Chapter Nine #4
“Now that’s how you have a fling, drop dick off and leave.
Don’t be out here selling a bitch dreams,” I complimented as I placed the stopper in the tub and went over to the mirror to survey the damage.
AK had knocked off my lashes, I had smeared makeup on my face like the Joker, and my wig was off.
I laughed at how ridiculous I looked as I removed the makeup from my face, did my skin care routine, and took down my straight backs.
I placed my natural hair into a ponytail and slid into the warm jacuzzi tub slowly.
The hot water relaxed my muscles, and I sighed as my body relaxed and my mind went blank.
For the first time in days, I wasn’t thinking about Cozart, the gym, the baby I wasn’t pregnant with, or none of the other drama.
Suddenly I felt a cramp in my stomach. I opened my eyes and looked down, and a little clot plopped out tinging the water slightly red.
“That big dick bastard knocked my period on,” I groaned as I washed up and got out of the tub. I knew that I wasn’t going to go swimming with a tampon, so I decided to switch my flight to today and head back home. This trip had done what it needed to do.
I slipped into a pair of black leggings and a tank top and drove to a nearby brunch spot to have breakfast. I had heard great things about Bacon Bitch, but the breakfast chain had exceeded my expectations.
The décor looked girly and pretty, the drinks were aesthetic, and the music was lit.
I decided to sit at the oversized bar since I was dining alone.
I ordered a mimosa and full breakfast and sat people watching until my phone buzzed.
It was an Instagram notification that told me Co had just posted on his Instagram.
I was just about to check it, but I decided that I wanted to hold on to peace for a little while longer.
I locked the phone, placed it face down, and said, “I’m not going to check it.
” My inner dialogue had come out of my mouth and an older woman sitting next to me laughed.
She was beautiful, and elegant, with a full head of waist length black hair.
She looked regal. She wore diamond rings on her fingers, but her ring finger was bare.
“Man trouble?” she asked.
“Is it that obvious?” I laughed.
She nodded, “You’re pretty and you are looking miserable talking about how you are not going to check something. That’s usually a man dear,” she sighed.
I took a sip of my mimosa and before I could stop myself, I spilled my tea to the stranger sitting next to me who I knew I would never see again.
“The bastard pretended to be married the whole year we were sleeping together. We never dated, never been to each other’s house, just hotel room and sex.
I accepted that because I thought he was married and that was all he could give.
The entire time this bastard has been separated and not even living with his wife.
Just hiding behind the ring. Is that not the dumbest shit you ever heard? ” I asked her angrily.
She nodded and tilted her head, “So why are you sitting here looking sad and upset and not out there moving on with your life?” she questioned like it was that easy.
The question irritated me because I knew the truth.
“I fell for him and he treated me like a secret. I thought I was pregnant and I told him. He told me to get rid of it. He has been texting my phone every five minutes asking if I’ve been to the doctor to see if I’m pregnant and if I am, when am I going to get rid of it?
The bastard offered to pay like that was the noble thing to do,” I spat as I sipped my mimosa.
“Did you go to the doctor and check?” she asked.
“Yes, and I’m not pregnant but I’m not telling him that. Fuck him he deserves to sweat for a while in uncertainty.”
“You caught feelings for him. He doesn’t care about you.
Men don’t hide women they love. They show them loud and proud for the world to see.
You have two choices, make his life a living hell, which won’t make you feel better or move on.
You have wasted enough of your time, and enough of your tears on him,” the woman told me.
The words sat between us, and they were heavy and painful, but I knew they were true.
“If he wanted a life with you, he’d build one.
Be glad that he showed you who he is before the kids came.
You win because you walk away with no baggage.
At first, it hurts then you’ll heal, but you have to start hurting so you can heal.
The longer you delay one, the longer you will delay the other,” she told me as she finished her drink and stood to her feet.
“You make it sound so easy,” I sighed as I looked down at my hands.
“You’ve got this, you’re strong,” she assured me as she sat the empty glass down and walked away. She walked over to the counter, paid her tab, then walked out the door with her hair blowing in the wind behind her.
I stared down at my glass as the woman’s words floated around in my head like a hot air ballon.
I could walk away from him if I wanted. I could delete his number and go back to Atlanta, or I could leave Atlanta and start over somewhere else.
I had done it a million times before, this time was no different.
I could forget Cozart Walker ever existed.
I could forget about the gym. Forget about Brick and Shelly, and sub lease my apartment for the year that was left on the lease.
Maybe God had spared me and not being pregnant was the blessing.
Maybe I didn’t need revenge, I just needed healing.
I finished my food and paid for the tab.
I could feel my attitude shifting as Mother Nature increased my estrogen levels.
On the ride to the airport, I decided that I would take the woman’s advice.
I was a bad bitch that could get any nigga I wanted.
I didn’t have to beg for scraps from a nigga who was incapable of loving anyone.