Chapter 13
Cassian wished he knew why he so easily gave in to his wife’s demand.
He was supposed to be cold to her, as unfeeling as he could muster. Plus, he knew that it was not a good idea to have other people over. And yet she had asked him, and he had promised to do what he could.
Perhaps, he reasoned as he arrived at his mother’s door, he wanted to appear as a good husband.
He had done enough unfair things, and it was preferable for his mother to take the fall for hurting Adelaide.
It did not matter, after all, whether or not he was happy for her friends to visit.
All that mattered was what his mother thought of it.
“Come in,” she called.
He pushed the door open to be greeted by her scowling face. He took a breath and approached her, trying as always to ignore the way her upper lip curled at the sight of him.
“Hello, Mother.”
“I did not ask for you to visit me today.”
“No, I know. I was hoping that I might ask you something.”
“And I was hoping you would not,” she grumbled, before waving her hand dismissively. “Go on, say what you must.”
“I thought you might like some time away. You have not been anywhere in years.”
She eyed him carefully. He knew that she saw through him; she always did. She knew that he had other reasons for asking.
“Your wife wants to get rid of me, yes?”
“Not at all. This was my idea, and she does not even know that I am asking you.”
“You must take me for a fool. She has already asked me why I’m staying here.”
“Well, you have to admit that it is strange. You hate it here.”
“And who will watch over you? You have always been so ungrateful, Cassian. You need me here.”
He shuddered. He did not need her. She only made his life more difficult, and he hated that she truly believed she was what kept the household running. Most servants were terrified of her, and his wife looked as though she had seen a ghost after each interaction they had.
But he could not say that. If his mother felt threatened, she would strike, and she was always angrier than him.
“I know how tirelessly you work,” he said comfortingly, though he did not dare touch her. “I know that you do so much for us, which is precisely why I thought a trip would be good for you. It need not be long, only a few days, but you deserve some rest.”
Fortunately, he knew how to handle his mother as well as she knew how to manipulate him. He could see her trying to argue, but there was nothing she could say. She wanted time away—she had for years—but she had never dared to voice it.
“What did you have in mind?” she asked.
“Perhaps the next village? We could even arrange for you to stay by the sea for a week. It would be good for you, Mother.”
“And how will you cope in the meantime? That wife of yours will not be able to handle matters the way I do, so I will have to fix everything when I return.”
“Or you could leave a list of things to do for the servants. You know they will do as you say.”
He leaned on her authority, appealed to her demanding nature, and it was working. She was not smiling at him, but her face no longer showed pure disgust, and that had to mean something.
“Very well. When am I to leave?”
“In three days, perhaps?”
“If that is what you want.”
The tension left his shoulders. It felt good to win, even if it was a small victory. It made him want to push it further, even though he knew that it would risk the progress he had made.
“And Mother?” he asked. “In the meantime, would you mind showing Adelaide some kindness? I know that you do not want her here, but she is, and it would be easier for both of you to get along.”
“She does not want to like me. I can see it.”
“And you do not want to like her. However, if we are going to live together, it is for the best that we all try.”
“Have you lectured her, too?”
“As a matter of fact, I have,” he lied. “I will not allow the three of us to live unhappily, so we must try.”
There was no argument for her to make, and she did not invent anything either. Her eyes fell to the floor, and she mumbled something unintelligible, but it seemed to resemble acceptance.
He thanked her for her understanding and left the room more quickly than was normal.
He hated that she sat in the dark. He hated that he recognized the same trait in himself, finding clarity in as little light as possible. He did not want to be like the woman who had made him so miserable for years, but there was no changing himself.
“My mother will not be present when your friends come over,” he later told Adelaide.
Her face lit up. “I—thank you! How did you do it?”
“That is what I must discuss with you. As far as she knows, you do not have friends visiting, the trip is a token of gratitude for everything she’s done for the estate, and I have told you to be nice to her.”
Her brow furrowed, as he had expected.
“But I have been nice to her. I have perhaps asked too many questions, but I was never unkind.”
“And that is the case. But if we want her to do what we want her to, we have to make her believe that it was her idea. She is happy to go as it stands, but you will have to play the part for a few days.”
She nodded.
Although Cassian had planned to leave, he did not. He remained standing before her, and she continued to look up at him. The air thickened with tension, as though so much remained unspoken between them.
“Would you like to have tea with me?” she asked. “I understand that you are busy, but it feels as though I do not know you at all, and I do not want that for our marriage, even if it is what you would prefer.”
He wanted to say no. Tea would mean conversation, which would mean her getting to know him, and he did not want that. He preferred being an unknown entity, someone she could not think about. Still, the prospect of spending time with her was enticing, and he could not refuse it.
“We can do that, yes. Will the drawing room be best?”
She nodded, and within minutes, they were sitting across from one another, awaiting sandwiches and cakes. Cassian tried not to think about how much warmer the room felt simply because she was sitting in it.
“Do you prefer sweet or savory food?” she asked after a while.
“You must be assuming savory, yes?”
“I do,” she giggled. “Perhaps it is your demeanor, but I cannot imagine you enjoying a biscuit with icing on it, or ignoring a cucumber sandwich and instead reaching for a cake.”
“You would be wrong.”
At that moment, the tray arrived. As she poured him a cup of tea, he plucked a cake and bit into it.
The truth was that he had the most terrible sweet tooth. He could not help himself; it was the best treat to have, and he could afford to have many. He also took a square of chocolate and popped it into his mouth, chewing on it happily.
But it would seem he was guilty of making assumptions too, for she gave him a small smile before taking a sandwich and biting into it pointedly.
“You prefer savory?” he asked.
“Did you assume the contrary?”
“Of course. I thought that ladies enjoyed afternoon tea because of the treats.”
“Many do, but not me. I prefer meat over chocolate, and vegetables over fruits. I do not know why, but it has always been this way.”
“And what else do you like? You must have grown up learning the more ladylike pursuits, yes?”
“Indeed, but I must admit that I prefer to read. It is how I met the Duchess of Pridefield, actually. She used to write articles about topics that should have ruined her reputation, but I always had a taste for them. They taught me that I did not need to think in the way I was expected to.”
“I did not think that you would have such views.”
“Then you should have asked,” she said, blushing.
“I may feel a certain way about matters, but I am also not a fool. I know that any lady in my position would have done what was necessary to protect her family’s reputation.
But that does not mean I do not hold the same values that other, more reckless ladies might have. ”
“I can understand that. I must say that I agree with many of them. For example, I find it bizarre that ladies cannot receive a formal education. The most intelligent people I have ever met are not men, I can promise you that.”
She laughed, and he felt himself settle.
For someone that he wanted to avoid, she was remarkably easy to talk to, and he did not know what to make of that. He was not supposed to find her endearing, nor was he supposed to enjoy her company. Their marriage was to be cold, cordial, and nothing more.
And yet, when she smiled at him, he wondered if he was making a mistake.
“You will like my friends,” she assured him. “They are very quick-witted, and they care about me, especially the Duchess of Pridefield.”
“You speak highly of them. But if I recall correctly, are they not older than you and me?”
“By ten years or so, yes, which is precisely why I value them so much. They have been duchesses for years, so they are exactly what I need to succeed in my new role.”
It was difficult not to admire her. She wanted to be good, even if his mother would never allow her to try. Fortunately, he had no intention of letting his servants adhere to his mother’s rules any longer. While she was away, he wanted Adelaide to take the mantle.
When he explained as much, her eyes widened, and her hands paused mid-air.
“I cannot,” she stammered. “Your mother would know, and—and if she—”
“I do not mean to be morbid,” he sighed, “but my mother will not always be here. Eventually, you will have to fulfill your duties, and I want you to be prepared. It will only be for a week, and it will be good for you.”
“But she will hate me.”
He did not want to say it, but she had to have thought it already.
“She already does.”