Chapter 32 #2
She whips her head up, her eyes going wide. “No. You’ve seen my thighs. You know I don’t have your name tattooed there. Not in ink anyway.” The last part is mumbled, but I heard every word.
While I want to pound my chest with pride, I’m equally confused.
But she’s right. I have explored her thighs. Intimately.
She doesn’t have my autograph tattooed on her body.
“Who are you?” I ask, even though I don’t think I want to know.
“My name is Sydney Turner. But I don’t work in IT. Not really.” She swallows thickly. “I’m a hacker. I work for SAFE Haven Security. Featherlight told my boss to send someone who could blend in on the show to find Scarlett. We figured the best way would be for me to become a contestant.”
She’s using words I know. But they don’t make any sense.
“What?”
Her bottom lip trembles. “I was hired to find Scarlett.”
Hired.
She’s here for Scarlett.
Not for me.
Pain lances my chest like a hot knife dragged across my skin.
“Danny?” He was hired to protect me from Scarlett. Though after he quit, he wasn’t replaced.
That’s the promise Featherlight made after Scarlett’s letter indicated that she would be on the show.
Sydney snorts a laugh.
“That marshmallow disguised as a gym bro? He doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.”
Part of me wants to laugh because, yet again, she’s called it like it is.
But the bigger part of me is focused on that single word she said a moment ago. Hired.
“So you’ve been pretending? You’re not on the show because you want to find love?”
“I—”
I stand, suddenly full of restless energy. She was hired to what? Date me? Was fucking me just a bonus? My confusion morphs into anger, and with every new thought that pops into my head, that anger grows.
“That’s either a yes or a no,” I spit out, bitterness overriding the shock and hurt.
She stands as well, hands on her hips. Take no shit.
“If you’d let me explain instead of throwing a fit like a damn toddler, I’d tell you everything you want to know.”
That’s my answer, isn’t it?
I just confessed that I’ve fallen in love with her, and she’s telling me I don’t even know who she is.
I’m a goddamned idiot.
“Is that what you think of me? You see me as a toddler throwing a fit? If that’s the case, how could you stand being around me?” I ask.
“That’s—”
“Meanwhile, I fell in love. But with a figment of my imagination. I don’t even know who you are. I risked my heart, only to discover the person I’ve given it to is an impostor.”
That’s what hurts the worse.
Because the Sydney I fell in love with doesn’t exist.
“You do know. You see me—”
“I see what you want me to see. You’ve been pretending since day one.
Fuck. Why didn’t I understand that?” I rough a hand down my face, willing the tears burning behind my eyes not to fall.
“I figured you were protecting yourself. Not that you hated me and were only suffering through because you were hired to find the fuck sending me creepy-ass fan mail,” I grit out.
“Something I took care of when I sent Kendall home.”
Because Sydney wasn’t involved in that. And Scarlett hasn’t been heard from since Kendall went home.
“My team and I are still—”
I slice a hand through the air, cutting her off.
I’m done listening.
Fuck, I’m an idiot.
“So fucking me in the cabin? Just a perk of the job? A teenage fantasy fulfilled?” The words are out so quickly, so viciously, that I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to.
Maybe I do.
But goddamn it, it’s too late now.
She moves closer, and I hold my ground, unwilling to give her another inch.
“I slept with you because I was falling for you too.” The words aren’t loud, but they’re intense.
There, swimming in those green irises, is desperation. Remorse. She’s silently begging me to believe her.
But how can I? She’s been lying this whole time.
“You should be an actress. I almost want to believe you.”
“I’m telling you the truth,” she croaks.
I throw my arms out. “Why start now?”
“You’re an asshole.” She spits the words at me, then stomps toward the silent, wide-eyed camera crew.
Fuck. I’d completely forgotten they were there.
“Can one of you get me back to the ranch?” she asks.
Stop her.
That’s my heart, shattering into a million pieces.
I should have stuck to my plan.
I stay where I am, turning and watching the trickling water drop into the pool.
Looks like this place was only magical for Gramps.
For me, it’s a nightmare.
There is a crunch of tires on dirt, then the slam of a car door, but I still don’t move. I refuse to watch her drive away.
It’s your last chance. Stop her.
Sydney is the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
Sydney has done nothing but lie since she got here.
How does that make her any worse than you?
That doesn’t matter.
Doesn’t it?
“Cy?” I turn, finding Mara watching me with a wary look on her face.
There’s no sign of the car or Sydney.
“Is she gone?” I ask.
Mara nods.
I should be happy.
So why do I feel like shit?
“I’m done.” I feel older than Gramps right now.
I’m fucking exhausted.
“Of course. We can pick up filming again tomorrow. We’ll get through the compass ceremony and—”
“No,” I snap. “I’m done. Send everyone home. I’m done with the show. I won’t be choosing anyone.”
She takes a step toward me. “Let’s go back and talk to Julian and Roman. We can—”
“I’m done. No more.”
I had the real thing.
Or at least I thought I did.
And it fucking hurts.
I’m not doing this again.