Chapter 8
“Iam pleased that the ceremony will be small,” Adelaide said quietly as they left the house.
The gown was, as expected, nothing short of incredible. There was lace and bows in the perfect places, embroidery on the hems and across her veil. She felt plain in comparison to what she was wearing, but she did not mind that too much. It was simply a sign of what was to come.
Only a handful of witnesses were going to attend.
There would be the Duke’s solicitor, her mother, and Cecilia, who was under strict instruction to sit discreetly in the back.
There would be no flowers, no music, and no celebration.
But that did not affect Adelaide too terribly.
The fewer people who saw the spectacle, the better.
Her hands trembled in her gloves as their carriage pulled away from the house, and her mother reached out to take them.
“All will go well, dearest. I assure you.”
“You have far too much faith in me, Mama. I will likely fall on my face walking down the aisle, forget my vows, and drop my ring. If he does not run out of the chapel, it will be a miracle.”
Her mother laughed, tapping her hand gently. “You have never believed in yourself, Adelaide. I do not understand what you think is so wrong with you.”
“Nobody else seems to have such a difficulty.”
Her mother’s expression shifted. It was not quite a stern look, but it was firmer than she was used to.
“Now, you listen to me,” her mother said in a measured tone. “Starting today, you are a duchess. You shall be the wife of the fearsome Duke of Ashford, and that means people will have no choice but to admire and respect you.”
“Mama, that is not—”
“And consider this. Today, you have the opportunity to become someone else entirely. In the last year, I felt as though I lost my daughter as well as my husband, and I cannot allow that to continue. If you no longer want to be the volatile Lady Adelaide Wynn, then there is no better day to change that than today. When you walk out of the chapel, show the ton who you truly are. You only have one chance.”
Adelaide did not know what to say. She knew that she had changed for the worse, and that her mother wanted her to be her younger self again, but that girl was long gone.
Perhaps that was for the better.
With a nod of agreement, she straightened up and squared her shoulders as if in preparation for battle.
It would be a long and difficult day, but it would come to an end, and then she would take every day as it came.
Whether she liked it or not, she was marrying into a family that nobody could question, and that gave her hope.
Everything would change, even if she was just as alone as she had been before.
She stepped into the chapel and found the Duke waiting for her. He was far more put together than he had been the night before, when he had tumbled into her garden and fallen beside her. She had been taking the air when he appeared, and with his condition, she found it easier to speak her mind.
She wondered if he remembered their conversation, and if he would hold it against her if he did.
When she reached him, he offered her his arm in a way that could only be considered formal. The first touch sent shivers through her. She tensed, and she wondered if he had felt the connection too. But only for a moment, for she knew the truth.
He spoke his vows first, never once taking his eyes off her. There was no gentleness, but there was an intensity. A fierce, quiet claim that she could not understand. Considering their small audience, there was no need for the act.
When it came time to exchange rings, his fingers brushed hers, deliberate and firm.
“Oh!” she gasped.
“Do you like it?” he asked quietly.
“Yes.”
His touch lingered long enough for her pulse to quicken. The cold of the metal sent a rush through her, and she hoped more than anything that she was not blushing too fiercely.
“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the vicar declared, and then it was done.
Cassian did not kiss her, which she had expected. Instead, he leaned close, his lips almost brushing her cheek in a way that felt intimate.
“I will not feign affection for the sake of witnesses,” he murmured. “I hope you understand that.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
“Cassian,” he corrected. “We might as well drop the formalities.”
It was the sensible thing to do, but Adelaide did not know how much of a difference it would make. After all, he had made it clear that he had no intention of spending time with her and that he wanted them to live separate lives, regardless of how she felt about it.
She wondered if his using her given name was a mere attempt at offering her some form of intimacy, but she knew the truth. It was the more convenient way to be, and that was all he cared about when it came to their marriage.
And yet, as they turned to leave, Cassian placed his hand on the small of her back.
Regardless of what he had said, Adelaide knew that such an action was not performative. If it were, he would have kissed her, too. His touch was possessive, protective, and unmistakably intimate, the very opposite of what he had told her to expect.
She caught Cecilia’s eye, and her friend gave her a look of triumph.
Perhaps Cassian had decided to change, just as she had. Perhaps he would become an entirely different man, now that he was married. She needed it to be the case, for the hope that had bloomed in her heart threatened to abandon her.
Regardless of the size of their wedding party, they had a wedding breakfast. It was grander than the ceremony itself, decorated with roses and with musicians playing in the corner of the room.
At last, it felt as though Adelaide was celebrating, and it only made her more secure.
“I told you!” Cecilia grinned a short while after their arrival.
“I do not believe that is what happened.” Adelaide chuckled. “If I recall correctly, you claimed that he is a dreadful man who will never love me.”
“I did, yes, but I also said that he could change my mind, and it seems that he has. That touch had to mean something, Adelaide. It had to.”
Adelaide dared to hope, dared to believe that there was something more to it. But when she looked at her husband, she knew that something was wrong. He would not meet her eyes, and he sat to eat without asking her to join him.
“Nerves,” Cecilia explained. “Do not let it distract you. This is what you wanted, and it is yours. Be happy with it.”
Adelaide made her way to the table and took her seat. She waited for Cassian to say something, but he remained silent.
“That was a nice ceremony,” she tried.
“No, it was not. It was plain.”
“I shall have you know that I liked that. It was about us, rather than how much money you spent.”
“If that is what you think.”
Adelaide raised an eyebrow, confused as to what had so suddenly changed. She had not imagined what had taken place, for Cecilia had also witnessed it, but nothing else made sense. His actions indicated that he truly wanted her, while his words indicated otherwise.
“I do like what has been prepared here,” she tried again. “So, if it is anything to you, I suppose you are right. I do enjoy the decorations.”
“You have the housekeeper to thank for that. This was her idea. I wanted no part in it.”
“But—”
“Adelaide, I have already told you what I want from all of this. Do not try to change my mind.”
That was not what she was trying to do.
Anger rose in her chest. He had made her believe that he had changed his mind, even with such small gestures. She had not forced him to do that.
“Very well,” she said through gritted teeth. “I will not.”
At that moment, her mother raised her glass, her smile wide.
“I would like to congratulate the happy couple,” she began. “I have always dreamed that my daughter would find the love I shared with her father. She may have gotten here through unconventional means, but I cannot claim to be any less proud of her.”
Adelaide looked at her husband out of the corner of her eye. It was strange for her mother to tell such a story, because there was nobody there to convince. It was evident that there was no love between them, and there never would be, but she did not seem to care about that at all.
“And, Your Grace,” her mother continued, “I want to thank you. I have always wanted a son, though I have been fulfilled by my dear daughter. When I lost my husband, I prayed that someone would save my family, and you have done just that. I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. You will be there to protect my daughter, and I cannot put a price on that.”
Even Adelaide had to acknowledge the irony of calling his efforts priceless, when he had not even received her dowry.
“Mama, thank you. You may sit now.”
“But I am not finished! I also wanted to say that I am pleased that you have the protection of a man now, for that is the duty of a husband.”
“Yes, Mother. We thank you. Now, please sit.”
At last, her mother sat back down.
Adelaide sighed with relief. It had been a slow process, but her mother had been changing since the loss of her father, and with what Adelaide had been through, it had worsened.
It was why, even though she was not pleased with her husband, she was grateful to board the carriage and leave for her new home. They would be traveling for the rest of the day, as they both needed distance from London. And that was unnerving, as she did not know what to say to him.
To her surprise, he spoke first.
“I apologize for my outburst.”
“Oh! It is quite all right. It has been a long day, after all. I also apologize for my mother’s speech. She means well, but…”
“But she is not of sound mind. I can see that.”
“You can imagine my fears, then. Fortunately, the ton never noticed because they were too busy watching me. But now, with my absence, I fear they will see it.”
“Fear not. They shall not send her to Bedlam, or any of the things that you were threatened with. There is a kindness granted to those who were once in love, so she will be fine for a while.”
He spoke with a certain wisdom, as though from experience, but Adelaide did not pry. He was trying, and she did not want to push him too hard.
“I do fear what will happen when such charity wears thin,” she muttered.
“We will take care of her. That is what you wished to discuss with me, isn’t it?”
Adelaide whirled to him in surprise. She had been afraid to speak with him about the situation, as she had expected him to accuse her of only wanting his money.
But of course, that was not how he perceived her.
He knew that she had shared in his reluctance and was not marrying him for his money or his title.
“In a way,” she admitted. “You see, my mother has never been alone. She had seven brothers and sisters, and then, when she married my father, they never spent a day apart. Then she had me. She does not know loneliness, and I fear what will happen when she does.”
“And, of course, there is the matter of your family’s estate.”
“You know, then,” she said quietly.
“I did not seek to learn of it. I had not asked for a dowry because it was my preference. Knowing that your mother has such a difficulty, however, I have been thinking that we could assist her. It is my duty to protect your family as well as you, and I can do that with relative ease.”
Adelaide thanked him and then settled in her seat. She was pleased to know that she had a good man for a husband, for fundamentally, that was what he was. He wanted to do right by her, and he was making that known with his actions.
She felt like a petulant child, for she knew that actions were far better than mere words, but it was not what she wanted. She wanted him to change his mind about what he wanted for them, but that was too much to ask. She had enough, as it was.
She had a good husband, one who would make sure she would want for nothing. He would give her freedom, care for her mother, and let her act as she pleased.
It was everything that she could ask for, as long as she accepted the one thing that she did not like, and she was beginning to wonder if she could do that.
For she was trying hard not to fall for him, while he was assuring her that he would never do the same for her.