15. Shemhazai #2
“Hey, handsome, you want another?” the server who had been bringing me glasses of tequila for the last few hours asked.
I sighed and rolled my head back to look at her, grateful for the sunglasses I had swiped from a souvenir shop but even more grateful that her big ass head was blocking out the setting sun.
“Might as well.”
“You waitin’ for someone?” she prodded curiously, and I smirked at her.
“Why do you ask? Feeling lonely, sweetheart?” I purred, and her cheeks flushed pink at the insinuation in my tone.
She wasn’t difficult to look at, though she certainly wouldn’t know what to do with me if I bedded her. She was middle-aged, soft around the edges, and probably had a few kids running around at home.
Her makeup looked like she’d been applying it the same way since she bought her first stick of eyeliner, and she’d missed a piece of hair in the back of her head when she’d styled it that morning.
Fuck, I was pathetic.
Was I really thinking about fucking this random human mom?
For what?
To get back at Gabe ?
I was mad at him, but I couldn’t be honest with myself about why.
Suddenly, I was too tired to keep up with whatever stupid game I was playing. Gabe wasn’t here to see it anyway.
I sighed. “Yeah. Bring me another one,” I mumbled, and she scurried away to get me another tequila.
Picking up my half-empty glass, I took a big pull and watched tourists mosey down the street past the Village Tavern patio.
My mood darkened as I watched a disgustingly adorable lesbian couple embrace and share a kiss before heading into a nearby shop.
Jealousy swirled in my gut. I probably just needed to fuck something again…
Before settling on this random pub, I’d hunted the town for a sex club—or something similar—to lose myself in.
However, it turned out that the town of Salem was square as fuck, and I’d had to make do with shitty normal bars full of mediocre booze and even more mediocre people.
I hadn’t been able to actually bring myself to fuck any of them.
I told myself it was because they were all boring and pickings were slim.
Now, I was alone on this shitty pub’s patio, almost drunk and inexplicably furious that Gabe hadn’t bothered to even try to hunt me down.
Not that I wanted him to.
I needed freedom to roam—to do whatever I wanted without someone holding me back…
Which… was what Gabe was giving me… so why was I so fucking mad at him?
I downed the rest of my tequila just as my server dropped off a fresh glass, and then, I downed that, too, lazily rapping my knuckles on the table, indicating that she should replace it.
Maybe Gabe didn’t act like he was clingy… but he was.
Why couldn’t we just fuck without him making it all weird?
Like, what the fuck was that?
‘ I care about you, baby.’
My lip curled into a snarl as I remembered the tender way he’d said it, his citrine eyes full of something close to …
My entire body locked up as the ‘L’ word hung in the recesses of my mind like a fucking vulture, ready to feed on all the rotting walls I had built around my heart.
‘Sinners don’t deserve to hide their scars, Shemhazai.’
Raz’s voice bulldozed right over the soft memory of Gabe, and I audibly hissed at the sharp sting of the old trauma.
I’d spent centuries burying that shit, and lately, Raz had been clawing his way up through the depths of my mind, his sharp, feathered wings scraping at the insides of my skull, trying to get out.
The only thing that had changed—was Gabe.
I blamed him.
It was his fault all this bullshit was coming back to haunt me.
Fucker.
“Where’s that tequila!?” I hollered over my shoulder, but my squishy server wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
Panic started bubbling in my chest as Raz’s low chuckle rang through my head. I squeezed my eyes shut behind my shades and curled my fingers in my hair, tugging it hard enough that the roots stung my scalp.
‘Fuck off, asshole. You don’t own me anymore,’ I hissed at the phantom just as a shadow fell across my table.
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for like… almost a minute,” I growled, peeling my eyes open to glare at the server, only to find the man himself standing over me.
Gabe was looking down at me with a concerned look on his gorgeous face, and everything about him pissed me off.
I was pissed that he was here.
I was pissed that he hadn’t come earlier.
I was pissed that he was so fucking hot.
And I was pissed that he was looking at me like he was worried about me.
Pissed, pissed, pissed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snapped at him, and his lip twitched.
Of course, he was amused.
Rage bubbled in my gut, and I suddenly wanted to scream at him.
You said you cared! Fucking act like it!
Nothing ever bothered him, and I wanted to fucking cut him open and pull his goddamned guts out until he screamed.
Maybe then he would be bothered by something I did to him.
Maybe then he would really leave and stop fucking coming back.
It was only a matter of time anyway. I wished he would just get it over with.
“I have a present for you,” he said calmly, his smooth voice rolling through the half-drunk rush of anger that I was barely keeping under control.
It calmed me.
That steady, even tone suddenly wasn’t the cause of my anger but a balm that soothed it. It couldn’t be that bad if he was here, telling me he got me a present.
My toes curled in my Pradas, and I straightened in my seat.
The last present Gabe had gotten me had been epic as fuck.
He’d got me Krampy and the Yule tree I had needed to complete my event plans in Hell for the holidays.
His amused grin widened at my reaction.
Fuck, I was losing my touch. Was my excitement that obvious?
“What kind of present?” I asked suspiciously, sliding my shades down my nose.
“It’s a surprise,” he said, holding out an elegant hand.
I narrowed my eyes on him.
What was with him and always wanting me to hold his fucking hand?
“Let’s go, Shemhazai. It’s time to come home. You’ve pouted long enough,” he said, and my lips parted in surprise.
My mind couldn’t make sense of what the fuck was happening right now. Home? Salem wasn’t our home. Hell was… but the way he said it made me feel like he was implying that home was wherever he was.
I wanted to reject it.
Throw it in his fucking face to punish him for leaving me out here by myself for so long.
But… he’d gotten me a present.
Before I knew what I was doing, I tossed cash on the table and stood up.
Instead of taking his hand, I pressed my shades back up my nose and shoved my hands in my pockets.
There. Take that !
He just chuckled and shook his head before gesturing for me to lead the way back.
Back… home?
I shivered, resisting the urge to smile at the fact that he had really come to get me, and I let myself feel comforted by the fact that he was following me again.
I could let myself enjoy this. It didn’t have to mean anything…
‘Your pleasure is a sin, Shemhazai,’ Raz’s cold, detached voice rolled through my mind again, but I stuffed him back in the steel box I’d imprisoned him in long ago.
Fuck off, douchebag. I don’t have time for you.
My man got me a present.