Chapter Ten
“I can't believe you fucked your boss,” Elissa exclaimed, eyeing up the bouncer as we waited in line.
We'd been to two bars already, just to celebrate my new relationship. Okay, so we needed an excuse to hit the town hard on a work night and my boss had seemed like a good one.
“I didn't fuck him.” Placing a finger over my lips to shush her, I giggled.
I was just a bit titsy. No, tipsy. It wasn't a surprise after four vodkas.
Raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows, she stared and wobbled at the same time. “Sex isn't just about penetration, love,” she said, turning when someone urged us to walk.
Oops, the line had almost disappeared, and we hadn't moved.
“Come on,” the bouncer called.
“I'd like to cum on you,” Elissa replied, attempting a cute wink that actually looked like she had an eye tick.
The bouncer, a burly light-haired man, stayed stoic. He was clearly used to females hitting on him every night.
“Well, I wouldn't.” Reaching out to pat him on the arm, I smiled. “So rest easy knowing that you don't have to fulfil my fantasies. I already have someone to do that.”
His eyebrows flicked and the corner of his lip twitched. “Do you now?”
“Uh huh.” Grinning from ear to ear, I tried not to sway as someone pressed close from behind. “You're not my type at all.”
“Just go inside!” someone shouted. “Pissheads.”
Elissa took my hand and dragged me towards the door. I looked over my shoulder at the bouncer, trying to point to Elissa and put my hand up in a phone me gesture at the same time. Being a little drunk, I tripped and ended up winking instead.
Oh well, he would forget about me in roughly three seconds, and I would get to dance my little heart out.
Walking through the entrance, we smiled at the cloakroom assistant and carried on through the red carpeted lobby. The place was an old theatre – yeah, I know, kind of sacrilegious – that had been turned into a quirky club.
“Just need a wee,” Elissa announced, leaving me to go to the ladies.
I stood at the open double doors, listening to the sound of the rock band who played on the stage. The chairs had been removed and replaced with a dancefloor and plush sofas with small tables.
“I love this place,” Elissa exclaimed when she got back, hopping up and down.
I looked out into the crowd as the band started up a sexy synth song. The beat slunk into my chest, warming it like embers. And yet, my heart remained disconnected, hidden away so deeply, a constant state of sadness enveloped it.
“Fuck it,” I shouted, wanting to rid myself of the pain. “Let's get drunk and dance like we're never going home.”
Elissa threw one arm into the air and screamed, “Yeah, baby!”
Heading straight to the bar that lined the right side of the room, we ordered two drinks each, downing them before ordering another two.
“Let's dance!” Elissa moved away from the bar, almost stumbling into one of the tables.
The two men sitting there were dressed in smart suits. They eyed Elissa, smiling when she leant over one of their shoulders and apologised.
I took her arm and dragged her away, leading her to the dancefloor. My head spun as the guitar riffs accompanied by synths spoke to my body, making it want to move. Joseph was forgotten as Elissa and I danced, constantly spilling our drinks and laughing about it.
When the band paused to go into the next song, the two suited men appeared next to us. One of them took Elissa's arm and spun her around as the music started up again. The other raised his eyebrows at me and offered his hand. I could barely focus on his handsome face, but when Elissa giggled next to me, I placed my hand in his. I didn't want to destroy the mood... plus, it was only a dance.
“You look gorgeous!” the man shouted in my ear. “My name's Finley.”
Nodding, I smiled up at him before shouting back. “I'm Lola and I love this song.”
His chuckle vibrated his chest as he pulled me closer before spinning me around. The man could dance, which was a bit of a turn on, I had to admit.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked when the band announced a short interlude and normal background music came on. Elissa and her guy were already making their way off the dancefloor.
“I've got one, thank you,” I said, suddenly thinking of Joseph and his gorgeous face.
Those thick eyebrows rose again. “Do you?”
Glancing down at the glass I clung to, I sighed. “Oh shit, I spilt it all.”
How absolutely fucking funny. I burst out laughing as the man took my free hand and tugged me to join Elissa and her man at their table. Sitting, I turned to talk to him, but he had walked away and was approaching the bar.
“What do you do?” Elissa asked the friend.
I watched them as they flirted, her flicking her hair and fluttering her eyelashes and him puffing out the crisp white shirt that covered his broad chest.
Her natural beauty shone through as she laughed, the tinkling sound a reminder of the carefree childhood she'd experienced. Surely I could be less serious? Maybe Joseph would appreciate it if I learnt to be a little better at the art of flirtation.
“A drink for the lady,” my new friend announced, handing me a glass of white wine.
I didn't want to tell him that wine made me extremely drunk and stupid. Instead, I smiled up at him coyly – or so I hoped – and purred a thank you before taking a dainty sip. The bubbles burst on my tongue, adding to the sweetness of the delicious beverage. I’d have to let Joe know that there was a wine I actually liked.
“I'm not much of a wine drinker,” I said, leaning over when he sat next to me, “but this will convert me.”
He smirked and raised one eyebrow. “It's a fairly affordable champagne. Most of my friends only buy the most expensive alcohol, but I prefer the taste to the price. Some think I like slumming it.”
“Well,” I said, running a finger down his arm.
My unintentional touch made him shift closer to me. I'd only meant to test the quality of his suit jacket, just to see if he was speaking the truth. Alas, no, the material was expensive. “I'm pretty sure your cheap champagne would pay my rent for one whole month.”
Both eyebrows rose and he licked his lips. The heat that rolled from his eyes caressed my skin, making my cheeks warm. I wasn't used to the attention, but I liked it.
“Do you rent in London?” He eyed me as he downed his whiskey in one smooth swift flick of the wrist.
Sophistication was his middle name, it literally dripped from him.
Nodding my head slowly, I glanced over at Elissa. She was deep in conversation with her man – my brain swirled too much to even attempt to remember whether he had a name or not. Her eyes sparkled as she chattered, telling him of her wonderful childhood experiences. She really had a way with men. Glancing at her man, I paused... he wasn't staring at her, all googly eyes. In fact, he was staring off, occasionally glancing at her as she rabbited on. In the years I'd known my friend, I had never seen a man grow bored of her, certainly not within the space of a few minutes.
“If you're able to rent in London,” Finley interrupted my thoughts, “you're rich in my eyes.”
Blinking, I returned my attention to him, noticing the soft quality of his skin and the strength of his jaw.
“It is very expensive,” I muttered, trying to focus as the room spun around me.
He leaned closer and stroked my thumb. A shock made me pull away before I looked down at my now empty glass.
“I didn't mean rich monetary wise,” he said, reaching for my hand, “More like the experience of living in such an amazing city.”
“Oh, yeah,” I replied, waving my hand in an attempt to stop him from touching me. “I was abandoned at birth so every day I'm alive, I’m rich, if I'm being philosophical.”
His eyes flared with heat before he dropped his gaze to the table.
“Your drink needs refilling.” His statement was accompanied by a gentle stroke of my thigh under the table.
Jerking away, I grabbed the glass up, clinging on as if my life depended on it.
He glanced at me, frowning when he saw how tightly I held the fragile material. What was wrong with me? He was giving me all the signs of a flirtation, and yet, my whole body shook, as if I'd had an electric shock.
Relaxing my shoulders in an attempt to ease the tension within me, I reached my hand forward. Setting the glass down, I watched in slow motion as it missed the table and smashed on the floor around my feet.
“Sorry,” I murmured, so mesmerised by the shattering glass that I didn't feel the sharp pricks of pain as it embedded into my bare ankles.
My eyes widened when Finley jumped to his feet and pulled me up into a stand. His arms came around my waist and he lifted me, holding me awkwardly against his chest. Elissa and her man were also on their feet, looking down at the floor.
“I'll clean her up,” Finley shouted over the music.
Elissa glanced at the spots of blood that were forming on my ankles. “Bloody hell, woman,” she said worriedly, “You're going to bleed all over those cute sandals.”
Before I could protest, I was being jostled through the crowd on the dancefloor, rather unceremoniously. I clung to Finley, trying to still my spinning head. If I wasn't careful, my brain would go down the vortex of my drunkenness.
My stomach started to churn as the alcohol sloshed around, trying to escape up my oesophagus. Finley was still marching, taking me straight into the men's bathroom. I froze as he placed me on the ground and left me to go into a stall. When he emerged with a wad of tissue, I frowned, wondering what he was about to do with the scrunched up white material.
Blinking, I glanced around the bathroom, admiring the cleanliness of the place. I'd heard horror stories of men's bathrooms, and I had to admit, this one was as plush as a posh hotel. The sink surfaces were marble and the basins were stone. The huge, black-rimmed mirror hung over the sink, surrounded by a warm white glow of light. There were a few urinals, tucked in the corner, and even they were moulded from a heavy black stone. If the men's bathroom was so elegant, I wanted to see what the women's was like.
“Are you okay?” Finley asked, bending down on one knee in front of me.
I shifted to cross my legs, consciously pulling at the hem of my dress as his nose drew near to it. His palm cupped my calf as he wiped the tissue over the skin on my ankle. Small smears of blood streaked across the white of the tissue, shocking me into reality. I was so drunk, I couldn't feel the wounds from the glass.
“I'm fine,” I said, reaching down to take the tissue from his hand.
He knocked me away, snarling up at me as I stood upright. “Let me take care of you.”
Licking my lips, I stared down into his dark dark eyes. They were full of fire, burning into me as he stared right back. The tension heated between us, and I cleared my throat. “No one's ever taken care of me before,” I whispered.
Growling, Finley launched to his feet and pushed me against the sink counter. I grabbed hold of his shoulders as I slipped, almost toppling over. His hands gripped the edge of the marble beside me as he brought his mouth close to mine.
“You're a sweetmorsel that hasn’t been set free yet.” Running a finger down my cheek, he brushed the tip against my lips.
A shudder knocked his finger from my skin, giving me a second to breathe. Laughing nervously, I pushed his shoulder. “I’m not quite sure what you mean,” I said, swallowing when he stared into my eyes, “but we need to get back to our friends.”
A deep chuckle vibrated from his chest as he leant against me, pushing me back into the mirror behind the sink. My spine curved as the pressure of his weight almost crushed me. Flailing, I grabbed hold of his jacket, all the while laughing as if he’d told a silly joke. Inside, my nerves were on edge, a quiver making my stomach churn.
“Don’t pretend that you’re not looking for someone tonight.” His eyebrows raised as he moved back, pulling me with him.
Shaking my head, I waved a hand in dismissal. “A simple flirtation doesn’t mean that you automatically get… I don’t know, what is it exactly that you want?”
I was way out of my league, playing a game that I had never encountered before. Finley was a man of power, that much I could tell. Clearly, he had frequented this place often. Did that mean that every female he’d spoken to wanted to bed him? What was it with men and their entitlement? I thought the world had started to open their eyes to fairness but maybe not.
“Play with me,” Finley whispered.
His lips descended to my neck, puckering as he kissed slowly down my collarbone. An unwanted spark shot over my skin as I placed my hands on his hard chest, confusion making me pause for just a moment. That moment was enough of a green light for Finley. His hands slipped up my sides and over my breasts, groping as he lifted his head to press his lips against mine. As the scent of him, unfamiliar and dark, filtered up my nose, I froze before my strength returned and I shoved him, no longer laughing or even smiling.
A snarl curled his top lip as he ran a hand through his pristine hair, dishevelling it. “You want to play that game?”
My chest rose and fell as I pushed away from the counter and moved with my back towards the exit, keeping him in front of me. His bright red cheeks puffed and his eyes flared with a fierceness that made me shiver. I had never seen a man so enraged. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Not even close. I had just chosen to block out those memories. Seeing Finley so full of fury made my muscles shake. The bulging of his eyes was a reminder of the man who had driven me to self-harm. The man who was supposed to take care of me.
“I’m not playing any games,” I said, holding out my hands in surrender. “I don’t know you. I don’t want this and neither do you. There are so many girls out there, on the dancefloor, wanting what you have to offer. I’m just…”
Tears filled my eyes unexpectedly and I quickly swiped at them, trying to keep my composure so that he didn’t feel my weakness. I knew that showing weakness made me an easier target. It made it easier for the abuser to pray on his victim.
“Broken?” His simple one worded question made the skin between my thighs burn.
It had been a while since I had felt the need to self-harm, but the more he pointed out my flaws, the more drawn to the idea I became.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, his breath rasping, “I need to rescue you. I can see the pain reflecting in your gaze and it’s pushing me over the edge.”
The fear that shook me gave way to curiosity. The guy was attracted to my vulnerability. It was kind of sick.
“I’ve never needed rescuing,” I muttered, glancing down at the black lino floor. “Just leave me alone. ”
Turning, I took two steps towards the door before his hand gripped my elbow and he turned me roughly, slamming me into the wall. His body trapped me hard, blocking my way out by force. His hand gripped my chin, keeping me still as he slowly lowered his head, claiming dominance in such a simple manner.
Opening my mouth to scream, I inhaled. Before the sound could erupt from me, the door opened, and several security guards rushed in. Finley was hauled away from me and I slumped to the floor, my energy draining straight from the soles of my feet as relief flooded me. One of the bodyguards put a gentle arm under my shoulders and lifted me to my feet, urging me out of the bathroom. Finley’s screams cut off as the door closed behind us. Two of the security guards were still inside, clearly teaching my attacker the lesson he so clearly deserved.
My brain stalled as the security guard marched me through the crowd, only pausing when Elissa came at me from the side, asking all the questions and glaring at the security guard as he escorted me to the exit of the club.
“What’s going on?” Elissa shouted as the man walked me towards a waiting taxi and ordered me to get in .
Too dazed to refuse, I climbed in, huddling in on myself as the cold darkness of my memories rushed into my brain, whirling and chilling me to the core. Elissa was beside me, gripping my hand and trying to get me to talk. I couldn’t, I was too frozen, too afraid at what might happen if I allowed myself to process what had just happened.
“Take them home,” the security guard ordered, throwing a wad of cash to the driver, “and make sure they get inside.”
Something about the hardness of the man’s eyes made me shrink back even more. There was accusation in his gaze as he glared before slamming his hand on the roof of the car. Surely he didn’t believe that I’d encouraged Finley to attack me? No. No, he wouldn’t have rescued me if he thought that I’d deserved being treated that way.
“Lola!” Elissa snapped in my face, “Tell me what fucking happened, now.”
Her angry tone made me blink and I shook my head, stifling a laugh. This sort of thing had always happened in my life. I was a victim, yet a-fucking-gain. And yet, it was my fault. Why else would people take advantage?
“Nothing,” I whispered, feeling manic as a smile broke out on my lips. “Just a little misunderstanding between myself and… ”
“And…?” Elissa’s smooth forehead creased.
“The gorgeous security guy who didn’t like being groped, that’s all.”
Huffing, Elissa sat back and stared out of the window, her eyebrows pulled low. She knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t telling the full truth. She also knew me well enough to not push when I wasn’t ready to talk. It wasn’t healthy to hold emotions in, and yet, I did… just like I had my whole life. It was the only way I knew. It was the only way to survive.