Chapter 37
Hemlock
Knowing she has to walk downstairs to leave, I don't feel too anxious leaving her in that room alone.
As much as I would've liked her to just jump in my arms and insist on spending the rest of her life with me, I know that could end up backfiring. I need her to really think about what she wants rather than making a hasty decision now because I wouldn't survive her leaving later. It would already be nearly impossible to watch her go if that's the choice she makes right now.
Three pairs of eyes lock on me as I enter the kitchen, and I know each of them probably wants an explanation or to know what happened between the two of us, but I'm not as willing to share my personal business as Kincaid and Hound might be. I completely understand the Band of Brothers thing, but I never really got the urge to talk about myself, and today will be no different.
Hound chuckles and shakes his head when I walk toward the refrigerator without a word.
"We get nothing?"
I grab a bottle of water before turning to face them.
"I left New Mexico for a reason," I remind him before looking at Kincaid. "No offense."
"None taken," he says with that familiar easy smile .
The conversation we had earlier went from me wanting to crawl back to New Mexico because of how I feel about Zara to him offering me the presidential position here in Tennessee because this is a better fit for me. Needing to still have that connection to the club made the choice very simple for me. I'm not exactly sure what leading this branch of the organization entails, but I'm willing to work as hard as I have to to be successful here.
"Where's Ace?" I ask after a few seconds of silence, wondering if I'm going to have to work on my demeanor now that I'm a leader.
Fuck, I probably should've asked to read the fine print before agreeing.
"He left," Kincaid supplies, but I can tell from his tone that there's more to it than he just went home.
"He isn't too happy about the changes being made," Hound explains.
I nod my head. I knew the man wouldn't be happy, but maybe he just needs a little time to wrap his head around the new direction this part of the club will go.
"How does it look if ICE backs out?" I ask, wondering if this branch of Cerberus is dead in the water before it even takes off. Talk about the shortest presidential term ever.
"If Ace and ICE pull their assistance, then we use Max back in New Mexico to find jobs that need to be done," Kincaid explains. "We've always turned down most domestic jobs because we wanted to put some literal miles between our work and home. I always felt a little safer when someone who might have wanted to hurt the club had to pass through customs to get into the United States."
"ICE's help is definitely a benefit," Hound says. He's one of the team leaders from the chapter in New Mexico and is greatly respected by everyone. "But we don't exactly need them. We always knew this team would have to work with a little more finesse than we use in South America and other countries. "
"Technology is so advanced now. Had we known this is where we'd be, then New Mexico would've been handled much differently than it was. We didn't have much of a need for hiding who we are," Kincaid says. "We were a bunch of mean-looking bikers moving into a small community, and I didn't want people to be afraid of us, so we explained who we are and what we do."
I watch as he shakes his head. I know for a fact that he wishes things were different. New Mexico has taken a lot of heat and unwanted attention, because of both victories and losses. People are grateful when Cerberus was able to help, but get to a situation too late, and it's like the club was responsible for the entire situation, as if we were the ones who abducted someone and sold them to a sex trafficking ring. There's hardly any neutral ground, and all of that attention has made operations in New Mexico take a different approach.
They've had to expand their property and are in the process of closing off the land. Patrols around the place are a constant now, especially with Nathan Adair still on the loose. His son was killed and his stepdaughter betrayed him by falling in love with one of the good guys. I have no doubt the man is planning murder. With the popularity of Cerberus and anyone being able to find them in Farmington, it's not like Kincaid and the rest of them can hide.
They've gone from co-existing peacefully to having to take on a more tactical role to protect the ones they love. It's why this organization was planned to fight domestic issues in silence. Only people who need to know about us will, and even then no one will have all the information.
Kincaid assures me we can still do that and have lives of our own. It's not supposed to be any different for us than if we were undercover agents for one of the other branches of the military. We're supposed to be a black-ops sort of group that isn't working without impunity, but we're also not held to the same rules a local law enforcement organization would be.
Kincaid spoke of technology, and I know it's advancing every damn day. Face recognition software is becoming more mainstream, and it would be foolish to think that the bad guys aren't utilizing that. It makes what we're doing and how we'd like to handle things around here even harder. Technology helps us a ton, but it also aids sex traffickers as well.
The front door opens, pulling all of our attention, but none are alarmed. I don't know who I'd rather it be, but realize I'd rather deal with Ace when fucking Jersey walks into the kitchen with a wide smile on his face.
"Roman," Kincaid says with a smile, and I feel a tinge of betrayal. I watch as the two shake hands. "Glad you made the switch."
"Did you know he was put on the bar?" I ask, that cynical part of me already trying to find a reason to shirk the responsibility I agreed to take on by stepping into the presidential role for this Cerberus chapter.
"I knew he was working in the area, but he initially turned down the offer to join Cerberus," Kincaid explains.
"If we're part of a team, then I think we need to make sure others are aware of what's going on," I mutter, knowing I sound like a petulant child who's claiming something is unfair, only this is my life and safety not being disappointed that a sibling got more red gummy bears than I did.
"Huh," Kincaid says as he takes a seat back on the stool. "Sort of like I should've known you were considering leaving Cerberus and had Hound speak up for you in those meetings?"
I swallow as I look at Hound. The man helped me a ton by asking all the questions I didn't feel like I had a right to ask in front of the entire Cerberus team.
I lick my lips but don't offer a verbal response.
"Exactly, but you not having that information wasn't my decision. ICE has had their own teams on the ground around here for a while. This area is a mecca for crime because of the amount of tourists it pulls in. It's one of the reasons we wanted to put a home base here. We can tell who's local, who's just visiting, and who wants us to think they're just visiting while they are operating an illegal business. We're going to use the tourist industry around here against the criminals."
"Sorry about that shit back in New Mexico," I say, standing a little taller when I speak.
The man deserves every ounce of respect, and it's not just because of his position at the top of the organization. He has spent his life and made I don't know how many sacrifices to help others. Making him think even for a second that Hound was going to leave New Mexico with his daughter and grandkids was a shitty thing to do.
"It was a pretty fucked situation there for a while," Hound interjects. "I apologize as well."
Kincaid gives Hound a side-long look, but he doesn't seem mad.
"The second Pax stepped forward, I knew you were helping him, but I do think that this was a conversation we could've had in private."
Hound took a hit for me where his father-in-law was concerned, and that makes me trust the man even more.
Eventually, we all make our way to the living room, sinking into the luxurious leather couches.
We chat and the other four guys shoot the shit. When the topic of jobs comes up, I interject my opinion and ask questions where it's necessary, but none of these guys, not even Jersey, seems annoyed for me to just exist with them.
The sun has already set by the time Zara comes down the stairs, and the tension in my body seems to settle some at the sight of her.
I keep my eyes trained on her as she walks into the kitchen and gets an apple from the counter and a water from the refrigerator. I swear it's as if she already lives here. There's no fanfare. The guys aren't measuring her every move.
When she passes back through, I fully expect to have to just watch her walk right back up the stairs, but instead, she stops beside where I'm sitting on the couch and reaches for my hand .
Kincaid nods in my direction, as if he predicted every second of this, as I stand and follow her from the room.
I'm on pins and needles, the sting of them growing in my body, not knowing which direction this is going to go.