Chapter 5
Cole
There was a break in the fence around the eastern pasture.
An old tree had come down after the rain softened up the soil.
Thankfully it was mostly rotten and shattered as it hit the ground, but the fence still had a big hole in it.
For the moment the tree was blocking the cattle from escaping, but that wouldn’t last long.
Cows were annoyingly good at getting out of pastures.
I could give them all the feed in the world and they still wanted to run for the hills and freeze to death.
Sometimes I wondered if it was worth all the hassle.
I pulled out my phone, snapping a picture and making a quick note for the team.
They could get it cleaned up this afternoon and repaired before we had any escapees.
I glanced at the time, nearly six. Of course, I would’ve known that by the sun peeking over the horizon.
I’d been here my whole life, and I didn’t depend on a watch for anything.
But how much longer would I be allowed to stay?
I turned back in the direction of the house, following the footpath driven into the land from decades of foot traffic.
My mind raced, trying to make sense of everything that had happened since my father’s death.
It was a mess. The whole damn thing was a mess, and I was caught right in the middle of it.
Dad had thrown me a curveball from beyond the grave, and I still hadn’t figured out how to swing.
I kicked at a clump of mud, watching it break apart against a rock. The cold morning air bit at my face, but I barely noticed it. Physical discomfort was nothing compared to the storm brewing inside me.
Fifteen years I’d given everything I had to this land.
Fifteen years of sacrifices and putting the ranch before everything.
Before relationships, before my own happiness, before any chance of a decent life I chose for myself.
And now I could lose it all because of Jesse.
If there was one thing I was sure of, it’s that he wasn’t going to stay. He hadn’t before, so why would he now?
The worst part was that I couldn’t even hate him properly.
Sure, I was furious about the will, about him suddenly entitled half of what should have been mine alone.
But deep down, in a place I refused to acknowledge, there was something else…
something I’d buried fifteen years ago when he drove away.
Something that made me look out the window of my cabin each morning hoping to see his car in the driveway.
I shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts.
They were dangerous, always had been. Instead, I focused on the practical problems. Where would I live once the ranch was donated?
How would I make money? The only thing I knew was ranching and cattle and hard work.
I wasn’t sure I had it in me to work for someone else.
And what would happen to Evelyn? To the team I’d built and trusted to run this place?
My father had hurt them too. I wondered if he considered that before he wrote that stupid will…
As I crested the small hill that gave me a view of the main house, I stopped cold. There was an unfamiliar car parked out front. My eyes focused and I realized I’d seen it somewhere before, outside the lawyer’s office.
It was Jesse’s rental.
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered.
He was supposed to be at the hotel in town. I wasn’t ready for this confrontation, not yet, and definitely not this fucking early in the morning. But there he was, already making himself at home.
I considered turning around, heading to the south pasture instead to check on that pregnant heifer. But no. This was my ranch for the moment. I wasn’t going to hide from Jesse Harris on my own damn property.
Setting my jaw, I continued down the path toward the house, my boots leaving deep impressions in the soft earth. Each step felt heavier than the last, like I was walking toward an execution rather than breakfast.
The smell of coffee and bacon greeted me before I even reached the porch. Evelyn was cooking up a storm, which only meant one thing. She was happy to see Jesse. Of course she was. She’d always had a soft spot for him. Even so, it felt like a betrayal.
I paused at the bottom of the porch steps, drawing in a deep breath.
I didn’t know why Jesse was here and I certainly wasn’t going to entertain some foolishness about him living here for a year.
Whatever he wanted, he could say his piece and fuck off.
I didn’t owe him shit. As much as it made my heart hurt, I didn’t care. I wanted him gone.
I pushed open the door, the familiar creak like a warning bell.
The kitchen was warm and bright, filled with the scent of home that I’d tried so hard to forget.
And there he was, sitting at the table like he belonged there, a steaming mug between his hands.
I paused for a moment to hang my hat on the hook by the door.
Jesse looked up when I walked into the kitchen, those hazel eyes meeting mine for a split second before darting away.
“Morning, Cole,” Evelyn said cheerfully, flipping bacon in the cast-iron skillet. “Coffee’s fresh.”
I grunted in response, not trusting myself to speak as I moved to the coffeepot, keeping my back to Jesse. The silence in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.
“Mornin’,” Jesse finally offered, his voice cautious.
I poured my coffee slowly, watching the dark liquid fill my mug, buying time before I had to turn around and face him. But that procrastination lasted for only a fleeting moment. Eventually, I had no choice but to face him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice low and controlled despite the anger simmering beneath.
“I think that’s obvious,” he replied nonchalantly. “I’m staying.”
I turned then, leaning against the counter and taking a deliberate sip of my coffee. “For how long? Until you get bored? Until something better comes along?”
Jesse’s jaw tightened. “For the year. Like Dad wanted.”
“Don’t call him that,” I snapped automatically.
“Boys,” Evelyn warned, spatula raised like a weapon. “Not at my breakfast table.”
I glared at her, feeling betrayed all over again. “You’re taking his side? After everything?”
“I’m not taking sides,” she said firmly. “I’m making breakfast. And you two are going to sit down and eat it like civilized human beings.”
Jesse had the audacity to smirk at that, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe that look off his face with my fist. But Evelyn was the law in this kitchen. If she said this wasn’t the time or place, then that’s how it was.
“Fine,” I muttered, dropping into the chair furthest from Jesse. “But this doesn’t change anything. I haven’t agreed to this arrangement.”
“Neither have I,” Jesse said, surprising me. “Not officially. But I’m here, aren’t I?”
I studied him over the rim of my mug. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes and tension in his shoulders. Good. He should be uncomfortable. He didn’t belong here anymore.
“Why?” I asked bluntly. “You made it clear yesterday you didn’t want anything to do with the ranch. What changed?”
Jesse stared into his coffee. “I couldn’t just walk away. Not when it meant you’d lose everything too.”
I let out a harsh laugh. “Right. Saint Jesse, here to save the day.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Believe whatever you want, Cole. I’m not here to appease you. I’m here because it’s the right thing to do by Dad. He wouldn’t have wanted you to lose everything.”
“He didn’t want you to fuck off without a word for fifteen years either, but here we are.” I felt a sharp smack on the back of my shoulder. I turned to see Evelyn glaring at me, her spatula held like a weapon. “What the hell was that for?”
“Your brother is trying to do some right by you,” she chided, that stern motherly voice piercing through my anger. “Stop being an ass about it.”
“I don’t care what he’s tryin’ to do,” I snapped back. “And he’s not my brother. We ain’t blood.”
Jesse took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “You’re right, Cole. We’re not blood. And Jack wasn’t my real father.”
“Wait a minute—” Evelyn began.
“No,” Jesse said, holding up a hand to silence her.
“He’s right.” Jesse’s hazel gaze fixed on me, a fierce determination in his eyes that sent a chill through me that had nothing to do with the cold morning air.
“We may not be real brothers, but your father was the only Dad I ever had. And I cared about him.”
“Sure you did,” I scoffed.
“It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe it, Cole.
The truth is the truth.” He stood up from the table, pushing his mug away from the edge.
“But I’m gonna stay here whether you like it or not.
The only way you’ll get me to leave is if you tell Mr. Whitaker that you want the entire ranch donated.
If that’s what you want, then be my guest. Until then, I’m going to be in my room thinking about all the things I’ve sacrificed to try to save this ranch for you. ”
I slammed my fist on the table and Evelyn jumped behind me. Jesse, however, didn’t even flinch.
“What the fuck could you possibly have sacrificed that I haven’t given up a hundred times?!” I yelled, my voice nearly cracking from the strain. “You don’t know the meaning of the word!”
“I gave up my freedom, Cole,” he said simply. “My freedom from Hell Creek, from you, and from all the painful memories here. I gave up my job, my life, my friends, and my… my boyfriend.” He paused, letting his words sink in. “You’re not the only one who’s had it hard, Cole. Not by a long shot.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs.
I just sat there at the kitchen table, my jaw hanging open. Had I heard him correctly or was I just making it up?
“Did… did he say… boyfriend?” I asked, still staring at the doorway Jesse had disappeared through.
“That’s what it sounded like,” Evelyn replied, clearly unperturbed by this sudden revelation. She went back to her cooking, spatula scraping the bottom of the cast iron pan. “Shouldn’t surprise you though.”
“How the hell was I supposed to know he was a—”
Another sharp smack on the shoulder with the spatula. “Don’t you goddamn say that word in my kitchen, Cole Nelson!”
I rubbed my shoulder, staring back at her in disbelief. “I wasn’t gonna!” I sounded like a petulant teenager. “I was gonna say fairy, okay?” I paused for a moment, turning back to my coffee. “Did… Did you know?”
I could almost hear her roll her eyes. “You didn’t?” she scoffed. “It was pretty obvious.”
“Not to me.”
“Well,” she continued, plating the bacon and moving onto the eggs. “You boys are like my own kids. A mother’s intuition is nearly always right. I know a lot about you boys that you’ve never said out loud. You didn’t need to.”
“And you’re just okay with him being gay?” I spat before I could stop myself.
She rounded on me once more, that spatula held like a weapon. “Yes I am.” She narrowed her eyes, giving me the glare of the century. “Just like I’m okay with you.”
My gut twisted painfully, the whole world around me spinning. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“If you don’t know,” Evelyn sighed. “Then I don’t have time to explain it to you.”
“Explain what?” I growled, my heart hammering so hard I thought it might burst through my chest. The kitchen suddenly felt too hot, too small. “There’s nothing to explain.”
Evelyn just gave me that look, the one she’d been giving me since I was fifteen, the one that said she could see right through my bullshit. “Sure, Cole. Whatever you say.”
She turned back to the stove, cracking eggs into the pan with practiced ease. The sizzle filled the awkward silence between us. I gripped my coffee mug so tight I thought it might shatter.
“I’m not—” I started, then stopped, the words sticking in my throat like barbed wire.
“Not what?” Evelyn asked without turning around, her voice deceptively casual.
“Nothing,” I muttered, taking a long swig of coffee to buy myself time. “Jesse being gay changes nothing. He’s still the same selfish prick who abandoned us.”
Evelyn sighed, her shoulders dropping slightly. “That boy gave up everything to come back here and help you keep this ranch. Doesn’t sound selfish to me.”
“He’ll be gone in a week,” I said with more conviction than I felt. “He can’t hack it out here. Never could.”
“You don’t know him anymore, Cole,” she replied, sliding a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. “Fifteen years is a long time. People change.”
I stabbed at my eggs, appetite gone. “Not him.”
The sound of footsteps on the stairs made us both look up.
Jesse appeared in the doorway, his face carefully composed into a neutral expression.
He’d changed into work clothes, a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt that looked brand new, probably bought at the general store last night. City boy playing cowboy.
“I’ll need to know what my responsibilities are,” he said, addressing me directly. “If we’re going to make this work, I need to pull my weight.”
I snorted. “You don’t know the first thing about running a ranch. You never did.”
“So teach me,” he challenged, his hazel eyes locking with mine. “Unless you’d rather lose everything out of spite.”
The tension between us crackled like electricity. Part of me wanted to tell him to go to hell, to walk away from all of it. It wanted me to give up the ranch, the money, and him. But the bigger part, the part that had sacrificed everything for this land, couldn’t let go.
“Fine,” I growled, shoving my chair back from the table. “You want to play rancher? Let’s see how long you last. Meet me at the barn in ten minutes.”
I stormed out without waiting for his response, the screen door slamming behind me. The cold morning air hit my lungs like a shock, clearing my head slightly. What the hell was I doing? Agreeing to this insanity? To spending a year with Jesse?
With Jesse who had a boyfriend. The thought twisted in my gut, the acidic taste of jealousy burning the back of my throat.
All these years I thought he was out in the world dating women, thought he was the normal one.
And now I felt sick to my stomach thinking another man had touched him. A man that wasn’t… me.
As soon as I was in the barn, I threw the door closed, hot tears threatening at the corners of my eyes. I walked over to a hay bale, punching it over and over again, hoping the pain would drive away these feelings.
I wished I didn’t know… wished Jesse was straight. At least then I never would’ve had a chance. But now the secret was out and all it did was fan the embers inside of me, the ones that had refused to die all these years.
I was attracted to… to my stepbrother.