Chapter Twelve
Spencer
I floated through the whole of Friday, barely paying attention to anything around me, which meant I nearly dropped weights on my foot at least twice. I wouldn’t have cared, except broken toes probably would have meant no adventures with Noah at the Castle, and that idea sucked.
Both Sean and Andrew had asked me whether Chris had mentioned the five-a-side thing to me, but I’d managed to shrug it off by saying I hadn’t really had a chance to think about it. Which was the truth. All my thoughts for the past week had been wrapped up in Noah.
My mind kept replaying my conversations with him from last night, especially the one where he’d said that going on a date would be cool.
Now I couldn’t stop thinking about wandering around the grounds of the Castle with him, doing the little pumpkin trail they did for kids and eating toffee apples.
Was it weird that I just wanted to hold his hand?
I felt like a kid all over again, getting giddy over the idea of holding Kirsty Mayfield’s hand and kissing her at the school disco when I was twelve.
Getting the words out and actually telling Noah what I wanted had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but his smile had been worth it. It was so pretty, and it just made me want to make him smile all the time.
“Spencer?” Will’s voice brought me back to reality, and I realised he’d been asking me a question, but I’d been so lost in thoughts of Noah I’d completely blanked on him.
“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. “I missed that.”
“What do you want to drink? Lane’s getting the first round,” Will said, nodding at Lane, who stood on the other side of the table getting orders from Oliver and Alex.
We were all in our regular corner of the Sleeping Goose for our Friday-evening catch-up, and although it was nice to see everyone, there was only one person I really wanted to see.
“Er, can I get a Golden Sand please?” I asked as Lane turned towards me. It was one of the pale ales Colin and Soren had on tap from a local brewery and probably my favourite of the ones the brewery had produced. “Is Noah not coming?”
“Alex said he’d be along in a minute,” Lane said. “He got held up at school.”
I nodded, trying not to look like I cared too much since that would raise suspicion, but I was also desperate to check my phone to see if Noah had messaged me.
We’d been chatting back and forth all morning whenever we’d had a spare minute, but I hadn’t heard from him since lunch when they were running the bake-off.
I really wanted to know how he’d done because the cupcakes had looked awesome when he’d packed them up last night.
“Got any weekend plans?” Will asked. He was a local farmer and had been in the same year as me at school.
We’d played football together, and we’d kept in touch when I’d left for London.
He was one of the first people who came to visit me when I’d moved home, depressed and drifting with my previously promising football career in tatters.
Will had turned up at the door with a shepherd’s pie his mum had made, a case of beer, and said, “This is a bit shit, isn’t it?”
He’d been the first person to truly acknowledge how much the whole situation sucked, and I’d just broken down on him, standing in my doorway, sobbing until Will ushered me inside.
We’d spent the rest of the night just chilling together, drinking most of the beer and eating the entire shepherd’s pie.
Will had made me feel human again, but he’d never taken any credit for it.
Because to him, that was just what you did for people.
Will was solid and dependable like that, and it had made me appreciate his friendship even more. If anyone ever tried to take advantage of him, I was going to have words because nobody was allowed to fuck over the most loyal and hardworking man to ever set foot in this town.
Now that I thought about it, I’d have to ask him whether he fancied joining Chris and the others since they were looking for someone else.
Will worked too hard, and we all thought he needed to get out a bit more, even if he always protested that farming didn’t leave time for much else.
But a kick about once or twice a week wasn’t going to kill him.
“Not really,” I said. “Going to make some more Halloween bakes for the shop and maybe try and go out on the moors for a walk. Noah and I might wander up to the Castle for their Halloween week.”
I wanted to keep my real intentions about our trip to the Castle vague, but once I’d mentioned it, I wished I hadn’t said anything at all.
Not that the date with Noah was a big secret, but I wanted to keep it to myself for a little bit.
My friends were so nosy, and once it got out we were going on a date, they’d all have questions.
And if, for whatever reason, it didn’t work out between Noah and me, I didn’t want my friends to feel like they had to take sides.
“Sounds fun,” Will said. “More fun than mine anyway. We’ve got to put the rams in with the ewes, and I need to check some of the fencing in the rear fields. I’ve been meaning to do it for a couple of weeks, but the ground gets so fucking soggy it’s hard to work on.”
“So you’re basically being a sheep pimp this weekend?” I asked with a wry smile.
“Don’t be an arse. But yeah, basically.”
“Who’s being a pimp?” Oliver asked from Will’s other side. I leant on the table and looked across at Will, gesturing at him with my hand.
“Will. He’s helping sheep get sexy this weekend.”
“Jesus Christ, Spencer,” Will said, rubbing his face with his hand and giving me a rueful grin. “Can you not?”
“Why?”
“Why is it,” Will said, ignoring me, “that this group’s conversations always end up being about sex or murder?”
I grinned, remembering the first time Lane had brought Oliver to the pub with us when he’d moved back.
I’d thought talking about creepy cellars and murder dungeons would be a good icebreaker—something to distract everyone from asking Oliver awkward questions.
It had worked, but nobody had thought it was a good move on my part.
Well, no one except Theo, but considering he was the sort of person who found gruesome podcasts about serial killers soothing, I wasn’t going to count his opinion.
“Because sex and murder are the most interesting conversation topics,” said Lane as he strolled over with a tray of drinks and set it on the table. “Also, it’s us, so why do you expect anything different?”
“True,” Will said. He picked up his pint and sighed before taking a long drink like he was casually reevaluating whether being friends with us was worth it.
“Why did you ask anyway?” Lane asked, pulling out the chair opposite Will. “Wait, is it time for you to get the sheep to start shagging again? Do you need to go round and put their harnesses on tomorrow?”
“Why do you have to make it sound so dirty?” Will asked, and I chuckled.
“Again, it’s us,” said Alex, his head appearing from Oliver’s other side. He must have then decided he couldn’t see because he stood up and moved around the table so he sat opposite Oliver.
“Harnesses?” Oliver asked. “I think I’ve missed something.”
“Yeah. Every year, Will has to put little harnesses on all the rams with these coloured pads on so he can see who’s knocking up who,” Alex said. He and Lane were both grinning, and Will was wearing a fond but exasperated expression.
“That makes sense,” Oliver said. “Is that why you just see loads of sheep with coloured patches on their bums this time of year?”
“Yeah,” Lane said. “Will is helping instigate a sheep orgy.”
He winked at Will, who gave him a pointed look and said, “How’s the frog?”
I frowned, suddenly confused by the change of subject. “Frog?”
Lane and Oliver groaned and glanced around as if they were checking to see who was nearby. “Theo gave us this stuffed frog for a housewarming present,” Oliver said. “It’s, er, well… it’s…”
“Creepy as fuck,” Lane finished. “It’s wearing fucking lingerie.”
There was a moment of silence, then Will, Alex, and I nodded. “Sounds about right,” I said, thinking about the assortment of oddities I’d seen Theo collect over the years. “Have you seen Theo’s mice? Or the raven?”
“Yeah,” Lane said with a small shudder. “The mice creep me out.”
“Are you going to keep it?” Will asked, taking another long drink.
“I think so,” Oliver said. “I can’t think how to get rid of it, and I don’t want to tell Theo I don’t like it.”
“He’s living in the spare room at the moment,” Lane said. “And he can stay there.”
“Who can stay where?” Noah asked, suddenly appearing through the crowd.
He was flushed and rumpled like he’d run to the pub.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The seat opposite me was still empty, and I grinned as Noah flopped into it.
Hopefully, when more people arrived, the conversation would drift into several separate ones, and I could chat to Noah by myself.
“Lane’s creepy frog can stay in their spare room,” Alex said. He shot Lane a teasing smirk. “Do you think it’s like a cursed doll? You’ll wake up one day and it’ll just be in your room?”
“No. And if it does, then you can have it.”
“Definitely not,” Alex said.
“You should get it a little Halloween costume,” I said, suddenly thinking about all those videos I’d seen of people dressing up random knickknacks in their house for various holidays. “Like a little witch’s hat or something.”
“It’s creepy enough by itself,” Lane said.
“I don’t know. That could be fun,” Oliver said. “I could get it a Santa hat for Christmas too!”
“I bet they’ve got some Halloween craft stalls up at the Castle,” Will offered. “You know, with the whole Halloween thing they’re doing.”
My heart sank, and I silently begged this conversation to deviate. “I bet you could get one online too,” I said quickly. “Like on Etsy or something.”
“The Castle isn’t a bad shout,” Oliver said. “Bastian had mentioned maybe going to check out the Fright Night thing since it’s his first year living here, and they never ran it when we were kids, so I missed out too.”
I glanced at Noah, and although his expression wasn’t giving anything away, I saw a glimmer of worry in his eyes. I’d really wanted this to just be an outing for just the two of us, but one wrong word and we’d be going with company.
Oliver looked around at the table, smiling warmly. “Anyone else want to come with us? We’re thinking of going on Sunday.”
“Didn’t you say you and Noah are thinking of going?” Will asked, turning to look at us. I glanced at Noah, wishing I’d kept my mouth shut, but it was too late now because I couldn’t deny it. Otherwise, I’d just look like a liar, and Will would twig there was something going on.
“Er, yeah, maybe,” I said. “We hadn’t figured out the details.”
“Why don’t we all go together?” Oliver asked.
He looked so excited by the idea that I couldn’t be mad at him.
He didn’t know it was supposed to be a date.
He was just being friendly, and saying no to him would just look weird because there was no reason for us not to go with them.
Unless Noah and I came out and told them we wanted to go together for romantic reasons, but we couldn’t just have a side conversation where we agreed on what we wanted to do.
This was becoming too complicated, and it was making my head hurt.
I didn’t like lying to people, but I also wanted the chance to get to know Noah without all our friends butting in and asking us how things were going or trying to offer advice.
Laurie and Theo might know how I felt, but that didn’t mean everyone else needed to as well.
I glanced at Noah again, who gave me the tiniest little shrug and nod. It seemed like he was thinking the same as me—we’d been cornered, and there was no escaping the inevitable.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “That sounds fun.”
“Awesome,” Oliver said. “Alex? Will? Want to come? I’ll ask Theo and Laurie when they get here too.”
“What about me?” Lane asked, shooting his boyfriend a wry smile. “Don’t I get an invite?”
“I just assumed you were coming. Especially because you said they always have fresh doughnuts.”
“Fine,” Lane said. “I guess I’ll come.”
“You don’t have to,” Oliver said. “I’ll go with Bastian and send pictures of all the food.”
“Nah, you twisted my arm. I’ve got to see if they’ve got good doughnuts.” Lane grinned and twisted in his chair to look at Noah. “Speaking of food, how’d the bake-off go?”
Noah shrugged and reached into his coat pocket, a small smile starting to creep onto his lips. “Oh, you know, I only went and came second.” He produced a little gold star and slid it onto the table. “Also got this.”
The star had the words Most Improved printed on it, and Noah chuckled. “Had to do a little bit of convincing because a couple of people thought I’d cheated because apparently my baking really was that bad in previous years.”
“Fucking hell, man. That’s awesome,” Lane said, clapping him on the shoulder as everyone else offered a variety of enthusiastic congratulations.
“I told you they were good,” I said. I wished I could reach over the table and take his hand. Anything to show him just how proud I was.
“Yeah, well, it helps when you have a good teacher,” Noah said, giving me a soft smile.
“Looks like all cakes are on you in future,” Alex said.
“Definitely not. I’m not that good.”
“You at least have to bring us some of these most improved ones,” Will said. “Don’t worry about the original ones, though. We can use our imaginations.”
Noah chuckled. He was still looking at me as the conversation dissolved into cakes and sweets and something else, but I wasn’t paying attention.
I was staring at Noah across the table, wishing it didn’t feel like an ocean, and imagining what it might feel like to kiss him.