Chapter 35
ZACH
It was getting dark by the time I reached the private road leading up to the ranch house. The drive in was a few miles long, mostly wooded with stretches of open field between dense trees, and there wasn’t a single damn streetlight along the route because I’d decided rustic isolation was relaxing.
Idiot.
At dusk though, the place looked like the opening shot of a horror movie, but maybe that was just because I was tired and irritated after today. My mind was still replaying the argument with Alex on a loop when my headlights swept across something small wobbling along the side of the road.
I frowned, slamming on the brakes as soon as I realized what it was. “What the…”
Lu was huffing and puffing on her bike, pedaling furiously down the road while Bear trotted faithfully beside her, but apart from him, she was alone and clearly very upset. I shoved the slug-bug into park and jumped out. “Lauren!”
She pedaled harder, riding a little like a drunken raccoon swaying from one side to the other. I jogged after her, my stomach churning as worry and confusion set in. “Lu!”
Finally, she skidded to a stop near the ditch and whipped around to glare at me with watery blue eyes. “I’m running away.”
Bear sat down proudly beside her, his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging. Awesome. Apparently my dog is aiding and abetting a fugitive. This day really does just keep getting better.
When I reached her, I dropped into a crouch, trying not to sound as alarmed as I felt after finding her all the way out here on her own. “Yeah, I gathered as much.”
“I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Ouch.
Instead of reacting immediately though, I studied her for a second, noticing the scraped-up knees and dirt streaked down her little legs.
There were also tear tracks covering her face and her nose was red.
By the looks of things, she’d fallen off the bike at least once during her dramatic escape into the wilderness.
“Okay,” I said carefully. “Does this have something to do with me and your mom being friends?”
Her face crumpled instantly, but at least she didn’t drag out the suspense. “You left!”
Surprise smacked into me. Whoa. That’s what this is about?
“I had to go to work for a minute,” I said slowly. “Is that really what you’re so angry about?”
She narrowed her eyes at me, her voice shaky but ringing with accusation. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”
Fuck. Okay, yeah. Maybe I messed up.
“You’re right,” I admitted after a beat. “I should have. I’m sorry.”
She scrubbed angrily at her face, smearing dirt from her hands across her cheeks. “You just left.”
I glanced down the dark road behind her and suddenly understood exactly what had happened. She’d thought I wasn’t coming back and it’d upset her so much that she was trying to run away. The realization damn near leveled me.
“Hey.” I kept my voice steady. “I wouldn’t leave you guys, Lu. Never. I just had to go handle something back in Chicago, but that’s all.”
“You still left.” She crossed her arms tightly over her midsection, trembling despite the warm air. “I didn’t even know when you were coming back.”
She didn’t say it, but there was a definite if there. She hadn’t only not known when I would be coming back. She’d also not known if I’d be coming back at all.
My mind raced, but it made a devastating sort of sense. In her limited experience, men who left ended up disappearing. With time, I would prove to her that wouldn’t happen with me, but right now, I just had to find a way to reassure her.
I needed to prove that I actually liked having her around and that she was safe with me. That she could safely rely on me because I’d never abandon her.
“Okay, yeah,” I said finally. “How about this? Next time, I’ll just take you with me.”
She frowned. “To work?”
“Yep. My office is incredibly boring, so you should be prepared for that, but there are plenty of people around for you to bully and be bossy to.”
Finally dragging in a breath that calmed her enough to stop shaking, she fixed me with a serious look. “Like who?”
“Definitely Uncle Alex. You haven’t met him yet, but he’s my oldest brother, and trust me, he deserves it. You could draw on his important papers. Maybe hide his phone.”
She sniffled again, but some of the panic started draining out of her little face. “You would really let me come with you?”
“Well, yeah,” I said without even having to think about it. “If you want to come, why wouldn’t I? Honestly, if you were a little older, I’d let you drive.”
She stared right at me for another long minute. Then she suddenly broke altogether, sobbing so hard that she could barely speak. “I got lost and I was so scared.”
The words hit me like a truck. I reached for her immediately, picking her up and holding her tight. She clung to me, burying her face in my shoulder while Bear paced anxiously around us like he blamed himself for the situation.
“It’s okay,” I murmured, pushing up to my feet without letting her go and carrying her back to the bug. “I’ve got you, kiddo.”
She cried the whole time I buckled her into the backseat. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and decided to come back for the bike later. There was no fitting it in the bug. I got back in behind the wheel, let Bear into the passenger seat, and drove the rest of the way to my house.
I’d been furious at Louis all day, annoyed and intent on doing whatever had to be done to put his latest drama behind us, but I now understood that the damage he’d done was so much worse than just being an annoying, money-grubbing asshole.
This was what he’d done to them, his own kids, instilling this constant fear that someone important would simply disappear.
When I pulled up to house, the other women in my life were in full meltdown mode.
Adeline burst out onto the porch with her phone in her hand, her face ashen and her shoulders trembling.
Amber came following after with Jennifer right behind her, wearing pajamas and flip-flops while she cried openly.
I looked at Lu in the backseat and arched an eyebrow at her, but she crossed her arms and slumped deeper into the threadbare seat, still sulking. I sighed, twisting around so I was facing her fully.
“Do you see all these people?” I asked, noticing Lu peek out the windshield when I mentioned them. “They all love you very much. I think it’d be better if you don’t run away again. Look how they’re freaking out. You really scared them, Lu.”
Adeline stood frozen on the porch, pale as hell and shaking so hard, I could see it even from here.
She held the phone in her hand, gripping it like a lifeline.
Amber had one arm around Jennifer, obviously comforting her while fighting her own tears.
Lu’s expression changed, like realization was dawning that they were all genuinely worried about her.
Maybe it wasn’t textbook parenting, but honestly, I was improvising. A month ago, my biggest responsibility had been remembering to water a dying plant in my office. I was trying my best here.
Lu finally looked at me again, nodding with wide eyes. “I won’t run away again.”
“Also, you really scared Bear.” The German Shepherd lifted his head proudly at hearing his name. “He’s going to think he failed at his one job.”
Lu frowned. “What job?”
“Taking care of you whenever I can’t be there.”
Her little face softened as she looked at the dog sitting faithfully in the car. I finally opened my door. “Are you ready?”
After a second, she nodded, so I got out, walked around the vehicle, and opened her door.
The second she appeared, Jennifer burst into tears all over again and ran forward, shouting her sister’s name.
Amber intercepted her before she could tackle Lu into the gravel.
Adeline raced over to us too, her phone still clutched in her shaking hand.
She stopped directly in front of Lu and dropped to her knees, grabbing Lu’s face in both hands as tears streaked down her cheeks. “Don’t you ever do that again, bug. I’ve been worried sick.”
Lu burst into tears. “I’m sorry.”
Adeline pulled her into a crushing hug and held her close, the adrenaline seeming to drain out of everyone at the same time. Amber wrapped an arm around Jennifer’s shoulders again. “Okay, let’s get back inside, shall we? Crisis averted.”
Jennifer attached herself to Lu’s side once Adeline let go of her and stood back up, crying dramatically about how she’d thought coyotes had eaten her. Amber guided them both back to the porch. “There are no coyotes here. Don’t scare her. I think we’ve had quite enough of that.”
“No coyotes that we know of,” Jennifer insisted, grabbing Lu’s hand and folding their tiny fingers together. “I’m never letting you leave again.”
Amber nodded her agreement, opened the front door, and waved them both in ahead of her. “I’m not letting either of you out of my sight. Straight to the bathroom. We’ll get Lu cleaned up, then we’re going to get some food into those tummies. You must be starving.”
They disappeared inside and I glanced at Adeline, who’d stayed behind with me in the driveway. Since I was sure she didn’t want to let Lu out of her sight either, I opened my mouth to tell her she could go inside too and that I would be right there, but before I could get a word out, she folded.
Her shoulders dropped and she pressed her trembling fingers against her mouth like she was trying to hold herself together through sheer force of will. Fresh tears were running silently down her cheeks in devastating little rivulets as she slowly lowered herself into a crouch.
Clearly falling apart, she obviously didn’t want them to bear witness. Immediately sinking to my knees beside her, I slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me.
“Hey,” I said quietly, stroking a hand through her hair. “It’s okay. She’s fine.”
“I thought—” She stopped abruptly, shaking her head. “She could’ve gotten hurt.”
“I know, but she didn’t, okay? I mean, sure, she’s got a few scratches, but I think her ego is more bruised than her body.”
“Yeah, but she was lost, Zach. I lost her. How can I ever forgive myself?”
Her breathing hitched and it suddenly clicked into place for me that she’d been doing this alone.
Technically, she had Amber, and once upon a time, she’d had a husband, even if only in title, but practically, this woman had been carrying the entire weight of raising two little girls by herself for years.
I pulled her closer and smoothed a hand over her hair again and again. “Everything’s going to be okay, Adeline. I’ve got you.”
As I said the words, I meant them, but I also realized that the implications stretched much further than just letting her cry in my arms. Those girls were her whole world. If I really was going to have her back, that would mean being there for her kids too.
Which begs the question, am I really ready to be a parent? I thought it over for a beat, but the fact was that I kind of had to be ready. I would figure out a way to make myself ready.
“Are you okay with me stepping up like this?” I asked quietly against her hair. “Filling the void Louis left behind, I mean?”
Adeline lifted her head from my shoulder, the tears slower now, but she was still looking overwhelmed and exhausted, fragile despite the fact that I knew she wasn’t. For a long minute, she just looked at me, but then she gave this tiny helpless shrug.
“It’s not like either of us have a choice.”
Well, fuck.
She wasn’t wrong, per se, but hearing her put it that way felt exactly like getting stabbed straight through the chest.