Chapter 18
“Let’s see how your helm fits,” said Jonathon the day before the tournament was to begin. He, as well as his brother and little Gerold, had been so swamped with requests from the competitors, that Lord Corbett had told him to work in the forge instead of guarding Raven.
Raven, of course, had been glad not to be guarded. He, on the other hand, missed her, since these were his last days to spend with her before she got married. Still, he realized it was probably for the best.
After the other day in the ladies’ solar, Raven had barely spoken to him at all except to ask about her armor.
He knew what she wanted concerning the two of them, but wasn’t able to give it to her.
She wanted him to help her find a deceptive way to ensure that none of the nobles would marry her.
Raven had also had a daft notion that he could help her find a way to marry him instead.
If only that were true.
“I’m excited that you’re done with my armor,” said Raven, looking down at the entire set, including her favorites, which were the gauntlets.
With the extra time he was allowed to work the forge, he’d been able to not only fill all the orders from the knights, but also finish and add etchings and even little engraved hearts on the breastplate and up and down the arm and leg pieces, too.
“Wait. What’s this?” she asked, pointing at the etchings.
Jonathon smiled. She’d be so happy with his addition. It was just his way of trying to etch the memory of him on her mind. “It’s just a little something extra I put on the armor for you. I hope you like it.”
“Hearts? And are these etched flowers on the helm too?”
“Yes, they are,” he said proudly, holding it out and admiring it. “I thought it would make your armor look more feminine.”
“It certainly does that.” By the tone of her voice, it didn’t sound like she liked it. Mayhap he should have etched dragons and ogres on it instead.
It was late at night, and Avery and Gerold had already gone to bed.
Everyone in the castle was sleeping as well.
They were excited about the big tournament tomorrow that would start at sunrise and wouldn’t end until sundown.
A huge feast and celebration were planned for afterwards, with fancy food, music, and dancing that would last far into the night.
“This armor fits you like a glove,” he said, finishing dressing her. He held pride in his work. It was one of the best things he’d ever constructed. Still, Raven didn’t seem happy with it at all.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Is it not everything you wanted, and even more?” He couldn’t help admiring his work.
“Nay, not exactly, but it’ll have to do,” she answered with a sigh, pulling off her helm.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to please you, my lady.” He had no idea anymore what would make this girl happy.
“Stop calling me my lady,” she snapped at him. “Help me take it off. I need to go to sleep and get my rest for tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving the forge? So soon?” His heart dropped. He had hoped to spend just a little more time with her, and mayhap even sneak in another kiss or two before she got married and they never saw each other again.
“It’s very late, Jonathon. We both know I shouldn’t be out here without a chaperone.”
“It never stopped you before. Besides, I’m your chaperone,” he said, still hoping she would stay. At least for a little while.
“That’s not the same.”
Once her armor had been removed, Jonathon put it all in a large bag and handed it to her. “I still don’t know why it is so important that you get this armor. It’s not like you’re ever going to be able to use it.”
“It’s something I need.” She barely even looked at him when she spoke.
“Need? Want, mayhap. But why in the world would a lady need armor?”
“You’re right. I should have said want,” she corrected herself. “My mistake. Well, I’ll be going now.”
He grabbed her arm to stop her. “Raven, wait.” He used her name without the title, because it was probably the last time he’d ever be able to do so.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I-I just thought since this will be the last time we’re together before you’re married, that mayhap you’d want to stay a little longer, that’s all.”
She looked at him and sighed. “Jonathon, doesn’t it even bother you that tomorrow I’ll have to marry a noble? I mean, another man besides you? Or are you totally fine with that?”
“Nay, of course, I’m not fine with it, and yes, it bothers me more than you’ll ever know.”
“Then why don’t you do something about it?”
“I can’t. It wouldn’t make a difference if I did. You know that. We are from two different walks of life. We can’t be together, as much as we want to.” He took her in his arms and kissed her atop her head. Her body stiffened. It was obviously not the answer she wanted to hear.
“I have to go now.” She pulled away from him.
“Wait, Raven. Please. You need to understand that I want to marry you more than anything in the world. But it just... can’t be.”
“I’m a fighter, Jonathon, and have always been. Now, you need to fight for what you want as well.”
“I can’t give you what you want. I am only a commoner. I have nothing at all to offer.”
He saw the tears in her eyes, as well as aggravation. It confused him and made his heart break at the same time.
“The only thing I wanted from you, Jonathon, was your love.”
With that, she hurried out the door, leaving Jonathon standing there feeling as if his life was over. He turned around to see Avery and Gerold watching him from the entrance to the bedroom.
“Go to sleep,” he told them, dousing the fire on the forge. “There is nothing to see here.”
“You’re just going to let her go?” asked Avery.
“Damn it,” spat Jonathon, throwing an iron poker across the room. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”
Avery and Gerold didn’t say a word. Probably because there was nothing to say. Nothing Jonathon said or did would do anything to change the outcome of tomorrow.
Or would it?
Raven bolted into her bedchamber, slamming the door behind her. Lark was up and pacing the floor, waiting for her to return.
“Cousin, what’s the matter?” she asked, running over to Raven. “Did ye get yer armor?”
“I got it,” she said, opening the bag and dumping it on the bed. “However, it’s not what I wanted.”
“Och, that is bonnie.” Lark ran over and held up the helm in the firelight. “I love the flowers and little etched hearts.”
“Well, I don’t,” she complained, plopping down on a chair to remove her shoes.
“Why not? I think it’s the bonniest armor I’ve ever seen.”
“Exactly. That’s why.” She pulled off a shoe and threw it across the room. “I need people to believe I’m a man tomorrow at the tournament. No man would ever have little flowers and hearts etched on his armor.”
“Oh, I see what ye mean.” Lark giggled and put the helm down on the bed.
“It’s not funny, Lark. Tomorrow is my only chance to keep myself from having to marry a noble, and hopefully to be able to choose Jonathon to marry instead.”
“What do you mean?” Lark sat down on the bed, pulling the breast plate over to inspect it. “Ye’re goin’ to ask to marry Jonathon?”
“Aye. Well, I mean, I want to. That was my plan. Right after I won the tournament.”
“Ye’re goin’ to ask yer father that right in front of everyone?” Lark looked horrified by the thought.
“I know it’ll make Father angry, but I was hoping if I did it in front of everyone, he wouldn’t be able to say no. I only wish Jonathon would have approached him first. I’m starting to wonder if he really wants to marry me after all.”
“Dinna be angry with Jonathon,” said Lark. “Ye need to realize that he has too much to lose if he asks and yer father says no.”
“Lose? Like what?”
“Well, his customers, for one. No nobleman, or even Uncle Corbett is goin’ to get work done in his father’s shop after hearing that!
And if anyone finds out that ye two made love, there’s a chance that Jonathon might lose his life.
His family might suffer too. Ye canna blame him for not wantin’ to stick his neck out regardin’ this. Dinna ye see that?”
Raven stopped and thought about it for a moment.
Just like her mother told her, she needed to stop thinking about her own wants and needs, and think about how her decisions were going to affect those she cared for or loved.
“I suppose you’re right. But that still won’t stop me from trying.
” She finished undressing and blew out the candle.
“I just hope everything goes the way I plan tomorrow.”