44. Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Four
Astrid
The morning with Embla was strange to say the least, but at least she’s trying to find her place in this new arrangement we’ve found ourselves in. Effie joined us at the gym for morning conditioning, but left saying she had some errands to run to make sure we have what we need for the trip to Scandes. Leaving Augustus and me alone.
“You want me to get on the tall one?” I squeak looking from the beam to Augustus. “What about that one?” I ask, pointing to the one that’s only two feet off the ground.
“You’ll be fine, I’m only asking you to walk on it. The worst thing that happens is you jump off to the side,” Augustus retorts, and I push myself up onto the beam, wobbling a little as I stand up straight. I put my hands on my hips and start walking.
“Your posture is all wrong, stand still,” Augustus says coming up close, his fingers are light and corrective as he presses my hips in and pulls my shoulders back. Every touch ignites my skin with electricity at the gentlest touch and my treacherous body responds in a way no one else can elicit. I lean into his touch wanting more as he makes these adjustments. My balance shifts until I’m toppling over the side of the beam on top of him.
His arms go around my waist pulling me to his chest as we fall backward onto the soft mat. “See, that’s the worst that can happen,” he whispers, reaching a hand up to brush a strand that came free from my face. He cups my cheek, and I lean into it losing myself in his warmth. Pure desire pools between my legs, and I can’t stop my hands from trembling at the possibility. I meet his green eyes, and they shine with the same desire. I want to lean in and feel his lips on mine, but too soon he is disentangling himself from me.
“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” I say, and he smirks.
“Well get back up there and try again. Remember you must stand like someone is pulling your spine up by a string in the top of your head,” Augustus says, and I nod, wondering if it’s wrong to want him as much as I do while my district suffers a plague, while my father, while Reyna is sick. Guilt gnaws at me as I get back on the beam, and I can’t help the quietude that seems to settle around me.
“What’s with you? You’ve been quiet since the beam,” Augustus says as we walk out of the gym.
“I feel like I could be doing more, I need to find a cure, but without the Master Healers , I’m just at a standstill,” I admit, desperation seeping into my tone.
“I actually have something that might help with that, do you have time for me to show you?” he asks, holding the door of the gym open. My curiosity is piqued, and I follow him out down the street.
The building Augustus leads me to is artistically carved out of an off-white stone. Elegant script flows across the building above the double doors that lead inside. Trees grow from the building wrapping it in leafy vines. It’s familiar in a way that tickles the back of my mind, like a distant memory I can’t quite grasp.
“Where are we?” I turn to see Augustus’s expectant face.
“The library,” he says, his voice is tinged with excitement. “Our city values knowledge. Our history spans back to the beginning. So, if you want to learn about something, this is the place to do it.” A smile spreads across my face, this is thoughtful. My heart thaws toward him, letting in the idea that maybe he isn’t as awful as I thought he was. I snatch up his hand before barreling into the library, dragging Augustus behind me.
The smell of ink, paper, and coffee fills the air, and my eyes follow the fae as they mill about. Some with books in hand, and others with coffee. A comfortable silence blankets the building. I scan the room, excitement and wonder fill me as I look over the bookshelves that cover most of the floor, interspersed with tables and chairs along with a few reading nooks peeking from the stacks. White columns hold up the ceiling, and busts are scattered throughout the edges of the room. A cafe is situated to the right of the entrance and boasts a sitting area with tables and chairs. A line of fae waits to order their coffee. I can’t help the smile that grows wider blooming across my face.
My fingers itch to flip the pages of any book here, I have so much I want to know and knowing there’s probably knowledge I can’t fathom that goes back centuries only excites me further.
“I don’t even know where to start,” I breathe. There is so much I long to know. If there's any record of the illness that has spread through the Farm District anywhere, who could my mother possibly be and where can I find her, and why did she leave me with Papa? Questions swirl through my head as I follow Augustus through the aisles of books.
“They have an organization system,” Augustus says, stopping in front of a table that holds only a keyboard. “Just type in what subject you’re looking for, and it’ll tell you where the books are.” There is no screen, just a keyboard. I hesitate, I have never seen a computer work without a monitor. I steal a questioning glance at Augustus, and he nods in encouragement. As I press each letter, they float through the air in golden sparkles. I watch the last letter of my query as it joins the rest. Illness given by wasps. Nodding to myself, I press enter and the letters rush off down one of the aisles. I look back at Augustus who chuckles. “You’re supposed to follow them.”
I sprint down the aisle, Augustus staying close as I follow the glowing words until they run into a wall of books and disappear into their spines, highlighting them. Unexplained Illnesses, Wasps and their sting , and a couple of other titles are highlighted on the row. It’s not what I expected, but it’s a place to start.
“There’s one more question I need to ask the keyboard, I’m just not sure how to word it,” I say, gathering the books into my arms.
“I suppose if you tell me what it is you’re looking for, I might be able to provide some assistance,” Augustus says, leading the way back through the bookshelves.
“Can you keep a secret?” I ask, lowering my voice. If he’s well-traveled as he seems, he may be more an asset than a liability.
“Secrets are my specialty.” Augustus turns away from the keyboard to face me, and I’m suddenly aware of just how close he is to me. How the warmth radiates from him, I want his arms to embrace me and to feel his touch against my skin, I wonder what his calloused palms would feel like against my breasts. His rough skin against my smooth. I meet his gaze, and I can’t help but feel intimidated by the wanton lust I find there.
“I found a stone,” I whisper. Augustus reaches up a hand to caress my face, like he can’t stand the thought of not touching me. “I found it in a hidden temple when we fled Demendia. I want to find out what it is,” I confess and feel some of the stress my body was holding on to release.
“You stole it?” His hand gently wraps around my throat pulling me to him. “That’s not something I would expect from you, you’re full of surprises aren’t you,” he purrs close to my ear. “Unfortunately, that is a good way to catch a curse or a hex.” He growls, his grip tightening.
“I touched it and I saw magic. It was like the orb was speaking to me. It claimed me as much as I claimed it,” I confess scrunching my face to explain what I experienced when I first found the stone.
Augustus takes a step back, something dark clouding over his eyes. “I can’t control myself around you,” he mutters, shaking his head slightly. “About this size?” he asks, holding his hands in the shape of the orb.
I nod.
“It feels warm when you touch it, and you feel compelled to speak to it?” He prods and I nod again. “It’s an egg,” Augustus says incredulously. “It could be from any number of reptilian underlings, and for some reason you have a bond,” Augustus says, pacing as curiosity laces his words.
“I’ll start there then,” I say, turning to the keyboard.
“I want to apologize for my first impression, you have an effect on me I can’t explain. I just want...” He reaches up as if he is going to cup my cheek again. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, his hand clenching into a fist before he drops it. “Get as much research done as you can, we will be leaving in a few days for Scandes, where you will have even more research to do, it’ll be good for the master physicians to have a place to start.” Augustus turns to sit in a chair at the table with the keyboard. “I’ll help you in any way I can and the King has commanded I keep you safe. I will make sure nothing happens to you while you do this,” Augustus says , his tone solemn and his eyes scan the rows of bookshelves around us for any threat.
I’m speechless as my hands hover over the keys in front of me. I’ve never had a man offer to help me before, not without it being for his own gain. But I don’t see what he would have to gain here. I’m hesitant, but nod my acceptance because I want answers about the illness, the stone, who my mother is, and what the hell is going on in Demendia. But I fear that not all those answers can be found in a book, but that’s not going to stop me from searching.
I spend the rest of the day with Augustus, scouring books. We read about basilisk eggs, which are large, cream-colored, and oval-shaped. Lavatose eggs, small and blackened by char, only survive if left to hatch in their volcanic environment. There are so many more that by the time I get to the fifth book, my eyes have become bleary.
“We’ve been at this all afternoon, and I haven’t found anything.” I slam the book closed on the page about Sobeks and tales of their violence. Augustus sighs in the seat across from me.
“The library isn’t going anywhere. Let’s head back to the tavern, it’s about dinner time already anyway.” Augustus collects the books that litter the table and disappears among the bookshelves one more time.
“Thank you for staying with me.” I rise to follow him out the front of the library.
“You may have been granted asylum, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t dangerous beings in this city, and I would rather know for sure you’re safe.” He slows his pace allowing me to catch up, and I walk quietly back to the tavern next to him. Thinking over everything I read and whether any of it would be useful.
“I had a visitor last night,” Embla says, moving to stir the three pots on the stove before checking whatever it is she has in the oven. I guess she’s taken over as the person who feeds us, while letting the other chefs cook for the tavern.
“Oh?” I ask, settling in at the breakfast nook to watch her cook. I know to stay out of her way, I’m lucky she lets me inside this kitchen while she’s cooking.
“Alhena was her name, and she wanted to teach me how to fight.” Embla’s voice is calm, but I can hear the anger beneath. “I’m not training with her, and you need to stop asking. Stop getting other people to ask.”
“How do you not get it? You are the reason Erik is dead. I wake up every morning thinking about him and his blood on my hands.” My voice is hard. “If you fought with us or gave any effort to protect not only yourself but the ones you claim to love, Erik might still be here.” Embla lifts her eyes to meet mine as I unleash everything I have been pushing down since we left Demendia. “You won’t even fight for yourself, we’re in a world that ’ s a whole lot more dangerous than home, and I need to know that you can take care of yourself. If something were to happen to you, I would never be able to forgive myself.”
“You already have me on house arrest, isn’t that enough?” Embla mutters, turning back to the dinner she is preparing. “Roan is going to take me out, he’ll keep me safe,” she announces, and I have to concede that the large fae will be able to do as she says.
“That’s fine, you can’t leave the tavern alone, I’ll let you leave with Roan,” I say frustrated knowing that I wouldn’t be able to come up with an argument as to why she couldn’t. Alhena is right, I won’t be able to force her into it. Not now.
“Ash, are you still awake?” Effie asks , sticking her head in the door of my room. I’m pacing the length of the window, rubbing my temples after a long day.
“Yeah, just thinking about the meaning of life,” I say and Effie steps all the way inside.
“Bad day?” she asks, flopping onto her stomach on my bed, pulling a pillow under her chest.
“There’s just so much—” I say, my hands bouncing with my words as I pace, “—going on. I have to worry about Demendia, but I also have to worry about my family’s secrets, and Embla. I’m the only person she has left, and I’m failing.” Once the words start tumbling out of my mouth, I can’t stop them. “Then there’s Augustus and he’s so hot and cold I don’t know what to think. He hates me one day and drawn to me the next.” My head falls into my hands, “I wish he would just make up his mind about what he wants.”
“We can’t do anything for Demendia until the Master healers get out of contemplation, that is why we wait,” Effie says quietly. “Every year they conference in the Scandes mountains and spend a week in silent solitude to consider if continuing in medicine is truly fulfilling their purpose. If the answer is yes then the physician moves onto the conference, if it is no, they are released from any contracts. It's important for their mental and physical health.”
“That’s what we’re waiting for,” I say and Effie nods. “We can’t go interrupt?”
“Not unless you want to insult the entire race,” Effie says, and I swear her eye twitches slightly just at the thought.
“But when the masters come together, I believe they will be quite interested in this disease you describe and willing to help you find your cure.”
“I just have to hope the people I love can hang on and live until then,” I mutter to myself, despair consuming me a little more. “I think I need to be alone,” I whisper, forgetting she was the one who came to see me, and Effie nods, leaving, followed only by the soft click of the door.