Chapter Eleven
Noah
By the time six o’clock rolled around, I was starting to feel nervous, but this time it wasn’t over the idea of baking cupcakes.
It felt like tonight was going to be different, although I couldn’t put my finger on why I thought that.
It was just a feeling in my gut like something had drifted in off the wind from the bay.
A subtle shift in the air like the desolate calm before a storm, where you knew something was coming, but it was impossible to tell when.
I left Alex on the sofa, telling him I was going to bake with Spencer for tomorrow and not to wait up.
He’d raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
I didn’t know if he suspected something, but that was an issue I could deal with later.
First, I had to sort out whatever was happening between me and Spencer, then I could worry about what I needed to tell my best friend.
If nothing happened, then Alex wouldn’t need to know.
If it did, I could cross that bridge when I got to it.
It was dark when I left the house, and clouds skittered across the sky as I made my way across town towards Spencer’s.
My feet carried me without any conscious effort while my mind went back and forth about whether the signs I’d convinced myself I’d seen were real or just a figment of my desperate imagination.
Only I would read someone standing close to me or offering me help as akin to a marriage proposal.
I’d always been the sort to fall hard and fast because someone showing interest in me was such a rare thing. Every time it happened, I had a tendency to latch onto them, and it meant I’d pushed more than one man away by coming on too strong.
Maybe Spencer had just been standing next to me so he could keep a close eye on me and make sure I got the frosting right.
Maybe he’d stared at me when I’d licked up the icing because he’d been thinking about something else or even dreaming about a beautiful woman doing the same thing and imagining where that would lead.
I shook my head, chasing my thoughts away as I realised I’d arrived at Spencer’s front door. I knocked quickly, glancing around while I waited. There was the sound of footsteps on the other side, but this time, when the door opened, I was greeted by a sight that left me speechless.
Spencer was standing there shirtless in just a pair of ratty old shorts while water dripped down his chest. His blond hair hung around his face, still wet from where he’d obviously not long ago climbed out of the shower.
Words escaped me. I knew I needed to say something, but my mouth refused to open, let alone move.
“Hey,” Spencer said. “Right on time. Come on in!” He stepped back, and my feet carried me over the threshold as I continued to stare at Spencer’s broad, well-muscled shoulders.
He’d turned around to retrieve a t-shirt from over the banister, and I saw droplets of water clinging to the skin between his shoulder blades.
I wanted to reach out and run my fingers across them, connecting them like constellations.
“Sorry,” I said, suddenly finding my tongue. “I should have let you know I was on my way or come later.”
“It’s fine. I got back from the gym later than I meant to.” Spencer shrugged on a large, grey t-shirt, and I blinked for the first time since I’d arrived. “Have you eaten yet?”
I shook my head. “No, I was going to get something later.”
“Do you want something now? I can make us dinner while you bake.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you,” I said, not sure why I was trying to discourage Spencer from making me dinner.
“You’re not. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” Spencer grinned, and something caught in my chest. I nodded.
“Okay then, that would be lovely.”
“Sweet! Probably won’t be anything complex, but it shouldn’t be too bad.”
“I’m sure whatever you make will be delicious,” I said as I followed him towards the familiar warmth of his kitchen. It was becoming one of my favourite places to be.
“Cheers.” Spencer headed over to the fridge and gestured at the oven. “Knock yourself out. Oven wants to be about one-sixty for these. You’ll want the fan setting too. I’m here if you need anything.”
I walked across to turn the oven on, then dug two cupcake tins out of the cupboard next to it, placing them on the counter while I retrieved the science-themed cupcake cases I’d found on from my bag.
I started slotting the paper cases into place, smiling to myself as I did.
The pattern was cute with little microscopes and test tubes filled with colourful liquids and DNA double helices as well as some things I thought were supposed to be atoms.
They might not have been scientifically accurate, but they were fun.
“They’re cute,” Spencer said, appearing beside me to peer over my shoulder. “Very appropriate.”
“Thanks. I thought so too.”
“Are you okay with salmon? I’ve got some that needs eating. I was thinking of doing it with some mashed sweet potatoes and some veg.”
“That sounds delicious.” I looked across at him and saw Spencer smiling. He looked so happy like me just agreeing to have dinner with him had made his day. I didn’t want to tell him it had made mine.
“Awesome, I’ll do that, then. Do you wanna use the island to prep, and I can use this counter?”
“Sure.” I shifted the lined trays out of the way before going to retrieve Betty and the ingredients I’d need.
Spencer had told me he’d had plug sockets installed in one end of the island when he’d converted it into his Barbie dream kitchen two years ago because there were never enough sockets in home kitchens.
I’d thought about ours and realised he was right.
“How was your day?” Spencer asked as I began to weigh out butter and sugar while he started peeling two enormous sweet potatoes. “Are you looking forward to your break?”
“The day was okay,” I said. “A lot of the kids are ready for half-term, so it’s difficult to get them to concentrate, even if we still have to get stuff done.
” I poured the sugar into Betty’s mixing bowl on top of the room temperature butter and carefully turned the dial up to start the mixing process.
“And yeah, I’m looking forward to the week off, even if I’ll still have work to do.
I won’t have to get up at six every morning, so that’s one benefit. ”
“Yeah, the early mornings are killer. I’m kinda used to them now since on the days I’m baking or opening I’m usually up at four or five, but they were rough at first. I was like a freaking zombie for weeks!”
“I’m not surprised,” I said with a chuckle. “That sounds like hell.”
“Nah, you get used to it. Trick is a good early night. I’m definitely not one of those guys who can manage on like four hours of sleep. I’d be fucking dead in a week. Or like, really, really miserable.”
I glanced over at Spencer. “I can’t imagine you being miserable, not in that way anyway. Not like Alex if he’s tired.”
“Oh, man, Alex just gets mean when he’s tired.
He’s so cranky,” Spencer said as he grabbed a large, sharp-looking knife out of a block and started dicing the potatoes.
“Even more so than normal. He’s like… like a freaking honey badger.
Those suckers are mean, and they don’t give a shit. That’s Alex when he’s tired.”
I snorted. “That’s the most accurate comparison I’ve ever heard. I mean, I know he’s my best friend, but when he’s sleep deprived, I’d quite like to—”
“Throw him into the sea?” Spencer suggested with a cheeky smile. “Trust me, I tried that once. It just made him madder.”
“Oh, I remember that,” I said. I’d only heard about it second-hand since it had been during the summer holidays, and I’d been on my annual trip to see my grandparents in the South of France.
Alex had bitched about it endlessly via text until he’d hit his messaging limit. “I heard about it for days.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t my best move. I was kind of a dickhead to him, but I thought the water might wake him up.”
“I think that’s what brother’s do, though,” I said.
“Be kind of dickheads to each other. Although I’m an only child, so my evidence is pretty much just anecdotal.
” I checked the creaming cupcake mixture and realised it was nearly time to start folding in the flour, cocoa powder, eggs, and milk.
I’d already measured everything out in preparation, so it would be easy to move on to the next steps.
“Anyway, you get on now, otherwise you definitely wouldn’t be running Novel Tea together. ”
Spencer hummed and nodded. “So, got any plans for your week off? Apart from working and catching up on sleep?”
“Not really,” I said. “I might try to get out for a few walks, but that’ll be weather dependent. I should probably go see my parents too since I haven’t been over in a while.”
My parents still lived just outside Heather Bay in the house I’d grown up in, but I didn’t visit as often as I should.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love them; it was just that we didn’t always have a lot to talk about.
Although, since they’d inherited my grandparents’ place in France and now spent a good chunk of the year there, our relationship had improved because I could smile and nod while Mum filled me in on the lives of people I’d never met or barely remembered.
“Cool,” Spencer said. There was a nervous edge to his voice like he wanted to say something but couldn’t get the words out.
“Are you doing much next week?” I asked, hoping the question might prompt him into action.
“Not really. Just, er, just work and going to the gym. Probably make some more Halloween stuff for the shop, but that’s about it.”
I turned Betty off and slowly began adding some of the flour mix. I thought that if I didn’t look at Spencer, it might help with whatever he was working through. My heart was pounding, and I wasn’t sure if it was with excitement, anxiety, or some combination of the two.
“They’re, er, they’re doing that Fright Night thing up at the Castle next week,” Spencer said. “Like with food and ghost tours and stuff. I know a lot of it’s for kids, but it could be fun. Do you, er, fancy going? With me? Like, just the two of us?”
“That sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”
“Really?” Spencer sounded surprised, and I huffed out a little laugh before beaming at him.
“Yes, really.”
“Cool,” he said. “Cool, yeah, that’s awesome.”
“Yeah,” I said, trying not to let butterflies burst out of my chest Alien style. He still hadn’t said it was a date. Even though he’d added “just the two of us”, he could have meant just hanging out as friends, and I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. “It’ll be awesome.”
There was a moment’s pause while I let some of the flour combine and added a portion of the egg and milk mix to what was starting to resemble cupcake batter.
“I just, er, I…”
I glanced over at Spencer, who was staring down at his pile of sweet potatoes like they might suddenly contain the answer to life and the universe.
“Is everything okay?” I asked gently, wanting nothing more than to walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. But I didn’t want to crowd him either.
“Yeah, I just… So…” He turned his head to look at me, a quiver of fear lingering in his expression. My heart broke for him, and I wished I could skip through the next moment and tell him everything was just fine.
“I don’t think I’m straight,” he said quickly.
“Like I’m ninety-nine point nine percent convinced I’m bi or maybe pan?
I don’t know really. But, er, I… I like you, Noah, and I hope that’s not weird.
I mean, if it is, that’s cool, we can just be mates, but I was kinda hoping that this thing to the Castle could be a date?
With me? I mean, I guess it would be with me, but yeah… Is that cool?”
“Yeah, that’s cool. Very cool.” My smile was so big it probably could have been seen from space, but I didn’t care. Because I had a date with the man I’d been crushing on for nearly thirteen years.
Happy didn’t even begin to describe it.