Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Tai
Being with Jules was as easy to me as breathing. I didn’t know how else to describe it.
There was a sweetness and softness to him that drew me in and a beauty in everything that he did. Every time I looked at him, my feelings hit me all over again, and sometimes I had to stop and process that this was my life now, because it sure as hell didn’t feel real.
I loved hearing him talk about his interests and the first time he’d gotten up to demonstrate something on the violin, I’d almost dropped to my knees.
After that, he played regularly whenever I was around, and I loved lying on his sofa with Cécile purring on my lap, listening as the music carried me away.
Sometimes he’d play while I pottered around his garden, which he’d insisted I was welcome to do, the pair of us indulging in our interests together.
Jules was more talented than he’d ever give himself credit for, but as the weeks went on, I watched him grow in confidence as he truly began to believe I wasn’t going to criticise him the way Darius and Philip had.
Watching him flourish without their presence in his life had been nothing short of incredible, but at times I could see Jules struggling with it because I knew he was wondering why he hadn’t found the strength to ditch them before.
And once or twice I realised he was actively waiting for something to happen between us, as if he couldn’t believe that someone would want him the way I did.
We’d had a long conversation about it, and Jules had been honest that he hadn’t realised how much every aspect of his life had been affected by constantly having to walk on eggshells around Darius.
I think it frustrated him that exorcising these pricks wasn’t a one-time thing, that Darius’s and Philip’s behaviour was going to have long-term ramifications for him that required unpicking and unpacking.
It wasn’t fair and it was painful as fuck, and I’d held Jules in my arms while he’d cried and raged about it, wishing there was some way I could take away that hurt.
But I knew there wasn’t.
Eventually it would hurt less, and the scars would heal, but they’d still be there. And sometimes they’d pull and itch for no reason.
“I think I’ve found a therapist,” Jules said one night in mid-July when we were sitting in my rooftop garden, watching the sun set over the city.
“Yeah? That’s awesome,” I said, reaching over to take his hand and squeeze it gently.
“Yes. I did a lot of searching through listings and emailing, but I think I’ve found someone.
We’re having an introductory session next week to see if he’s a good fit.
Apparently, he does trauma-informed therapy for people who’ve been in these sorts of situations, so hopefully it will help. I’m a bit nervous though.”
“That’s okay, it can be nerve-racking to talk to someone about this stuff.
But I’m really proud of you for reaching out to someone, and I’ll be around if you want to talk afterwards.
Or if you want a distraction, I can do you a solid ninety-minute presentation on the merits and challenges of urban gardening,” I said, trying to add a touch of levity to the situation because I knew how tough it was to confide in someone about starting therapy.
“And if you just want to be left alone, that’s fine too. ”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” He smiled softly and squeezed my hand again. “Oh, my brother is coming to visit next weekend. I don’t suppose you’re free for lunch?”
“I’d love that! And while I remember, a couple of friends of mine are doing a board game night at theirs next Friday and wondered if you’d like to come too? No pressure, obviously, but they’d love to meet you.”
I’d been holding back from introducing Jules to some of my friends, because while I loved them to death, none of them were quiet, subtle people and I was worried they’d smother him with attention.
I didn’t worry about them prodding and poking him about his past, but more that they’d make him the sole focus in an attempt to make sure he felt welcome and wanted, and that might be a bit much if Jules wasn’t ready for it.
I’d finally agreed to mention the board game night as long as they promised to behave, which they had, and I trusted them.
“Oh, that, um… I’m not very good at board games, will that be an issue?” Jules asked softly.
I shook my head. “I’m not either, so we can be rubbish together.
Although, I can see you being incredibly good at things like Ticket to Ride.
You have to build trainlines, and I always get too focused on what I’m doing that turn instead of thinking about the future.
And before I know it, some bastard’s cut me off and I’m stuck! ”
“That does sound fun. Would it be okay, if it got too much… would they mind if we left early?”
“Of course not! They just want us to have fun. And I’ll tell you all about them before we go, including their cat. Although fair warning, he’s the one that likes being held like a baby so you might get duped into carrying a cat around all night.”
“Then yes, that would be nice. Thank you,” Jules said with a smile, leaning over to rest his head on my shoulder while the clouds turned pink on the horizon.
The first time we made love was on a rainy afternoon at the end of July, about six weeks after we’d first started talking. I’d been the one who’d insisted on taking the physical side of our relationship slowly, because I’d worried about taking advantage of Jules.
I hadn’t wanted him to feel like he owed me, and I’d needed to know he wanted us to have sex because of what we were building together, not where we’d started.
Jules had been very patient, reminding me often that, just because I’d helped him to see the problems with Darius, that didn’t mean that he felt any obligation.
He was attracted to me because of who I was and the way I made him feel.
Which was apparently horny, flirty, and teasing as fuck.
And I couldn’t say I minded because I fucking adored watching that side of him come to the surface.
He had this habit of sitting in my lap wearing oversized T-shirts and tiny pairs of shorts while we made out, grinding into my lap and moaning as I kissed him.
We’d slowly started going further, adding hand jobs, desperate frotting, and eventually blow jobs to our make-out sessions, and I’d learned I loved watching Jules’s face when he came.
The way he looked when he let himself go, the way he was becoming more demanding and vocal, and the way he asked for what he wanted, fuck, it made me want to offer myself up on a silver platter so he could take anything he needed.
On that afternoon, we were sprawled out on his sofa together, the summer rain drumming lightly against the window and some film or other playing in the background.
I couldn’t even remember what we’d put on.
Jules had started out lying between my legs as we watched, but he’d soon gotten bored and rolled over, crawling on top of me so he could kiss me while slowly rolling his hips in little circles, rubbing his cock against mine.
I groaned, my fingers sinking into his hair as my other hand slid down his back to grab his arse, drinking down the delicious sounds he made.
Jules’s kisses turned hungry, grinding against me as his cock hardened.
He huffed and pulled back, resting his hands on either side of my head as he looked down at me, a tiny pout forming on his lips.
Fuck, that was sexy. And dangerous. I’d do anything for that pout.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked, running one thumb over his bottom lip. “You seem upset.”
“I’m not upset. I’m just horny,” he said as he wiggled his hips, rubbing his erection against mine. “I need to come, Tai. I want you to make me come.”
“I can do that,” I said as Jules sucked the tip of my thumb into his mouth, making me groan.
“What do you want? Do you want to keep doing this?” He shook his head.
“No? Do you want my hand?” Another shake of his head as he sucked my thumb, and all I could think of was the way he’d blown me last weekend and how beautiful he’d looked with my cock between his lips.
“My mouth?” Another no. I chuckled fondly.
“You’ll have to let go of my thumb and tell me then, baby. ”
“I want you to fuck me,” he said. “I want to ride your cock and feel you filling me up. I know it will feel so good, and it’s all I’ve been thinking about. But I know you want to wait. I just… wanted to tell you.”
“Yeah? Been thinking about my cock?”
“So much. I keep dreaming about it.”
I groaned and pushed my hips up so he could feel how hard I was, loving the way he gasped, his eyes fluttering shut for a second. “Guess we better go upstairs then.”
“A-Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” I said, pulling him into a kiss. “I’m not going to keep you waiting any longer. Not when you need me.”
We kissed desperately until my patience snapped and I gently pushed Jules off me so I could drag him upstairs to his room.
Our clothes hit the floor as soon as the door was closed, and I spread him out on the bed, taking him apart with my mouth and my fingers until he was a needy mess in the middle of the mattress.
Lube dripped down my fingers as I slowly opened him up, kissing his thighs and sucking his cock, praise pouring from my lips as he took more of me.
“You look so beautiful like this,” I murmured as I pumped three fingers in and out of his hole.
“So wet and open for me, baby. Can’t wait to watch you bounce on my cock. ”
“N-Need it,” Jules said, his voice cracking as he looked down his body at me. “Let me ride you. Please, Tai.”
“Of course. Take what you need from me, baby.”
I grabbed a condom, rolling it on, then pulled Jules into my lap as I stretched myself out next to him. Jules grasped my cock in his fingers, his other hand on my chest as he slowly slid down onto me. I groaned, my hands gripping his thighs as I filled him, his arse squeezing tightly around me.
Jules rode me with a fierce hunger, taking his pleasure without hesitation and it was beautiful.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his face as I wrapped my hand around his shaft, stroking him as he bounced on my cock, drawing him closer to the edge with every move.
My balls tightened, heat sliding down my spine as my orgasm raced towards me, but all I could focus on was Jules.
He cried out as he came, his release painting my chest and splattering across my stomach as his hips stuttered, his cock pulsing in my hand, and his face the perfect picture of bliss. I grabbed his hip with one hand as I thrust up into him hard and fast, chasing my release.
And when I came, it was with Jules’s name on my lips.
Afterwards, when we’d cleaned up and made our way back downstairs to the sofa, half-dressed and debating ordering pizza, I pulled Jules across me and kissed the side of his head, memorizing all the tiny details of his face. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course,” he said, smiling at me as he folded his arms across my chest and rested his head on them.
“It might be too soon, and you don’t have to say it back, but I love you, Jules.”
“R-Really?”
“Yeah, really. No lies. I love you, a hundred percent and more.”
“I love you too,” he said breathlessly. “I never thought… I didn’t… I didn’t think I’d ever get to be loved like this. But you made me a person again, Tai. You helped me find myself, and I love you so much I don’t even know how to describe it.”
“It’s okay, it’s not a competition.” I brushed a bit of hair out of his face and grinned. “There’s no first prize for this, and nobody is judging us. It’s just us.”
“Just us, I like that.” There was a disgruntled meow from the armchair and Jules laughed. “Okay, us and Cécile.”
“You, me, and Cécile,” I said. “I like that.”
“I love that.”
I chuckled and kissed him again. “Good. So how do you feel about you, me, Cécile, and a really big pizza?”