Chapter 9
Cassian wondered, as they arrived at Ashford Hall, if his wife would smell the smoke.
It had lingered long since the fire, but there were times when he was convinced that he was imagining it. However, what he was certain existed was the blackened half of the estate. He watched as Adelaide stared up at it, her shoulders trembling.
To his knowledge, she was unaware of what had happened there. But he did not think she needed to know, and she did not ask.
“It is…” she trailed off. “It is large.”
“Indeed. Fear not, you will not be charged with running it.”
She looked at him with confusion, for they never discussed her not having an active role in the running of her household. That was, after all, what a duchess did. It was her duty to ensure that everything ran smoothly.
Cassian hoped that she would not mind too terribly if she did not have a purpose.
“But I thought that—”
“You are not allowed,” he said simply. “I am forbidden to let you even try.”
“Is that to say that you have someone to answer to? I had never thought that a duke had to do that.”
“Then you thought wrong,” he said sharply. “And it is not that I have anyone to answer to. It is simply that—you will see soon enough.”
It was difficult for him to understand her. There were moments where he was convinced that she was afraid of him, and others where she seemed more than happy to tell him how she felt.
He had to admit that he liked those moments, those glimpses of personhood that she let slip through. But he did not know what she thought of her new home.
He watched as she studied the dreaded west wing, the charred skeleton with ivy crawling up it. He could barely stand to look at it, but she could not seem to look away.
“You will never go there,” he ordered. “Nobody does.”
“Will you ever rebuild it?”
He shook his head firmly. “It is enough that it remains there. Come, I made sure to arrive while the servants are sleeping. It makes it easier.”
“Easier?”
“We need not endure the introductions. It has been a long day; I did not want you to feel compelled to play the part.”
“I can assure you that I am not playing any part in anything. I am perfectly content to be a duchess and to carry out my new duties.”
“It won’t be necessary,” he insisted.
He did not want it to become a discussion. He simply wanted her to accept his decision and follow him inside. They would sleep, and then they would talk further once he had rested.
“Very well,” she whispered.
They made for the front steps.
It had rained recently, Cassian could tell. The stairs were slick. They should have been scrubbed, for green moss had begun to spread across them, but his servants knew not to touch them unless he gave express permission.
Now that he had a wife, it was time to take slightly more pride in his estate. But what remained of the other part would not be touched. He could not allow that.
A cold gust of wind blew, and when Adelaide turned to face away from it, she stumbled, slipping on the wet stone beneath her. Instinctively, Cassian reached out, catching her waist and pulling her up.
He had underestimated how slight she was, however, for he used too much strength, causing her to collide with him. He froze for a moment, her body pressed against his as she looked up at him in surprise.
But the worst part was the fear in her eyes. He knew that he was an imposing man, one with a large build and a stern voice, but he had hoped that she knew he would never use it against her.
“Do not fear me,” he said in as soft a voice as he could muster. “I will never hurt you, Adelaide. Nor will I raise my voice to you. That is not who I am.”
Adelaide seemed to steady herself, her breath clouding in the cold air. With a slow nod, she followed him inside.
He watched as she studied the interior, a stark contrast to the ashes outside. It was too polished, too perfect, as though one would make a mess by simply walking through it. He caught her looking over her shoulder to check if she had left footprints.
“This is your home now,” he said. “I will show you to your room.”
“Thank you. Has it always looked so… pristine?”
“Indeed. As I do not touch the exterior, the servants have more time to spend inside. They like to keep it to this standard. They seem to think that I would scold them otherwise. Though if you ask me—” He stopped himself.
The truth was, the servants would be scolded, but not by him. He was aware that Adelaide would have to meet her, and soon, but he wanted to delay it for a while longer. It was a lot to place on a young lady’s shoulders, and he wanted her to at least be rested.
“We can discuss it tomorrow,” he finished, leading her to the stairs.
They reached her bedchambers, and little more was said between them. He watched as she peered around her new room, her eyes glinting with excitement, and he did not want to bother her for much longer. They bid each other goodnight, and then he left her to do as she pleased.
He made his way to his study, knowing that it would be impossible to attempt to sleep. Too much had happened, and too much was yet to come. He longed for some time alone in his dark study, where he could draw his thick black curtains, sit by the candlelight, and do nothing.
But of course, he was never afforded such a luxury.
“I do not like her,” the woman sitting at his desk said.
“You do not know her,” he replied, sitting across from her.
It was clear that she had been waiting for him. Her dark hair was a mess, and her brown eyes were narrowed in accusation. She knew where he had been. In fact, he had invited her to the wedding, but she had refused.
The last thing she wanted to do was watch him ruin a young lady.
“I know enough. She is far too small. She won’t be able to defend herself.”
“That is not just cause to dislike someone, Mother,” he groaned. “You shall speak with her in the morning, and you will be pleasant. Do I make myself clear?”
“Ah, so you think you can order your mother about, now? I raised you, Cassian, not the other way around.”
“And a fine job you did.” He grimaced, looking anywhere but at her. “She seems to have taken your rule well, for what it is worth.”
“That she is not to help me in any way? Yes, I should think so. Now, she can live as a wealthy lady—a duchess, at that—and never have to lift a finger. A charmed life.”
“What more do you want from her? You made it clear that you did not want her to do anything, so you cannot resent her now for doing exactly that.”
“And why not? Need I remind you that I did not want you to marry in the first place? You have made this decision by yourself, but that does not mean that I have to respect it.”
Cassian knew that there was no sense in arguing with her. His mother had never approved of anything he did, and finding what he thought was a pleasant enough wife would not change that.
He rose from his seat, knowing that there would be no resolution.
“And now you are leaving me once again?” she scoffed. “Such cruelty.”
“You have been drinking.”
“I have been celebrating. Joy of joys, my dear son has taken a wife, someone else to hurt instead of his own mother. I am a most fortunate lady.”
“Mother, I—this is not worth my time, is it? I will speak with you when you have come to your senses.”
“I will not speak with her,” she warned. “If you try to force me, I will not be kind. I want you to know that.”
“Very well. But that is a shame, for you would like her a good deal.”
“I do not like anyone,” she said simply.
He knew that all too well, unfortunately.
He left the study. He did not want to keep the two ladies apart; it was needlessly complicated to do so. Plus, he wanted his wife to trust him. That would never happen if she knew that he was hiding a person in the house, so he would have to tell her eventually.
But he could not force them to like one another. Adelaide would not be able to force herself to like such a cold and unfeeling woman, he knew that much, and his mother could not be convinced to like anyone. It was not how she was, and not how she had been for a very long time.
“I could not make her leave, Your Grace.”
Cassian turned to see his housekeeper, Mrs. Johnson. Her hair was graying, but her green eyes remained soft and gentle. Adelaide would at least like her, he presumed.
“I thank you for not trying too hard. Why are you still awake?”
“I wanted to make sure that you did not need my assistance. I watched you both through the window when you arrived. She seems rather lovely.”
“Too lovely. She will have to change that if she wishes to truly belong here.”
“Is that to say that I do not belong here, or that I am cruel?” she asked, a faint smile on her lips.
“You know what I mean, Mrs. Johnson.”
“As do you. I have known you since you were a boy, Your Grace. You are not half as unkind as you want people to believe.”
But he was. It was how he had always been perceived. In time, he had learned that there was no changing that, so he simply played into it. He was fearsome, so he learned to be feared. It was simple.
But the woman in front of him had never once believed that. He did not know if that was his favorite thing about her or the worst.
“I ought to rest,” he said, looking down at his shoes. “I suppose breakfast with my wife would be a good thing.”
“You owe her that much. Does she mind not having any real influence here?”
“She seemed confused, but that will change when she understands why. I can only hope that my mother comes to accept her presence here. I know that she does not want to lose her authority, but she will not be here forever, and I must be prepared for that day.”
“You need not explain it to me. I know why you have done all of this. Your mother does too, but she needs time. All you must do is tell your wife that she is not a villain until she sees it for herself.”
Cassian was quite convinced that his mother was a villain, but he knew that was unfair. She was indeed unkind to him, but he could not blame her. After all, it was his fault that she despised him.