Chapter Ten
Noah
I’d spent the start of the week avoiding Spencer.
I didn’t want to, but after everything that had happened on Saturday, I’d thought it would be good to put some distance between us.
I’d seen the way Spencer had looked at me when I’d licked the buttercream off the beater, and it hadn’t been anything like I’d expected.
I knew when I’d done it I’d potentially been pushing things. But there had been something going on in that kitchen, and I’d just wanted to see what would happen.
I’d been expecting laughter or maybe an eye roll, not Spencer staring at me with heat in his gaze like he’d never seen anything like what I was doing before. It had thrown me because I’d always thought Spencer was straight and had no interest in me beyond being friends. But now…
Now I wasn’t sure at all.
After that moment, we’d just carried on with the afternoon, but it felt like things had shifted slightly between us.
The way he’d been almost pressed against me as I’d attempted to ice the cupcakes, and later, when he’d brushed against me while we were clearing up, his hand lingering on mine for a moment too long as I passed him icing bags and spatulas…
none of them felt like moments between friends. But neither of us had said anything.
It was like we’d unconsciously moved into a state of limbo.
I didn’t want to be the one to take the next step, though. That had to come from Spencer, especially if he was figuring something out about himself. I didn’t want to push him because there was a good chance it would just make him run in the other direction.
I knew there were plenty of people who went through a process of discovery and exploration about their sexuality in their thirties and beyond, but everyone’s journey was different.
Some people were bound to find it frightening and push back against it; others were likely just to roll with it and accept it without batting their eyelids.
Given how chilled Spencer was, I’d assumed he’d be part of the latter category if it was indeed something he was experiencing. But I didn’t know that for sure. I couldn’t exactly read his mind.
So I’d decided that giving him some space was the best option.
Especially because there was a good chance it was all in my mind and my brain was just taking wishful thinking to a whole new level. At least some space would give my imagination a chance to get itself in check and stop conflating innocent touches with some illuminati level of sexual code.
Except it was now Thursday, and I needed to know whether it was still okay for me to use his kitchen that evening. I didn’t want to tempt fate and attempt to make cupcakes at home without Betty or Spencer’s watchful eye.
As soon as the last bell rang and I’d dismissed my class, I snuck into the science tech room that adjoined my classroom and pulled out my phone. Opening my message thread with Spencer, I tapped out something before I could think better of it.
Noah
Hey! How’s your Thursday? Am I still okay to pop round later and use your kitchen, please? =)
Spencer
Sure, no worries! I’ll be home about six, so come round any time after that!
Noah
Amazing! Thank you! See you later.
I let out a breath of relief and shoved my phone back into my trouser pocket. That would give me a few hours to go home, do a little work, shower, and try not to think about what this evening might involve.
It was hard to get my mind off it, though.
Now that my imagination had gotten a glimpse of the fact that Spencer might be interested, it had taken that idea and run with it, completely disregarding the fact that it might not be true.
And my attempts to get it in check had been like trying to catch greased weasels with oiled hands.
By the time I got home, all I could think about was the touch of Spencer’s hand on my wrist, guiding it slowly, and the way his body had felt next to mine.
All I could think about was what it would be like to have Spencer’s hand moving mine to where he wanted it, gently leading it up his thighs or down his stomach until I reached his cock.
Would he moan when I touched him? Or would there be nothing but a sharp intake of breath as he waited for more?
I dumped my bag on the sofa, knowing that I really needed to do a last bit of marking before half-term, but my restless mind dragged my thoughts away.
There was no way I was in the right frame of mind to do any work, but I still hesitated.
I’d always tried to avoid fantasising about Spencer in the past, despite my crush, because it always felt like crossing a line.
Nobody would have known except me, but Spencer was still my best friend’s brother, and he was straight. It had felt wrong on some level.
Now, though… Spencer was still Alex’s brother, but I was sure he’d shown interest. There was no way he’d have looked at me the way he did otherwise.
Was it so terrible to get myself off thinking about him? Just this once.
It would make this evening easier if I wasn’t trying to bake cupcakes with a raging hard-on.
“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself, heading for the door out to the tiny landing and the stairs. As I climbed them, I suddenly wondered if Alex was home. I hadn’t seen any evidence of him downstairs, but he could be taking a nap or gaming.
I knocked on his door as I passed. “Alex? You in there?”
No response. I knocked again and called his name louder. Still nothing.
That meant I had the flat to myself, and even though I wasn’t planning on being loud, there was an extra level of comfort knowing I was alone. Especially since I was planning on jerking off to thoughts of Alex’s brother.
Ducking into my room, I quickly shut and locked the door behind me, just in case.
My fingers were trembling as I reached for the buttons on my shirt, desperation starting to build under my skin.
I pulled my shirt off, cursing as the cuffs caught on my wrists, before unpopping the buttons on my suit trousers and shoving them down my thighs, leaving me in just my underwear.
I headed for my bed, quickly throwing off my boxers before I climbed onto the mattress.
My cock was already starting to fill as I thought about taking Spencer to bed.
Would he want to take it slowly at first?
Or would it be all heat and desperation as we finally gave in to whatever was happening between us?
I wouldn’t mind either way as long as something happened.
Lying back on the bed, I let out a shaking breath as I let my fingers skim down my chest and across my stomach. I was too wound up to take my time, so a cursory touch of my body would have to do.
“Shit,” I gasped out as I wrapped my fingers around my shaft.
It was thick and hard in my hand with precum dribbling out of the slit.
I slid my thumb across the head, smearing my precum across the skin.
I groaned as I slowly started to pump my cock, my hips rocking into my hand as thoughts of Spencer filled my head.
I imagined him lifting my thighs and pressing my legs into my chest as he pressed into me, splitting me open and barely giving me a minute to breathe before he started to fuck me. That was a delicious thought. But then I wondered if he’d wait until I told him to move.
A moan slipped from my lips as I imagined Spencer looking down at me, his face painted with desperation as he waited while his cock was buried deep within me. I wouldn’t make him wait forever, just long enough to make him shake with need, stretching out that moment until he was ready to snap.
And then I’d bring his head to mine and let my words brush over his ear as I told him to fuck me and make me scream with pleasure.
A dark voice in my mind whispered that Spencer was probably the sort of person who’d do anything to make his partner happy.
That he’d give me whatever I needed and do it without complaint.
A shudder ran through me at that idea. I’d never take advantage of him, but just the idea that Spencer would fuck me however I told him had flicked a switch deep inside me I’d only vaguely been aware of.
I’d never been the sort of man to want absolute control in the bedroom, but taking enough to get what I wanted sounded fun as long as Spencer was okay with it.
Although this was a hypothetical scenario, so technically, I could have whatever I wanted.
I gripped my cock tighter, my hips jerking sharply as I tried to find the perfect rhythm.
My brain and my body were at odds—one lost in fantasy, the other searching for the familiar.
I huffed in frustration as my pleasure rose and fell because I needed to get off, but what I was doing just wasn’t working.
Letting go of my cock, I sat up and shuffled across the mattress, reaching down to open the drawer under the bed.
Inside was a bottle of lube and a couple of toys I’d acquired over the past few years.
I’d never thought they were for me until an ex-boyfriend had convinced me to try some, and while the relationship hadn’t lasted, my fondness for toys had.
Grabbing the lube and my favourite dildo, I repositioned myself on the bed in a kneeling position.
The dildo was a simple one—thick and flesh coloured with a cup on the base I could use to stick it to a suitable surface.
Since my floor was carpeted and my shower was small, I didn’t actually have anywhere unless I wanted to ride it on the bathroom floor, but I’d found I could use it perfectly fine on my mattress.
It just sometimes required repositioning.
I squirted some lube onto my fingers, quickly opening my hole while stroking my cock.
Then I poured more lube onto the dildo and lined it up with my hole, slowly sinking down onto it.
I groaned as it entered me, closing my eyes and imagining straddling Spencer’s hips.
I thought about him resting his hands on my thighs as I took his cock into me, not allowing him to touch my cock or move his body until I was ready.
A shuddering curse rolled off my tongue as I lowered myself down, taking as much of the dildo as I could. It stretched me perfectly, adding just the right amount of burn and giving a new dimension to my fantasy.
“Now,” I whispered. “Now I’m going to ride you.”
I imagined Spencer whimpering and nodding as I started to move, sliding up and down on the toy faster and faster.
I tilted my hips and reached down to adjust the angle, then cried out as the thick head of the dildo immediately rubbed across my prostate.
I groaned, jerking my cock as I rode the dildo harder, working the shaft with my hole as waves of pleasure washed over me.
This was what I’d been missing, and now I knew it wouldn’t be long before I reached the release I’d been craving.
Another moan filled the room as my balls tightened, my cock hardening in my hand.
I was so fucking close, and I felt Spencer’s name on my tongue as the fantasy of fucking him consumed me.
I fought to keep it back, biting my lip as my orgasm hit me.
My body tensed as the delicious feeling of release flooded my body.
My hole pulled the dildo deeper into me as my cock shot thick streams of cum across my skin, dripping onto the pillows in front of me and leaving wet marks across the fabric.
“Shit,” I said as a deep sense of relaxation pulled at my muscles. It would have been easy to flop down on the bed and stare into space or doze off, still thinking about Spencer and wishing for things that were never going to come true. But that couldn’t happen. Not tonight.
Slowly, I eased the dildo out of my ass and dropped it onto the bed beside me.
My thighs were starting to cramp, the muscles shaking as I shifted out of my kneeling position and swung my legs off the edge of the bed and onto the floor.
I needed to shower and get dressed before Alex came home, and I’d need to change the sheets as well.
Just turning them over later wasn’t going to work for me.
But I allowed myself to sit there and indulge in my fantasies for just a moment longer.