FALLON
The rental house Oliver chose is beautiful. There are five rooms, a huge kitchen, and most importantly, a pool in the backyard.
It’s a beautiful day, and I can’t wait to jump in. There’s also a small kitchenette, equipped with a grill, which I am so excited to use.
It’s going to be hard to get me back in a hotel after this sweet treat of luxury, that’s for certain.
Ozzy has given me free rein over cooking, and he’s promised to take me shopping after Pepper is done with her business. My mind is rolling through so many different possibilities, but first, we’re having a poolside barbecue.
For now, we bring Max into the bedroom we chose as ours, explaining the Journey situation, but we’re met with a lot of resistance on his part. It’s expected, they’re the oldest and have been together the longest on the crew. They’re tightly bonded, but this goes beyond brotherhood. Maybe it’d be different if he wasn’t actively on the website, but he knew who I was, and chose to consume the content anyway, with no regard for me, or Ozzy. It’s the ultimate form of disrespect, and we’re trying to convince Max of what we want to do.
“I mean, I understand. I get it, Fallon, but … this is Journey. I can’t just make this vote without speaking to him,” he says, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
Max and I aren’t the best of friends, and we’ve had our issues in the past, but his hesitation is beginning to piss me off.
The proof is there, and arguing, or going in circles about it, won’t change that fact. Frankly, I’m losing my patience, and this is going to happen, with or without his vote.
“Max, we understand, but it’s not changing anything. Before we head to Missouri, he’s gone.” Ozzy stares him down, not even blinking until Max concedes.
“Alright, alright,” he says, accepting defeat and leaving the room.
If it were up to me, I’d launch his ass out of the crew, too, but he’s basically the grandfather of the group, and I can’t reign down a power trip when I just stepped into the position.
“That was … fucking annoying.” I sigh, flopping onto the mattress, noticing how clean it smells.
“We knew he’d push back, it’s alright. Doesn’t change anything,” Ozzy says, joining me as I stare up at the ceiling.
“You should’ve just snapped his neck this afternoon,” I whisper, realizing how fucking terrible and insensitive that sounds.
“I can’t be the one to do it. I just … can’t have that on my conscience, Bambi. I’m sorry,” he confesses, and I completely understand.
I’d never ask him to do it, either. As angry as he is, or how betrayed he feels by Journey, there’s no circumstance where I’d ask him to end his brotherly relationship by killing him.
This is my burden, my trauma, and most importantly, my responsibility.
“I know, baby. I would never expect you to.”
“I don’t want you to do it either,” he replies, turning to face me.
“Well, someone has to. What do you suggest?”
“I don’t know … this is different. He’s someone we’ve been around, who’s been a part of this family you built. I just don’t want this to be the one that destroys us, Fallon. Our future is the only thing I care about,” he tells me, and I feel my heart breaking in my chest.
He’s right, but I also can’t stand to be around Journey any longer. He’s despicable, and it’s so personal that I can’t separate it from business, or think about my future without him clouding my mind.
“I know, Ozzy. I know. We have to see how everyone feels once we all get together to do this. Maybe we can just run him over,” I joke, and we both can’t help the laughs that escape our lips.
“That’s actually an idea I’ll toss in the ring,” Ozzy says, and we fall into each other, barely able to contain ourselves.
One thing about us is that we can find the silver lining in almost any situation. Whether that be with humor or our bodies, we always find a way to work through the heavy shit.
“I’m buying you the sexiest bikini they have at the store, my beautiful girl ,” he says, pulling me until we’re chest to chest, and I’m inches from his lips.
“I’ll let you pick your favorite, and let you watch me try it on,” I tease, tracing circles along his facial hair.
“You’re too good to me,” he groans, and I can feel the strain coming from his sweatpants.
We’ve been in such a good place the last few days, I can’t help but fall back into our old patterns. I feel good with Ozzy again, and it’s been so long since I’ve been able to let my hair down and feel the happiness radiate through me. We’re on the same page for nearly everything, and he’s been actively making the effort to remind me of what things were like before he left.
Earlier this morning, when he blurted out that he wanted me to marry him, I almost took his hand and ran to the closest courthouse. More than anything, I want to be his wife, but first, we have something to finish.
A score to settle.
A way of taking back what was stolen from us, and what we’ve lost along the way.
I haven’t told Ozzy this, but when I got the initial ultrasound, our baby’s due date was September twenty-eighth, and I think about that more than anything else. That’s the deadline, the goal for this all to be finished, before Angel would’ve been born.
I’m clinging to the happiness I feel, and for the first time in a very long time, I’m completely sober. My mind isn’t clouded, my nerves aren’t settled by alcohol, and I’m making decisions based on clarity. I feel great, incredible even, and although I plan to drink tonight, it’s leisurely, which is something I can’t say I’ve partaken in over the last few months.
I’m so happy to be back with these people – my family – and I’m never letting them get away from me again. This is where I belong.
A light tap on the door jolts me out of my thoughts, and it’s Olly, signaling that it didn’t go well, and Pepper needs us, right now.
God, my heart breaks for her. She was so brave, seeking out her birth mother, and I swear, if that woman said a syllable that made Pepper upset, I'll kick her ass myself. She’s insane, a brand that’s all her own, but she’s mine .
My best friend, my confidant, and most importantly, the reason I’m still here. If anyone so much as gives her a dirty look, I’m on the prowl, ready to hunt them down and hurt them even worse.
“Come on, Bambi. Let’s go get her,” Ozzy says, standing and holding his hand for me to take.
I follow him, my breaths coming raggedly as I’m so eager to see her, to make sure she’s okay. The car ride is short, but way too long at the same time. Fifteen minutes feels like two hours, but finally, we pull up to where Lex asked us to meet them, and the mascara-stained tears on her cheeks make me feral. I scoot over, making room for her on the bench beside me, and she instantly collapses into my arms.
“She didn’t even remember me,” she cries, and I brush the blonde locks from her face, holding onto her as she sobs into my chest.
“I’m so sorry, Pep. You have us, we are your family, and we love you.”
It doesn’t help, but I suspect that nothing will at the moment. Her heart is broken, and I completely understand that feeling, where you’re convinced that you’re unwanted and thrown away like you don’t matter.
“Fal, I want to get drunk and forget this happened,” she sniffles, taking deep breaths in between words.
“I’ve got you, Pepper. I promise.”
She’s fragile, and I can feel pieces of her breaking as she works through her emotions.
Ozzy directs Max to a store nearby, and everyone spreads out, picking out the things they need, while Lex takes Pepper to the candy aisle, promising to cheer her up with her favorites.
I’m focused on the meat section, choosing the best of the best for our barbecue, and being aware of everyone’s preferences.
Soon enough, my cart is full, and I have plans for burgers, hotdogs, ribs, and a homemade potato salad. I’ve also chosen various boxes of Jell-O, with the idea of sugary shots to accompany us poolside.
“Please, can I get this? It’s my favorite,” Ozzy asks, a childish grin on his face as he holds up another box of cookies.
He’s been following my every move around this store, cracking me up with his playful demeanor. Whether it be acting like a little kid, or tickling my ribs while I’m picking out ingredients, he’s been attached to my hip, and I’m loving every millisecond.
“No cookies, mister. You’ll get cavities,” I tease, and he stomps away, dropping them back on the shelf like a scolded boy.
“Is it time to hit the bikini section?” He whines, draping an arm over my shoulder as I push the cart.
“Yes, baby. You’ve been so patient.” I smile, leading him toward rows of skimpy bathing suits.
His eyes light up, a hint of lust behind them, and his hands rake through the racks, grabbing various options that he deems good enough.
He looks like a kid in a candy store, if that kid was over six-foot tall, with shoulder-length curly hair, and a devious grin painted on his face.
I follow his eager little self to the changing room, where he carefully undresses me, helping me into his first choice.
It’s a black suit, nothing too flashy, but I don’t like how pale I look against the darker fabric.
We go through a few more until one stands out amongst the rest, and it’s easily my favorite. A baby blue piece with a deep v-neck, and a cute little bow that sits between my cleavage. The bottoms match, with two smaller bows on each side of my hips. It’s perfect, and judging by the look Ozzy’s giving me in the mirror, he thinks so too.
It’s hot in here, like every inch of my skin is on fire, and adrenaline is pumping white-hot through my veins.
“You’re a work of art, Bambi,” Ozzy whispers, trailing kisses down my neck.
I watch as his eyes shut, and his arms wrap around my belly, pulling my body into his. Just before I pump the brakes, he curls his fingers under my chin, tilting my face to meet his lips.
“Ozzy –” I start, but he shuts me up with a kiss, and I’m a puddle in his arms.
It’s very much illegal to do what we’re thinking of doing in public but fuck it.
What’s the worst that could happen?
My hands reach for him, anything I can get a hold of as his fingers trail down my exposed skin, and through the fabric of the bathing suit. My breath hitches, and I moan into his mouth as he swirls around my clit, teasing me before plunging two fingers inside me at a rapid pace. I’m nearly knocked off my feet, but he sturdies me, whispering in my ear as he takes me into overdrive.
“That’s it, that’s my girl. Watch me fuck you in this mirror. Fall apart for me, Bambi.”
I’m a mess at his words, my body trembling as he crooks his fingers into the spot that drives me wild, and before I can scream his name, his free hand clamps over my mouth. Waves of pleasure roar through me, and I bite down on his rough skin to keep myself from calling attention to us.
Something about this, when we play in public, affects me like nothing else, and all I want is to give him everything I’ve got until we’re both a shaking mess.
I drop my hands to the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging my nails along his skin until I reach what I’m searching for. He’s rock hard for me, and with my free hand, I push him backward until he sits on the small bench in the dressing room.
“Fallon,” he groans, watching as I slip off the bikini bottoms, and climb on top of him.
“Watch me fuck you in that mirror,” I whisper in his ear, sinking my teeth into his neck as I lower myself onto him.
I tip my head back, feeling how far he stretches me, and I roll my hips, taking every inch he has to offer.
Our bodies move in sync, and the sounds of heavy breathing are muffled as we do everything in our power to stay silent.
Ozzy’s hands grip my waist forcefully, squeezing hard to stabilize me as I pick up my pace, grinding into him feverishly.
“God, Bambi. You feel so fucking good,” he says, bringing our lips together while we both fall apart simultaneously.
I feel his release fill me, and my legs shake on top of his as the orgasm nearly steals my breath.
I’m flushed with adrenaline, pleasure, and a certain brand of friskiness that comes when we steal moments in public spaces.
“So, the blue one then?” I ask, peppering soft kisses along his cheeks.
His smile is wicked, and his eyes rake over my chest, admiring the top once more before answering.
“Absolutely yes, Bambi,” he says softly, lifting me off him as we rush to get back into our clothes.
I leave the rest of the options hanging on the rack, and as we exit the dressing room, we find an audience waiting for us.
“Ma’am, Sir. We’re going to have to ask you to leave the premises,” a big, burly security guard says, his hand securing the weapon resting on his hip.
“We’re customers! I have groceries,” I bargain, but a stern head shake is all we get, and I see Oliver, Lex, and Pepper watching us from a few aisles away.
I drop the bathing suit into my cart, and we follow the guard out of the store, hand-in-hand with enormous smiles plastered on our faces.
“You’re banned from entering this establishment again, do we understand each other?” He asks as we reach the parking lot, and we both nod in sync.
I can feel eyes on us as we walk across the pavement, and I have to bite my lip to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter.
We just got caught fucking in a dressing room like two horny teenagers. The irony, and hilarity, of it is enough to launch me into madness.
“We were so quiet,” I breathe as we reach the van, and Ozzy breaks first.
His laughter roars through the parking lot, echoing into the breeze, and I can’t help but join him.
“Devious little demon,” he says, wrapping me into his arms and pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“ You started it. ”
As we trade barbs, Pepper, Lex, and Oliver are coming our way, gracefully pushing my cart full of groceries. Thank God, because there was no way I’d be willing to shop all over again.
“You owe me two-fifty,” Olly says, tossing the receipt in Ozzy’s direction.
“You two are out of control,” Lex adds, a small smirk on his face.
“The whole area could hear you guys,” Pepper whispers, her face bright red as she explains how loud we were.
Fuck.
I guess we weren’t as sneaky as we thought.
“Thanks, man.” Ozzy passes a few bills to Oliver, and just like that, the issues have been handled.
We pile the bags in the small trunk area, just as Journey and Max return from their shopping experience.
“You two,” Max says, a disappointed fatherly look on his face as he shakes his head at us.
We’re like the rebellious teens of the group, and I’m loving every second of it.
“Good news is, Olly saved the day, and the barbecue is back on. I’m also making Jell-O shots,” I say once everyone’s settled in their seats.
“My favorite!” Pepper squeals and I give her a quick wink.
“I know, Pep. Just what Dr. Fallon ordered for you.”
Once we’ve acquired the party favors for the night, Max follows directions to the house, and you wouldn’t think a dark cloud was hanging over all our heads, or that we’ve been running from the devil.
We’re light, care-free, and for once, fucking happy , even if it’ll be short-lived, like every other time.
I’m letting loose tonight, and relishing in what I’m feeling. The heavy shit will be left at the door because it’ll still be there tomorrow, and I’m re-learning how to live in the moment.
* * *
The tray of fruity shots has been demolished, and Oliver is in a cannonball competition with Ozzy, both of them splashing the deck with their landings. So far, Olly has won every round, but I’m trying to be a neutral judge. The food has been cooked and consumed, with everyone gushing about how good it feels to have a home-cooked meal again.
I can’t help but agree, missing the hustle and bustle of working in the kitchen. I’m sitting with Pepper on the patio chairs, the wine in our glasses filled to the brim, and we’re both drowning in the pure satisfaction that’s finally come from having everyone under one roof again.
“Are you going to k-i-l-l him?” She asks, spelling the word out under her breath.
“If you had the chance to do the same to the man who sold you, would you?”
“Yes. Just so he couldn’t do it to anyone else,” she whispers, sipping her wine slowly.
“Exactly. It’s the same thing, retribution, and prevention. Besides, remember when you caught him on my birthday? He was creeping on me, attempting to fulfill some twisted fucking fantasy he has about me,” I tell her, and she nods along, but the truth is, her pure little heart can’t handle this kind of thing.
I don’t even think the crew can handle this, as Ozzy and I are torn on how to deal with it as it is. I plan to pull Olly aside later, hoping we can come up with a plan together, without Ozzy’s emotional strings attached. That’s why he’s my number two, to avoid that relationship fog, but I have a feeling that’ll linger no matter who I speak with. This is as personal as it can get – for everyone else. I should’ve killed him the night I had a gun to his head, but alas, I can’t go back in time.
“I trust you, Fal. You’ll make the right choices,” Pepper says, holding her glass out to mine.
We clink them together, and I suggest it’s time we get in the pool. After all, I went through some pretty risky business to acquire this bathing suit, and I plan to put it to good use.
“There she is, come here my beautiful girl, ” Ozzy calls out, wading through the water as I slowly make my way down the ladder.
It’s freezing, but I’m sure it’ll warm up once my body adjusts. I can’t remember the last time I was in a swimming pool, and it feels freeing. Everything that’s been spinning around my mind is suddenly gone, and my only focus is letting the water carry me.
“Hi baby, having fun?” I ask, wrapping my legs around him as he lifts me up.
“Your cooking was incredible. The best it’s ever been, thank you, Bambi.”
“One day, we’re going to have a big house just like this, and I’ll be cooking every single night.” I smile, gently taking his face in my hands.
“I’ll get fat if you cook every night.” He throws me off him, launching me underwater, and I swim back to the surface, ready to kick his ass.
“You’re going down, amore mio .” I challenge, swimming after him as he tries to get away.
Just as he thinks he’s gotten far enough, I jump on his back, tackling us both under the water with a splash.
He spins around, jerking out of my grasp, and pulling me in for a kiss. I open my eyes into his, and even underwater, I can see the sparkle he holds onto that’s just for me.
I take a deep breath as we break through the surface, but am met with a huge splash right to the face.
Pepper and Lex are playing too, and he’s tossing her around the water like a rag doll.
“Chicken?” I ask, a sly grin creeping across my face.
“Don’t hurt her, Fal,” Lex warns, but I brush him off with a wave of my hand.
“I would never,” I say, waiting for Ozzy to lift me onto his shoulders.
“Fallon, you’re going to kill me!” Pepper squeals, but I might just let her win a round, my way of cheering her up.
Oliver waves his hand, signaling it’s time to go, and I latch my hands onto her wrists, shaking her around a little.
Lex’s grip is tight on her ankles, just as Ozzy’s is on mine, but one push is all it takes to toss her into the water.
“That was so fun!” She cheers, getting right back up for round two.
I lessen my grip this time, and make less moves to take her down, and finally, she claws at my thigh, flipping me into the water.
“Oh my god! I slayed the dragon!”
“Nice work, Pep!” I smile, her infectious laugh echoing through the trees.
“Alright, tie-breaker round! Next take down wins,” Oliver declares, and I don’t lose.
The game resumes, but before either of us can get a hand on one another, the boys drop down, dunking us both underwater.
Of course, I should’ve seen that coming, little tricksters.
“Oh you’re in for it now,” I tease, wrapping my hand firmly around Ozzy’s throat.
“Oh, Bambi. Are you inciting a shift in power?”
“I might be, you’ll find out later,” I tease, using my free hand to stroke his seriously sexy beard.
I swear, if I’m not captivated and weak in the knees for this man, I’m dead. Every single day I wake up beside him, and am reminded how fucking beautiful he is. He may call me his beautiful girl , but he’s more than gorgeous – he’s a masterpiece.
“You’re my whole world, you know that, right?”
“Yeah, baby, I do.” I take his hand, following him out of the pool, and drying off with a fluffy white towel.
I soak in the moment, smiling as I watch everyone enjoy this magical time. The sun is just starting to set, casting an array of yellows, oranges, and pinks through the sky, stealing my breath as I marvel at the remarkable beauty.
Mother Nature is a Goddess, blessing us all with her power, and right now, she’s putting on quite the show.
“May I?” Ozzy asks, motioning toward my nearly-empty glass of wine.
“Please.”
I watch as he wraps a towel around his waist, the droplets of water falling from his hair, and trailing down his body.
I’m mesmerized, almost hypnotized by the way he moves, until I’m snapped back into reality with his hand on the glass in front of my face.
“Thank you, baby,” I say, almost missing the shiny ring inside the glass. “What is this?”
A smile crosses his lips, nodding at me as I dip my pinky finger in the liquid to fish it out.
“It’s not an engagement ring. It’s a … placeholder until then,” he says, as I admire the stones in the light.
“What are you asking me?”
“If you’ll be my girl until this galaxy explodes and sends us to a new one,” he says, bending down on one knee as he takes my hand in his.
“Oh, Ozzy. Yes, I’ll always be yours,” I choke out, attempting to hold back the tears.
He takes the ring from me, slipping it onto my finger, and I admire how it shines in the light, the sparkly stones standing out against my skin.
This is my fairytale moment, my princess coronation.
“Oh my god! You two are engaged!” Oliver cheers, and before we can correct him, he pulls us in for a bear hug. “Mom and Dad, I’m so proud of you.”
Everyone comes around to offer their congratulations, but we choose to let them celebrate it as an engagement. We know what this is, and that’s all that matters. I’d call him my husband before I’d say he’s my boyfriend, and the fact that he solidified our promise with a ring only further reminds me that I’ve made the right choice.
“I love you,” I whisper, placing a kiss on his cheek as he holds me against his chest on this patio lounger.
“I love you more than life itself, Fallon.”
There’s nothing left to say, and I’m choosing to leave the past where it belongs. We’re back, better than ever, and there’s nothing I want more in this world than to be Ozzy’s wife. No more thinking about him leaving, or allowing my trust issues to have centerstage. He’s not abandoning me again, and I’m not going an inch without him beside me.
It’s Fallon and Ozzy against the universe.