Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Jules
I was shaking as I dragged Tai out of the gallery, blood pounding in my ears and my breath coming in shaky pants as the full force of what I’d done hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’d stood up to Darius.
I’d looked Darius in the face and told him to get fucked.
I couldn’t believe I’d done it.
Oh God, what had I done?
“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you,” Tai said, putting his arm around me and pulling me against his chest. He smelled so good, and I wanted to bury my face into his neck, hiding myself away so I could forget about what I’d said.
My arm carrying my violin hung down by my side uncomfortably, but I didn’t want to move.
“Oh my God, what have I done?” I whispered. “I can’t believe I did that. I mean, I did, didn’t I? I told Darius to shove it in front of everyone.”
“Yeah, you did.”
I glanced up at Tai who was smiling and the pride on his face made some of my anxiety ease.
“I did. Holy shit, I really did.” I laughed, the sound bursting out of me like a river that had been trapped behind a dam, bringing with it a torrent of emotions and a flood of tears.
I didn’t know if I was happy, sad, overwhelmed, anxious, terrified, or overjoyed, but it felt like it might be a mixture of all of them.
“I’m so proud of you. That can’t have been easy, but you did it.”
“Hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I said through the tears, hiccupping slightly. “Did you see his face afterwards? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so shocked.”
“He probably didn’t expect you to do that.”
“I didn’t either. Thank you for being there with me and supporting me for the last few weeks while I figured this all out. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“No worries. It wasn’t exactly difficult,” he said. “You’re amazing, Jules. Like so fucking amazing it blows my mind. And I’m so glad you’re starting to see in yourself what I see in you, because you’re an incredible person and I want to be in your life for a long time if you’ll let me.”
“As a friend?” I asked before I could really think it through. But I’d never forgive myself if I let the moment pass me by without taking the leap. I’d done so many things I’d never thought I’d do already this evening, what was one more?
“Yeah, of course.”
“What about… if I asked for something more?”
Tai grinned. “Depends what you’re asking for. There’s a bit of a difference between a kiss and a kidney, although I’d give you both.”
I laughed again. Oh, I loved how he made me laugh. “I don’t need both, just a kiss. Please.”
“That’s easy then,” he said, his hand on my jaw as he drew my mouth towards his. “You can have as many as you want, baby.”
I melted into his arms as he kissed me, lips warm and soft and tasting vaguely of peppermint.
It was unlike any kiss I’d ever experienced, and in barely a moment it began to erase all the memories of Philip’s bad, sloppy, demanding ones.
If this was what kissing Tai was going to be like, then I wanted to do it every day for the rest of forever.
I forgot we were standing in the middle of the pavement until a car horn blared in the distance and made me jump. I stepped back, startled, and giggled when I realised what we’d been doing.
Tai smiled and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “I love it when you laugh,” he said. “It’s such a beautiful sound.”
“It’s easy around you,” I said. “I’ve never met anyone who makes me laugh the way you do.
” I sighed and leant against him at an angle, so I could tuck my violin against my thigh.
I wished I’d never brought it with me, just because now I had to lug it around for the rest of the night.
“Do you have any plans for your evening now that I’ve cut our adventure short?
I vaguely remember we said something about food?
Sorry, my brain has completely short-circuited.
I think I might need another kiss to reset. ”
“No plans, but I’d love to get food with you. Want to come back to mine and get a big, dirty pizza? We can crash, watch some TV, and I’ll give you all the kisses you want.”
“What about…” I bit my lip. “Would you want anything more?”
He shook his head and leant in to nudge my nose with his, kissing me with a smiling mouth.
“Not tonight. You’ve been through a lot and I don’t want to take advantage of you, not when you’re in a vulnerable emotional state.
But I’ll kiss you and you can sleep in my bed, if you want.
And I have a spare toothbrush you can use. Unless you need to get back to Cécile?”
“Actually, I do. She’s not used to being alone all night, but you could come back to mine if you want?
And we can get you a toothbrush on the way back.
There’s a really good pizza place not too far from me too.
We could order before we get on the Tube and it’ll be there about the same time we are,” I said, hoping he’d still want to spend the night with me despite the inconvenience.
But I was trying very hard not to apologise, because Cécile was important to me and I didn’t want her to suffer or get upset.
“Sounds good to me,” Tai said, stepping back and taking my hand. “I can’t wait to meet Cécile! Do you think she’ll like me? Is she very cuddly? I know some cats aren’t, but a mate of mine has one that constantly wants to be carried around like a baby.”
I smiled as we started walking towards the nearest Tube stop, my chest feeling lighter than it had in months. “She’s cuddly on her terms, so you have to wait for her to come to you. And if she gets bored, she’ll just wander off. She’s a queen, you see, and everyone else is merely a butler.”
Tai chuckled, swinging our hands slightly. “I can’t wait. I’ll practice my bow.” He pulled his phone out. “Which pizza shop am I looking for then? And how do you feel about a garlic marg?”
I woke up the next morning feeling more at peace than I had in a long time, possibly ever.
I stretched out in bed, my hand searching for Tai, but all I found was an empty mattress.
I sat up sharply, grogginess making my head spin.
Had Tai left already? I’d thought he was going to stay for breakfast.
I glanced at my phone and frowned when I realised it was already twenty past nine. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept so late. Recently, my anxiety about dealing with Darius and Philip had meant my sleep had been fragmented, so maybe this was a good sign.
Footsteps on the stairs made me turn my head towards the door, which squeaked open to reveal Tai standing there in one of my T-shirts and a pair of boxers.
His mohawk was squashed and rumpled, the green tips sticking out at various angles where he’d slept on it, but the gel was still trying to keep it in place and fighting a losing battle against gravity.
It almost made me want to laugh, but the butterflies in my chest made anything but staring impossible.
He was carrying a large mug of tea and wearing a fond smile, like he’d just seen something beautiful. I didn’t think anyone had ever looked at me like that before.
“Good morning,” he said. “Sleep well?”
“Like a log. I’m so sorry it’s so late, you should have woken me.”
“Fuck no, don’t apologise. You needed that sleep. Besides, nobody except me should be awake at half-five on a Saturday morning.” He smiled as he handed me the tea. “I hope that’s okay, I tried to remember how you told me you take it. If it’s complete piss let me know and I’ll make you another.”
“Thank you,” I said, taking the mug and sipping. It was a little sweet but not undrinkable, and the gesture more than made up for it having a bit too much sugar. Tai perched on the edge of the bed, watching me. “Did you sleep okay? I’m sorry you woke up so early, I hope you haven’t been bored.”
“I slept great. Your bed is really bloody comfortable. And don’t apologise, I’m always up at this time unless it’s snowing or pissing with rain.
I read for a bit then got up and went downstairs.
Cécile didn’t seem too impressed at being disturbed, but she did grace me with her presence for a bit until I told her I couldn’t give her breakfast ’cos I didn’t know what she had.
I hope you don’t mind, I went out into your garden too.
It’s gorgeous! You’ve got a great space out there. ”
“Thanks, but I can’t take credit for it,” I said. “My brother hired someone to do it when he bought the house.”
“Oh, that’s cool!”
“Yes, I’m very lucky. My brother is a professional rugby player and when my landlord kicked me out a few years ago, Bailey put the deposit down on this for me.
Technically he owns it and pays the mortgage, but I send him the money every month and pay the rest of the bills, and he’s happy for me to do whatever I want with it.
” I looked around the room, forever grateful that Bailey had come to my rescue.
“Sounds like the perfect brother,” Tai said.
“Mostly. Although I’m not sure if his reasons were entirely altruistic.
I think he was afraid I’d move in with Darius and he hated that idea, so it was more ‘you’re moving here and that prick isn’t’.
” I chuckled, remembering the way Bailey had muttered about installing some sort of security that would zap Darius if he tried to set foot in the front door.
Rachel had talked him down, but only just. Mostly because that sort of thing only existed in sci-fi movies, at least to my knowledge.
“Anyway,” I continued. “He had the garden landscaped because it was a mess, but I really have no idea what I’m doing, so some advice would be very welcome. And maybe some supervision so I don’t totally destroy it.”
“I’d be very happy to teach you.”
I grinned and edged a little closer towards him, tea still in hand. “Good, I think I’ll need a lot of instruction.”
He plucked the mug from me and put it on the bedside table.
I climbed into his lap, feeling the warm weight of his thighs under mine as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I’d never felt so confident with a partner before, but the way Tai looked at me made it feel like I could fly to the moon on a pair of paper wings.
“Hello,” he said, with a sly smile as his hands found my waist. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so. It’s been far too long since I kissed you and I hoped I could have more.”
“You can, but first, I want you to know I meant what I said last night. You’re incredible, Jules. Like truly the most amazing person, and you’re gorgeous inside and out, and I want you to be happy. But also, I don’t want to take advantage of you, especially with all the shit you’ve been through.”
I put my hand on his chest, my heart aching because truly he was the kindest person I’d ever met.
“You’re not, I promise. The way you’ve supported me and encouraged me to be myself has made me feel more confident and certain than ever before.
You want me to be who I am, and when I’m with you, I can feel myself becoming whole again.
But it’s not just that. I want you, want this, because you are the most gorgeous and wonderful man I’ve ever met.
And I’m pretty sure you’re far too cool for me, but I’m trying not to think about that. ”
“I’m not cool. I’m just some guy with a mohawk who has a mild obsession with plants.”
“Well, I think that’s the coolest thing ever,” I said.
He smiled and leant in to nudge my nose. “Maybe we can take it slowly? Just for me.”
“Of course. But does that mean no kisses?”
“Eh, I think that might be too much.”
I grinned and pulled him in for a deep kiss.