Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
THANE
“Have you packed yet?”
I drag myself away from my computer screen, blinking a few times to bring the room into focus. Lottie stands in the doorway, staring at me expectantly. There’s a large gap of time missing in her files, and I’m driving myself mad trying to find out why.
“Ah.” I run my palm through my hair and tug on the back of my neck. “Mostly. I have everything I’ll need in New York too.”
She plucks her lip as she stares at me. “You still have a place in New York?”
“The decision to move here was…” I smile even though it might irritate her, or maybe because I know it will. “It all happened pretty quickly.”
Pushing away from the desk, I pluck a sleeping Hercules out of my lap and put her on the floor.
“She’s spoiled.”
I shrug. I’ll never admit it, but petting Hercules’s soft fur soothes me almost as well as pacing does. Unfortunately, the ratdog has also made me more aware of how often my muscles are a tense wall of protection.
“The shelter has room for her starting next week.” My heart beats loudly in my ears, but I’m not sad about that piece of news—I’m simply preoccupied with Lottie’s lawsuit problem, ensuring Kara’s happiness, and playing Whac-A-Mole, because my father is a bigger piece of shit than even I realized.
Lottie’s mouth falls open. It’s surprise, I think, but I actively avoid eye contact.
“You’re going to give her up?”
“She’s not mine.” I shrug to release the tension that lifts my shoulders toward my ears. “I just didn’t want her to die, so I held on to her. She should be with a family who knows what to do with her.”
“Right. Interesting that she hasn’t screamed or yipped at you lately.”
I huff. “She still honks. Yips? Whatever, she just behaves like a fucking lady now and does it more quietly.”
“A lady, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Well, we know how much you love the…ladies in your life.”
I cross the room in two long strides. “I also love when one of my ladies is a dirty beggar.”
Her cheeks flush crimson, and I imagine us revisiting our time in the lake last week.
“I’m ready.” Kara bounces into the room. If I had to describe her pre-Sweetbriar, I would have said a girl on the verge of joining a goth gang. But Sweetbriar Kara is, well, for lack of a better term, sweet. She’s lighter, and she smiles now instead of glaring—that changes everything.
“Are you excited to go back to North Carolina?” Lottie asks, sidestepping my grabby hands reaching for her hips.
“Yeah. I mean, we didn’t really spend much time there last time, but I liked Seren, and we’ve kept up on Snapchat.”
Lottie tilts her face to take me in as I loom over her. “Seren is Sebastian Walker’s daughter. Remember?”
Unfortunately, I do. That kid is bad news. She’s the one who was playing all the pranks on the nannies.
“Stop scowling, Brad. She was going through some really tough stuff with her mom. It doesn’t mean she’s a bad person.” Why is it so funny when Kara scolds me now? Maybe because her words are no longer sharpened with poison tips?
“Kara, she dyed people red. Grown women looked as though they’d exited a massacre.” How does that not constitute a bad kid?
“I have to agree with Kara on this one,” Lottie says. “Seren was struggling. Rowan said she’s come a long way, and it’s good for Kara to have some friends with similar…struggles.”
My finger rises in Kara’s direction as though I have no control of it. It definitely resembles a dad move, so I fully embrace it. “If that kid gets you arrested, I will clear out all her father’s assets, then hack the police station and put out an arrest warrant for her father, so ensure that you make good choices around her. No peer pressure.”
Kara’s mouth hangs open. “Can you do that?”
I try not to. I prefer to stay on the right side of the law, but there’s nothing I can’t do with a computer. Telling her that is certainly less fatherly though, so I keep it to myself.
“Do not test me on this, Kara.” The finger is waggling at her. It’s oddly cathartic. “If she tries to rope you into doing something you know is wrong, you’d better walk away.”
“Geez, Brad. She’s a thirteen-year-old girl whose mother had an affair in front of her entire school. Cut her a little break, would ya?”
Fair point. But still, my priority is Kara.
“Yoo-hoo, we’re here,” Mrs. Perez calls up the stairs. Lottie removed the new lock on her office after I complained about having to go up and down the stairs to let the Scuttlebutts in every half an hour.
Find the Scuttlebutt Society their own office space. I do appreciate that my narrator and I are on the same page more often than not here in Sweetbriar.
I would have preferred to take Hercules with us to New York, but Lottie said it wouldn’t be fair to subject her to the flight. More likely, she was worried that Hercules would disrupt the other passengers, but I know she would’ve been fine.
Now I’m stuck with Mrs. Perez staying in our space to dog sit. I can already imagine her grubby peanut butter fingers all over my shit.
Kara picks up Hercules and walks her down the stairs. “My suitcase is in my room.”
“Maybe Kara could use some independence training from you,” I grumble.
Lottie’s eyes heat in the way that make my balls lift high and tight. “Are you sure about that, Thane?”
I swallow hard as she rakes a fingernail down my chest.
“Remember how well this independent woman follows directions…when she wants to.” She cups my cock with an evil grin.
“Yeah, never mind.” I’m not even sure what we’re talking about anymore.
“I do like having a boss in the bedroom.” Her face is tilted toward the ceiling as though she’s considering her words. “But I’m glad to see I haven’t lost my touch out of the bedroom too.” She presses one hard squeeze into my aching dick and then flees the room, leaving me with a raging hard-on.
“That’s payback for the lake,” she calls over her shoulder. Her feet thump down the stairs too quickly.
“Slow down before you break your neck.”
“Yes, sir .” Her voice changes on the word sir and my cock that was previously at half-mast now tents my trousers like a steel beam.
Payback. Oh, sweet, misguided Charlotte. Two can play this game.
“You coming, Thane? Mr. Carver’s waiting to take you to the airport.” Thank you, Mrs. Perez, for killing my boner in record time.
Sliding everything from my desk into my backpack, I walk into Kara’s room to grab her suitcase and freeze.
On her wall are photos hanging by clips that are attached to tiny lights. Photos of her with Rafe and Lottie. Photos with her friends at library. Even a selfie she took next to me while we were watching a movie. Lottie’s leaning forward and smiling straight into the camera.
I hadn’t known she’d taken it, but the smile on Kara’s face as she peers over her shoulder at me hits me square in the chest.
She’s staring at me like she loves me too. Like she’s happy, but most importantly, she’s the most content I’ve ever seen her.
Did I do this? Did I give this to her?
“Brad!”
Removing the photo of us from the wall, I slip it into my shirt pocket, then lift her suitcase, and leave the room.
This is us, all of us, exactly as we’re meant to be—together.
* * *
We enter the outdoor pavilion a few minutes late. People are sitting everywhere, but Lottie drags me toward the front. I hated this kiddie camp the last time I was here. It’s marginally better this time, and that’s only because I’m not chasing after Lottie. She’s here with me.
Why the hell couldn’t we have found a nice place to sit in the back, away from all these assholes?
A kid stands on stage doing a comedy bit that lacks humor. I almost pity him, but he owns every word and somehow is making it work.
I settle in next to a dad who’s holding a toddler in his lap, and even though I should be watching the stage, I find myself staring at the kid, waiting for the goo to escape.
Three performances later, and the child next to me still hasn’t exorcised any demons from its mouth or diaper.
I wasn’t around much when Kara was this age. My father was afraid she’d catch my…odd tendencies. It wasn’t until she started walking, and after her mother had run off, that I made more of an effort to be in the same room as her.
But I do remember the first time I saw her. She was about three days old. I was leaving my father’s apartment on the Upper East Side to go to Brooklyn to buy some old pieces of a motherboard I needed for my latest experiment when they’d come home from the hospital.
Kara smiled, big and gummy at me as though I were her own personal sunshine. No one had ever looked at me like that before. Her mother said she couldn’t actually see me, and that it was just gas, but I still don’t believe that.
When I returned home, I had a yellow Care Bear with me, and I set it on a shelf in her room while they were out.
I didn’t want anything to do with her per se, but it felt right giving her something. It felt important that she knew I was there.
Lottie stands next to me, cheering loudly, and I fight the urge to flinch while also wanting to cover the child’s ears. How irresponsible of this asshole dad that he didn’t do it himself.
There’s applause all around us, and a girl Kara’s age is on stage with Rowan. Thankfully, I missed the entire show, lost in thoughts of my past that don’t make me want to burn something down.
“Ready?” Lottie smiles up at me. Kara’s next to her, wearing a matching expression, and something shifts in my chest.
It might be a heart attack, or at least what I expect a heart attack to feel like. But I nod and usher them out of the row ahead of me.
The sensations in my chest don’t lessen as we head toward Sebastian and Rowan’s home. It doesn’t ease when Lottie sits next to the fire, chatting with her friend. And it certainly doesn’t fade when Kara throws her head back and laughs next to Seren.
I stand on the periphery of their lives, watching and learning. I’m not lonely, and I’m not sad, but I am here. I’m present, and that’s more alive than any other day I’ve ever lived.
This kind of social gathering may never be my scene, but I’ll show up. I’ll be part of their lives, and I’ll do whatever’s necessary to give them any good pieces of myself I can dig up. They’re worth that and so much more.
“Wilder.” My shoulders tense when someone steps up beside me. After two long breaths, I shift my head to acknowledge them. It’s Becker Hayes. We exist in similar economic circles, but that’s the extent of our acquaintance, as far as I’m concerned.
“Not really your scene, huh?”
Please, Lord. Spare me the small talk.
I grunt in response. It’s usually enough to have people move along, but Becker is apparently hell-bent on a conversation.
“Wasn’t mine either, but it grows on you.”
“What does?” Shit. Spending so much time with my girls makes small talk almost involuntary.
Becker points around at the small gathering with a bottle of beer in his hands. “Family. We’re not so different, you know. Last year, I took custody of my two very young nieces. Stepping into fatherhood without any experience is a complete and total mindfuck.”
Against my better judgment, I snort, the sound a mix of frustration and a laugh.
I’ve never been an insecure person. Growing up knowing that everyone calls you a freak tends to give you a pretty thick skin, but the acidity settling in the back of my throat has me wondering if I’m experiencing it now.
“How did you know you could do it—take them in and not fuck them up?” I finally ask.
The air shifts, as if he shrugged next to me. “I didn’t, and I still don’t. But I know that me giving them a hundred percent of my effort was better than five percent of someone else’s. I also knew the moment I held them that I would burn the entire world to the ground to keep them safe, so, you know, that made the decision easy for me.”
“Safety is important, and a constant job.”
“True. The best you can do in this scenario is ask yourself, do you believe that your kind of fucked-up is better than the alternative? If the answer is yes, then you know what you have to do.”
I know I’m better for Kara than my father, and I know I’ll try harder for Lottie than anyone else. Admitting that quiets some of the questions my narrator has been plaguing me with lately.
Am I supposed to thank Becker Hayes? Luckily, he fills the silence, and I don’t have to answer that.
“Come join us.” He points to a table with a few men sitting around, talking and laughing. I’d rather rake my nails down tree bark. “No pressure, but Sebastian and even Leo all have experiences worth knowing. The best we can do as guardians is learn from each other.”
“I’ll think about it.”
He lifts his hand as though he’s going to clap me on the back, then lowers it without touching me, which I’m grateful for. I’m on edge enough as it is.
“The offer stands today, tomorrow, or next year. Parenting is hard, Thane. But I admire a man who steps up to a challenge he feels ill-equipped for. In my experience, that usually means you’re doing life right.”
I stare straight ahead, and he leaves me to join the group of men. I’m transfixed by how easily he settles into the conversation as I study the interaction from man to man.
I’m not sure how long I stand to the side, but eventually, the sway of Lottie’s hips hypnotizes me as she walks through the party with me in her sights.
There’s something different in her posture. She’s not running, but there’s an energy in her that’s firing off electric currents the closer she gets.
“Everything okay?” If Rowan did something to upset my woman, there will be repercussions.
“Rowan’s in love.”
My initial response is so fucking what? , but I keep it to myself. What do you say in this situation? Congrats? Lottie’s not in love with them. It’s best if I keep my mouth closed.
“So she doesn’t want to oversee the expansion of the hotline into Europe.” Her posture curls inward, and she stares at the ground.
Rowan is an asshole. Nope, also not something Lottie would appreciate.
“But she does want to help in any way that she can from here, and that sent my mind whirling in a new direction.” She tilts her face to mine, and it’s like being shot in the fucking heart.
Note to self, when in doubt of an appropriate response, say nothing, and Lottie will fill in the blanks. It might be a safe rule to follow in many situations going forward.
“Maybe it’s not the time to go international,” she says. “Originally, it was the logical next step, you know. Au pairs are still big business. But with my father pushing for the injunction?—”
“Which he will not get.”
Her eyes soften in a way I really like because it only happens for me.
“Hopefully. Hopefully he won’t succeed. But to ensure that the hotline doesn’t get shut down, I can hand it all over to Rowan with a temporary contract to use the software for the hotline. Well, assuming I can get the injunction thrown out quickly.”
“No.”
“No.” She takes a step away from me, rests her hands on her hips, and widens her stance as she glares at me. “What do you mean, no? You really have no say here, Thane.”
“I mean, no, that’s too risky. How do you know you can even trust her?”
Her eyes soften again. That’s a win for me.
“Would you trust Rafe with something like this?”
“That’s different. I’ve known him since college.”
“It’s not different, and I have also known Rowan since college. She’s smart, and capable, and it’s not forever. It’s a temporary fix, so my father can’t take this away from me. It also takes the stress off my back. If Rowan is running things, I know that all the single parents will be taken care of in the way I would have done it.”
“It’s still risky.”
“Life is risky, Thane. Business is risky. You know what’s not risky?”
Silence is your friend here, Thane.
“Rowan is not a risk. She’s a safe bet.”
“But what will this fix?”
“If I know Rowan is taking care of the hotline, then I can shift my focus to all the other shit you rambled off. All the ways in which my test and algorithm can help people. I admit, I never saw beyond my own nose, but now you’ve opened my mind to new possibilities, and I agree with you. I know I can help more than single dads.”
“You still need the technology. Are you going to let me help you with that?”
She shifts her weight. It’s the same thing Kara does when she doesn’t want to answer something. Is that the universal I don’t want to talk about it signal?
“I do need help, and it kills me to admit that, but it’s still not a good idea to tie ourselves together romantically and professionally. I won’t look weak in front of my peers, and having you bail me out is the equivalent of sleeping with the boss to get ahead.”
Red fills my vision. I take her elbow and guide her closer to the beach. I fucking hate the beach. Sand gets everywhere, but we need more privacy, and Rowan is shooting eyeball lasers in my direction from her spot in front of the firepit.
“I’m not willing to give you up, Charlotte. And if you think I’m going to allow you to get into bed, even professionally, with someone I know isn’t as good as me, you can think again.”
She pokes me hard in the chest. I barely register it, but when she shakes out her hand as though it hurt, I sigh, take her hand in mine, and massage the offended appendage.
“You do not get to allow or disallow anything, Thane.”
“You’re not going to work with someone who isn’t the best. I’m the best. I can give you everything your company will need.”
“Listen to me, Thane. Millions of companies are thriving using other people’s technology. I know you’re the best at what you do—I’m not debating that. What I am telling you is I’ve seen too many companies get into contracts with each other only to have strong, unbreakable relationships shatter when the business doesn’t thrive. Look at Sebastian and his ex-partner. Not only did he try to sabotage Seb’s company, he slept with his wife. That’s not something I’m willing to risk with you. So you can either have me as your woman, or you can have me as your business partner, but you can’t have both.”
“I can, you just won’t let me. And Sebastian’s partner was a twat. Seriously, did you meet him?” I take a step forward until we’re nearly touching. “And most importantly, I would never, ever cheat on you. In love, life, or business.”
“Tone.” Her nostrils are flaring, and my chest is heaving.
Over her head, I catch Rowan’s eye. She stands with her hands on her hips as her toe taps against the ground. Sebastian, the dick, stands behind her, staring at me as though he’s about to march down here himself.
I breathe in until my lungs burn, then I slowly release it through my nose. I do it again, and one more time for good measure, while Lottie stands before me, the picture of calm elegance.
“You and me are all in.”
She presses her hand to my chest, right above my heart.
“We are.”
This is why humans are so frustrating. We’re all in, forever. So what the hell does it matter if we work, live, and love together? If the business fails, we’ll build a new one. But nothing having to do with me and Lottie will ever fail. I won’t allow it.
“We’re all in…” Her voice is whisper soft. “So I know that you will help me choose the right fit. You won’t allow me to be taken advantage of. You’ll do this for me because you love me, and you want what’s best for me, and what’s best for me is knowing that I can do this on my own without someone bailing me out. I don’t want to be the kind of woman my father always said I was—someone whose place in life is to be a trophy that her husband parades around because being pretty is her only valuable commodity. I want to be pretty and parade the motherfucking trophy that I earned around myself, Thane.”
She’s already the trophy, the medal of honor, the queen, and she doesn’t even see it.
“Can you do that?” Her voice is a hushed whisper that nearly gets swept away on the sea breeze.
“Can I be your trophy husband?”
She laughs, and all the lines around her face disappear.
I pull her close and hold her tightly against my chest.
“I’ll be your trophy husband, Charlotte. And I’ll be your support beam while you build your house of cards. And then I’ll stand by your side while you cement those cards in place. You’re a queen, sweetheart, you deserve to shine.”
“It feels like there’s a but coming.”
I squeeze her a little more tightly. I love that she knows me so well—no one has ever even tried before.
“Oh, there’s a giant but coming.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Allow me to supervise the tech team.”
She starts shaking her head against my chest, but this isn’t something I can back down from. I’ve been in her systems—I know how weak her firewalls are. I know where the vulnerabilities are and how to fix them.
“Hear me out. I only ask that you consider it. What you’re doing, and the potential you have for people of all abilities, could be life-changing in ways you can’t begin to imagine. This is personal for me as much as it is for you. I won’t have a hand in anything else. My name won’t be on any documents, but I want to make sure that whoever is handling this for you doesn’t miss anything. It’s too important, Charlotte. So please, for me, at least consider it.”
She sighs into me, and her body deflates. It’s the first battle in a war I know is brewing. “I’ll think about it. But let’s table this for tonight, okay? I’m exhausted. Let’s grab Kara and head back to the hotel. Sebastian and Rowan want us to come by tomorrow before we leave, and I need to put my proposal together for her. All my plans hinge on her agreeing to take over the hotline.”
It’s not a no, so I do as she asks and keep the rest of my questions to myself. For now. “Sure, sweetheart. I’ll grab Kara.”
“Thanks.” She kisses my chest, that spot above my heart, and marks it as her own.
Taking her hand, I walk us through the throngs of people, knowing we have a long night ahead of us, and I still haven’t proved that Lottie’s program is her own.
I have to fix this, otherwise her house of cards will crumble before she even has a chance to lay the foundation.