Chapter Twenty-Three
Noah
“I can’t believe I have to go back to school on Monday,” I said, looking out over the beach where the Saturday afternoon sun was already starting to turn the water gold.
I’d met Spencer at Novel Tea when he’d finished his shift, and now we were walking hand in hand along the front with no real destination in mind.
“You sound like me,” Spencer said. “Except that was, like, twenty years ago? Wow, I’m getting old.”
I chuckled. “You’re not old.”
“I’m thirty-two,” he said. “That’s kinda old.”
“Only if you were going to die at forty.”
“I guess.” We’d stopped walking and were leaning against the beach wall. “Anyway, I thought you liked school?”
“I do. Most of the time anyway,” I said.
“Teaching is hard. It’s not just the kids; it’s the paperwork, the planning, the meetings, the marking.
There’s not nearly enough time to do everything at school, so I always end up working evenings and weekends and holidays.
Teaching doesn’t ever really stop. It really is one of those jobs you do because you love it.
” I chuckled softly and looked out over the beach.
“It’s definitely not one you do for the money or because you want an easy life.
I don’t even think half my PGCE cohort are teaching anymore. ”
“Why do you do it, then?” Spencer asked. His body was pressed against mine, offering me something warm and comforting to lean against. “If you don’t mind me asking? Alex always said you were the smartest guy he knew. You could’ve done anything, so why come back here to teach?”
I looked over at him and smiled. “Would it be cheesy of me to say because I wanted to make a difference?”
“No. Why would it?”
“I don’t know.” I’d never really talked about my job in detail with anyone other than Alex before, and we certainly hadn’t discussed my reasons for taking it.
I’d had a couple of professors at uni tell me they thought I’d be a good researcher or academic, but both of those careers seemed so strange and distant to me—like things I just couldn’t picture myself doing.
“Everyone always told me I could do these great things for science, but they never felt like my dreams. I’m just one man from a small town in Yorkshire, and I’ve always felt like I belonged here.
I know Oliver always had these big plans of leaving, and everyone said I needed to go out and live my life, but when I was a student, I missed being here so much.
I think it would have been different if we’d all gone our separate ways, but Alex and Lane were still here, and I missed them more than anything. ”
I paused for a second, trying to put the big, complex feelings I’d always had into words.
“When we were at school, there was this sort of… expectation, I guess, that the smartest people would leave, and that would be it. But I love Heather Bay, and coastal towns are often the ones that struggle most educationally because of lack of funding or students or good teachers. And I guess… I saw how many teachers wrote off kids in my class because they didn’t think they’d amount to anything more than just staying here, like that was an awful fate.
But also, I wanted all my students to know they can do whatever they want, no matter who they are.
So if they want to go to Cambridge, or be the first in their family to get a degree, then I will cheer and fight for them every step of the way, and if they choose to stay here, then I will cheer for them too.
I know I’m just a science teacher, but I want every one of my kids to feel supported, and I think that because I grew up here, I understand more than most what it’s like.
The world is big and scary, especially if you’ve never really been outside the Yorkshire moors, which is at least half my students, and I want to make the world a little less intimidating.
” I chuckled and shook my head, suddenly embarrassed. “Sorry, that was quite a ramble.”
“No,” Spencer said. “It wasn’t.” He leant over and reached for my chin, turning my face to his before kissing me gently.
“You’re amazing, Noah. Like, I already knew that, but now I just think you’re even more amazing.
You do this job, which sounds like the most stressful thing in the world, and you love it.
I genuinely don’t know how you do it. I mean, I just remember what I was like at school. ”
“I’m sure you weren’t that bad,” I said. “Besides, I went to school with Lane and Alex—it was like the ultimate rocker-class clown combo.”
Spencer snorted. “Yeah, I can see that. I remember Mum’s endless levels of exasperation with Alex. Neither of us were really academically minded.”
“Not everyone is,” I said. “And I wish more teachers would remember that. You just have to find something each person is good at. Look at you and Alex now. You own and run the most popular coffee shop in Heather Bay. That’s amazing.”
“Thanks,” Spencer said with an embarrassed smile. “Someone asked us today if we’d ever consider opening another location.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I don’t think Alex and I have ever thought about it before. I don’t even know how we’d go about it.”
“Do you think you’d consider it, though?” I asked.
“I don’t know? Maybe?” Spencer shrugged, then grinned. “I’ll do whatever Alex tells me. He’s the boss. I’m just one of the bakers.”
“I think you’re a bit more than that,” I said, nudging him gently. “But that’s awesome. Whatever you do or don’t decide to do, I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’ve built something incredible that people love.”
“Thanks.” He looked out at the beach for a second, where a terrier was enthusiastically chasing a ball across the sand.
“It’s funny. This might not have been the life I’d planned, but it’s still a good one.
” He turned his head and smiled at me, pure warmth radiating out of his expression. “Especially now that I have you!”
“Me?”
“Yeah!” He reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I know this is really new between us, like really new, but I’ve got a good feeling about it.”
“Me too,” I said. I could hardly believe this was real, and yet it was, and everything Spencer had said felt true. We’d been together for less than a week, but it felt like so much longer. “Maybe it’s because we’ve known each other for so long.”
“I think so,” Spencer said. “I just wish I’d realised sooner how fucking gorgeous you are. Well, realised that me thinking you were cute wasn’t a straight feeling.”
“Everything in its own time. That’s what my grandpa used to say.”
“I wish that my own time had been sooner, though. Then we could’ve had even longer together than the time we’re going to get.”
“Oh? And how long’s that?” I asked, wondering if it was too soon to be dealing in such absolutes.
I’d never had this sort of conversation with anyone before, not even in the two-year relationship I’d had when I’d moved back here to start teaching.
But this was Spencer, and everything was different with him.
He shrugged, still grinning. “I don’t know, probably forever if I get my way. Is that weird?”
“No, it’s not. I’d be happy with probably forever too.”
“Good, I was worried I sounded really creepy like I was going to kidnap you or something.”
“Wait,” I said, grinning as I remembered a conversation from one night during the summer.
The first night Lane had brought Oliver to the Sleeping Goose and Spencer had attempted to make him feel at ease in the strangest way possible by talking about which one of us was the most likely to have a secret murder dungeon and be a serial killer in their spare time.
“Does this mean you have a creepy murder basement you haven’t shown me yet? ”
“I mean, I wouldn’t say it’s creepy,” Spencer said. “But I do have a cellar. I was thinking about painting it green, but I don’t think that’ll work.”
“Hang on, all along you had a cellar of your own, and you never mentioned it?” I asked, almost unable to hold back my laughter. “Even when you said out of everyone I was the most likely to have a murder dungeon and get away with it? And you’ve pretty much had one all along.”
“I know. Pretty sneaky, right?” He winked at me. “I was thinking of turning it into a home gym. Right now, it’s just full of boxes.”
“I like that idea,” I said. “But definitely not green.” I leant against his arm and watched the terrier chase its tennis ball into the waves. At the other end of the beach, I saw a couple of kids kicking a football around as the sun started to sink lower.
“Hey,” I added, “you’re going to the doctor on Tuesday, right? About your ankle.”
“Yeah,” Spencer said. “I’m a bit nervous. At first, I was hoping they’d say I couldn’t play, but now I want them to say yes.”
“I’m sure they will. It’s not like you’re asking them to play in the Premier League again.”
“I don’t know,” Spencer said with a chuckle. “Some of these rec leagues can be vicious. I really hope I can remember how to play. I haven’t even touched a football since I retired.”
I watched the kids again, an idea forming in my mind.
Turning my head, I glanced along the row of colourful shops that made up the front.
A lot of them were seasonal and only open for a few hours in the off-season if at all.
There was one open now, though, and I could see just what I wanted hanging by the door.
“Wait here,” I said, letting go of Spencer’s hand. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Where are you going?”
“I just need to grab something. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Okay,” he said, sounding amused and slightly confused. “I’ll wait.”
“Great.” I kissed his cheek, then hurried off towards the shop, grabbing my phone out of my pocket as I did and tapping out a message to Alex that I then copied and pasted and sent to Lane, Laurie, Bastian, and Will.
The shop owner was just starting to take everything down and pack it away when I reached the door, but he was happy enough to grab me what I wanted: a large, yellow football.
I didn’t think it was regulation, but that didn’t matter. It was just to give Spencer something to kick about to see how he felt. I didn’t think his skills were the sort he’d completely forget, and while he might be a bit rusty, I was betting he was still better than anyone else I knew.
Declining a bag and thanking the shop owner, I hurried back towards Spencer, clutching my prize in one arm. He’d gone back to watching the beach, but as soon as he heard me, his head turned, and his eyes lit up in shock.
“A football? Why have you got a football?” he asked, his frown deepening, and it was adorable that he hadn’t quite twigged what my plan was.
“Come on,” I said, reaching for his hand with my empty one. “You said you don’t know if you can still remember anything, so let’s see what you’ve got. And this way, you’ll be able to see how you feel moving your ankle around before you go to the doctor.”
Spencer slipped his hand into mine, but he still didn’t look convinced. “What if… what if I suck, though?”
“Does it matter?”
“Er… I… I guess not?” He didn’t sound convinced, and I grinned.
“Exactly, it doesn’t. You can practice, and you can get better again,” I said.
“Besides, we’re literally just going to have a kick about on the beach, and you’re playing against me.
If I can even hit the ball, I’ll consider that a win.
Athleticism and I aren’t exactly best friends, unless we’re in a pool, then maybe I’d stand a better chance. ”
Spencer chuckled. “Okay, let’s do it.”
We walked over to a little set of concrete steps that led down to the sand.
The tide looked like it was going out, the few boats in the bay bobbing low in the water.
The sun was still sinking, and I reckoned we still had about half an hour of light before it would be too dangerous to continue.
The tide might have been going out, but everyone who’d grown up here knew never to mess with the sea, especially when it was dark or stormy.
I put the ball on the sand and gently tapped it with my foot, pushing it over to Spencer and giving him my most encouraging smile. “Go on then, show me what you can do.”