Chapter Twenty-Four
Spencer
As soon as my foot made contact with the side of the ball, it felt like all my worries melted away.
I gave the ball a gentle tap, nudging it from one foot to the other, trying to get a feel for the movement again. I knew I was going to be rusty, but as Noah had reminded me, if I sucked, then I could just practice.
But just feeling the ball there, against the edge of my trainer, brought everything flooding back.
There were no nerves, though; it just felt like my brain was dusting off some very old files and trying to reboot that part of my memory—like football ran on Windows XP, and I was now trying to run it on updated everything.
I tapped the ball again, harder this time, and sent it spinning across the sand. I grinned. It wasn’t quite what I’d intended, but that didn’t matter. I jogged after it and carefully manoeuvred it with my left foot, seeing how my ankle felt.
It helped that I’d always been right-footed, preferring to do everything with that foot rather than my left, which was the one that had been damaged. It meant I wouldn’t need to use my left foot for more than dribbling and the occasional pass if it came in at the wrong angle.
I moved the ball around, turning it in a small, controlled circle before looking up and around for Noah. He stood watching me near the steps, hands in his hoodie pocket, with a beaming smile on his face.
“To you,” I called, giving the ball a firm kick towards him with my right foot.
It skittered across the beach but didn’t end up too far from where I’d intended.
Noah walked over and nudged it with his foot like he was getting a feel for it.
It made my chest swell with emotion because this wasn’t Noah’s thing at all, but he wanted to do it for me.
I’d never felt this way about anyone before.
And I’d meant what I’d said to him, even if I’d tried to make it seem like I was joking.
Although this relationship was still brand new, I’d never met anyone that things felt so right with.
There was just something about Noah that made everything feel easy and like I could be myself around him, and he’d never want me to be anyone else.
In the past, I’d always thought I had to be a certain way in relationships like I had this image, this facade, I couldn’t let down because I’d never been convinced the person I was with would like what they saw.
But maybe because I’d known Noah for so long and I’d never been anything but myself with him, I didn’t feel like I had to be any different when it was just us. I could just be the same Spencer I’d always been.
I just got to show him new parts of me as well, and he seemed to really like those things too.
I grinned to myself, wondering if Noah would be up for coming back to mine afterwards for a quickie before he went home to watch another movie with Alex.
I didn’t begrudge my brother anything, and I didn’t want him to feel like I was stealing his best mate, but at the same time, I was almost annoyed I had to give up an evening of fun with Noah.
Mostly because I hadn’t had nearly enough time to explore his body, and I knew our time would be more limited once term started again.
“Okay, this is probably not going to come anywhere near you,” Noah said before kicking the ball towards me. It rolled my way with more speed than I’d anticipated, curling off to one side, and I had to jog over to retrieve it. “Sorry!”
“You’re fine,” I called, collecting the ball with my foot and slowly dribbling it back and forth, using some random shells as little markers.
I was so wrapped up in myself I didn’t hear anyone else approaching until Alex’s voice cut through my thoughts. “I heard you were looking for victims.”
“He means volunteers,” Lane’s voice added. “Come on, grumble bum. This’ll be fun.”
I glanced up, my mouth falling open to see all our friends walking down to the beach, all grinning and wearing trainers and hoodies. Even Will was there.
“What?” I asked, scooping up the ball and walking over to them. “What’s all this?”
“We heard you were practising,” Will said casually. “Thought you might like some people to practice with.”
“We can’t promise to be any good,” Laurie said, popping out from behind him.
“But we can try,” added Theo, who was bundled up in an enormous pink hoodie. “Wait, do we need to know the rules?”
“No biting of ankles,” Lane said. “And no throwing people in the sea.”
“No contact at all,” Oliver said. “This isn’t supposed to be violent.”
“Wait, we can’t even pull on people’s hoodies? Not even a little bit?” Lane asked. “How am I supposed to stop Alex from cheating?”
“What the fuck? Why would I cheat? How the fuck would I cheat?” Alex exclaimed, shoving Lane playfully. Lane shoved him back, and I laughed. I couldn’t believe they were all here. I wondered how they’d even known. It had been such a spur of the moment thing from Noah…
I glanced at my boyfriend, who was smiling quietly from one side of the group. He noticed me watching and shrugged. I assumed he’d put the call out when he’d gone to the shop. I just couldn’t believe they’d all just dropped everything to turn up and play with us.
“You always cheated when we were at school,” Lane said with a grin. “You used to move the jumpers and make the goal smaller.”
“No, I fucking didn’t,” Alex said. “That was you.”
“Wait, do we need teams?” Bastian said. He and Anders had just arrived.
“In which case, I’m going in goal,” Anders said. “Then I don’t have to run.”
“Oooh, there’s ten of us, that’s a perfect split,” Theo said. “I call dibs on being on a team with Spencer. He can be the captain of Team One, a.k.a. the best team.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?” I asked although I didn’t mind. I just loved how into it they were all suddenly getting, even though only a few of them had ever even vaguely expressed interest in sport before.
But this was what my friends did—they showed up for each other, no questions asked, because that was what you did when you loved people.
And I knew some guys hated using that term about any form of friendship, but it was the truth.
I loved these men with everything I had because I knew they’d always be there for me whether I’d known them all my life or just a couple of months.
I really was one of the luckiest men in the world.
“No,” Theo said. “You’re on Team One with me. You can pick everyone else, though.”
“We’re not picking teams like we’re in school,” I said quickly, not wanting anyone to feel left out. I’d never been picked last, but I’d always imagined it was a horrible experience. “Everyone can just choose where they go.”
“Wait,” Alex said with a wry grin. “Do we need a rule about couples? I don’t want to be on a team with Lane and Oliver if they keep stopping to make out every two minutes.”
“We’re not thirteen,” Lane said. “We can make it through one game of beach five-a-side.”
“Can you?”
“Don’t be a dick,” Lane said and nudged him again. “Fine, no couples on one team. Oliver, you go with Spencer. I’ll start making up Team Two. Alex, you come with me before you shove your brother in the sea. Noah, do you want to go with Spencer?”
“I, er, I can’t,” Noah said, speaking up for the first time since they’d all arrived. In the light of the setting sun, I saw colour tinting his cheeks as he smiled sheepishly at everyone. “Not with the no couples rule.”
I grinned at Noah and shrugged. We’d talked about telling more people, but we’d not figured out a when or where.
But this seemed as good a time as any. I walked up to him and cupped his jaw in my hand, the football still tucked under my other arm as I drew him into a dramatic kiss.
I turned to the group. There was a moment of silence, and everyone looked between us.
Then the whole group exploded in chatter.
“Ahh, I’m so glad you figured it out,” Theo said giddily, practically throwing himself into my arms for a hug. “I knew you would.”
“Wait. Did you already know?” Lane asked. “Who else knew?”
“I didn’t know know,” Theo said. “I didn’t know it was official or anything.”
“I knew,” Alex said grumpily. “Mostly because they won’t stop making out on my fucking sofa.”
“That was one time,” Noah said. “And you didn’t see anything.”
“I saw more than I needed to,” Alex said, but he was smiling. “You’re like my second brother. Imagine how weird that was for me!”
“Don’t make it awkward,” Lane said. “Okay, who else knew?”
“Will did,” I said, giving the farmer a teasing smile. “Because he’s psychic.”
“I’m not psychic,” Will said with a shake of his head. “You’re just really fucking obvious. I just can’t believe none of the rest of you noticed.”
“I had an inkling, but I wasn’t sure,” Oliver said. He was leaning against Lane’s shoulder, and the builder had his arm around Oliver’s waist.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lane asked, kissing Oliver’s temple. Oliver shrugged.
“I didn’t want to make things strange if I was wrong. And I figured if I was right, we’d all find out eventually when they were ready to tell us.”
“We weren’t going to keep it a secret forever,” Noah said, slipping his hand into mine and squeezing. “We just wanted some time to figure it out for ourselves before you lot got involved.”
“‘Got involved’? What do you mean ‘got involved’?” Lane teased.
“Come on. I know you,” Noah said with a soft roll of his eyes. “If you’d known, you’d have been constantly asking questions and offering advice and trying to crash our dates.”
“To be fair, they did that anyway,” I said, chuckling softly.
“Only because we didn’t know it was a date,” Will said. “You should’ve just said.”
“Wait, when was that?” Theo asked.
“Fright Night.”
“Ohhhh, I thought so! That’s why we kept trying to steal Alex so he wouldn’t interfere.”
“Oh my God,” Oliver said. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say anything when I insisted we all go together?”
“We were only just figuring it out,” I said. “And you’d still have come anyway.”
“No, we wouldn’t have,” Lane said.
“Eh.” Alex waved his hand, grinning. “We probably would.”
The sun was starting to set faster, and I knew we were going to be out of light soon. Noah must have realised it too because he clapped his hands, interrupting the discussion between Lane, Oliver, Theo, and Alex.
“Okay,” Noah said using his best teacher voice, which I had to admit was kind of hot.
“We can finish this later. Right now, we need to decide on teams if we want to do anything before the light goes. So me, Lane, Alex are part of one team, with Oliver, Spencer, and Theo starting the other. Where’s everyone else going? ”
“I’ll go with Lane,” Laurie said, sliding away from Theo towards where Lane and Alex had moved to. “I’m guessing that makes him the captain, then?”
“If you like,” Lane said. “But I’m not sure we need captains.”
“Yes, we do,” Theo said. “And this isn’t a competition, but the losing team are definitely buying the winners hot chocolate.”
“I’ll go with Oliver and company,” Bastian said. “Then Anders can go with Lane.”
“Only if I get to be in goal,” Anders added. “I’m too old to run.”
“You’re not old.”
“I never said that. I said I’m too old to run. There’s a difference.”
“Guess I’m with you, then,” Will said to me, giving me a nod and a smile. “Just like old times.”
“Just like old times.” I grinned, then looked around the group. “Let’s do it.”
We made a couple of quick goal markers out of sand and driftwood, and since I already had the ball, it was easiest for me to kick off.
Soon the beach was filled with the sounds of raucous laughter and swearing as we attempted to play some version of football.
None of us were very good, but that didn’t matter.
Just moving around with the ball at my feet was enough to start sloughing the rust off my system.
My body felt good, and the underlying worry that I’d touch the ball and somehow break in half hadn’t materialised.
Instead, all I felt was the sheer joy of playing again, and when I neatly slid the ball between the makeshift goal posts and past Anders, everyone cheered, and passers-by would have thought I’d scored the World Cup winner for England.
And while that might have been my dream once, I was starting to realise that this would be enough in its place.
Because I didn’t need a fancy footballing career with England caps to make me happy. I just needed my home and my friends and the man who was changing everything.
It was probably too early to say that I loved Noah, but I was going to think it anyway. Because nothing had ever been truer.