Chapter 10 #2
“It’s not a problem,” he agreed ruefully, a smile curling the edge of his lip. Indeed he liked her just the way she was. “You will never guess what she had the gall to tell me the day after we arrived in the village.”
Sigurd grinned back. “Whatever it was, you clearly enjoyed hearing it. I know that look.”
“Oh, I did enjoy it, but you might not.” Wolf gave a small laugh. “She said that I was not married yet because I preferred to bed men and you, my friend, were suggested as one of my lovers.”
A grunt answered him. “Well. I hope you denied that most forcefully!”
“Calm down, she knows full well we never shared a bed. She was only trying to rile me.”
“And apparently she failed.”
“Spectacularly. It only made me more determined to have her.”
Just as he said the words, Merewen gave a groan, as if she was waking up. Wolf cupped her cheek, relief flooding through him. She gave a little sigh and rubbed into his palm, soft and trusting as a kitten. He wanted to wrap her in his arms.
“Wolf?” she murmured.
His heart tripped. In her torment she was calling out to him. Perhaps all was not lost, perhaps during her time alone, she had concluded she wanted to give this marriage a try?
“I’m here, it’s all right,” he murmured so low that only she could hear him. “I won’t let anyone else touch you.”
“How did you find me?”
She didn’t sound as bewildered as she might have to be back at the hut, as if she had known all along he would come to her. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of this proof of trust he knew he did not deserve.
“I did not find you. My friend Sigurd did,” he said, feeling more dejected than ever. He was her husband. He should have been the one helping her, the one protecting her. He had promised to do so and she had accepted to marry him precisely for that reason.
And then, less than two days later he had failed her!
“Mmm,” she said, and for the first time since they had met, he had no idea what she meant.
“I will leave you two alone now she’s awake,” he heard Sigurd say.
Wolf nodded, not taking his eyes from Merewen. “Thanks again, my friend.”
“No problem. Take care of your little wife.”
In the night, Merewen woke up and found Wolf by her side, looking at her, his eyes two glowing gems in the moonlight.
Not knowing what to say or how to act, she pretended she had not seen him and closed her eyes again.
A moment later, his warm hand stroked her cheek and neck.
She almost groaned out loud at the pleasure the contact gave her.
Either he had seen she was awake and he wanted to reassure her or he could not stop himself from touching her.
It mattered not. She allowed the comfort of his caresses to lull her back to sleep.
When she next woke up, it was still dark, and Wolf had not moved. She had no idea how much time had elapsed. Keeping her eyes on the door, she spoke slowly.
“I was not fleeing you, you know, not exactly.” It seemed important to let him know that. “I only… I needed time to think.”
“Yes.” He sounded uncharacteristically tense. “You needed time away from me because you could not bear being my wife after what you found out, after the way I pounced on you. It was unforgivable. You are afraid of me now, and although I understand why, it gores me.”
“I’m not afraid of you,” she breathed, then bit her lip when he glared at her.
She had scuttled away to the far end of the hut and then he had jumped on her.
It would be hard to make him believe she had not been afraid of him then, at least. And perhaps for a fleeting moment, she had been.
But she regretted it now. “I’ll admit I reacted badly when you told me about your wife, but I was more confused than anything else. ”
“I pinned you to the wall and snarled at you,” he reminded her, as if he would not have her exonerate him of all blame when he knew himself to be in the wrong. “It must have scared you.”
“It was not just you,” she said in a small voice.
“But everything had spiraled out of control. First I lost my brother, the person I loved most in the world. I had spent years attending to him and after the death of my father we clung to each other. He was the only family I had. Before I had time to absorb the pain and shock of his death I was abducted, sold like an animal by an enemy I didn’t even know I had, bought and brought to a place I don’t know.
Then I was married to a man I don’t really know and was told he had been accused of killing his wife. ”
Wolf had never felt more like an executioner.
“I know… I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized how hard all this would have been on you.
” To his shame, he had forgotten about the death of her brother.
But indeed, being abducted in the middle of a loved one’s funeral to be sold at a slave market would unsettle the most steadfast of people.
“I only knew that you were safe with me, that I could be a good husband to you but of course you have no reason to believe me, or even if you do,” he added quickly when he saw she was about to protest, “it doesn’t mean that you want to be married to me.
And then I frightened you. I would say you had every reason to flee. ”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. What a mess he had made of things!
“I did not flee,” she repeated. “I always intended to come back.”
Well. That was something, he supposed. As to whether he deserved this generosity, he wasn’t sure.
And before they could put all this behind them, he still had the unpleasant task of telling her what had happened to Solveig.
Would he manage to convince her of his innocence, or would he turn her irremediably against him by talking about it?
In any case, he had no choice. If he did not address the problem, she would never be able to trust him.
“Before we can move on, you need to hear what happened to my wife,” he said with a sigh.
Merewen hesitated then nodded. “Yes, I do.”
She wanted to believe that Wolf was innocent, might already believe it deep down.
He had admitted to being accused of killing his wife when he could have made up an excuse for his presence in East Anglia…
This fact alone pleaded in his favor. Honesty and courage were not qualities she associated with murderers.
But he was right, she did need to hear the whole story.
He looked straight at her before he started to talk.
“I was married to Solveig for two years. We were happy enough, which did not mean there weren’t issues, mainly on my side.
One day we had a heated argument. I was so furious she would not confirm that she might be with child that I forgot where we were and upbraided her in front of everyone.
When I realized we were in the middle of the village I took her back to our hut then left to spend the night in the forest to cool down,” he explained, his voice terse, his eyes aglow.
“In the morning I found Solveig dead. She had been strangled and…”
“And everyone just assumed that you had been the one to do it,” she finished when he remained silent.
How could it be any different? She had been found in their home, he had told no one he would be sleeping in the forest, and they had just had an argument.
He would have appeared like the perfect culprit.
Wolf nodded, confirming her assumption.
“After the scene on the street it was all too easy to make it appear as if I had strangled her in a fit of rage. Having a physique like mine makes people prone to believe the worst of me, or at least imagine I have a violent nature. I don’t think it will surprise you to hear it.
” He shook his head like a man who’d had to hear the same nonsense all his life but could not bear for her to adhere to it.
“When Ingólfur clamored that I had to be judged for the crime, half the village testified that they had seen me shout at Solveig the very night of the murder. It did not appear good.”
“Had you manhandled her?”
Wolf’s eyes flashed and this alone answered her question.
That she thought him capable of such an act seemed to send him in a flurry of rage and besides, her every instinct told her that this man would never pose any threat to a woman.
Had he not reined in his temper with her the other day when he had pressed her against the wall, preferring to leave before he could snap and truly hurt her?
“No, I did not manhandle her, that day or ever. I might have grabbed her elbow to hurry her along, eager to bring the argument to an end. I don’t know.
But I would never have done more than that, hit her or even simply pretend to.
I am not a violent man.” He lifted eyes dark with anguish to her.
“I realize that you have no reason to believe me, but I am truly not. I would never hit a woman, and Solveig was my wife. I loved her. I would have hurt her even less. For all that, I am not completely innocent. My loss of control did cost her her life. That is something I will have to live with for the rest or my days.”
They stared at each other a long moment. Merewen could hardly believe she had ever entertained the notion that he might have actually done what he was accused of.
“I believe you,” she said eventually. “If you were a violent man I would have found myself at the receiving end of your blows more than once, never more so than the other day, when I all but accused you of murdering your wife.”
“I’m truly sorry about the way I pounced on you but I could not bear for you to—”
“I understand.”
To Wolf’s surprise, Merewen gave him a tentative smile and he understood that not only did she believe his story but she had forgiven him for his outburst. The tightness in his chest eased.
Perhaps she would stay and give him a chance, perhaps during her time alone she had decided to accept their union.
He was humbled that she would even want to try after all that had happened.