Chapter Two #2
I forced myself to hit send and let my head drop into my hands.
My family measured success in profit margins and market shares.
My parents drilled that mindset into me practically from the moment I exited the womb.
But sitting there, surrounded by the trappings of a billion-dollar empire, I’d never felt more unsuccessful or unsatisfied in my life.
My phone chimed, and like earlier, all I could think was, Alex. I grabbed for it with so much force, I bobbled the phone and nearly sent it flying across the office.
“Fuck.” One second of delay in getting to Alex’s text felt too long. When I regained control over the phone, I tapped the screen with my heart pounding like a heavy drum solo.
My mother’s name gleamed up at me from the lit screen. Not Alex. My mother.
My heart sank so fast my chest tightened to the point of pain. I inhaled through the discomfort as I opened her message.
Your father expects you for dinner tomorrow at seven. He cleared it with Donna. He wants detailed updates.
Of course he did. The stroke left my father weaker than a kitten, unable to even sit on his own in the beginning.
After undergoing intensive physical therapy, he was now able to perform basic tasks independently.
Activities of daily living, the therapists called them.
Feeding, dressing, and grooming tasks all required extra time.
Some needed assistive devices or minor help from my mom, but he was slowly regaining some independence.
What remained a challenge was speaking. The speech therapist noted that his expressive language was most affected, while his receptive language remained largely unaffected.
So when I told him about the failed prototype tomorrow night, he’d fully understand, even if it took him longer to process than usual.
Fantastic.
What were the chances I could convince Alex to come with me? Did a miserable evening with my snooty parents count as a make-up date?
Definitely not, but maybe we could duck out early, and I could spend the rest of the night groveling.
I responded that we’d be there.
Just you since we’ll be discussing business.
No.
Your father is so proud of you.
Any hope I’d built crashed through the fifteen floors below me, exploding in a ball of fiery despair at the ground level.
I leaped to my feet and stalked across my office, only to turn and trudge toward the windows.
Back and forth I stomped, spiraling until I probably wore a deep groove in the carpet.
It felt like the universe, my portion of the universe, was doing everything in its power to fuck with my relationship.
I didn’t want this. I wanted Alex, and I wanted to become a teacher. I wanted time to spend with my man, time to explore the path I chose, not one chosen for me by a man who valued money and status above all else.
I’d made a terrible mistake the day I agreed to step into my father’s role as CEO.
I caved to family pressure and let guilt dictate my decision.
The job was supposed to be temporary, not a career, but with each passing day, my role at the helm of this company felt permanent, and the life I desired slipped away a little more.
So did Alex.
I stopped in front of the window, staring at the Boston skyline bathed in twilight. Alex would love it. Had I ever taken the time to bring him here and show him the view? It was hands down one of the best in the city, and I’d never shared it with him.
My opinion of myself dropped another dozen notches.
As I turned away, unable to enjoy the beauty while in this mood, I inhaled, but the air lodged in my throat. I tried again to no avail, then again, but each time I sucked in, my breath caught, unable to fill my lungs in the way they demanded.
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes as I continued to struggle to breathe.
Loud, high-pitched gasps filled the empty room.
The sounds would have drawn my assistant and anyone else on my floor, had it not been after hours.
My staff had already departed for the day and would be home with their families or out with friends as they should be.
As I should be.
My back hit the window I’d been gazing out of only seconds before.
No longer could I contain the tears. They trailed down my face unincumbered as I fought to breathe.
Black spots danced across my vision. I needed to sit before I fell, but my brain no longer had control over my limbs.
All I could do was lean against the wall of windows and fight against the darkness.
I had no idea how long I struggled alone in my office, but it felt like an eternity battling dizziness and dread. What the hell was happening to me?
And then my body decided for me. My legs buckled, and I sank to the floor in a controlled descent, thanks to the window at my back. My ass hit the floor with a light thud, and I curled my arms around my bent legs, rested my head against my knees, and sobbed over the disaster I’d made of my life.