Chapter 14
I paced in front of Logan’s office at the club, impatiently waiting for him to be finished with his call. He had no idea that I was fired up. I should have texted him. Called him. But I couldn’t calm down. August broke up with me via text message last night, and when I called in to take a mental health day, my boss denied the paid time off. I had holidays and sick time for things requiring a doctor visit but nothing else. I’d been so hell-bent on achieving success and getting to the next tier in my career, that apparently in the past year or so I’d never attempted to take any last-minute time off. Since I was in no sort of mood to work today, I quit my job. I’d been wanting to do that anyway, but the timeline shifted based on my circumstances.
Anyhow, when they refused to approve it, I’d showed up to their main office in Cheyenne. It wasn’t funny at the time, but thinking about what I’d done brought a small smile to my face. I’d strutted right in and dumped my briefcase full of samples onto the CEO’s head, flipped him off and slammed my resignation on his desk. Not my brightest move.
To make matters worse, I had a company vehicle, so unfortunately, I had to take a bus from the office. I wondered if I’d regret it tomorrow. I knew I’d acted rashly as I tended to do when I was hurting. Angry. A myriad of other emotions raged through me.
Of course, I’d been unhappy in my job for a while, but I thought I’d secure a new job before quitting this one. August had encouraged me to look for another job or a new career path. His task showed me that there were a million choices. Any career I wanted.
August. That was what this was about. Had I messed up his relationship with Logan too? Finally, the door opened, and Logan stepped into the hallway. He studied my posture and bid me to enter. I stormed in, not bothering to care about my attitude.
“What’s wrong, babygirl? Why aren’t you at work?”
“Do you both hate me?”
“Woah. Let’s take a second to calm down.” Logan shut his door and sat on the couch. He patted the cushion next to him.
I disregarded the action, choosing instead to set my hands on my hips and stay standing. “I fucked this all up! This is my fault, Logan. I don’t know how to fix it!”
“Okay, what we’re not going to do is argue or make assumptions. Come sit next to me.”
“No!”
“I told you to do something.”
I swallowed hard, staring at him, then resolved to follow his order. It wouldn’t help the situation if I poured lighter fluid on an already active fire. Flopping next to him, I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I don’t hate you, Karsyn. What’s gotten you so upset?”
“August dumped me via text!”
“Shit.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You didn’t know? I mean, this wasn’t planned? Are we still together?”
“Hang on. Take a breath.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“I assumed you knew of the events that transpired last night. I was too hurt to reach out to you, but I should have. I wasn’t sure if it meant all three of us were broken up or some combination or, well, I don’t know what I thought.”
Logan tugged me across his muscled thighs faster than I expected. He cracked his palm against both of my upper thighs. I kicked out my feet, yelling at the indignity of it. His hands weren’t light on a good day, and I had inevitably bulldozed him with information before giving him a chance to explain.
“Do you know what hang on means, darling?”
“Yes, Sir. I apologize for disregarding what you said.”
“I can’t speak for August so I’m not going to attempt to try, however I do not appreciate your attitude. You marched in here, fire blazing in your eyes, and refused to listen. Do not do it again.”
“I apologize, Sir. May I sit up?”
“No, we’re going to continue this conversation with you over my knee. Now, what did August’s message say that made you believe this was your fault?”
I sighed loudly. Logan rubbed my back, holding me tighter against his body. The action soothed some of the yucky feelings that had been barreling through my head all night. I should have let him know I was upset.
“Nothing pointed to that conclusion. I guess it was my interpretation.”
“And where did that conclusion get you, darling?”
“Nowhere good. I’m upset about being broken up with via a text message, for starters. It’s rude. Very rude! After everything we’ve been through in a short amount of time, it’s just not okay.”
“I agree, however, there’s no use dwelling on it. I believe August needs space to process whatever is going on in his beautiful head, but it’s not an excuse. He’ll have to explain it to you in his own words.”
“I should have handled this better.”
“I agree with you.” Logan planted a kiss on the crown of my head.
I hated the way I jumped to the worst possible outcome instead of thinking about it rationally. “We’ve only been together for a little while, but I’ve fallen hard, Sir. For both of you. To suddenly have the rug pulled out from under me as I’m navigating our throuple, is… unsettling.”
He slowly turned me around and sat me on his lap, brushing a piece of my hair out of my eyes, then kissed my forehead.
“You have every right to feel whatever emotions are coming up for you. There is no right way to act when these things happen, though stomping into my office wasn’t the best choice.”
“I understand, Sir. It won’t happen again, but I may have done the same thing earlier today.”
“Oh, babygirl,” he said, his amusement laced with concern. “Whose office did you storm this morning?”
“My previous employer.”
Logan shook his head and pulled me closer. His hand stroked my hair. I listened to his heartbeat as I felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest under me. Everything about him soothed me in ways I never could have imagined.
“I wish you had reached out to me. Instead of being upset about August and quitting your job, we could have come to a less dramatic resolution.”
“I dumped my sample case over the CEO’s head.”
Logan laughed so hard his sides shook. “Are you serious?”
“I was a little fired up, Daddy.”
“A little?”
“Yeah,” I said, laughing despite the situation as Logan wiped his eyes.
“One thing at a time. Do you still want to be in a relationship with me?”
I shifted around and took his face in between my hands before kissing him, deeply and passionately. I hoped my actions conveyed the words I couldn’t seem to form. He returned the kiss in kind, laying us down on the couch. We made out while I writhed underneath his strong, muscled body. I loved the way he touched me. Though we were both upset, connecting physically made the hurt easier to deal with.
“Is that a yes, darling or was that a goodbye kiss?”
“I don’t want to break up. Not just because I can’t handle the rejection of two failed relationships in as many days, but because I believe in us. I wholeheartedly believe we can make this work. I’ve told you about my past and you’ve accepted me.”
“Good. I believe the same. You’re not the only one feeling strongly about us. I think you’re an incredible woman, passionate, beautiful, headstrong–”
“I like the way you basically said brat in a more positive way.”
“Don’t interrupt me, darling. You’ve got a punishment coming before we sort the rest of this out.”
“For what exactly?”
“For not trusting me to help you navigate the situations you faced today. You faced them alone and it doesn’t seem like you learned anything considering the way you approached me.”
Ugh. Logan was correct on every point. If I had quit my job diplomatically or faced any of the other issues with firm resolve instead of my fiery temper, I may have been able to sway Logan to see my perspective.
“Please don’t punish me right now, Sir. I’ve been a mess all day.”
“All the more reason to help you work through the things that have been mucking up your head.”
“I don’t want a spanking,” I said firmly.
“You’ve connected the two in your head, but I have no intention of spanking you as a punishment. At least not today.”
“I may have said I don’t want one, but I do need one.”
“Oh, darling, that’s a different scenario. I’ll give you what you need, but it will be after we’ve addressed your behavior.”
“Will you hold me like this a little longer, Logan? I’ll comply, and I understand why I’ve got consequences coming, but I’ve been on edge since August’s message last night. I just keep playing our scene in my head over and over, trying to figure out what I did wrong.”
“I don’t think our scene was the catalyst. I’m not entirely sure why August pushed the self-destruct button, but he broke up with me too. Don’t you worry, I’m going to sort him out. I’ll fix us. All three of us.”
“I trust you, Daddy.”
“Thank you. I won’t take it for granted, babygirl.”
I grumbledas I sat on the couch in Logan’s office at Creekside. He had some work to do tonight, but then we were going to spend time together. But I was in the middle of a punishment.
“My hand is going to fall off!”
“What was that?” Logan glanced up from his paperwork.
The look he gave me made my stomach bottom out and my ass clench. “In excitement,” I clarified. “My hand is just so excited to be writing letters. I’m just so happy, which is why I got loud, Sir.”
“Excited, huh?”
He cocked an eyebrow and his stern tone combined with the gesture brought heat to my lady parts. Damn it. Why did everything about him turn me on? “Yes, Sir.”
“Finish up. Once your assignment is done, we’re going to my house. I’m going to take very good care of you.”
“Don’t you have to stay until the club closes?”
“Not tonight. I have a few more things I must handle, and then we can leave. Unless your letters aren’t completed by then.”
“They might not be.”
“Stop stalling. Doing so is only drawing this out and making it harder than it needs to be.”
“Harder than it needs to be,” I repeated. “A memoir by Karsyn Faith Campbell. Five stars. Highly recommended. An absolutely riveting read!”
“Laugh it up, sweet girl. You’re mine tonight.”
“Tonight and every night thereafter?” I was mostly kidding but the way Logan stroked the scruffy beard on his chin gave me pause.
“I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me, babygirl.”
I dropped my head to my chin studying the words on the page. Logan was annoyingly observant. It probably made him the perfect choice as someone who owned a BDSM club, as well as an excellent Dom.
My punishment involved three letters: one to August, one to my former CEO, and one to myself. The first two letters were easier than the last. The letter penned to me needed to apologize for treating myself poorly today. I knew how to handle both personal and professional losses and trials with grace, however, I often chose not to. The knowledge didn’t move me one way or the other, but it should have. After chewing on the cap of the pen for several minutes, I returned to the letter. I finished it off with a huge swirly signature and stood, approaching Logan’s desk.
“What did I tell you to do when you were done, Karsyn?”
I immediately returned to the couch. “I apologize, Sir. I’m processing a lot of emotions, and I forgot what you said. All three letters are signed, stamped and sealed. Well, not really, but they are complete.”
“Stand up and bring them to me.”
“Yes, Sir.” I rose to my feet and crossed to him. Logan pulled me onto his lap and accepted the letters.
“Thank you, darling.”
“You’re welcome. Are you going to read them?”
“I’d like to, unless you don’t want me to.”
“There’s nothing in there that I’m hiding from you. But it’s a lot.”
“Don’t worry, beautiful. I can handle it.” Logan pressed a kiss to my cheek.
“Do you think August is mad at me?”
“No, babygirl. I think August is mad at himself.”
“I wish he wasn’t, but I think you’re right.” I nuzzled under Logan’s chin as he read my letters. He kept me close to him, rubbing my shoulder or squeezing my hand occasionally. My insecurities were there on paper regarding myself, my relationship with August, and my career. And yet knowing that Logan cared enough to help me work through my emotions meant the absolute world to me. Sniffling, I brushed away the tears that slipped down my cheeks.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m proud of you for getting this all down on paper. You had a rough day, but that part is over now.”
“Your punishment was awfully creative.”
He grinned, a huge cheesy smile that brightened his face. “I hope you remember that the next time you take matters into your own hands.”
“I know how to handle my life.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Of course you can handle things on your own. You value your independence and so do I. I’m not threatening to take that away. But quitting your job was a major decision. Moving forward, before you act on an impulsive thought, whatever it is regarding, run it by me first.”
“You’re serious? About making decisions for me and helping me to grow, and all of it, aren’t you? Both of you? Well, if August ever pulls his head out of his ass.”
“Careful. I understand how upset you are, and I understand you haven’t gotten an explanation yet, but don’t say mean things about my boy. Even if he stomps away from me, he’s still mine. I spent the morning convincing him to continue our dynamic even if our relationship is on hold.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m hurting, but it wasn’t very nice of me to say.”
“I understand, and I would do anything to take the hurt away.”
“How can you be in a dynamic but not a relationship?”
“I meant a romantic relationship because you’re right. A dynamic is a relationship. If the two of us were ever in a similar place, I’d ease you out of the connection and not leave you floundering.”
“That means a lot to me. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, even as terrible as he was, not having the dynamic and structure still dropped me into a terrible depression. His rules and guidelines were borderline abuse in some cases, but they were things I adhered to daily. Without them I was despondent and unbalanced for a hot minute. I’d hate to think August was going through that.” I kissed his lips.
“No, he’s not. Well, at least not regarding the dynamic. I wouldn’t allow him to disengage completely, though he’s certainly attempting to.”
“We’re both lucky to have you.”
He winked. “I feel the same way. Now, let’s go. I want to spoil my girl.”
“You don’t have to spoil me, Logan.”
“I will anyway.”
Before I could argue, he stood and swept me into his arms. For the first time, I allowed him to take the wheel knowing it would lead us to a better outcome. The thought of Logan spanking me and bringing me to orgasm didn’t hurt the image either.