Chapter Eleven
Don’t go to the office this morning , Joseph texted, head to this address. I have a job and need assistance.
My hand froze in mid-air, the jangling keys echoing as I held my breath. The cold of the car made the air a little misty, but the chill that jumped down my spine wasn’t caused by the cool morning. The address that flashed up, just seconds before I was going to start the car engine, was the reason I gawped like a fish.
“What the fuck?” I whispered, finally shoving the keys in the ignition and firing up the engine.
Apparently, Joseph had a job at the club. Like… the club I had been thrown out of for being sexually harassed… just the night before. What were the chances ?
The heater blasted on, and I started to drive, knowing exactly where I was going. My heartbeat resounded in my head as I remembered the blurred memories of Finley pushing me against the sink. Luckily, my drunkenness had marred the vivid detail, which made it easier to pull into the road where the club stood.
Who was I fucking kidding? I hadn’t had time to think before I’d pulled up outside the club. My hands shook violently as I climbed out of the car and smoothed down my flowy skirt. I hadn’t known that I’d be meeting Joseph today, he hadn’t indicated that he wanted me on a job.
“Hello,” the security guard from the night before greeted me as I approached the door.
He had appeared from nowhere, making me jump. I clutched my bag to me and dropped my gaze to the ground, studying the cracks of the paving slabs below my kitten heels.
“My boss is a designer, he asked me to meet him here.” My voice was low and unsteady.
His grunt made me look up as he opened the heavy black door. “You better come in.”
Humming an affirmative, I followed him inside, keeping my gaze averted every time he checked over his shoulder. My palms grew slick with perspiration as he led me through the small lobby and through a side door. I sighed as we avoided the main club room, pleased that I wouldn’t have to face what had happened straight away.
“Lola.” Joseph’s drawled voice was deep as the door closed behind me and the security guard moved to reveal my boss.
He stood by a bank of security cameras, resting his clenched fist on the desk in front of them. He was so tall, his head almost touched the ceiling. Even the security guard wasn’t as big as him.
As shit as I felt, seeing him eased me. Instead of letting him see my nervousness, I plastered on a smile, even though my insides were flickering anxiously.
“Joseph.” Clearing my throat when it squeezed, I glanced around the room, “I didn’t know you designed security rooms.”
Narrowing his gaze on me, Joe stared for several seconds without saying a word. I licked my lips and glanced at the ground, unsure why he would be so intent. My boss was usually friendly in front of the client, not moody and… quite frankly, strange.
I couldn’t look at him directly. Instead, my gaze darted around the room, searching for anything to concentrate on. Anything but the heat rolling from my new lover. When the security guard sniffed, it broke Joseph’s concentration. He leant sideways and hit a button on the security desk, tilting his head sideways when he looked at me again.
My eyebrows pulled low as one scene played out on the whole bank of screens. At first, I wondered if he had somehow programmed them with his plans, but when they zoomed in on an image of me, standing in the men’s bathroom, I gulped.
“What the fuck?” I whispered, going closer. “Have you been spying on me or something? How would you know…? I mean…” I stuttered, unable to comprehend what was happening.
When the screens played multiple shots of Finley pinning me against the sink, I held my stomach as it churned. As hard as it was to watch, I couldn’t take my eyes off the man who had tried to violate me. No wait, he had fucking violated me, the bastard.
“You can go now,” Joseph told the security guard, “I appreciate you telling me what happened.”
The man squeezed my shoulder as he passed me, whispering a small sorry. I couldn’t understand why he’d suddenly become nice after being so cold the night before.
Heat flared in my stomach, causing the churning to stop and my arms to burn. No, I wouldn’t let these people confuse me. I’d been a fighter my whole life, I wasn’t about to stop now.
“Explain yourself,” I pushed through gritted teeth .
Sighing, Joseph clenched his jaw and glanced at the monitors, just as Finley kissed me. The red of his cheeks grew, flushing down his neck. The tension across his shoulders made me aware that he was a ticking bomb, ready to explode.
“I own this club.”
“You what now?” I blurted, my mouth dropping open.
Hitting a button on the desk to pause the video, Joseph turned to me, his hands held to his sides as he clenched his fingers into his palms. “I haven’t exactly been honest with you. I like games, I wanted to know who you were, and whether or not you could be trusted.”
“So… you expect me to let you know everything about me in order for you to trust me? While keeping everything…” Breathing in hard, I tried to stem my inner shivering “…and I mean fucking everything… from me?”
“Like I said,” he forced out, “I like games.”
“I don't understand.” Frowning, I shook my head. “You know what? I don't care. This isn't worth it, I quit!”
Spinning from the craziness in front of me, I reached for the door. My hand didn't make it, instead pausing in mid-air where Joe caught my elbow and squeezed. I yelped, glaring at him as I wrenched away.
Holding up his hands as I turned to face him, he swallowed. “I'm sorry, I don't want to be that guy.” He waved to the screens behind us. “But you need to hear me out. To let me show you that you don't have to tolerate that behaviour. To show you...” Coming closer, he stared down into my eyes. “...that you deserve so much fucking more.”
“Honesty,” I breathed, “I deserve that more than anything.”
His eyes blinked as he slowly nodded his head. “Yes, you do. And you'll get that. After...”
“After what?” Butterflies flickered in my stomach as he offered his hand, gesturing for me to take it.
His powerful scent wafted over me and filtered into my nostrils. There was something about the way he was asking me to trust him that drew me in. I was a fool for even debating slipping my fingers into his - which they did, quite against my own reason. And yet, I couldn't help myself. Clearly, I needed a lobotomy.
“You need to do something,' he said, leading me out of the door and through the entrance of the main club room.
Swallowing, I followed him, my gaze raking the whole room, which was now empty. With the lights up and the bodies gone, the grandeur of the old theatre was obvious. The red and gold that lined the old chairs had been spruced up. The stage was empty, the red curtain pulled back and pinned with giant gold leaves. I tried to concentrate on my surroundings, but my heartbeat pounded in my chest as Joseph marched us to the corridor that led to the bathroom. My feet slowed as I pulled back, trying to stop our momentum. Joseph ignored me, tugging hard on my wrist and looking at me over his shoulder.
“Please,” he insisted, “Trust me.”
His pleading made me bite my bottom lip as I stepped forward, nodding for him to go on. Why was he taking me back to the place where I’d been attacked? I didn’t have time to ask him the question before he shoved open the swinging black door and propelled me inside, urging me towards the sink.
“Stand there,” he said, moving to the exact place where Finley had stood the night before.
Wringing my hands together, I eyed the sink before looking at him. For some bizarre reason, he wanted me to replay what had happened. Why else would he bring me to this place? Surely, he wasn’t sadistic enough to enjoy seeing my discomfort. Or was he? I didn’t know any more .
He stayed silent until I stepped forward and turned to face him, leaning my back against the very spot I had touched last night. “Come on then,” I spat, “why the fuck are we here?”
Placing his hands on his hips, he squared his shoulders as he stared at me. “Pretend I’m him.”
My head was shaking before any words slipped out of my mouth. “No way.”
His jaw tightened, the stubble moving as he bit down on his teeth hard. “You need to take back what they’ve taken from you. Pretend I’m him.”
Frowning, I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked my hip. I considered myself quite an intelligent person, most of the time. However, his therapy session certainly wasn’t what I had been expecting. It was almost laughable. Except, the muscles in his arms flexed as he folded his fingers into his palms and took a step forward. He straightened his spine and came closer still, his energy intimidating rather than soft.
“What are you doing?” Perspiration lined my palms, making them slippery against my top.
“If you want to pretend,” he muttered, “I will.”
My mouth opened to answer but before I could, he stepped right up to me and pressed his weight against my body. We had shared intimacy, and yet, his energy wasn’t kind. Still, I couldn’t quite understand what he was trying to do.
“I’m going to take what I want.” Joseph grabbed my hands and held them tight against the surface of the sink.
Struggling, I tried to wrench my hands free by wiggling my arms. His threat sent chills down my spine and to my toes. The memory of Finley made me blink to try and clear the image of his face. Joseph had promised me that he would keep me safe. And here he was, causing my insides to shake.
“What do you want to do to me?” Joseph asked, looking down at me.
Growling, I bared my teeth and slowly shook my head. “I just want you to let me go. Your games are sick.”
A low chuckle rumbled through his chest as he pushed his hips into me and ran his hand up my side and onto my breast. Fear made every nerve in my body tremble, the memories of the past filtering through my brain and replaying over my skin.
“Get the fuck off me,” I bit through my clenched teeth, “otherwise I’m going to seriously hurt you.”
My words were a feeble, desperate attempt to appeal to Joseph’s softer side. He had earned my trust, but now, he was shattering it with his twisted attempt at getting me to play .
Using all my strength, I bucked against him, pulling my head back to prepare to thrust it into his face. Anger reared through me, burning every inch of my skin. My neck snapped forward, but before my forehead smashed into his chin, he stepped away, releasing me from his grip. I almost fell forward, only just managing to keep my feet as he backed up towards the opposite wall.
“Pretend I’m him.” His eyes were narrowed on me, the intensity of his energy rolling from him.
Heat still fired me up inside, years of pain pushing outwards and making me scream. My mouth opened wide as the sound erupted from me, echoing around the bathroom.
When the shout died down, I breathed fast and looked at Joseph.
“Finley violated you last night,” he said, his eyes widening as his breath hitched. “Who else has touched you when you did not want it?”
“No one!” I snapped, holding my chest as it rose and fell.
Joseph lifted his top lip in a sneer, his expression daring me to lie to him again. “Those scars tell me otherwise. They’re on top of your thighs for a reason. Who were you trying to scare away?”
Tears flooded my eyes as I squeezed them shut, quickly blinking them open again when his face came into my mind. No. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about the man who had tried to take my innocence. The man who was my foster father. The man I had almost killed while he slept. The man who had brought out the worst in me.
“Please,” I begged, my almost empty lungs squeaking as rage made my insides shake violently.
“I am him. Do what you will, I will not retaliate.” Joseph stood tall, opening his arms wide, almost as if he were inviting me to take my fear and anger out on him.
His handsome face was twisted in a sneer, mocking me, just like he had. When my foster father had failed to penetrate me, he punched me round the head so hard, it rebounded off the door, making such a loud noise that my foster mother ran to rescue me.
The man’s face covered Joseph’s as he laughed, the sound echoing around and around my head. My gaze was blurry as tears streamed down my face, flying through the air as I propelled forward, allowing all that pent-up brokenness free.
Joe’s face remained that of my perpetrator, the one who had ruined me and my idea of what love should be. Once I reached him, I threw my fists straight at him, hitting his hard torso, his chin and his head. Screams filled the bathroom as the face morphed into Finley’s and fiery heat slipped down my legs. I kicked out, my boots ramming into his shins at the same time as my fists flew, hitting flesh wherever I could reach. There was no sound, other than my own pain.
The fierceness of my ire started to ebb slightly, my energy dropping. I blinked several times and the image of Joseph’s face returned. His handsomeness erased all the ugliness of the past and I reached up without thinking, placing my fingers around the back of his head and dragging it down. My lips found his and our breath intermingled as we kissed, a different heat firing my insides now. I had control, I had power.
“I want you,” I muttered when I released his lips, just for a second.
His harsh breathing matched my own as he kept his hands by his side, not touching me at all. His cheeks were red where I'd hit them, and yet, he didn't flinch when I reached out and stroked the sore marks. The desire that pulsed in his eyes flared when I ran a finger over his bottom lip. “Can I still do what I want?”
The bump of his Adam's apple moved as he swallowed and blinked slowly, “Yes.”
His simple statement gave me permission to do as I pleased, just like those men thought they could. Power surged through my veins and I pulled his head to me again, plunging my tongue into his mouth and swirling it around his. The lack of resistance sent a thrill down to my pussy, making it pulse. The rush made me unzip his jeans and tug the length of him out of his underwear. Seeing him, stretching out from the material, pulsing and ready, made me push him back against the wall. My body pressed against his as I dragged him down into a sit, my lips smothering his in my frantic need to get closer. He sat against the wall, his legs out flat and his cock pointing up, poking me straight in the leg.
My mind was a blur as heat flushed my skin. The demons drove me to yank my skirt up and my underwear to the side before lifting myself over Joe’s lap. An excited flicker made my stomach clench and I reached for his shoulders, pausing when he grabbed me under the armpits.
“Are you sure about this?” he said, his gaze searching mine.
The heat that burned in my veins hurt as I remembered all the pain that I’d been through. No way was I going to shy away from taking what I wanted, just like those men had tried to do. My nod was curt as I lowered myself, pushing against his hands until he let go and placed his arms on the floor .
His surrender sent me spiralling and I grabbed his head, kissing him roughly as my entrance came into contact with the tip of his hard penis. This was it… the moment I had power over a strong man who allowed me to finally take what I needed… instead of the other way around.
Plunging down, I hissed out as a sharp pain alerted me to my breaking in. Joe’s eyes widened and his chest rose as he breathed deep. I ignored the temporary sting and lifted my body, bringing myself down on his long hard cock again. The thrill of riding him made me slick enough to slide on his cock. He stayed completely still, not even helping as I lifted my hips, clinging to his shoulders for stability.
I wanted to speak, to say something, but my brain was trying to push all the dark thoughts into my mind. Shaking my head, I reached one hand around Joe’s head and kissed him hard. When my balance became compromised, I let go, using the wall to steady myself. My knees braced against the floor, either side of his legs, as I rose and fell, engulfing the length of him inside my pulsing pussy.
Tingles started somewhere down there, spreading as I pushed my pelvic bone into his. The grinding shortened my breath and I dropped my head, closing my eyes as the gorgeous, but forbidden, orgasm started to clench my insides. The bastard who had ruined my life flashed into my mind, so I snapped my eyes open and focused on Joe, whose head was leaning back against the wall as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
Yes. Seeing him trying to control himself sent me over the edge and a bolt of sweetness flung out from me. I went still as my pussy pulsed around him and the deliciousness made my whole body shake violently.
A sob exploded from me as the ebb started, bringing me crashing down to Earth. I jumped off Joe, trying to reverse away from him, but not getting very far. He grabbed me back onto his lap and forced me to stare into his eyes by holding the sides of my face.
“Don’t see this as weakness,” he said, his eyes hard.
Tears streamed down my face as the demons swum in my mind, taunting me and telling me that I wasn’t good enough for this. For him.
Blinking slowly, Joe waited until my sorrow had eased. “See this as a way of retaking your power.”
“Power?” I asked, frowning.
Nodding, he licked his lips and smiled. “Your inner demons have been draining you. You’ve just told them to fuck off by taking what you needed. That’s taking back power. However, you do have a long way to go.”
“I thought it was healing.” Glancing down at his hard prick, I winced. “Although, I violated you, I think.”
He shifted me to the side and tucked himself away before holding me closer again. I curled into a ball on his lap, trying to ignore the pulsing of his manhood beneath my backside.
“Trust me,” he said, holding back a smile, “you didn't take from me what I wasn’t willing to give. I regret that your first time wasn't tender, but you’re right, I'm here to heal you.”
“You are?” Looking up at him, I stared into his bright eyes.
Shrugging, he kissed my forehead. “I think you’re my angel. And I’m the demon who can calm your inner pain.”