21. Cade
Feel Like - Gracie Abram s
I barely had time to settle back into reality when the storm hit. It came swiftly and with little warning, encasing the town in a thick layer of ice. Power lines snapped under the weight, plunging the area into darkness and cutting off all communication. My phone was already struggling with low battery, so I sent off one last text to Paige.
Cade: Hey baby, I don’t know if you’ve seen anything on the news yet, but our town was hit with a massive ice storm and the power is out everywhere. My phone isn’t going to last, so I wanted to tell you I miss you and I’ll be in touch as soon as I can. xoxo
After the storm died down, an eerie silence overtook the town as Dean and Miles filed in through my front door. We decided to pool our resources and wait out the power outage at the cabin.
The first night was the worst. Cold seeped in as the howling wind created an overwhelming sense of dread. It was abundantly clear very early on that we would need to ration our supplies, mainly subsisting on peanut butter sandwiches and bottled water.
“Looks like we’re in for some real gourmet dining,” Miles jokes, trying to lighten the mood as he slaps 2 peanut butter coated slices of bread together. I manage a smile but my mind drifts to Paige. I didn’t get to talk to her about the conversation with her parents, and I’m worried about how she’s coping. Every day without contact feels like an eternity.
The days blend together in a haze of cold and quiet. We spend our time playing cards by candlelight, the LED lanterns having died out hours ago, and listening to the wind whistling over the lake, the quiet sound broken only by the occasional crack of a tree limb succumbing to the weight of the ice.
I approach the desk nestled in the corner of my seldom used office, finding a pad of paper and a pen. I’m not sure why I started writing, but as my thoughts linger on Paige, I recount our trip and the growing affection I have for my fiancée.
“To - ron - to,” I murmur as the pen glides across the page.
“Dude, what are you doing?” Dean breaks me out of my stupor, standing on the precipice between the hallway and my solitude.
“Leave him alone, dude,” Miles interjects. “He’s obviously pining.”
As the week drags on, my concern for Paige grows. I can’t stand the thought of her worrying about me when she has so much of her own shit going on. We’re about to face our biggest challenges yet and here I am, leaving her alone to face it on her own.
Finally, after what feels like forever, the ice melts, and the power is restored. My first priority is charging my phone and as soon as I see the screen turn on, I hurry to send a message to my girl.
Cade: Hey Sunshine. We’re okay. The power has been out all week. Dean and Miles have been staying with me at the cabin. I miss you so much. Please let me know that you’re okay, too.
Sunshine: Cade! I’ve been so worried. I’m so glad you’re safe. I miss you so much.
Relief washes over me as I read her words. Her response is a balm to my aching heart. Despite the distance and my unintentional silence, we’re still connected. I can’t wait any longer to hear her voice so I quickly tap on her contact. I hear the line click over. “Cade,” she breathes out my name like a prayer.
“It’s so good to hear your voice, Sunshine. How have you been holding up?” I ask.
She hesitates before saying, “I’m okay.”
Paige
This has felt like the longest week of my life. I bite my bottom lip, a nervous habit from childhood. Being unable to talk to Cade felt like trying to navigate through a dense fog without a compass.
“Besides worrying about you constantly, things with my mom have gotten worse.”
“I’m sorry. Tell me what happened.”
I take a deep breath trying to steady my racing heart. “After I told my dad about the engagement, he called my mom. Which for him is a big deal sin ce they rarely talk — given my role as the mediator. She called me that night and left a really harsh voicemail, and things went downhill from there. I tried to talk to her again, to explain how much you mean to me and why we want to get married, but she wouldn’t listen. My mom has always been this way – she thinks she knows what’s best for everyone and if you even deign to disagree, she gaslights you.”
I’m apprehensive to say more. It’s hard to replay the events of the past week. There’s a beat of silence before Cade speaks, “What did she say? If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll understand but I’d like to know. I want to be there for you.”
“She accused me of rushing into things because I’m insecure and desperate for attention. She said I should focus on finishing school before making such a life-changing decision; I barely got a word in while she berated me.” I probably sound like a petulant child who had her toy taken away, but it’s hard to explain how it feels when your own wants and needs are constantly ignored by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I’ve spent my whole life believing I was inadequate, living with the immense weight of everybody else’s expectations. Standing up for myself has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but this has to end sometime. I only hope it doesn’t backfire.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I wish I could’ve been there.”
“Me too, but hearing your voice helps. I left my dad’s house, and I’ll be staying with Mags again until I figure out what to do next.”
“Maybe in time they’ll come around,” Cade says. Moments pass as we sit quietly listening to each other breathe. “Is there something else on your mind? You’re really quiet.”
“I just… do you still want this? Us?” I ask tentatively. It’s not the first time the thought has crossed my mind — wondering if maybe Cade is regretting rushing into a relationship with me. We still have so much to learn about each other and so many things to work out.
“Of course I still want this. Not being able to talk to you for an entire week only made me want you more. So fucking much more.”
“Okay.” the word comes out on a breathy sigh.
“I know everything happened very quickly, but there’s no rush. Let’s take things one step at a time. Obviously, I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last week,” he laughs. “I was hoping you’d be interested in meeting me in Niagara Falls for Valentine’s Day.”
After everything I’ve been through the past few months, an overwhelming feeling of anticipation washes over me at Cade’s suggestion. I thought we would have to be apart for a lot longer, but Valentine’s Day is less than 2 weeks away.
“I’d love that. I’ve never had a Valentine.” My voice is steady but my heart is beating out of my chest. The prospect of being able to breathe him in again has my pulse spiking.
“I missed you, Sunshine. I can’t wait to touch you again. And if I have it my way, I’ll be your first and last Valentine.”
“Oh, yeah?” My tone is suggestive now, picking up a heady dose of sexual tension.
“Mmmm. I have a few ideas that we didn’t get to try last time.”
I can hear the need in his voice, so I switch us over to FaceTime.
“You holding out on me, Cowboy?”
“If I did everything I wanted to do to you, I never could’ve left.”
“Tell me.”
Cad e
Two weeks pass in a flurry of anticipation and excitement. The cold February chill bites at my face as I step out of the rental car, a view of the falls in my periphery, but I don’t bother looking. I only have eyes for my girl. I scan the crowd of tourists, my heart pounding with anticipation. It has been far too long since I last held her in my arms. The falls roar behind me, a fitting backdrop for the emotions surging through my veins.
Suddenly, there she is, at the edge of a path, her gaze searching the crowd. Our eyes meet, and for a moment, the entire world fades away. Her face breaks into that all too familiar smile she saves only for me, and I feel my feet move before I even realize I’m running towards her.
“Sunshine!” I call out, my voice barely audible over the thundering water. She waves, her cheeks flushed from the cold or from her excitement, I’m not sure. Our bodies collide, wrapping her in a tight embrace as I take in her familiar vanilla scent. “I missed you.”
We stood there for a few moments, memorizing each other. The falls continue their endless cascade behind us as tourists mill about, oblivious to the private moment happening in the middle of the crowd.
We spend hours exploring Niagara Falls, our fingers entwined, stopping here and there for Paige to take photographs, then getting absolutely drenched on the boat ride, laughing together like we were kids. We wander through the park, taking in the beauty of the landscape — truthfully I spend most of the day taking in the beauty of the woman beside me instead — and I feel a sense of peace that I haven’t known since the last time I held her in my arms.
As the sun begins to set, casting a golden glow over the falls where the rainbow lights illuminate the scene, we find a quiet spot to sit and watch the water. Paige leans her head on my shoulder and in that moment I kno w I can’t go one more second without telling her how I feel.
“Paige…” The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t seem to let them out. I don’t know what’s holding me back — fear of the unknown, maybe. She must sense my inner turmoil because she reaches out her hand, her delicate fingers brushing against my brow, smoothing the furrow that I didn’t realize was there, then so softly she kisses my lips, allowing the moment to pass.
I think she knows. How could she not? I’ve done everything but say the words. It’s in every brush of my fingertips and every lingering glance. She owns every part of me, irrevocably.
“Are you okay?”
“Yep, I’m fine,” I lie. “Taking it all in.”
She giggles, the mood instantly lightening at the sweet sound of her laughter.
“Yeah, it’s incredible. I could almost stay here forever.”
I swallow hard, wanting so badly to say the words that wouldn't come. Instead, I reach out and take her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. It isn’t enough, but it’s all I can manage for now. Paige squeezes back, her touch warm and reassuring. “Let’s head back to the hotel.”
Resigned to let the moment pass, I scoop her into my arms and run across the damp grass towards the car, the sound of her giggles filling the air.
“Cade, put me down!”
“Stop squirming or I’ll drop you!”
“You wouldn’t!”
Instead of a response, I spank her ass, the air around us thick with sexual tension.
God, I missed her.