlotte?”
“Close.”
His hand reaches out and circles my wrist. With one gentle tug, he manages to slide me into his lap. “How close?”
I can’t look him in the eye. I won’t. It’s as though I’m being scolded by the dirty headmaster, except in this scenario, I like it.
Perhaps I am watching too much Cassio TV. My imagination is hovering right above the gutter these days.
“Extremely close.” If I evade long enough, will he give up?
“Numbers, sweetheart. I want to hear the exact number.” His arms band around my waist, trapping my arms at my sides, and he pulls me back into him, forcing me to toss my legs over the side of his.
I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling. When I don’t answer, he shifts, and his soft lips press to the pulse point on my neck.
“Don’t hold out on me, Lottie. How close are we to perfect?” He nips at my skin, eliciting an inconvenient groan.
For the last week, he’s been living here, sleeping in my bed, having breakfast with me, his sister, and Rafe. It’s all been so…seamless.
I can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop.
“Sweetheart, do I have to pry it out of you?” One hand slides up to cup my breast, the pad of his thumb brushing over my sensitive nipple.
A knock at the door has my entire body turning to stone.
“Lottie, dear? You in there? Your door’s locked.”
Thane chuckles. I’m pretty sure he set it to lock automatically since it now has a keypad instead of a key.
He pinches my nipple harder, and I begin to squirm.
“Thane,” I hiss. “Mrs. Perez is right outside.”
“Give me a number.” His hand trails down to cup my pussy through my leggings. If I’ve learned one thing about Thane, it’s that he doesn’t back down from a challenge.
“Lottie? Maybe she’s around back.”
I don’t know who Mrs. Perez is talking to, but I know we have about two minutes before whoever’s with her walks up my back steps to a front-row view of me in Thane’s lap.
“Fine. Ninety-nine point seven percent. We’re a ninety-nine point seven percent match.”
He growls like an animal below me, and his gaze darkens as a possessive streak flares, turning his bright green eyes the color of a pine forest at night.
“I’ll work on that point three percent.” His hands lift me, place me on the sofa, then he stalks to the front door and nearly takes it off its hinges when he opens it.
“Oh, dear. You startled me, Thane.”
“And yet, you’re still here,” he mutters under his breath.
I spring to my feet, ushering him out of the way.
“What was that, dear?” Poor Mrs. Perez.
“He said, he’s so glad that you’re here.”
“Oh. Yes. That’s nice. I wanted to check on you, Lottie.” Her face is pinched tight as she studies Thane. She steps forward to enter as Sharky walks through my back door.
“She looks good to me, Mrs. Perez. See, nothing to worry about.” Sharky winks at Thane, and he frowns. He doesn’t quite know what to make of her, but she’s harmless…mostly. “I got a little book club set up for Kara at the library.”
That makes Thane’s frown deepen even further. “Why would you do that?”
“Well, she’s bored out of her tits, so I told her and Emma that I’d put something together. You need to sign this.”
She shoves a piece of paper at him, which he takes, then retreats to the kitchen island, presumably to put some space between them.
“She needs a permission slip for books?”
“Such is the way of the world these days. I choose books that are age-appropriate, however, not everyone agrees that teenagers should be allowed to read love stories, or stories with biracial couples, anything to do with the LGBTQ community. Really, the list is extensive and completely ridiculous.”
“Why would anyone censor books?” His irritation makes his voice rougher.
“Bigotry is alive and well, my friend. They may hide behind keyboards or dress up in their Sunday best, but they’re still out there, spewing their venom as if it’s the truth.”
Sharky and I have had this conversation multiple times, so I know she’s passionate about it.
“Do you ban books at the library?” He crosses his arms as though she’s the enemy while Mrs. Perez hangs back, taking this all in. I’m sure the Scuttlebutts sent her here on a reconnaissance mission—probably because I haven’t set foot in town all week.
“Never.” Sharky actually gasps the word as if it’s the most obscene thing she’s ever heard. “But we do get the bad apples who like to black out things they deem inappropriate.” She glares at Mrs. Perez, who is suddenly very interested in my curtains.
“I did that one time, in one book.” Mrs. Perez pouts as she runs her fingers along the side of the navy fabric. “And only because Carla-Sue wrote in her trashy little memoir that I slept with her boyfriend in high school, and that was a bald-faced lie. We…what do the kids call it now? Smooshed. We smooshed—we did not have sex.”
“That is something I can never unhear. Does that happen often?” Thane shivers and attempts to keep his attention on Sharky, but his disgruntled gaze keeps flicking to Mrs. Perez.
“We lose about three thousand dollars a year in lost or damaged books.”
“Stay.” He stomps out of the room and up the stairs.
“Tone.” Mrs. Perez giggles like a schoolgirl as she says it.
“Does he talk to everyone like they’re a bad dog?” Sharky’s brow lifts, but she doesn’t appear the least bit offended.
“No. We were…”
“What’s the name of the library?” Thane stomps back down the stairs holding a checkbook.
“Ah, the Sweetbriar Public Library.” Sharky backs into the island as he approaches. He is more intimidating when he’s irritable.
He scribbles as he walks and nearly runs into her before realizing she’s moved. Lifting his head, he rips out a check and thrusts it at Sharky. I’m curious, and maybe a little nosy, so I lean in.
“Forty thousand dollars, Thane. What’s that for?” Her hand trembles as she stares at the piece of paper.
“Books. All the books. If books had been banned while I was homeschooled, I wouldn’t be where I am today. If someone had censored what I read when I read it, I wouldn’t be where I am today. No one should dictate what, when, or how anyone else obtains knowledge.”
“This is. It’s…” Sharky stumbles over her words as moisture pools at the corners of her eyes.
“Is it not enough?” He reopens his checkbook.
“No.” She nearly screams it. “This is…it’s just a lot, Thane. Are you sure? This is very generous.”
He nods as if he’s angry. “This is a personal donation. I’ll ensure that my foundation fulfills it yearly. They’ll also send new computers, as I assume those are out-of-date as well?”
She nods, my mouth hangs open, and Mrs. Perez sniffles.
“Why?” Sharky asks with uncharacteristic reserve.
“I donate to a lot of libraries all over the country. It wouldn’t make sense not to invest in the one where I live.” Always so pragmatic.
“Speaking of.” Mrs. Perez finally steps away from the wall. “Boone was down at the hardware store. Said that house of yours is one problem away from a tear down.”
Sharky instantly stiffens at Boone’s name.
“Yes.” That’s my guy, a man of many words.
“So…y’all are just…” No one can fish for information like Mrs. Perez.
“We’re figuring it out day by day,” I say.
“Living together,” Thane says at the same time.
“Mm-hmm.” Mrs. Perez hides her mouth behind her hand, but I know there’s some sort of smug happiness hiding under there. “Good to hear. Well, we’ll just be getting out of your hair then.” She opens my front door, but before she can walk outside, Sharky throws herself at Thane.
Panic floods his face, draining it of all color as he holds his arms rigidly at his sides.
“Thank you. You have no idea how much this will mean to the community,” she says into his chest.
“Don’t forget Kara’s permission slip.” He shimmies his shoulders, attempting to break free, but I swear she hugs him harder.
His expression is full of fear when I catch his eye and almost laugh. “This is a really big deal,” I say calmly. “The library has been struggling to get funding from the state for three years.”
His face morphs into hard angles, but now I know this is what he does when he’s debating something in his mind. His brows furrow together, and his gaze darts left to right as though he’s speed-reading. When Sharky finally pulls away, he takes three quick steps back.
“I’ll come down to the library later in the week. If you’d like to show me your financials and any proposals you may have, I’ll get you straightened out.”
Sharky and Mrs. Perez both gasp, and Sharky jerks as though she’s going to ram him with another giant hug, but he’s faster and escapes behind the island with his hands up.
“It’s not a big deal.” He grunts, then turns to me for help.
“It is though,” I say. “Do you know how many people this will help?”
His green gaze studies me for a long moment, before he finally nods.
“I’ll be in on Wednesday. No more hugging.” He points his finger at Sharky.
For once, she doesn’t have a smart comeback. “Deal.” She holds up the check. “I’m going to get this into the bank before you change your mind.” She practically runs from the room as though she stole the check, and Mrs. Perez follows her out with a wave.
“I’m not going to change my mind.” He shakes his head and then sits at the island, studying their movements as though he’s afraid they’ll turn around at any moment.
When the front door clicks shut behind them, I join Thane in the kitchen.
“That was a really nice thing you did.”
He attempts not to acknowledge me.
“And what you’re offering me is also very generous. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. No one has ever tried to help me without wanting something in return before, unless you count my brother, and he’s so deep in his own company right now, he wouldn’t even know what to do with me.”
“He’s supposed to protect you.” He sounds petulant now, and my heart softens a little more for him.
“He did. For a long time, he did. Then I realized that if I couldn’t save myself, no one else ever truly could either.”
“I can.”
My heart uses my lungs as punching bags because I know he means it.
“I know you want to try, but you also understand that while I appreciate and acknowledge that I need your help, I also need to find a way to do this where my boyfriend isn’t bailing me out.”
“What the hell good is being your boyfriend if I can’t fix all your problems?”
Heat radiates from my soul for this complicated man.
“What I want in a boyfriend is someone who supports me, encourages me, and holds me when I fail. Because the truth is, you can’t have success without failure. You know that as well as, if not better than, me. I’m not afraid to fail. But I am afraid to fail alone.”
He moves lightning-fast, dragging me from my stool and depositing me in his lap as he sits on the sofa.
“You’re not alone. We’re ninety-nine point seven percent perfection.” He says it so earnestly, and with so much devotion, I actually believe him.
“Yeah, we are.”
“We still need to go to this event. It will show your father that you’re not afraid of him, and it will show anyone else who tries to penetrate your security that you aren’t going to be pushed around. It’s time for you to take center stage, sweetheart, and burn the competition to the ground. I’ll hold your hand as you take the stairs, then hand you the matches, if that’s what you need.”
In his own, complicated way, Thane Wilder just gave me everything I’ve ever wanted—and a person to call my own, but something about his declaration isn’t sitting right with me.
My stomach plummets when I realize what it is.
How did he know someone is actively hacking into my company?
I stare into his eyes, searching for any sign of betrayal, but can’t find a single trace of anything but devotion—to me.
Perhaps he found something else when he went through my mail—a sticky note I left on my desk—or an email I left open. For all I know I spilled my guts to him while out of my mind with fever.
No.
There are a million possible explanations.
He’s a brilliant man who continues to prove that he’s firmly in my corner, so I really need to stop pushing my daddy issues onto him.
Thane is not my father—he’s not like most men I’ve ever met either.
Thane is exactly who he says he is, and it’s time I started listening.