Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
THANE
I’m smiling at Weston Westbrook, actually smiling at a stranger. His poor parents set him up for ridicule with that name, but perhaps I’m missing something since the father said they adopted him.
If they filled these events with people like Weston, I might actually attend more.
“You have a superfan,” Lottie whispers to my left.
My cheeks ache. Who knew you used so many muscles to smile?
“We have a very special guest here tonight to introduce this year’s Advancement in Technology award.” The emcee could stand to turn his microphone down by at least half.
Movement at the corner of the stage catches my attention, and the man walking with a swagger I know all too well sucks all the oxygen from the room.
“No.” The word leaves my chest like an exorcism. He shouldn’t be here. Why wasn’t I notified? I’m going to kill my attorney.
“I’m so glad I could be here after a…shall we say, unfortunate misunderstanding.”
Misunderstanding? He nearly killed a family in a crosswalk when he blew through a red light, not to mention put his own daughter at risk. How is that a misunderstanding?
“My son has always…thought outside the box, though I do hope his younger sister will learn to color a little more inside the lines.”
Silence. No one laughs. No one claps.
Lottie presses on my fingertips. Fuck. I’m crushing her hand, but I can’t let it go either. It’s the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.
“Thane had the option of joining me at JW Tech. Unfortunately for us both, his unorthodox working styles weren’t a match for my company, and I knew that if I handed him everything from the start, he wouldn’t be able to thrive.”
Is he trying to take credit for my success right now?
“Thane has never been a man of many words, so I’m thankful I get to be here to share in his success with you all tonight. He’s said many times that he wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d coddled him.” He points to the young Westbrook, and I’m filled with rage. It eases slightly when Weston’s father wraps an arm protectively around him. “Let this be a lesson for the younger generations. You may not understand your parents’ ways, but if you trust the process?—”
“No you don’t, motherfucker.” Lottie’s words catch me off guard, and I spin in time to witness her literally preparing to fight my father.
She’s about to go into battle with him—for me.
The rage of a moment ago is replaced with something I’ve never had before—all-consuming love and admiration.
Love for this woman who is ready to go to war with a man she’s never met. Love for a sister I can’t imagine living without. Love for the family we’re creating together. Love for children like Weston and me, and all the others like us who don’t have someone fighting for us.
And it’s with love that I stand, prepared to win this war.
“It’s okay.” My hands stay on Lottie’s shoulders, even after I get her back in her chair. I allow her energy, her passion, her confidence to filter into my body before I slowly make my way to the stage.
Jonah stands, holding the mic with a perfected smile that fools most, but what they don’t see is the malice that motivates him.
I’ve always seen it. Perhaps it’s time the world saw it too.
I don’t know what his plan is here tonight, but I have no doubt it’s something to fuck with me and my company. Whatever is up his sleeve will never touch me or those I love.
I won’t allow it.
“Thane and I have been playing a little game with his girlfriend, Charlotte. Haven’t we, Thane?”
My hands ball into fists as uncontrollable rage bursts the volcano in my chest. I’ll be on him in ten more steps to shut him the fuck up.
“Hackers are a real problem in today’s world, aren’t they, Charlotte? You just never know who you can trust, who is out to steal your property, and who is simply out to ruin you. But hey, that’s why we’re here, right? Advancements in technology are all around us.”
I step into his space before he can spew any other pain. To anyone on the outside, it would appear to be a father wrapping his son in a congratulatory embrace, but I know better, and I hold myself still, waiting for him to drop his bomb.
“My attorney will be in touch tomorrow regarding Kara. Such a shame she’s about to lose you and Lottie, not that I care, of course.” His sneer shows violent intent as he pats me on the back with the force of a linebacker. I’m sure he was hoping to knock me off-balance, but I’ve learned to love the gym since leaving his home, and he’ll never push me around again.
“She’s simply a pawn in my game. I always told you that life was a chess match, and if you didn’t get on the board, you’d be swept away like the piece of fucked-up trash that you are. Sweep, sweep. As for poor Charlotte, I know it was you kicking me out of her network, so I made sure to leave a trail. If you even think about taking me down for that, you’ll go down with me.”
He steps back, his politician’s face back in place.
It’s something I’ve never been able to master.
I search the crowd for Lottie. I’ve learned what the lines around her eyes mean when she’s happy and when she’s pissed off. I’ve learned that her lips curl just a touch higher on the right side of her face when she’s truly happy.
And I’ve learned that love looks like a fierce lioness when provoked, and that’s the energy she’s projecting now. I allow it to center me, even if her rage is split between my father and me at the moment.
She’ll understand as soon as I’m able to explain.
When I blink, the little Westbrook in the front row gives me a thumbs-up with one hand. He’s recording me on his phone with the other. I decide to focus on him in order to get through this. That’s why I’m here after all, to make the world better for kids of all abilities, and what I have to do settles over me with the calmness of Charlotte wrapping herself around all my fears and insecurities.
“Thank you, Jonah,” I say into the microphone. “I wasn’t aware that almost murdering an entire family by nearly running them over on a crosswalk while intoxicated was now considered a misunderstanding. A fifth DUI sounds like a choice to me, but I’ve never been arrested, so what do I know?”
A few uncomfortable chuckles come from the tables.
“My name is Thane Wilder, and I’m different.” I allow the silence to become unbearable as I scan the room. “It’s uncomfortable to hear, right?” I don’t look at anyone but Weston. “To hear that someone with my level of success might learn differently than you. Or that the way I view the world is a vastly different experience than the person next to me. You see the light that’s beating down on me right now? It hits my skin like a billion tiny needles. Now imagine trying to stand in a room with three hundred people staring at you to give a speech while you’re poked and prodded by an invisible threat. It sounds like an insurmountable task, doesn’t it?”
Weston says yes. I can’t hear his words over my own heartbeat, but I know he’s feeling seen in this moment, and it strengthens my determination.
Jonah takes a step back into the shadows, obviously unsure of where I’m going. I’m sure he expected me to stand up here and show the world that I’m incompetent. After all, that’s how he’s always viewed me.
But not today.
“Oh, Jonah. Don’t leave the stage yet. You were so quick to take credit for my success, so please, stay in the spotlight you adore so much while I finish my speech.”
His fists clench as a second spotlight is added to highlight him next to me.
“Jonah decided early on in my life that I was broken. When I didn’t experience the world as his carbon copy, he hid me away.”
“That’s enough.” Unfortunately for Jonah, he no longer has a microphone.
“When outside stimuli became too much, I’d throw my hands over my ears, bang my head against the wall, pace and tap my fingers, searching for a way to soothe the constant attacks on my body. Jonah, would you like to tell the crowd your favorite nickname for me?”
He doesn’t come forward.
“Oh, that’s right. That particular word isn’t socially acceptable unless it’s hurled at your seven-year-old in the privacy of your own home, right?
“I don’t think anyone here would argue that growing up is difficult in the most average of situations. But now imagine going through puberty alone because hanging out with kids your own age physically hurts. The sounds of the mall are amplified by a thousand, or too many people talking at once sounds like a dump truck being swallowed by a garbage disposal.”
I glance around the room, suddenly aware that I have everyone’s rapt attention. When the panic starts in my fingertips, I find my way back to the little boy, who hasn’t stopped nodding his head since I began speaking.
“I didn’t have the support I needed growing up. Hell, I didn’t have support at all. That’s why now, at thirty-two years old, I have people monitoring me, yelling out the word ‘tone’ when I forget to soften my voice. Not because I want to yell at everyone, but because I don’t hear tone the same way most of you do. I hear the words, I understand the words, I internalize the words, and then I take action. The emotion behind the words is something I work at every time I open my mouth.
“That’s why I appreciate the opportunity to be here tonight, not only to accept this award on behalf of all of those who are different, but because I’m thrilled to announce new advancements that will help people of all abilities in so many facets of life, I couldn’t begin to name them all. In partnership with Charlotte Sinclair.” But when I look at our table, she isn’t in her seat.
I scan the table and the one next to it, in front of it and behind it, before shifting to the edge of the room, then the back of the room in an effort to put eyes on her.
Someone claps, probably unsure if I’m finished or not.
“Ah, in partnership with Charlotte Sinclair, we’ll endeavor to make life a little easier, regardless of the kind of support you have at home.” Where is she? “We live in a time where online relationships take precedence over real-life interactions, and it’s our hope that we’ll be able to bridge the already wide gap in social norms for people of all abilities. Thank you.”
Someone hands me a trophy shaped like a phallic crystal as I’m ushered off stage.
“I’ll sue you for defamation, you ungrateful piece of shit.” Jonah’s voice barely registers.
I drop the trophy off in front of Weston as I frantically scan the room. Now that the lights aren’t blinding me, I find Lottie along the back wall, standing in a semi-circle with two other men.
One of them I recognize as her father, the other has his back to me.
Fuck. How did she end up over there?
I cut through the tables as people try to glad-hand me and give perfunctory words of congratulations, but I ignore them all.
Lottie’s face is pale, and she’s clutching her fists to her stomach as if she might be sick. Her father’s face is twisted into a cruel snarl as whatever he says causes Lottie to take a step backward.
And when the third person in their trio spins to face the room, the floor falls out from under me.
He knows the second we make eye contact that he’s fucked up too. He didn’t expect me to be here, and I’m sure he had planned to slip out of this conversation before I reached them, but he should have known that nothing would tie me up. Not when Lottie wasn’t in my line of vision.
The soon-to-be dead man formerly known as Roger quickly makes an escape as Lottie and her father turn to me in slow-motion.
“I can explain.” The words are loud enough to cause everyone in a ten-foot radius to tune in to our conversation.
“Is it true?” Lottie’s voice cracks, right along with my heart.
“It’s not the same.”
“Is it true?” She seethes. “Are you behind LotiTech Industries? Have you been hacking into my company?”
I nod, and she takes another step back, her fists pressing into her belly as though punched.
“It’s not the same.” Tell her. Tell her how you shut down the acquisition plan after you met her. Tell her how your entire plan changed when you fell in love with her. Tell her you bought the companies she thought were investors because they were companies puppeteered by your father. Tell her you fixed her security so he couldn’t hurt her. Tell her you’d never use her this way.
“Nev-sam-her.” My words smash together in an incoherent word vomit.
Shaking my head, I try again with the same outcome.
No. Not now, Thane. Just spit it out. Say what you mean. Say it. Say it.
SAY IT.
When my words won’t come, I step forward. She holds her hands up to stop me.
“I told you, little girl.” Her father’s condescending words don’t appear to faze her. “No one is coming to save your little company. No one is going to help you out of the goodness of their heart. If you’d stuck to the plan, you’d be married by now, popping out little brats and securing your future. Now you’ve squandered your inheritance on something too far out of your pay grade, and you’ll be left with nothing.”
When she invades his space like a conquering warrior, I realize I was wrong. Unlike me, she can multitask.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she says cooly. “I’ve already made a deal with the Fitzgerald Group. Even if you tie me up in courts for years, you’ll never get your hands on what I’ve built. And that trust fund you’re so proud of flinging around? I’ve never touched it. Not one dime.”
I’ve failed her in so many ways. I still haven’t proven that she built her company on her own time. I didn’t come clean about LotiTech. I spent too much time basking in the glory of outmaneuvering my father to tell her what I’d done. But worst of all, I haven’t done anything I promised to do.
When her watery gaze finds mine with venom behind the pain, I know she’s lost all trust in me.
I’ve never failed before, but I just failed the most important test of my life, and we both know it.
“I guess I’ll see you in court then, dear daughter.”
Charlotte walks away, and I spin on her piece of shit excuse for a dad. “Take her to court, old man. Do it. I dare you. Because I can promise you, you’ll like the outcome about as much as Jonah’s going to.”
His gaze immediately darts to where Jonah stands on the other side of the room.
“The two of you should have never involved me or Lottie in your petty wars and malevolent games. Now that you have, your demise is imminent. The judge will throw out the injunction Monday morning. Think very carefully about how you proceed next because every attack you start, I’ll hit you back with a thousand times more power. Only an idiot would test me on this.”
He chuckles, but it’s skittish-sounding even to my ears. He knows I don’t make idle threats.
Companies are going to fall, men are going to crumble, and the war I’ll wage won’t come anywhere near Lottie ever again.
* * *
I followed her out of the banquet room to the lobby of the hotel and then lost her. I’ve called her three times, and she pushes me to voicemail each time.
Where the fuck did she go?
Me: Charlotte, where are you? We have to talk about this.
(Message read)
I stare at the screen in disbelief. The dots indicating she’s responding never appear.
Me: You can’t just go running out into New York City.
(Message read)
Descending the steps, I scan the street in both directions. Luxury town cars line the road, all mirror images of the one in front of it. Starting with the car in front, I jog down the line, searching for the one with my name on it.
I find it about halfway down, but Lottie isn’t inside.
The volcano in my chest is well past the point of erupting. The lava that overflows burns my insides and sits like rocks in my throat.
Me: I need to know that you’re safe.
(Message read)
Finally, the dots appear, then stop, only to appear again.
Lottie: I’m safe but destroyed. Give me space, Thane.
Thane: Are you on your way back to the penthouse?
(Message read)
Thane: I’ll meet you there and explain.
(Message read)
Thane: I promise I can explain.
(Message unread)
It’s getting hard to breathe, so I fall into the town car and remove my tie. “Home.”
The driver nods, and I return to my phone. Unread.
Thane: Tell me you’re going home so I don’t have to worry about where you are.
(Message unread)
The phone case cracks in my hand, and I focus on counting before I hyperventilate. One, two, three, and four.
Make her listen.
She’ll understand.
Find the best family court attorney in the country.
Warn Kara about our asshole father.
Show Charlotte the documents that put all those investment companies into a trust with her name on them.
Charlotte.
It always comes back to Charlotte.
“Siri, what should a boyfriend do when he’s really, really fucked up?”