Chapter 13 - Maddox
I hated seeing Jillian like this. She was as white as a ghost, and she was still shaking. I didn't know what she was thinking, but I could see that it terrified her.
"What do you mean by your possession?" I asked.
Jillian shook her head, and I reached out, grabbing her face. I looked deep into her eyes. "Jillian, tell me."
"Why?" she whispered, looking broken. "You won't believe me anyway…you said I was lying about it. That I wanted to hurt Frank and Nina."
I felt it click into place. Jillian has been telling the truth. And I didn't believe her.
I suddenly realized that I had thought I was looking at a liar, that I was married to someone who held so many cards, knew how to fool everyone, when in truth, Jillian was far from that.
She was fragile and confused. She had suffered something that none of us would understand, and she'd done it alone.
"I believe you," I whispered, cupping her face. "Tell me…please."
I wanted to know the details. At least, I wanted to know a little bit as long as she was willing to share. I wanted to know what happened and what she was feeling. I could see she was thinking about it. She was back there, wherever she was before, and I wanted to help. I wanted to make it better.
I hoisted her up and carried her up the stairs. She leaned against me, her fingers wrapping around my shirt.
"I was in darkness for most of it. A voice kept talking. Saying I was worthless. That I was just a pawn in a larger picture."
Her fingers tightened on my shirt. "And then suddenly I was watching. I could feel that my hands were hurting Frank. That they were hurting Nina. I was doing it, but I had no control over it. I was like a puppet having my strings pulled."
I walked into her room and headed for her bed. I sat down on it, holding her tightly against me.
"I wish I could forget it. I hate that I did it. I hate that what people say is true. I did it. I did hurt Frank. I hurt Nina. I might not have been in control, but it was my hands that did this."
I took her hands, squeezing them in mine. "Your hands are clean. You did not hurt them."
"But I did," she whispered back. "It was my body."
"But you weren't there."
I reached back up, cupping her face. "You didn't do that, Jillian. You have to understand that."
I moved some of her hair back, looking deep in her eyes, unable to imagine the amount of pressure she had to be feeling.
How alone she must have felt in that moment.
I thought of how the Council had her locked up and how Katie had to torment her for information.
I hated knowing that she had been innocent but treated like she was a criminal.
"I'm sorry," I said, rubbing my thumb over her cheek. "But you're not alone now. I'm here and I'm never going to let that happen again."
"You can't promise that."
"I'll try my damn hardest." I moved my thumb closer to her lip. "And I'm not going to let anyone treat you like you're anything less than amazing."
Her eyes dropped lower, landing on my lips. I stared at hers, feeling a shift in the air. I leaned closer and softly kissed her. It was gentle, just a brush against hers. But that wasn't enough. I wanted so much more.
I moved my hand, cupping the back of her neck, pulling her closer. I deepened the kiss, needing to breathe her in. I needed to taste her. I needed to know how her tongue felt against mine and how her breath hitched when I did.
I felt her breasts press against mine, and her breath shifted, hot against my face. "You are beautiful," I said, kissing her once more.
"Brave." I kissed her again, pulling her tighter. "A fighter. A survivor."
I felt like I was drunk on every kiss I landed. Jillian was tightly gripping my shirt, her nails digging into the fabric. I moved my hand, dropping it on her hips. Her breath changed. The soft sound she had been making turned into a gasp, a shocked sound.
I stopped, feeling like I'd been punched in the gut. I stared at her and realized just how wrong this was. I wasn't supposed to be taking advantage of her when she was baring herself open and vulnerable.
"Shit, I'm sorry." I leaned back, taking a deep breath in, trying hard to ignore my hard-on. "That was wrong of me."
She placed a hand over her lips, seeming in a daze. I cupped her face and offered her a smile. "I'm going to let you sleep. I'm just down the hall if you need me."
Jillian nodded her head, and I pulled myself free from her. I moved out of her space and towards the door. I slipped outside into the hall and sighed.
" Fuck ," I grumbled as I leaned back, pressing my head against the wall.
Why did you pull away from her?
I ignored my wolf, knowing it wanted me to continue things forward with Jillian, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything when I knew just how vulnerable she was. Not when I knew everything now.
I headed into my room and stripped off my clothes. My cock ached, but I ignored it, trying to push it aside. A cold shower, and then I needed to sit down and look over some proposals.
I headed into my bathroom, turning the shower as cold as I could get it. I stepped under the water, allowing it to cover me. I was freezing cold by the time I stepped out, trying to clear Jillian from my mind.
After I got dressed, I sat down at my desk, trying to focus, but it was hard. My mind traveled to her lips and how she tasted. I thought of how soft she felt against me and how her fingers wrapped around my shirt.
I shook my head. "Jesus, focus, Maddox."
After an hour of not getting shit done, I called it quits. I headed upstairs and headed straight for bed. I crawled under the sheets and sighed, staring up at the ceiling.
I didn't know how to make this better. I didn't know how to help her. Jillian clearly was trying to make a place for herself here. I saw it in the way she spoke to people and how her eyes looked around the town. She was trying, and I wanted to help.
I rolled over and sighed as I stared at a photo hanging on my wall. It was a party that we threw when the guys and I were all first Alphas. We threw a get-together to meet other people in their pack, and so they could learn about mine.
An idea sparked, and I smiled suddenly, knowing how I could help.
I drifted off into sleep, and I was suddenly back in Jillian's room, but instead of stopping, we didn't. I moved my hand lower, placing it on Jillian's hip. She moved, grinding down against my dick. She moaned at the contact, her eyes looking at me with a pleading look.
"We should wait," I said, knowing I should give her space.
She shook her head. "No, I don't need to wait. I want you."
I was ripping at her clothes, and she was pulling at mine. I lay her down on the bed and pulled her legs onto my hips. She panted, moaning as I kissed her, running my hands over her naked body.
I was in her, thrusting deeply into Jillian, and she moaned loudly. Her nails digging into my shoulder, her teeth biting at my lower lip. She felt like heaven, and I couldn't get enough of her.
"Oh, Maddox." She moaned my name, her breath hitching. "Oh god."
I came hard, feeling her tighten around me.
My alarm blared and I jerked awake. I stared at my ceiling and felt my heart sink as I realized it was a dream. My cock, however, was hard as a rock.
"Fuck me," I grumbled, running my hands over my face.
Over the next couple of days, I planned a party. It was going to be for mine and Frank's pack. I worked hard, making sure everything was set up and that as many people as possible could be there.
I left work early and headed home. I found the house was empty, but the glass back door was open.
I stepped outside and saw Jillian standing a few yards away with a shovel.
She had already started ripping up the yard and planting some bushes alongside the trees.
She looked like she was in her element as she shoved hard onto the shovel, digging it deeper into the ground.
I watched her for a moment and couldn't help but smile. Things were going well between us, and I didn't know what the future held, but I wanted it to be good. I wanted to be something to her.
"Jillian," I called her name, and she looked up, a confused expression on her face.
"You're home early."
"Yeah. There's a party in a couple of hours that we have to attend."
Her eyebrows went up. "A party?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I put a party together for you."
She looked stunned. "For me? Well, you didn't have to do that."
"I did. It's a good way to get the word around that you're my wife. It's kind of a welcome for my wife at the pack party. It will be fun, but you might want to shower first."
She looked down at her dirty jeans and her muddied t-shirt. She pulled herself up and wiped her hands on her jeans. "I guess I should shower."
Jillian moved past me and headed up the stairs.
I headed to my room and changed into a nice suit.
I was just leaving my room when I heard Jillian step out of her room.
She was wearing a long, light purple dress that sparkled on the bottom.
She had let her hair fall freely, and she'd put on some makeup.
I was stunned as I stared at her, taking her in.
She blushed. "You're staring."
"I just…wow. You look wonderful." Her blush deepened.
I offered her a hand, and we headed out. I arranged the party to be held at the big hotel near the lake. We had it outside in the back, where they had a water fountain and a huge awning with tables and chairs set up.
Jillian's eyes widened as we arrived. "The parking lot is packed."
"Well, the hotel is probably busy, but I did invite as many people as I could."
She looked at me. "Why?"
I gave her a smile. "You'll see."
I held her hand as we headed around towards the back. Jillian took the space in her eyes, bouncing around as she tried to take it all in.
I spotted Frank and Nina by the punch bowl. Nina had their son Johnny in her arms. She spotted us and smiled, waving at us. "Maddox, this place is beautiful! How come we've never had a party here before?"
"We've never had a reason to."
Nina made a face and then looked at Jillian. "You look nice. I love that dress. Is it new?"
Jillian nodded. "I bought it on my shopping spree a couple of weeks ago."
"I'm a little jelly. Oh, the girls are at the table." Nina grabbed Jillian's hand and pulled her away. Frank turned to me. "So, what was the reason for this party again?"
I looked at everyone. "I'm making sure everyone knows that Jillian is my wife and I won't accept any shit."
Frank raised an eyebrow. "And is there a reason for that suddenly?"
"I caught some guys whispering to her in the woods. Freaked her out."
Frank frowned. "So, they were bullying her?"
I nodded. "Yeah, and I won't stand for it."
Frank nodded. "Okay, I understand why you're here, but why are we?"
"Because Jillian was a part of your pack, and I want everyone to know that she's got a home here. That we both support her."
Frank nodded. "Good call." He looked over his shoulder. "Does she know that's why we are here?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
Frank smirked. "Oh, so you're going to surprise her. This will be fun."
I rolled my eyes. "It's going to be great."
The party went along smoothly, and after an hour or so, I pulled Jillian towards me and cleared my throat. "I just wanted to thank everyone for coming. As you know, Jillian and I were married a couple of weeks ago, and I just wanted everyone to get to know Jillian."
Jillian froze next to me, her eyes snapped wide.
I gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm going to let you know that any rumors, any taunting, any bullying towards my wife will not be well received. Jillian is my wife and a member of my pack. She will be respected and treated with kindness. So, this party is for her. My wife."
Jillian turned to me and frowned. "That's what this is about? You outing me."
I frowned. "Jillian, I am not outing you. I am simply stating that you are my wife, and I won't stand for anyone treating you differently."
Before I could say anything else, Sam had already walked over, grabbing Jillian's arm. "Sorry to interrupt…. great speech, Maddox. I'm taking her now." She pulled Jillian, taking her away from me.
I swallowed, watching Sam pull her over to a group of people who all hugged Jillian. I knew that she had friends, and I was happy, but a part of me was jealous. She was so open with them, and I couldn't figure her out.
Last night was the first time I even saw a sliver of who she was, but that part of her was not here today.