Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Farewell to our beloved son, Kenny O’Malley.
I stare down at the words on the paper in my hand.
I’m glad I can’t see the faces of the congregation from where I’m seated in the front row.
Although there is the sense of everyone’s eyes falling on me.
Guilt eats at my chest. No one knows what I did.
They won’t ever know. But I do. And sometimes that’s all it takes to drive a man insane.
The sound of thunder booms from outside the church. It’s not surprising. God ain’t happy I’m in here. The last time I was inside this building, I wasn’t exactly… respectful either. I was with her. The girl I’m doing my fucking best not to think about today.
Kenny deserves my full attention, at the very least, considering I’m the reason he’s even in there. The dark mahogany casket is covered in white lilies and green carnations, symbolizing our Irish heritage. I had to help carry it in. I also have to help carry it out.
The sound of soft cries and sniffles drowns out the organ music. It always surprises me. Funerals, the sadness that comes with them. The realization that we’re all going to end up here one day, in a casket, with our loved ones crying over us.
The grief, it won’t last. I know that after today, most of the people filling this church won’t give Kenny a moment’s thought. That’s what happens. Once you’re gone, you’re gone. And in our world, we’re exposed to a lot of loss. I don’t usually have the addition of guilt mixed in with it, though.
The music stops, and Father McGowan stands at the altar, a look of sorrow twisting his features. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Kenny O’Malley, a young man whose light touched so many in his seventeen short years.”
My attention turns to my family. Not a single one of them makes a sound. No tears, nothing. Just blank faces staring back at the priest. Cold. That’s the feeling I get from them. Makes me wonder if my parents would even care if it were me in that casket…
Father McGowan continues talking about Kenny, his love for football and life. The brightness and joy he brought with him, skipping over the darkness that my cousin had to recently embrace—all the shit that comes with bearing our last name.
My mind goes blank throughout the service.
I barely listen to people as they take turns to either read bible passages or talk about their memories of Kenny.
His football coach stands up there describing my cousin as a leader on the field, always encouraging his teammates and playing with his whole heart.
Every single attendee displaying a fondness that his own family fails to show.
After the final blessing, I stand, along with my father, uncle, and two of our most-trusted soldiers.
Together, we each take a handle of the casket, ready to carry it out of the church.
As I’m walking down the aisle, I don’t look into the pews until we reach the end.
Where I spot the last fucking person I expected to see.
Aurora fucking Valentino stares back at me. Her eyes glassy with tears.
Rage fills me. She doesn’t get to do that. She doesn’t get to come here and look like that. Look like she’s grieving. I force my feet to continue down the path and out of the church. Because if I stop right now, if I let on to who she is and why she’s fucking here, we’re both as good as dead.
Once everyone is gone, I make my way back into the church. I don’t know how I know, but I find myself walking up the back staircase that leads to the bell. When I reach the top, I see her standing at the edge of the open window.
My heart stops. Torn between wanting to walk over and push her, and wanting to pull her to my chest.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask before grabbing the back of her shirt and tugging her towards me. Then I slam the window closed.
Aurora’s back lands against the wall. “I… I wanted to see you,” she says.
“How fucking dare you!” I yell, taking a step forward.
My hand wraps around her throat as I push her harder against the brick wall.
“Do you get some perverted fucking kick out of this? Coming to the funeral of the guy you fucking killed?” I hiss, my face so close to hers I can feel her breath brush across my lips.
“No, I wanted to see if you were okay. I had to see you, Connor.” She’s not fighting me off. Her body goes limp.
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to see you. If I never see you again, it will be too fucking soon. You disgust me,” I tell her, almost believing my own words.
“You don’t mean that.” Aurora’s eyes fill with a fresh wave of tears. I’ve seen a lot of looks on this girl but never one so… broken.
I can’t allow myself to care, though. This is her fault. “You did this. You ,” I say, my hand squeezing a little harder. “I wish I never met you. I wish I never fucking touched you.” I let go of her, and she falls onto her knees in front of me.
“You don’t mean that,” she repeats, shaking her head.
“Oh, I fucking mean every word of it. You’re sick. You should be locked up. You are fucking crazy, Aurora. Look at you! Did you really think you could come here and I’d just what ? Welcome you with open arms?” I laugh hysterically. I don’t know what else to do.
Does she not understand the danger she’s put us both in by being here? Fucking hell. It’s as if she has a death wish.
She needs to stay away from me, and the only way I can guarantee that is to make her hate me as much as I hate her right now.
“You really are pathetic. On the ground, crying. For what? A fairy tale you let yourself foolishly believe? Guess what? I’m not the Prince Charming in your story.
I’m the fucking Grim Reaper. And mark my words, I will be collecting on the debt you owe my family.
” With those parting words, I turn and walk out.
Ignoring the sound of her sobs behind me.
This is the last place I want to fucking be. Walking through the hall of this preppy fucking school full of preppy fucking assholes. It was bearable when I had her. When I had one good thing in these suffocating fucking walls.
Everyone looks at me with pity. I know what they’re thinking. He lost his cousin. It should have been him.
No one would miss me as much as they’ll miss Kenny. The school’s star quarterback. I walk right past the jocks, a group of guys I’d usually stop and chat with, when Kenny was with them. They were his friends, though. They’ve never been mine.
My steps stop when I spot Ian with a sling around his arm, his face various shades of black, blue, and purple.
“What the fuck happened to you?” I ask him.
He was one of Kenny’s friends. The guy looks away, doesn’t make eye contact with me, so I turn my glare on the kid standing next to him. “What happened?”
“The Valentinos happened,” the kid says.
“Why?”
“He gave Krystal a cup of laced beer at the party. Turns out, Krystal gave it to Aurora and she drank it.”
“Aurora drank laced beer? What the fuck was it laced with?” I ask, my fist clenching at my side.
“GHB,” Ian tells me. “Krystal was supposed to drink it, not Aurora.”
I look at him, at the sling on his arm. He got off fucking easy . Why the fuck is he still breathing? That’s something I’m going to change. Now.
“You’re coming with me,” I grunt as I take hold of his arm, the one not broken because I don’t need to make a scene in the middle of the hallway, and guide him to the staircase.
“Wait, where are we going?” Ian asks.
“Upstairs,” I reply, nudging him from behind. He tries to stop, so I push harder. “Because I want to talk to you alone. You know my family and the Valentinos aren’t friends, right? It seems we now have a common enemy.”
My words put him at ease and he walks up the stairs. Fucking idiot.
Once we get to the fourth level, I take him into one of the empty classrooms. Walking over to the window, where I look down at the concrete path right below us. This should work. “You know I saw Aurora that night,” I tell him.
“You did? Was she okay?”
“It was right after she killed my cousin.” I walk over to him and he backs up. “You see, Ian, we have a problem here. One, you know the truth about who killed Kenny. And two, you’re the reason he’s dead.”
The kid’s face pales. He shakes his head back and forth. “No, she wasn’t supposed to drink it.”
“But she did,” I remind him. I tug him over towards the window. I’ve been looking for a way to get my fucking anger out. Maybe this is it. I need it. I need the violence. Except this is like taking candy from a baby. The fucker isn’t going to put up much of a fight.
“Please, Connor, man, you don’t have to do this. I won’t say shit,” he tells me.
“Mmm, yeah, I think I do. I don’t take risks or leave loose ends.” I pick him up and push his top half out the window. When he starts to scream, I let go, shoving him all the way out. It only takes seconds for his body to hit the ground.
I once told Aurora she wasn’t crazy for enjoying the kill. I wasn’t lying. Because I feel it too, a rush like no other.
I jog back downstairs and stop at my locker, which is currently on fire.
Students gather around, no one doing a thing to put out the flames.
When I glance over a shoulder, I see her.
Aurora, leaning against the opposite side of the hallway with a smirk on her face. Tilting my head, I fight my own smile.
Is that the best she’s got? I’m disappointed. She’s better than this.
I walk over, ignoring her as I look to Dante. “I finished your job for you, by the way. You’re welcome.” Just as the words are out of my mouth, an ear-piercing scream comes from outside the building.
Guess someone found Ian.
I storm out and head straight for my car. I’m not sticking around. I need to go home and I need to find some whiskey. Drink myself stupid until I can sleep.
A quick drive later, I walk in on my father holding a meeting in the dining room. “Son, you’re just on time.” He waves me forward.
“Da? What’s going on?” I ask him.
“We’re hitting the Italians again tonight. The Valentinos have a shipment coming in. We’re going to intercept it,” he says.
This makes me smile. “I’ll help.”
I pull out a chair. They don’t question me, thank god. I’ve distanced myself from the family business as much as I could since we moved to New York. Maybe it’s time to jump back in.