Chapter 13
A few weeks after my first visit to Creekside, I was back for a return. But it was different this time. Now I had both of my Dominants with me. Nerves prickled through me but I was more excited than scared or anxious. Since Logan owned the club, we were there in the middle of a random weekday afternoon by ourselves. We’d talked through the scene several times. I’d patiently explained my limits, plus things I was open to exploring. They were both willing to do whatever I wanted. Even with that knowledge, my nerves flared as we walked through the club. They led me into a huge private room. There were tables, couches, and an exam table in the far-left corner. I shook out my limbs, trying to ease my nerves.
“You can change your mind at any time, babygirl,” Logan said softly.
“I want to play,” I replied, scanning the room. “I have my safeword and my colors.”
“Yes, you absolutely do,” August agreed. “Why don’t you get undressed and put one of those nifty gowns on?”
He gestured toward the exam table where a pink hospital gown with ties lay folded on the edge. Walking slowly, I stepped to the table, gingerly picking up the gown. I raised an eyebrow and rubbed the material. It was softer than it looked, not scratchy like the ones you would find in a doctor’s office or hospital. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw August and Logan watching me. Something about their collective gazes on me prompted me to get undressed, slowly removing each part of my outfit piece by piece until I was naked with only the gown on my body.
“You’re so beautiful, Karsyn,” Logan breathed, rubbing the scruff on his beard as he so often did.
“Thank you, Sir.” I sat on the table, not sure what else to do.
“Lay down for me.” August approached. “I’ll check your vitals, make sure you’re completely ready for our scene.” He winked.
He looked so damn sexy in his dark jeans and red polo shirt. Something about the way he stared brought heat to my face. Or maybe it was the knowledge of what he was about to do to my body.
Tingling with anticipation, I laid down on the table on my back. Logan reached me first, fiddling with the table until I was in a more seated position while August snapped on a pair of gloves. The sound made me clench, reminding me of when he stuck his finger inside the tight ring of my ass in the supply closet. He started with the non-invasive measurements first, checking my blood pressure, pulse, and then my breathing.
“I’m completely fine, Sir.”
“Yes, but you haven’t been taking enough time for yourself to relax lately, have you?” August kissed my shin.
“You’re right. I could use some sort of release.”
“Relax, babygirl. You’ll get a release,” Logan whispered.
August shook down a thick glass instrument. It almost resembled an old-fashioned thermometer, but it seemed longer.
“Hang on, Sir.” I tapped my foot against the table.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Uh, what is that?”
“It’s a thermometer. It’s smart to have a baseline reading.”
He tore open a silver packet and squeezed a dollop of lubricant onto the tip of the rod. If I wasn’t already clenching seeing the determination on his gorgeous face would have caused the same reaction. August parted my thighs, but I slammed them shut.
“Open your legs, sweetheart.”
“I like them closed.”
“Do what you were told,” Logan growled.
“No!” I snapped. Before I could say anything else, Logan manhandled me across the table so that I was face down my feet dangling off the edge. Four hard smacks bounced off both sides of my ass. He kneaded his fingers into my pillowy butt cheeks until I groaned. Several harsher slaps connected with my sit-spots and upper thighs, each one building heat.
“Daddy,” I whined.
“What color are you, darling?” Logan drawled, amusement in his tone.
“I’m green, Sir.”
“Good girl. Now, stay still.” He landed another set of slaps against my heated bottom cheeks.
“You did such a good job, Sir,” August praised with a hint of sarcasm. “Our girl cooperates so much better when her sassy little ass is blushing.”
“She’s not the only one,” Logan mused.
“It’s not very nice to talk about yourself.”
Logan walked past my peripheral vision. “Step over here for a minute, August.”
August patted my hip. “Do not move, Karsyn.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I wisely said nothing else. I could wind up gagged and restrained to the table if I bratted too hard. I could tease August about his tone, however, it wasn’t the best idea. I heard Logan and August speaking in hushed whispers. Being nosy, I glanced over my shoulder.
“You were told not to move, babygirl. Not your head or your hands or any part of your body,” Logan admonished.
“So, then if I can’t move, I won’t be able to face forward. I’ll just have to keep watching you.”
“The two of you are just playing with fire today, aren’t you?” He stalked to the table.
“I’m sorry–” My apology turned into loud squeaks as he peppered my bottom cheeks with his palm.
“Keep your eyes on the poster on the wall.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Logan tugged me up on all fours. Cuffing my ankles in thick restraints, he attached them to the table. His hand snaked into my ponytail, flush against my scalp. He slapped my mound, catching my pussy lips from the size of his palm, several times in a row. “If I must repeat myself, I’m going to restrain your hands. If I have to do it again, you’ll get to be the first one to wear the brand-new toy I made last weekend. Ball gags eluded me for a while, but I’ve since perfected the process.”
“I’m sorry for sassing you, Daddy. Please don’t use a gag.”
“You’re forgiven. Why are you so interested in my conversation?”
“I’m worried. Is my Sir in trouble?”
“A little bit, but it’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Thank you for the reassurance, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome.”
I let out a breath as Logan released my hair and planted a kiss against my left temple. I dared not look behind me, but I heard the two of them talking to each other. After a few minutes that felt much longer, the two of them rejoined me at the table.
“Are you okay, Sir?” I directed my question to August.
“Yes, babygirl,” August answered. “I apologize for interrupting our scene. Sometimes I can’t stop running my mouth,” he said, chuckling. “Now, where were we?”
Parting my bottom cheeks with his hand, he teased the sensitive ring with a gloved finger. I squeaked, involuntarily clenching. The thick glass thermometer pressed to my back hole and I had zero warning before it slid into me.
“Take it out, Sir. Please?”
“Not yet. Relax.”
Several breathy moans fell from my lips as August pushed the thermometer further into my asshole. I fought to keep my limbs still. The rod stroked so many pleasurable spots inside me.
“That’s a good girl,” he said. “Stay nice and still while your temperature registers.”
“How much longer do I have to stay like this, Sir?” Despite the sugar-sweet tone of my wondering, his response to my question was to twirl the rod. Though it was smaller than the plug Logan bought me, the glass instrument tickled bundles of nerves.
“Until I say so.”
“Yes, Sir,” I cooed, practically purring against the table.
“I like you all sweet and subdued. Maybe Daddy should do this more often.”
“You better not,” I snipped but there was no bite to my bark. Logan responded before August even had a chance to process my snark. He reached across the bed and cracked his palm against my right ass cheek several times. If my feet weren’t bound to the bed, and August wasn’t holding a thermometer inside me, I might have kicked. “Ow!”
“Does Daddy need to teach you a lesson on how to speak respectfully?” Logan growled.
After a few tense moments of silence, I shook my head. “No, Daddy. I’ll be good.”
“You are good. But you have a naughty streak.”
“Yes, I do.” I agreed with Logan. “Thank you for reminding me that I’m good. Sometimes I forget. I’m starting to spiral in my head.”
“Easy, Karsyn. You’re always good, even when you are pushing buttons,” August added.
“I appreciate the reminder. Can we please move on to something else, Sir?” I gave an exasperated sigh.
“Another minute.” August pulled the thermometer out a bit before sliding it deeper than before.
The action pulled a loud moan from my mouth. “Daddy! Stop!”
“Which of us are you trying to get a response from, babygirl?” Logan asked sincerely.
“Either. Both!”
“What color are you?” Logan’s tone was low, husky and calm.
“Is there a color in between yellow and red?”
“August invented orange, meaning you’re beyond yellow but you dont necessarily need everything to stop. Did I describe what you’re feeling, Karsyn?”
“Sort of. I don’t know. Suddenly, this scene is more than I bargained for. I wanted to be spanked, experience lots of stimulation, and receive a fuckton of orgasms.” I took several deep breaths and started to cry. August removed the thermometer slowly. I heard him snap off the gloves and then the sounds of him washing his hands. Tears slipped down my cheeks. Logan quickly undid the restraints, sensing, more than seeing, my distress.
I ruined our scene. His disappointment felt palpable and cemented the niggling thought that he deserved better. They both did.
“I don’t know the measurement for a fuckton, babygirl,” Logan said, amused. “But we’ll be up for the challenge next time.”
“Wait, you’re not mad, Daddy? I wrecked our scene. I couldn’t just relax and take it, I had to brat and–” I stopped babbling when he turned me around and cupped my face in between his hands.
“You did not ruin anything.”
We sat for a few minutes with me in nothing but the hospital gown and him stroking my hair. Slowly the ringing in my ears faded and the tears stopped. “Can I get dressed? I’m cold.”
“We can raise the temperature of the room a bit. Unless there’s another reason?”
“I’m feeling raw. My emotions are all over the place. I have a knot in my belly and I’m a mess.”
Logan kissed the crown of my head. His always soothing presence helped, and I relaxed against the warmth of his body.
“I think you’re feeling guilty,” he whispered. “And I’d bet a nice, hot, bottom would probably do wonders to make the pinching feeling in your tummy disappear,” he whispered.
“No, the sensations are too much. I need it all to stop. Red!”
August had been quiet, lingering in the background as Logan comforted me. Now, he stepped closer, and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something.
Logan slid off the table and picked me up into his arms. He carried me to the sofa and covered my body under blankets. Laying me on top of his body, Logan rubbed my back until I sighed.
“Can you go and get some water and snacks, August?”
“Yeah, of course.”
August touched the crown of my head before he left the room. I snuggled closer to Logan.
“You’re such a sweet girl, Karsyn. Sometimes a scene doesn’t go according to plan, but as long as you’re with someone who has your best interests in mind, they can pivot. I will never be upset with you for reacting. Pleasure can bring up all sorts of different feelings in our bodies. Just because we paused, it doesn’t mean you wrecked the scene. We have lots of time to explore together.”
“But August is mad.”
“Did he say that, babygirl? Did August say out loud that he’s mad?”
“No, Daddy.”
“Then don’t jump to conclusions.”
Logan was so smart. When he said it like that, I understood the dynamic of a scene a lot better. It also made sense as to why you negotiated beforehand. I trusted them more than they knew. Then why did I want to ruin the first good relationship I’d had in so long? The fears I thought I’d thwarted came back in full force. When August and I talked the other night at his house, it brought them back to the surface. I’d assured him that I would never judge him, but I still felt like he might want a different type of relationship kink-wise than I did. It could be another insecurity of mine, but I had a lot of things on my mind. I’d have to bring them up at some point before the three of us went south because of my unspoken doubts. I’d fallen faster than I expected for my dominant Daddies, and I did not want to lose what we had. Even if I had to convince myself every day that I was worth it. I’d show them how much I loved and cared. I’d be a good girl for them, and we would navigate life together.
After I assisted Logan with Karsyn, making sure they had water and snacks, I’d given him a lame excuse about something needing my attention and hightailed it out of the club. That was hours ago, and my brain spiraled further with each passing minute as I sat home alone on my couch, running the worst possible scenarios in my head, binging on salty snacks and cheap beer.
Neither Karsyn nor Logan had needed me during our scene at the club. Medical play was a kink I enjoyed more than any other kink, but it had all gone downhill fast. Karsyn thought she wrecked our scene but my lack of confidence in front of Logan had been the culprit. At least that’s what I’d been telling myself as I played it back in my head for the past few hours.
Instead of explaining any of my thoughts or feelings, I sent Karsyn a lame text message. The one I shot off to Logan was worse. I broke up with them both in the span of a few minutes and a couple keystrokes. We were no longer in any sort of relationship. Of course, they both answered me, but I ignored them. I didn’t need to explain my reasoning. Plus, I wasn’t leaving Karsyn without a dynamic, she had Logan. I firmly believed in gently easing someone out of an intense BDSM connection even after a breakup. It was something I stuck to, but she still had him. He was a better Dominant than I ever could hope to be. Glancing casually at my phone, I saw several missed calls and a barrage of texts. A huge lump formed in my throat, but I told myself it was better to end everything early before anything became more serious.
That was a lie. An artfully fed lie that I believed just like all the other ones. I was deeply invested in both of them. My connection with Karsyn hit differently on multiple levels. She had been burned by her ex-boyfriend because of his manipulation surrounding BDSM in general. I refused to be the one who scared her away from her desires because of my own issues. And Logan would find someone else. Someone worthy of being his boy. A submissive who would follow his rules and not act out. Thinking of him caused tears in my eyes. I didn’t cry a whole lot in general, my tough exterior served me in the medical field, but my heart ached. I tried to get Logan’s face out of my thoughts but failed. He wouldn’t accept silence as the answer to the questions likely sitting on my phone screen unread. But. I couldn’t solve it tonight. Curling under the blankets, I made the decision to sleep on my couch. I deserved to be uncomfortable. And I’d be exhausted tomorrow. That’s what I should get for ending the two best relationships of my life without the courtesy of telling them to their faces how I was feeling. No, because then I had to acknowledge my failures, and I wasn’t strong enough to do that tonight.