Chapter 13
ALEX
Alex shuffled from the room after Ava had asked for a moment with her fiancé. It had gutted him, though not more than the interruption by the now-angry architect. The man had come in just as he’d been ready to tell Ava his feelings.
Why did Chris Maxwell have the worst timing in the entire world?
Of course, maybe it was for the best. Doubts gnawed at him as his fingers drummed the cold marble of the kitchen counter.
His heart still thudded in his chest from the near miss with Ava. He’d almost said the words out loud to her.
Despite the weakness in his knees and his pounding heart, he’d almost told her the truth. And then her fiancé had walked in.
He swallowed hard, letting his head fall into his hands. “You’re an idiot, Alex.”
Raised voices from the living room drew his attention. He twisted toward the living room. He wanted to go listen to the conversation, but he knew he shouldn’t.
She’d asked for a minute. He shouldn’t listen in to their conversation.
But he found himself tiptoeing closer despite his own objections. He hovered at the edge of the room, guilt keeping his head hanging as he listened in on their conversation.
“When I was in college, I made Alex watch those ridiculous Hallmark Christmas movies every year. And every year, he sat there through every single one of them.”
He smiled at the words. He recalled watching so many of those movies every holiday season. He hadn’t cared at all. Ava made it sound like a chore for him, but it wasn’t.
They shared popcorn, a blanket, and cuddled on the couch for those movies that often made her misty eyed.
He’d admired her when she hadn’t realized, and sometimes kissed the top of her head when she drifted off to sleep. Things had been less complicated in those days. He hadn’t been nearly as afraid of losing her then.
Yet he’d lost her anyway.
Chris answered her, telling her how she now hated those movies because she’d grown up. “Romance isn’t this nonsense of being swept off your feet. It’s the person who you just get through your day with.”
Alex wrinkled his nose at the sentiment. While he did want to get through every day with Ava, he also wanted to sweep her off her feet.
And not just because he had the money to take her to Paris or buy her a new sports car, he wanted to show her daily how much she meant to him, not just use her to get through his day.
“No. No, my tastes haven’t changed. I still watch those movies. I just…don’t do it with you because you hate them. But I still like them. And my favorite book…it wasn’t Echoes in the Dark, it was The Billionaire’s Royal Secret.”
He pulled his phone from his pocket, navigating to the eReader on it and searching for the book. He’d read it so they could discuss it. Assuming she didn’t leave with Chris.
His forehead crinkled as Chris’s next words stunned him. “You know, I think we need to take some time apart, Ava. I really do. Because I’m not sure we’re on the same page anymore.”
Ava agreed, not fighting. He could hear the defeat in her voice. They argued back and forth for a few minutes after Chris questioned her, the result the same with Chris stating they needed to cool off.
He told her he loved her, but Alex didn’t hear her say the words back. He shuffled back to the kitchen, not wanting to be caught if Chris did actually leave.
A few moments later, the front door slammed shut. He sucked in a breath, twisting back toward the living room. Was Ava upset?
He hurried from his seat on the stool to the opening, peering inside. Her shoulders shook with sobs as she buried her face in her hands.
It broke his heart to see her like this, especially over another man. One he didn’t think deserved her at all, particularly after the way he’d been speaking to her lately.
He crossed to her, perching on the edge of the coffee table as he rubbed her arms before he pulled her hands from her face. “Don’t cry, Avs,” he said, softly.
Her features pinched, tears still welling in her eyes as she raised her gaze to him. Her lips parted as she sniffled, her eyes falling a bit lower.
She leaned closer to him, her lips pressing against his gently. His heart raced, his breath catching. The surprise move caught him off guard, his muscles stiffening before he slowly relaxed.
His trembling hands floated in the air, unsure if he should pull her closer or not, still stunned by the action.
Her warm hands cupped his face as she deepened their kiss. Warmth rushed through him, and he reached for her, intending to pull her into his arms when she stiffened. She pulled back suddenly, her hand covering her mouth as she stared at him with wide eyes.
“I–I’m sorry, Alex. I shouldn’t have–” Her voice, thick with emotion, faltered as fresh tears glistened. “I can’t do this.”
“No, wait,” he murmured, trying to stand on unsteady feet, but she was already running from the room.
Her footsteps pounded up the stairs before her door slammed shut. He stood stunned for a moment, still trying to process what had just happened. His fingers moved to his lips, the sensation of her lips pressed against his still lingering.
The kisses they’d shared earlier had been nothing compared to this. Those staged events, while not unpleasant, lacked the heartfelt emotion he craved from Ava.
This one, though, it had been emotionally charged and filled with tenderness. Why had he hesitated? Why hadn’t he pulled her into his arms so she knew it was okay—knew he needed her as much as she needed him, and that he reciprocated her feelings?
He ran his still shaky hand through his hair as he scolded himself. “Stupid, Alex, stupid.”
With a few heavy breaths, he coaxed himself to go after her.
“You have to tell her how you feel,” he breathed. “You have to.”
With his heart still hammering, he climbed the stairs and made his way to Ava’s door. He twisted the knob, finding it locked.
“Ava?” His knuckles rapped against the door. “Ava, open the door.”
“I can’t,” her breathy voice sobbed. “Go away, Alex.”
“No,” he answered, his voice more forceful than he’d expected. “No, I won’t go away. Open the door, Avs.”
Should he shout his feelings through the door? “Ava, we need to talk.”
“I know,” she answered, her voice still shaky.
He pressed his hand against the wood, wanting to see her face and tell her everything was okay. “So, open the door.”
The lock clicked a second later and the door swung open. Ava sniffled, raising her gaze to him with red-rimmed eyes as she chewed her lower lip.
“Hi,” he said softly.
“Hi,” she said with a hiccup before a tear slid down her cheek.
“Oh, Ava,” he soothed, pulling her into a hug.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so embarrassed.”
He stroked her hair, enjoying the close moment despite the obvious tension. His heart swelled as Ava clung to him. Moments ago, they’d kissed, and in a few more, maybe they would again. Maybe if she realized how he felt, she would feel better. “Embarrassed?”
She nodded, her face rubbing against his chest. “Uh-huh. And annoyed.”
“With me?”
“No,” she said with another sniffle. “With me.”
“Why? Avs–”
“I’m…such a jerk.” She pulled back, wiping at her cheeks. “I mean…Chris leaves and my first reaction is to kiss you? That’s a total jerk move.”
He started to shake his head when she wagged a finger at him.
“And don’t make excuses for me. Don’t say, ‘It’s okay, Ava.’ Because it’s not. It’s not okay. You deserve so much better than what just happened.”
He wanted to say that he deserved her, but it wasn’t true. He didn’t deserve her, but he wanted her desperately. How could he explain this to her? How could he convince her that the kiss they’d just shared could be the prelude to a beautiful life together?
And how could he do that when he felt so unsure of what he could offer her?
“Ava…” He struggled to firm his shaky voice, not wanting to sound so pathetic when he told her how he felt.
Ava took another step back, pacing the floor as she continued to clean her cheeks with the backs of her hands. “I have made such a mess of things since I’ve come here.”
“That’s not true,” he answered. “You haven’t made a mess of anything.”
She barked out a laugh as she twisted and ambled in the opposite direction. “First, I ruin things with Chris, then I ruin things with you.”
Prickly heat washed over him at the words. “Avs, you didn’t ruin anything.”
She shot him a glance as she crossed her arms and continued her meandering back and forth. “You’re too nice. But you can’t argue that Chris and I have fallen apart and it’s my fault.”
Good, he thought. “I can and I will.”
“How do you figure that?”
“This is the second time he’s walked out on you, Ava. He walked out on you.”
Ava’s head dipped, her chin diving toward her chest as she chewed her lower lip, massaging her temples.
“This is the second time Chris has ‘needed space.’” Alex couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the statement. “And he accuses you of not being an adult. Adults don’t walk away from the people they supposedly love because they don’t like the way they wear their hair or that they said cool.”
Ava stopped her pacing, twisting to face him. “Were you listening to our conversation?”
Alex’s eyes went wide as guilt coursed through him. “Uhh…”
She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. I’m…angry at Chris, and about to take it out on you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Ava. It’s all going to be okay.”
She breathed out a long breath, patting her hands together nervously. “You’re right. It’ll be fine. Chris just needs to…cool off. It’s how he operates.”
Alex crinkled his brow. “Is it how you operate?”
She twisted to face him, her features screwing up. “Huh?”
Alex shoved his hands into his pockets with a shrug. “Is this okay with you? The fact that every time the going gets tough…he walks away? I mean, Avs, you were in a car accident earlier. You should be resting in bed, not sobbing and feeling stressed.”
She sucked in a breath, shaking her head. “He doesn’t…”
She didn’t finish the statement.