Chapter 3
The club wasn’t as busy as usual, but it had a pretty good turnout. I surveyed the main floor and strolled through the other public spaces. Pride of ownership stirred inside of me when I made the rounds. Myself, my brother Lane, and our friend Sam Nash had taken an idea and transformed it into reality, creating a welcoming space to give into your wildest desires. Sam was more of a partner on paper since he was so busy working as an officer of the Falcon Creek Police Department. He’d promised when the new rookies were up and on their own that he would spend more time here.
“Wicked?”
I stopped and leaned against the wall, turning to see Kendall. She had a flirty smile playing on her lips. Her boyfriend Dalton was usually with her, and I wondered where he was tonight. “What’s up, sweetheart?”
“Eli and I brought our friend Karsyn here. It’s just the three of us.”
Karsyn. The sweet and sassy woman who’d bought toys from my store last week. I was glad she’d told me a few personal details so I could connect the dots. “Is she having a good time?”
“I think so. Unfortunately, I keep getting pulled into aftercare sessions. It would be so nice to have someone else watching out for her.” Kendall blinked innocently, a glint of something else flickering through her eyes.
“You seem to have a naughty thought in your head, darling. What’s really on your mind?”
Kendall huffed. “I’m not being naughty… for once.”
“Are you sure about that? There’s no one on the bench right now if you want me to test the sincerity of your statement.” I cocked an eyebrow. She wasn’t being entirely truthful. I had a knack for reading people. Kendall knew how important honesty was to me. We’d known each other a long time. Though we’d never played together in a scene, she demoed new toys and implements when there was no one else available.
“Karsyn is really sweet, Logan,” she whispered. “I’ve only been friends with her for a little while, but she really needs somebody to see how special she is.”
The lines between normal conversations and those at the club sometimes blurred in our small town especially since many of us were also friends outside of our work commitments and entanglements. It was not unusual to have a scene with someone and then bump into them at the grocery store a few days later. I rubbed my chin, trying to think of how to answer her.
“You’re not even listening to me!” Kendall stomped her foot twice, her huge brown eyes filled with irritation.
“I am listening. One warning. Don’t come at me with an attitude, sweetheart.”
“Or?”
“Why do brats always ask for an ‘or’ option?” I scratched the scruff on my chin. “Or I will adjust it for you.”
“No, thank you, Sir.” Kendall pouted and opened her arms.
I hugged her, lifting her off her feet and setting her down again. “Much better.”
“I’m sorry, Wicked,” she apologized. “A lot of people around me have been getting their… ahem… needs met today and even though I’m happy about it…”
“You haven’t had much attention.” It wasn’t a question.
She nodded and blew out a breath.
“If you want to negotiate a scene, my dance card has a few spots left.”
“Your hands are bigger than my butt. I’ve observed many of your scenes, and your partners can’t sit comfortably for days.”
“Added bonus. Besides, I don’t have to use a paddle. I’m sure I can find something else.” I gave her a cheesy grin before patting her head.
Kendall sighed. “We’ve been meaning to talk about your rope skills sometime. Just not tonight. Plus, you’re right. I’ve been flitting around helping other people instead of paying attention to what I want.”
“You know where to find me. I’ll keep an eye out for your friend as well.”
“Thank you, Wicked.”
“You’re welcome.” I continued traversing the hallways as I thought about Karsyn. She was here at my club, apparently, yet I hadn’t bumped into her at all. I wondered if she had been thinking about me since our encounter at my shop. She sure seemed interested in me as well as anything else I might be into, but it wasn’t a guarantee. I remembered the way her eyes darted to the paddle on display at the shop and how she’d subtly licked her lips. The gesture had made me incredibly hard, and it took a lot of composure to push away the completely inappropriate thoughts. Though she had been flirting openly, I didn’t bother to ask about what she was looking for. Not in a retail shop in the middle of a Tuesday. Still, that she was at the club at all gave me pause. She had interest in at least some of the things I was into, and unlike the shop, the club was an appropriate place to discuss those mutual interests. Now if only I could find her…
Overwhelmed. Panicking. The reason why I stopped going to clubs. Spinning around blindly with tears in my eyes, I rushed out of the main room into a hallway. I’d been having a good time and enjoying the atmosphere, but the scene I’d just witnessed had set off a visceral reaction I couldn’t explain. My breath caught in my throat and black spots filled my vision. I bumped into someone hard and would have fallen to the floor if they didn’t wrap an arm around my waist, catching me.
“Are you okay?”
Blinking up at where the voice was coming from, I saw the owner of Wicked Kisses, the sex shop I was at last week. What was his name? I tried to answer him, but it seemed like I had no breath to form words.
He raised a walkie-talkie radio, pushed a button, and waited for someone to answer him. While I tried to breathe, he touched my wrist, reading my name bracelet. It was important at the club not to use your real name but sometimes the lines blurred. Or at least that’s what Kendall told me.
“It’s Wicked. Send me a medic to medical room four? Thanks. Have someone collect Feisty Little Brat’s belongings from her locker. Yup. Can you also send a female advocate? Great. Thank you.”
It slowly dawned on me that the medic was for me. I didn’t want anyone to poke or prod at me. I’d have panicked about that too, but curiosity about his club name had my mind ripe with possibilities. If only I could breathe. “I… I… I don’t need… medical assistance.”
He ignored my protests. “Let’s get you somewhere quiet. Can you walk?”
Tears continued streaming down my cheeks and I pressed a hand to my chest. Shaking my head back and forth, I tried to keep some semblance of calm.
“May I carry you?” the guy who’d called himself Wicked asked.
I gave him a thumbs up. Logan! That was his name. I couldn’t believe after all of the talking about him I’d been doing, his name had escaped me. Logan went by Wicked at the club. I should have been able to guess that. He lifted me like I weighed nothing and held me against him without imposing on my personal space. It felt nice to be taken care of. Something about his calm demeanor and expressed request for consent eased some of my panic.
I didn’t know exactly what started the attack, whether it was the sights or the sounds, or the combination of everything, but it had happened. Maybe it was because of how shit went sideways the last time I played. My wannabe-Dom-slash-asshole boyfriend fucked up. Badly. He didn’t do it on purpose, but he blamed me. Just like he blamed me for so many other things. I should have told my friends about it before they brought me here. Eloise knew a lot of my history, but I don’t think I’d told her everything. No, I hadn’t been completely forthcoming. I couldn’t have been, or she wouldn’t have left me alone. Same for Kendall.
“I… I wanted to see you,” I managed.
“We can talk in a few minutes. Let’s focus on taking nice, even breaths. Do you know the box method? We can do it while we wait.”
“I… I… I know what you’re saying. I can’t count for… for… for… myself.”
“I’ll count. Breathe in for four counts. Ready? One. Two. Three. Four.”
I pictured a rectangle in my head as I’d done so many times before and breathed in along the top of the ‘box’.
“Hold it for four,” he soothed, his voice low and husky. “One. Two. Three. Four.”
As I held my breath picturing the side of the ‘box’, Logan brought me into a large room. It had an exam table with various straps and other apparatus, rows of cabinets and all sorts of lamps and lights. It looked like a real doctor’s office. What sort of things went on here? It took me a minute to orient myself. Medical play. A kink I’d done some research on but never explored.
“Let it out for four, sweetheart,” Logan drawled. “One. Two. Three. Four.”
I slowly released my breath as if drawing along the bottom of the ‘box’. Logan sat me on the exam table and took both of my hands in his. The solid grip of his hands helped me ground and I squeezed them. I liked the tone of his voice, and I hadn’t noticed the slight drawl when we were at his shop.
“Breathe in again,” he commanded softly. “Four counts. One. Two. Three. Four.”
I nodded and did as he instructed, inhaling upwards for the final step of the anxiety-reducing exercise. Having someone else count for me worked like magic. Logan continued counting, breathing along with me.
Finally, the pinching anxiety seeped away and the ringing in my ears faded. I released his hands, but I could have held on for hours. His calm and collected handling of the situation dropped me into a more peaceful state.
Kendall stuck her head into the room. She smiled brightly as she carried my things and set them on the table across from us. Her presence brought another round of calm to my frazzled nerves.
“Hey,” Kendall said casually as if we hadn’t come here together.
“Hi.” I greeted her as if we were out for coffee or having a drink at the bar instead of a BDSM club.
Kendall nodded to me, then turned to Logan. “I’m not the medic tonight, obviously. But I can be an advocate. The medic is behind me.”
“He better be,” Logan barked. “We’re at eight minutes. I can do basic first aid, so it was fine this time, but I expect a quicker response.”
Kendall gave him a sympathetic look before stepping closer to me. “I shouldn’t have left you alone. I was just telling Wicked that I kept getting pulled for aftercare. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I didn’t mean to cause such a fuss,” I protested. “It’s just a panic attack.”
“Let’s just get you looked at. Okay?” She held her hand out.
I took it and figured she was being sweet, but Kendall subtly checked my pulse.
“Is my pulse high?”
“A little bit high, but nothing alarming.” She smiled at me then looked at the doorway.
August, the medic I knew from around the hospital, stepped inside, hefting a duffle bag over one shoulder. Oh no! I’d been drooling over him the past few months. He pulled the door shut behind him as he approached. He had an undeniable sexiness about him and though I casually greeted him at the hospital, I took an extra minute to appreciate it. Sandy-blonde hair, expressive thick eyebrows, bright, ocean-blue eyes. I kept looking, trying not to check him out but he had muscled forearms—my weakness—though his weren’t quite as drool-worthy as Logan’s. Not that I compared the two of them. Between the handsome medic next to me, and Logan casually standing with his arms crossed, highlighting the sexiest forearms I’d ever had the pleasure of viewing, I could barely concentrate. And I wouldn’t mind being between the two of them. That thought flitted into my brain. I wanted to lick Logan from the tip of his fingers all the way to his damn neck, then explore lower while August spanked me.
Ugh. Where did that come from? I asked myself, but I knew. I had casually observed August in a scene a few hours ago, when we’d first got to the club, before everything had gotten to be too much, and my past had caught up with me. On the main club floor, August had expertly wielded a paddle across his scene partner’s ass and a twinge of want had run through me. Logan had also been on my mind all week. Wicked fantasies scrolled through my head on repeat, and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. Not since our interaction at his store. Using the toy he inserted the batteries into at the shop elevated my nighttime fantasies to another level.
I tried to stop staring at the two men and get myself together. Fanning myself, I blew out a breath. It had been way too long since I’d been in a relationship. The attractive medic set the bag on the floor next to me and snapped on a pair of purple gloves.
“Hey,” he said with an easy smile I’d drooled over a hundred times before, “I’m a medic with Falcon Creek Fire and Rescue. My name is August.”
“Hi, I’m Karsyn.” I’d meant to give him my club name, but it hardly mattered. August worked in the rescue squad and had to honor patient privacy information.
“I’d like to check your vitals. Which arm has a better blood pressure?” he asked with a wink.
It didn’t matter which arm he evaluated. My blood pressure was going to spike from all this attention. I was certain my cheeks were flooded with color. “Uh, my left one.”
“Great. Thank you.” He pushed the sleeve of my t-shirt high enough for him to wrap the cuff around my bicep. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“I had an anxiety attack.”
“Do you know what prompted it?” August finished with the cuff and jotted down the number in a small notepad. Taking my wrist in his gloved hand, he quickly checked my pulse.
“I was observing a few different scenes. I wasn’t actively in one if that’s what you’re asking.” I cleared my throat.
“After an intense scene your body can exhibit scary symptoms and it can happen from observing as well,” he said casually. “I’m going to listen to your breathing.”
I let out a deep breath as I watched him intently. August set the bell of the stethoscope on my chest and nodded once. He looped it around his neck and the movement flexed his forearms. Why did I want to bite them?
“Your vitals are good,” he stated matter-of-factly. “They aren’t giving me any indication of a bigger problem. No need for anything invasive tonight.”
I glanced around the room. “Did you say invasive because we’re sitting in what constitutes a medfet enthusiast’s wet dream right now?”
He grinned, showing a line of dazzling white teeth. August could be a model with the perfect dimple in his chin. It was hard to focus on whatever he was about to say with the way he was looking at me.
“I’m assuring you that you’re going to be just fine. Sometimes when you are in a scene your body can experience the equivalent of shock. There’s no indication you’re having a reaction. If you feel worse or it happens again, I’d recommend you contact your doctor. Did you eat today?”
“Oh, yeah,” I said confidently. “I had three whole meals and a snack.”
“How much water did you drink today?”
“We don’t have to play twenty questions.” I rolled my eyes.
“You haven’t had anything except iced coffee and creamer today, have you?” Logan asked from his spot.
His posture and cocked eyebrow stopped the sassy retort at the tip of my tongue from flying out of my mouth. He’d paid better attention to me then I realized. “It’s not any of your business, but you’re correct.” He rubbed his hand across his mouth as if stifling the urge to scold.
“I’ll get you two bottles of water and you’ll drink them before you leave tonight.”
“I….” Shutting my mouth with an audible smack, I realized I had nothing to say. He knew me better than I knew myself tonight. I handled a lot of things with ease, but self-care slipped low on the list of priorities and so had some basic needs. How embarrassing!
“Speak up.”
“I appreciate it,” I finally replied.
“That’s what I thought.” Logan turned his attention to August. “In addition to your report, make sure you fill out the club form.”
“Always do,” he muttered under his breath. “Not my first rodeo.”
I frowned, wondering why he seemed defensive around Logan. Kendall side-eyed August before looking at me, an unreadable expression on her face.
“It took you nine minutes to get here,” Logan said sternly.
“I apologize, Wicked, but I wasn’t scheduled tonight,” August quickly explained. “I ran out to my car for the gear, or I would have been here in less than three.”
“No one told me we didn’t have a medic on duty, but I’ll be finding out why.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, August scoffed. “Maybe you should have asked me before accusing me of not getting here in a timely fashion.”
“Do we need to take this somewhere private?” Logan threatened, but he did not appear irritated.
If I didn’t know any better, I would think the medic wanted to ruffle Logan’s feathers. I wish I knew them better, enough to gauge what sort of relationship they had. Kendall apparently knew them both because she was hanging on to every word.
August licked his lips before staring directly at Logan and giving him a cocky smirk. “I’m not really into whatever it is you’re offering.”
I doubted Logan was the type of man to get thrown off easily, but his jaw clenched and relaxed as he seemed to mull over a response. He took one step to August, meeting the distance between the two of them. He didn’t tower over the blond, but he was taller. Their sexual tension was almost audible, crackling in the air like electricity.
Logan puffed his chest out. “You’d be lucky if I offered to top you.”
August mirrored the motion, standing tall. A sexy, flirty smirk formed across his mouth. “You’d be lucky if I let you.”
Logan leaned closer, not quite touching August, but close enough to be in his personal space. “Club shuts down in two hours. Meet me at the front desk. We’ll work out the details.”
“After hours?”
“Ownership has its perks.”
Logan likely meant the club, which made a lot of sense, though I didn’t know for certain. The way he said ownership caused shivers to travel up my spine. The two of them were so hot. I’d never tried to guess a person’s sexuality before, but they seemed highly attracted to each other. Did that mean I had no chance with Logan or August? Kendall and I were practically drooling as we watched the exchange. It was better than a soap opera. I poked her and she winked. We waited patiently for August to reply. Thankfully it kept my mind occupied, and the last remnants of the anxiety slipped away.
“I’ll be there.” August stepped backward from Logan, increasing the distance between them. He grabbed his gear and glanced at me. “Are you feeling less shaky, sweetheart?”
I nodded. “My heart isn’t playing ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ against my chest anymore.”
“Good. If you start to feel symptoms again, you can ask a dungeon monitor, someone at the bar or whomever is manning the front desk, for a medic. I highly suggest a quiet spot without a lot of noise for the rest of your time here. It would also be a good idea to have someone to drive you home.”
“Thank you,” I said sincerely. “My friend Eloise drove me here, so I don’t have to worry about it.”
“Do you want me to find Eli and bring her here?” Kendall spoke up.
“There’s no need. I’ll be fine. I just…” Anxiety wrung my nerves. “I wanted to come here tonight so badly. Now I feel like I’ve wasted time and energy. Worse still, I’ve interrupted all of you.”
Logan and August lifted their heads in my direction, shooting a similar glare. Was every man in this club as handsome as the two of them? Why did they make me immediately think naughty, dirty, fantasies? Rein it in, girl. You don’t know either of them!