13. Gray
The way Mébh’smulticolored eyes had reflected the burnt-orange Hawaiian sunset took my breath away. She was much more captivating to me, and I watched her for every minute reaction.
We had watched the sun go down, hand in hand, from a rocky bluff. With every returning memory, I felt more whole, but I was still a fallen angel with no soul to share. I was no good for Mébh, mate or no, but I was really getting into hot water fast. I’d thought I could mess around until the itch was scratched. I thought I would tire of her. But the more I was around her, the more of her smiles I saw, the more of her body I worshipped, the more I wanted it all. I’ve never wanted forever. I didn’t even know if that’s what I wanted now—I just knew I wanted her, and the ache wasn’t diminishing. It was growing.
I’d misted us to another swank hotel I remembered staying at before. From there, we had plundered the hotel gift shop for swim gear, changed in the room, and I’d ordered us beverages—me, a Jack Daniel’s neat, and for her a pi?a colada, yes with booze in it. I’d weakened and wanted to please her, and her grin had been worth it. But the bartender had gone harder on the pour with a wink at me and a glance at Mébh, which made me want to kill the human male just for looking at her, despite the fact that he was trying to help me get laid.
I didn’t need his help; my hesitance and memories that kept returning when it came to her were the only things keeping us from going all the way. I wanted her pinned under me as I pushed all seven of my barbells inside of her. My cock thickened fast under my swim trunks. I could take her any time I wanted, but I hadn’t. I’d held back. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I didn’t want to accidentally claim her when I had no intention of completing our matebond.
We sat in a cabana at the end of a secluded beach. It was private to the hotel, another reason I had chosen this place. No other humans were about. It was the only reason I was minutely comfortable with Mébh wearing a skimpy purple string bikini, so long as it was for my eyes only.
I was able to strip off my hoodie here without mortals around, or at least I’d be able to hear them coming if others did join us on the beach.
We watched the waves slowly lap at the shore and sipped our drinks. It was very dark with no electric lights, another of the reasons no humans were venturing this way. But with both Mébh’s and my night vision, we could easily see.
Mébh was convinced I was the prince of Shoal, but I had some serious doubts. I knew what I’d seen in that memory, but like I told her, there was no way the Lord would have put me in charge of a dimension. Falling was a punishment; it tarnished one’s soul forever—it was not meant to give more power. It was far more likely I was a representative or region leader among others at that table, who Lethe was striving to control to raise The Fallen, though truth be told, I had no idea what region I even fell into. Lethe wore a green sash over the stupid archaic black ceremonial robes she favored for court dealings. She and her father had been convinced humans didn’t deserve their place of favor with the Lord—they deserved to be subservient. That could involve several of the deadly sins, but the green had to represent envy, I guessed. I didn’t see what color sash I may have had on. My mind was being fucked with, preventing me from doing anything. I was basically in a comatose state, and it infuriated me just remembering it now.
Mébh sipped on her drink straw, and it brought me back to the present. Hating Lethe wouldn’t fix anything right now. The demoness was dead and gone. Only more memories would help. I glanced at Mébh, contemplating trying to kiss her to get memories to return, but it wasn’t always kissing that did it. It seemed like it was when I gave into my desire for my mate. Kissing her that first time, not being able to resist eating her out in London and then after she blew me in the hotel in Paris. But going to that place with her was getting harder and harder to resist taking her fully.
“Do you like it?” I gestured to her drink, striving to distract myself from my swirling quagmire of thoughts.
“Yes! It’s very tropical and sweet, like dangerously sweet.” She giggled, and I knew the alcohol was hitting her. Damn bartender really did do a heavy pour. It usually took a lot to get a supernatural drunk, but she was a petite being. “I could get into trouble having more than one of these!”
She glanced over at me with pleading eyes. Before she could ask, I snapped, “No, that one seems like it’s quite enough.”
“Fine. You’re right. I didn’t want to walk all the way back to the bar anyway.” She sipped the last of her drink, the straw making that annoying slurping sound again.
I brought my glass up to throw back the last of my Jack Daniels, but Mébh slipped a hand up my abs to settle on my chest. Not being able to read her mind and have a bead on her thoughts was driving me insane, and her question caught me off guard. “Why did you resist me so hard at first?”
Glancing down at her palm on me, I debated how to answer. I was technically still resisting by not claiming her as my mate—I couldn’t. She deserved better, a mate who had a non-damaged soul to share. But the idea of another male’s hands on her nearly made me growl and the darkness within me swirled angrily. I was giving in to her charms, though, in an effort to get her out of my system. I just had to be able to let go by the end of this. So I went for placating and teasing.
Leaning down to her, I captured her lips with my own before breaking away to answer. “I was stupid.” Then I dived back in and slipped my tongue into her mouth. She tasted like coconut, pineapple, and a whole lotta rum. But she giggled, and I had successfully distracted her.
She caught sight of the ocean and disentangled herself suddenly. Standing up from the cabana with all her curves on display, she took a step toward the waves and playfully buried her toes in the sand, giving me a full view of her thong-clad ass, making me chub up. Then one of her hands slipped behind her head to the bow tying her bathing suit top on. She pulled it, the bow unraveled, and the fabric began to slide down her chest.
“What are you doing?” I snarled, now on alert. She was up to something. I could feel it. If only I could read her mind, I would know where she was going with this. My cock didn’t care, it went from chubby to rock hard very fast as her perfect breasts and nipples appeared. I’d sampled those nipples less than two hours ago, yet my body was tight with need.
No humans had ventured onto the dark beach, and we were pretty far from the lights of the hotel. It wasn’t like mortals had great vision anyway; unless we started a fire, all they would see would be darkness out here.
Mébh did not answer me. Instead, she pulled at the bow in the middle of her back and her whole top slid free.
“Mébh,” I rumbled in warning, my shift beginning at the potential for sex with my mate—something that could not happen.
She ignored me again and slipped her thumbs under the sides of the string bikini, which didn’t leave much to the imagination to begin with, then slid it over her hips and down her legs.
I scrambled up, dropping my drink in the process, and grabbed her just as she was kicking the bikini bottom off into the sand. “What the fuck are you playing at, princess?”
She looked smugly up at me, her full lips tantalizingly close. “I’m going skinny dipping. Care to join me?”
The moral part of me said no, but the dark demonic side demanded we join. My hand found the ties on my shorts, and I was pulling them down before I knew what had happened. When my dick sprang free, Mébh stared at it, lust in her multicolored eyes. The wolven eye flashed gold, indicating her beast was close to the surface.
Now I was just as naked as her, so I turned and marched out into the calmly lapping waves. She hastily joined me with a giggle, splashing water at me as she ran by. Then she dived into the deeper water and came up for air a few feet away, brushing her dark hair back out of her face.
“The water is so warm! It feels amazing! Thank you for bringing me here, Gray. It’s so beautiful and romantic!”
I hadn’t been going for romantic so much as a warmer place outside of Europe, but I would happily take credit. “I am glad you like it here.”
“Are you kidding? I don’t just like it here. I love it here.” She wrapped her arm around my waist and her use of the word “love” held special significance. She was hinting at more, at forever, at something I couldn’t give her. But we could enjoy this time before we went our separate ways. I was a bastard for wanting to sample what I couldn’t have, for teasing her with forever, but I couldn’t resist having her in my arms, her lips against mine, her curves under my claws just for now.
I put an arm around her shoulders and gently used my index finger to tip her chin up as I leaned down so her lips could meet mine. My fangs grew and my teeth sharpened as we kissed. Mébh toured my shifting teeth with her tongue, and it was hot as fuck.
Suddenly she broke away, panting, and breathlessly asked, “What do you look like when you’re fully shifted?”
I really didn’t want to talk about this with her, especially right now. It was embarrassing enough not being able to control my shift around her when she was in danger or being sensual like now. I really didn’t want to go into specifics, nor get into discussing demon mating rituals—which consisted of fucking and biting. “You’ve seen the majority of my shift,” I replied, hoping that would appease her.
She was not satisfied with that answer and continued to question me. “What else changes? I’ve never seen your shift end.”
There was a good reason for that. I grew another foot at least, so I would tower over her even more. I could hurt her easily or frighten her. This was why I had tried to prevent my full shift other times or at least stave off the height change till last. “I grow a bit more, that’s all,” I replied, downplaying it.
“What about your tail?” she asked next. “Sometimes it appears right away, other times not till later in your shift.”
“I can control how and when that specific appendage comes out,” I explained.
“Can you let it out now?” She looked at me with hope-filled eyes.
“No.”
Her face fell, but she was undeterred, launching into more questions. “So when do you go fully demonic? Like for what reasons?”
I glanced heavenward, praying for patience. “When I am protecting myself, not unlike your Wolf.” I deliberately left out the part about shifting when turned on by my fated mate. I’d never shifted with one of my hook-ups, only Mébh.
“Yes, but my Wolf also comes out on the full moon. Your demon isn’t bound like that. My Wolf also has been coming out for you.” Her cheeks pinkened. “She has never shown herself before when I’ve played around with a male. I’ve never gone all the way before,” she hastily added, as if that made a difference.
I struggled to ignore the fierce blast of jealousy and possession that shot through me at the mere mention of her previous hook-ups, but I was right. She was a virgin. “Same for my demon,” I accidentally revealed, and then wished I hadn’t said anything.
“Your shift now? Is it because of me?”
I was approaching a topic I’d sworn I would stay away from, but I found myself dumbly saying, “Demons shift all the way the first time they mate, and on some level, always, much like your Wolf.”
Her eyes went round and filled with hunger. “Show me what you really look like, please. Your whole shift. I want to see all of you,” she demanded.
“Why?” I was wary. What she was asking for was impossible; there was no way I could shift fully with her in the vicinity and not claim her.
“You’ve seen me shift, and you’ve met my Wolf. I want to know all of you. Fully shifted form and all. The good, the bad, and the ugly—not that I think it will be ugly.”
Yeah, being worried about being “ugly” was the least of my worries. Mébh and I were too attracted to one another—that was the bigger problem. How would I keep myself from taking her if I let myself reach full form? Maybe space would help. And I could not let myself touch her—that would be the end.
“Come on, show me how big these horns grow.” She reached up and stroked the bottom of my left ram horn, and I just managed to stifle the pleasure-filled shudder that traveled through my body.
“There are humans around.” I threw out any excuse at this point, trying to deter her, but when Mébh wanted something, I was quickly learning Mébh got it.
“They can’t see anything out here in the dark and they are all far away. Please, Gray.” Her voice was pleading and desperate.
I was realizing too late how much of a pushover I was becoming when it came to Mébh and her desires. “Fine, but I have one rule. You can’t touch me.”
“You act like you’re some big scary monster. I am a werewolf—I grew up with a monster inside of me.”
“Your Wolf isn’t a monster.”
“Isn’t she? When she takes me over?” She was clearly very self-conscious of her control issues.
“You’re learning to fight back. She didn’t succeed last time Nicodemus found us.” And I had faith she would continue to get better at controlling her Wolf.
“Thanks to you,” she mumbled.
“No, it was thanks to you. I didn’t do anything. Keeping your animal in check was completely your doing, Mébh. You found the strength.”
“Sure. Whatever.” She rolled her eyes, not believing me, and I nearly growled. “Now why can’t I touch you when you shift?”
I took several large steps away from Mébh in the water. She stared after me, confused. “I don’t know how else to keep from claiming you the moment I hit full form. If you come any nearer or touch me, I can’t promise I won’t hurt you or take you without consent.” And I meant it. Splitting her in two on my cock was all I wanted to do, but I knew it would hurt her immensely in so many ways. She didn’t need to be tethered to a tarnished, soulless mate. She deserved better, I reminded myself again.
“I promise I will stay here and not touch you.”
I had to take her word for it.
Swallowing my fears of losing control, I allowed my power to expand within me. My body began to thrum. My shift sizzled over my skin. My horns grew, the points on the top of my ram spirals reaching toward the sky. My face sharpened, becoming more angular, my jaw and nose perfectly straight. My teeth sharpened and fangs dropped down into place, forcing my mouth open. My body took on muscle. I felt my tail press against the base of my spine, and I allowed it to slide out. The end plumped up to form the arrowhead shape, and it waved in agitation in the water behind me.
Mébh had a look of wonder on her face as she watched me, but I was at the point of no return. My body began to grow, slowly taking on height. This was it. How would Mébh react?
I felt my body stretch and lengthen, and Mébh looked a bit like she was shrinking, only I knew it wasn’t her changing size, it was me. I had been right—if I thought I towered over her before, now I really did. She barely came up to my sternum, but still looked up at me with hunger. Her one eye stayed golden now as her blue eye glowed. Her claws and fangs were also growing in. She wasn’t afraid; she was turned on as shit, her Wolf coming through too.
My waist was now fully above the water line, revealing my bobbing cock. It grew thicker before my eyes, and to my shock, shot about an inch longer.
“That’s new,” I rumbled in surprise, my voice so much deeper than usual. I grabbed the appendage and stared.
Mébh took a step closer.
I snarled and abruptly took another step back, forcing the same distance between us. My body thrummed with need, and it took all my self-control to stay back and not descend upon her. The dark demon that I was hungered for her above all else.
I stood there, tense and heaving, but when flames appeared overhead in the sky, I went on red alert. However, it wasn’t a threat—words were forming. It was a message from Felix.
Lucifer has info.He wants to meet with both of you in Hell.
The blood poundedin my ears as I called my shift to reverse as fast as possible. I was hoping Felix would have a “yes, she is alive,” to which we could search on Earth, or “no, sorry she’s dead.” Instead, it was a summons for a meeting with the Prince of Hell himself. I didn’t get a bad vibe from Lucifer—I’d remembered dining with him after all—but I didn’t recall much else about him nor trust our safety in Hell. Most demons had no qualms about being double agents, and it was all the more likely Nicodemus would be alerted to my whereabouts. I was also running the risk of this being a giant trap of some kind. I didn’t relish going into a Hell dimension, let’s just say that. I would need to make sure Mébh stayed close at all times. She was going to be overjoyed at the news Lucifer had information. The more we uncovered, the closer Mébh was to finding out what really happened to her mother, and my promise would be fulfilled.
Sadness stabbed my chest, making my heart ache.
Did I really want this adventure with her to end? Was I ready to let her go? Could I actually do it? I didn’t really know anymore.
“What’s wrong?” she finally asked, regarding me with a creased brow.
“Felix sent a response,” I replied as my shift ended and my control was strengthened. Her expression brightened. “Lucifer has information about your mother and wants to meet.”
Her eyes lit with excitement. “Then what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
I glanced down at her naked chest, nipples peeking at me from just above the water’s surface. “We both need clothing first,” I growled.