Chapter 14
Dear Adelaide,
We are all delighted to hear that you have arrived safely. We cannot wait to see you, and for you to have some respite from your new life. Fear not, we have all felt as you do now, but we can discuss that when we next see each other.
In the meantime, try not to worry yourself. All will be well; it always ends that way. We shall see you at the end of the month.
Sincerely,
Cecilia.
Adelaide could not help but laugh softly at how certain her friend was. She did not doubt that they had endured hardships, but as far as she was aware, there were no madwomen who hated them.
It had been three days since Cassian had told her that his mother could not stand her, and she could not think of anything else. It was not that she expected to be adored by everyone at Ashford Hall, but she had hoped to be liked.
She wished that he had warned her about what was to come, but she also understood why he had kept it from her. It was not as though she could have refused to marry him, after all.
“They will arrive at the end of the month,” she said quietly when she passed him in the hallway. “That gives us two weeks. Is that enough time to arrange things?”
“I believe so. I will send her away the day before their arrival, so that we can have things in place.”
“We?” she echoed. “I thought that I was to be charged with it.”
“And you are, but there is no harm in my ensuring everything is as it should be. I want to help you.”
And for that, Adelaide did not know what to make of her husband. He claimed to be unfeeling, to want to keep his distance, but then he wanted her to feel as welcome as possible. He had every right to refuse the visit, but he had not, and she wished that she understood why.
But she did not ask, and she knew that he was not going to tell her either.
He left her in the hallway, and as she turned, she found the Dowager Duchess watching her.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I am walking,” Adelaide replied, not entirely certain of what the older woman wanted her to say.
“And why is that?”
“Because, in order to reach the drawing room, one must use the hallway—I do not understand your question.”
“No, that is obvious.”
But the Dowager Duchess did not explain any further. She simply stepped up to her side and motioned that they walk together.
Adelaide did not have the heart to tell her that her true intention was to go to the garden for a while, so she followed her.
Once they were in the drawing room, she sat stiffly, looking at the window.
She would have preferred to look out of it, but it was covered by a curtain, and she did not want to open it.
“You have yet to run away,” the Dowager Duchess noted. “Why is that?”
“Because this is my home,” Adelaide replied simply. “I know you are not pleased about that, but I cannot change matters. I live here now.”
“Yes, it would seem that is the case. And what are your intentions toward my son?”
“I will be a good wife to him, in whichever way he needs me.”
Though not true, it was the best thing to say.
Adelaide felt like she was betraying herself, but she knew better than to say something that her mother-in-law would not like to hear. There was nothing to be gained in saying that she wanted more than the cold, loveless marriage Cassian expected. Not to someone like the Dowager Duchess.
The woman opened her mouth to say something more, when Cassian stepped into the room. She sat back, her mouth closing. Cassian did not look at her. Instead, he looked directly at Adelaide.
“We have received an invitation,” he announced.
“A ball?” she asked.
He shook his head. “It arrived this morning—a sealed letter from Westminster.”
Adelaide did not know what to say to that, but she had a feeling that it was something bad.
Cassian seemed almost pained as he told her about it. His mother, on the other hand, was looking at them both triumphantly, as though she had been expecting it.
“Is everything all right?”
“Technically speaking, yes. A new bill affecting several northern estates has been proposed, and because Ashford is involved, you and I are expected to attend a public presentation at Somerset House.”
“A presentation?” Adelaide echoed. “I… I have only been to one, and that was when I was presented to Her Majesty.”
“And how was that?”
“It was fine enough,” she replied, remembering the day rather fondly. “She said that I was pretty. A most gracious remark.”
“Then you will be prepared for what is ahead. Mother, if I may, I need a word with my wife.”
“Anything you can say to her, you can say to me.”
“Anything?” he asked. “Are you suggesting that anything appropriate for husband and wife is appropriate for mother and son?”
The Dowager Duchess shot him a disgusted look and scurried out of the room.
Despite the humor Adelaide found in it, she was confused as to why he had spoken to her mother in that way. It was unlike him.
“You seem more willing to tell her how you feel than usual.”
“You may not have noticed, but I am at my wits’ end with her. Sometimes I can hide that, sometimes I cannot. And when I need to have a discussion with you, I do not have time for her.”
She accepted that.
He explained what would happen. It would be a formal gathering of landowners, politicians, and investors. Not a ball, not a soirée, but something far more serious, and far more scrutinized. They had to be perfect, especially as they were newlyweds.
And, for the first time since the wedding, they needed to present a united front.
“But that…” Adelaide trailed off. “That is not what you wanted.”
“At home, yes, but this is different. We must pretend that we are basking in marital bliss if we are to be taken seriously.”
“And what are these laws, exactly?” she asked.
He raised an eyebrow at her. “I was not aware that you would need to know.”
“It would be preferable. I would hate to appear uneducated, especially when this will be their first impression of me, for the most part.”
Once again, approval flashed in his eyes.
Adelaide wanted to say that it did not matter what he thought of her, and that she did not act to please him, but there was no denying the satisfaction she felt when he liked what she said or did.
“Very well.” He nodded. “But I shall explain in the carriage. We are to attend now.”
“But that is so sudden! I thought that such meetings were planned well in advance.”
“They often are, and this one is no exception. I have only just found the invitation in my study; we are lucky that I did not miss it. Come, you must dress accordingly.”
Adelaide did not ask him how he had missed the invitation, for she did not have the time. She went to her room, where Lilly dressed her in a pale blue gown and tamed her hair into submission.
She tried to carry herself in the way that was expected of her, for she knew that the ton’s perception of her meant everything, but she could not see a duchess in herself.
She saw a young lady who had been pushed into a role she had never asked for, one that she had never expected.
“I cannot be an actress,” she sighed.
Lilly placed her hands on her shoulders. “You need not be one,” she said firmly. “You can do this, Your Grace. Do you think it comes easily to everyone else? No, they are all playing pretend. You are no different from them, even if you believe the contrary.”
Adelaide wanted to believe it. She wanted to know in her heart that she was just as good as the people she was to be surrounded by, but she knew the truth.
She liked her friends, but she was not like them. She was the very opposite of a noblewoman. She was simply Adelaide, a lady who had a narrow escape from a horrible gentleman.
A gentleman with a lot of influence.
“Will Mr. Hargrave be there?” she asked in the carriage.
Cassian shook his head. “I do not believe so. To my knowledge, he does not own any land that would be affected, so he would not be invited.”
“Unless he is friendly with the organizers, which he likely is.”
“That is entirely possible, but even if he is there, there is no need for you to worry. I will be with you, and he would not dare say a word against you if I am standing there.”
“But what if he—”
He took her gloved hand in his, looking at her so intently that she could not think about Mr. Hargrave—or anything else, for that matter. Her husband seemed to know her more than he claimed, for he always seemed to do and say exactly what she needed.
“I will be by your side,” he said firmly. “You and I will be the most respected people there, and everyone in attendance will act accordingly, as long as you prove yourself.”
Although Adelaide did not know what to do with herself, she knew that was what she wanted. She would do anything necessary if it meant earning the ton’s respect.
Whether she felt it or not, she was the wife of the Dragon Duke. She had to play into that—be fearsome rather than feared.
“Very well.” She smiled. “Now, what will we do there?”
“We will greet the assembly, and then I will go to have a discussion with the gentlemen. Meanwhile, you will remain with the ladies, and you will discuss whatever it is that ladies discuss.”
Her heart lurched with trepidation. If the other ladies in attendance had been married longer than her, there was a strong possibility that they had been married for a long time, and that they had children and love and all the things she did not.
She could not even run her own household, so she was not going to fit in with them.
But, for her husband’s sake, she would try. It was the least she could do, especially when he had gone to the extent of convincing his mother to leave for a week.
They arrived, and Adelaide put her hand on her husband’s arm, and they made their way inside. She was prepared for battle, which was what she was convinced it would be.
The fact that all eyes swiveled to them the moment they entered did not help. Conversation died down, and silence reigned, such that one could hear a pin drop.
Adelaide could only look at her husband.