43. Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Three
Embla
A knock on the door cuts through mine and Thea giggles. We came back from the rage room and I feel like a new person, like I haven’t been able to enjoy myself in years. It’s like breaking out of my shell for the first time learning that I enjoy things I never thought I would. I don’t know how I’m going to thank Thea.
“I should probably get going anyway, I have a mission for the King I must leave for tomorrow, and I need to start making arrangements,” Thea says standing from where she lounges on my bed. I follow her to the door wanting to wish her a good night. When we open the door, I find a pot roast stew sitting on a tray in front of my door. Folded under the bowl is a piece of paper I’m sure has the name of the one person I want to avoid right now.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” Thea says sheepishly, slipping from my room and down the hall. I gather the tray and bring it in making sure the door shuts behind me before I set it on the table.
Em,
I don’t want you to starve, so I made this for you. I didn’t want to interrupt your evening. Please consider giving me another chance. I would love to take you out and show you some of the sights around the city.
Yours,
Roan
I pick up the fork, swirling it amongst the meat and veggies before scooping up a big bite and popping it into my mouth. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips as the savory meat mixes with the vegetables creating a flavor that doesn’t exist anywhere else. Maybe I should consider giving him a second chance. He couldn’t control that he was sent on assignment to Demendia and that was where we met. Maybe there is something there worth exploring. I finish the pot roast in under an hour. The warm meal settles into my stomach bringing sleep to the forefront of my mind. The sun outside has set a welcoming night to take over the realm for a few hours. My mind won’t let me escape the swirling thoughts of Thea and Roan.
I finally decide to leave my room alone and explore the place I’m calling home for now. I take the elevator into the veranda before wandering through the bar into the kitchen. It’s empty, the lights haven’t been turned on yet. When I locate all the light switches, I get started. Falling back into the routine I had in Demendia. The kitchen is huge, four ovens stacked on top of each other are built into the wall. A large island breaks up the open area and adds to the counter space. I pull out the pots, and ingredients I need and set to work, frying the sausage, scrambling the eggs, and I even made pancakes. When I’m nearly done, I start the coffee, and Roan comes wandering in and freezes when he spots me from the doorway.
“Morning,” he says cautiously. But I can see him eyeing the food I laid out in the breakfast nook off the kitchen.
“Morning, there’s coffee and I made breakfast for everyone,” I say, offering my metaphoric olive branch to him. “Thea has helped me calm down and gave me a place to manage my big feelings as she likes to call them,” I say calmly. I spent all night thinking about this after he sent dinner to my room. It was kind and thoughtful. It made me think that maybe there could be something here, maybe not marriage or whatever equivalent there is but a spark.
“That’s good, I’m glad it helped you feel better.” Roan steps into the room and makes himself a cup of coffee before settling at the table.
“I was thinking about what you said, how you only lied about where you came from and your position,” I say sitting in front of him picking at my fingers.
Roan nods.
“I’d be willing to let you court me.”
Roan's head perks up at this.
“I’m not agreeing to marry you or anything more than a courtship right now, but I do think I would be remiss if I didn’t give us a chance to get to know each other,” I say boldly, swallowing the nervous energy that tries to creep its way into my throat.
“I’d like that,” Roan says, surveying the table. “Did you make all of this just to tell me that?”
“Of course not. You sent me dinner last night and I wanted to do something nice for you as well as everyone else who has helped us get here,” I say as Augustus walks into the kitchen rubbing his eyes in surprise.
“This is going to take some getting used to, usually I’m the one who is up first.” Augustus pours himself a cup of coffee and joins the table.
“You’ve been so kind to host us and feed us, I wanted to thank you,” I say quietly and the boys dig in. A few more moments go by, and Astrid and Effie come walking in together. Both dressed in leggings and a tank top, stopping when they find the kitchen occupied.
“Do you want to join us? There’s enough for everyone,” I say and I can’t help the smile that crosses my face when they step in, make a cup of coffee and join the others around the table. It’s quiet at first as I clean, and they dig into the food. Then the conversation starts as a small trickle.
“How’s business here?” Roan asks, and once the question has been asked the conversation flows like a familiar buzz in the background as I finish cleaning the dishes I used to cook and join them at the table.
Astrid leaves to go practice something called gymnastics with Augustus, Effie trailing behind them, and Roan said something about business at the castle,Leaving me to clean off the breakfast table. Then, I offer any leftovers to those coming in for the morning shift. A fae woman with ruddy brown hair cut to just under her chin walks in, her grey green eyes strikingly familiar.
“There’s breakfast on the table if you’re hungry,” I offer pointing to the remaining sausage, and toast.
“I’m not here for food, my name is Alhena. I’m Augustus and Roan’s sister. I’ve come to talk to you about learning how to protect yourself.” Her voice is lower and sultry in a way that feels like velvet against my skin.
“Like to learn how to fight?” I ask, drying my hands on the towel before throwing it on the counter and moving out of the way of the kitchen staff as they try to get morning prep completed. “I’m not going to do that.”
“I’m not here to convince you of anything, I just wanted to impress on you the importance of knowing how to protect oneself in this city. There are fae here who would not waste a moment to torment you,” Alhena says, as she follows me into the main tavern and we find a table to settle into.
“I can’t learn how to fight, but I appreciate you trying to explain.” Alhena looks taken aback by my words and something steely slides over her face.
“You’re not tired of being looked at as weak? Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you have to always rely on a man,” Alhena snaps, and I can feel my anger spark, my hands clenching into fists over the top of the table.
“I’m not weak,” I say, pulling my hands into my lap. “It’s not ladylike,” I manage to spit out. “If I go home to my father, and put all of this behind me, no self-respecting Demendian man will want to marry me.” My anger grows with each word. “And if I can’t get married, will I ever become the mother I want to be?” Who is this woman who thinks she knows my life? Who does she think she is?
“Have you ever thought there might be more to life than finding someone to marry?” Alhena runs a hand through her straight hair. “Maybe there are things you could enjoy doing before settling down, before children.”
“Of course not. I’m the last of my peers to get married. I’m twenty. I can't end up like Astrid.” My anger is burning hot. “I must be successful at something. I was banished from the castle before we left, reduced to the second daughter of a nobleman, unable to pursue the life of a lady because, because ...” I seethe, running out of steam as the words get stuck in my throat at the thought of my beloved Phoebe.
“But you’re not in Demendia anymore. Things are different here.” Alhena’s voice has turns soft. “There’s so much more to life than Demendia and settling down. That’s coming from someone who has been married for a couple of years.”
“I’m just tired of being alone,” I admit, hanging my head, releasing my hold on my anger as it dissolves into vulnerability. My memory of being in the woods alone, Astrid unconscious in the dead leaves.
“Being alone can be a blessing.”
“Not for me.” Not when the ghosts of my memories won’t leave me alone in the quiet. Because Phoebe’s death, the punishments from finishing school, and that day in the woods cornered by faeries won’t let me rest. Won’t let me be happy, not when I’m alone and the quietest part of my soul wants to speak.
“Well, the offer will remain if you ever change your mind,” Alhena says, standing from her chair before making her way out of the tavern.