Chapter 19
Cassian wanted to like events.
Seeing his position, it was important for him to partake in them, and because of that, he wished he enjoyed them more. It would have made things easier. But as it was, it was the worst part of his role.
The ballroom was stifling, and the rustling of skirts and the mingling perfumes was causing a headache that was growing more difficult to ignore. What was worse was that his wife was by his side, looking completely ravishing, while his mother glared at him every now and then.
He did not know what had convinced her to attend that night, but he was aware that she could easily cause trouble.
He pushed the thought aside, knowing that it would show on his face. He could not allow that. He had to be perfect; they all did. Fortunately, that was something his mother had always held above everything else, so she would not dare put a foot wrong.
“Are you all right?” he whispered to Adelaide when they had a moment alone.
Her hands were clasped in front of her, and she was not quite able to meet his eyes. Instead, she was looking around the room, seeing the dozens of people watching them.
“I believe so. What do you suppose they are all thinking?”
“They are likely asking one another if they think we shall dance this evening.”
“And will we?”
There was no mistaking the excitement in her tone. Cassian wanted to ignore it, to believe that she did not like the prospect, for he did not want her to feel that way about him, but it was there.
And, despite his better judgment, he did not want to disappoint her.
“That is the proper thing to do, I suppose.”
“Oh my, I have not danced in so long. What if I stumble?”
“Do try not to. But if you do, I will catch you. It is as simple as that.”
“What is it?” his mother asked suddenly, appearing beside them. “Are you all right, dear?”
“Yes, Mother,” he replied. “I was only—”
“Not you. I was asking her.”
Cassian exchanged a brief look with his wife, who seemed just as surprised by the term of endearment.
“Yes, thank you,” she replied. “I was merely saying that it has been a while since I attended an event like this.”
“I feel the very same. There are some new faces here, but those I recognize have hardly changed. It has been nice to talk to them, and they have all asked me if the two of you plan to dance tonight.”
“We do.” Cassian nodded. “And I do believe that the music will start soon.”
Thankfully, he was right.
As the first notes began, he swiftly led Adelaide to the dance floor, and they took their position. He could feel that they were being watched more than before, but his wife was not looking at anyone else. Instead, her eyes were locked on his, unmoving.
Her gloved hand felt exquisite in his, and as the dance started, he wondered just what she was so concerned about.
“You have formed a bond with my mother, then,” he said quietly as they moved.
“It would seem so, though I do not know precisely what I did. One moment, she wanted to get rid of me; the next… Perhaps it is her age?”
“It is not,” he replied, shaking his head slowly. “She is too young for such an affliction. You see, she hates me, and she is under the impression that it is for a very good reason.”
“Oh? And what might that reason be?”
“I do not know.”
It was a lie. Cassian knew precisely why his mother loathed him so much, and there was nothing he could do about it. He had hoped that she would not extend her hate to whoever he took as a wife, and he was pleased that she had come to like Adelaide. But he felt the sting of rejection all the same.
“You know,” he continued, “I did not plan to take a wife for a long time. I was hoping that she would have passed away by then.”
Adelaide gasped.
He could hardly blame her. It was a terrible thing to say, but it was the truth.
“She may not like you, but she is your mother all the same.”
“Which is exactly why I continue to house her. And it is not that she does not like me; it is that she detests me. There is no changing that. But I suppose if she likes you now, there is no harm in her remaining.”
“Well, she likes me today. That could well change by the next morning. She seems to change her mind about me rather often.”
He twirled her, earning looks of appreciation from the onlookers.
“Be that as it may, she has at least behaved in an acceptable manner. If she ever hurts you, though, I will send her away. I can assure you of that.”
Cassian knew that she did not like to hear it.
It was not appropriate to discuss having his ailing mother removed from their home during a ball, but that was something he was more than happy to do if she was going to cause trouble for them.
He could not allow it, not when Adelaide had done nothing to warrant the hatred he had been subjected to.
“It would be good for the two of you to discuss it all. At least you would know why she dislikes you.”
“I have asked many times. She simply tells me that I know what I did, and it never goes any further.”
That was a half-truth. In the beginning, his mother had delighted in telling him just what he had done to earn her scorn, but soon she tired of it and only told him that he knew. Over time, he had learned to accept it.
“I rather like a waltz,” Adelaide noted after a moment. “It is slower, easier to manage than a quadrille.”
“All the better for conversation.”
“Precisely.”
“And do you like talking to me?”
“Of course! You may not like to hear it, but you are not the villain you think you are.”
“Who is to say?”
“Your wife,” she reminded him, tapping her ring finger against his shoulder. “I do not mean to be brazen, but it is entirely possible for you to be a good man who is simply not liked by all. That is rather common, actually.”
The music came to an end. She curtseyed, while he bowed, and then they stepped off the dance floor.
Cassian thought about whether he could ever be a good man. He had done something so vile that he was convinced he would never be able to escape it, but his wife did not know that.
Adelaide saw a man who was stern, rough around the edges, but she had convinced herself that there was a soft side to him that he had hidden for years.
Cassian did not want to think about that side of him, the one that caused trouble. It was easier to be a shell, to not have to concern himself with anyone else. That way, it would not hurt as much when he was left alone once more.
And frankly, it was beginning to grate on him that she was so insistent on cracking his facade. He did not want to be left exposed and at risk of her ruining him all over again. It had taken him years to leave his home again, and the moment he had, he had been left with no choice but to marry her.
While he had accepted that, it did not mean that he was content for her to waltz in and change everything. He liked the way things were well enough.
Which was why he had lied to her about so many things.
“You seem troubled,” his mother noted when Adelaide left to speak with some other ladies.
“I am anything but. That dance was most pleasant.”
“Indeed. You have found a good wife, Cassian.”
“I am inclined to agree with you.”
“Though I must say, the circumstances under which you met leave a lot to be desired.”
His heart thudded. He had kept it all from her in the hope that she would not admonish either of them, but of course, they were surrounded by the ton, which meant they were surrounded by gossip.
“I do hope that the gentleman keeps his distance this evening. I would not like to speak with a man like him.”
“Hargrave?” he asked. “I do not see why he would be invited tonight.”
“Well, he was. I saw him moments ago.”
Immediately, Cassian glanced around the room in search of Adelaide. He wanted to be certain that she was safe. He found her surrounded by other young ladies as they admired her ring and spoke with one another.
Assured by that, he searched the room for Hargrave and found him lingering by the refreshments table.
He had half a mind to storm over and demand to know why he was there, but of course, it was perfectly acceptable. Hargrave had been invited like everyone else, which meant that he was allowed to be there, whether Cassian liked it or not.
“Did you speak with him, Mother?”
“Indeed,” his mother replied, her voice deceptively soft. “He told me the true circumstances of your marriage. Truly, Cassian, I thought better of you. Not only did you harm an innocent man, but you also lied to me about it.”
“I did not lie, I—we will discuss this at home. Now is not the time.”
“No, it is not.”
Sometimes, he was grateful that his mother insisted on observing etiquette.
Content that she would not cause a scene, he looked for his wife again, deciding that she would not leave his sight for the rest of the event.
It was too great a risk to have her in Hargrave’s vicinity, for the man could easily damage their reputation.
Not only that, but he also did not want the bastard near her.
The circumstances of their marriage did not matter. She was his wife. She was his, and no one would change that. He would not let her be treated the way that man had done before, so he would do everything to prevent it.
When he found her, she was standing in front of none other than Hargrave. Her hands were clasped and lowered, her shoulders hunched. She was almost cowering, and Hargrave was grinning as though he was proud of that.
Rage flooded Cassian in that moment, and he stormed over.
Halfway there, it occurred to him that he could not cause trouble. Their situation was precarious, and he could not allow the night to be ruined, but he did not know what else to do besides pulling his wife away.
He reached them, and he noticed at once how Adelaide straightened at his presence.
“Why are you here?” he gritted out.
“Why, I was invited, of course,” Hargrave responded, blinking incredulously. “Do you know of any reason why I should not be here?”
“Do not play coy. You should not be anywhere near my wife, nor any other lady for that matter, given that you do not know how to conduct yourself.”
“Yes, well, you would know a thing or two about impropriety, Your Grace. Now, I do not wish to have any scuffles this evening, so I would prefer it if you kept your tone measured.”
“Or would you rather not engage, for you know what happened to you the last time you acted this way?”
At that point, people had turned and begun to stare.
Cassian was aware that he was drawing attention to himself and that the best thing to do was to stop, take Adelaide, and be on their way. But he could not bring himself to do so.
He hated the man, even more so when he was forced to look at his smarmy grin and wide eyes, as though he was both enjoying the spectacle and pretending to be utterly bewildered by it.
“I do hope that was not a threat,” Hargrave drawled. “The ton would be most disappointed to learn that the Dragon Duke has not changed his ways.”
At that, Cassian took a step forward, but then he felt pressure on his sleeve. It was Adelaide, who had taken his arm and was now looking at him hesitantly.
“My husband would never make a threat,” she said steadily. “I shall thank you for not accusing him of such a thing. Should it be a crime to protect one’s wife, then I would hope every husband here would be taken away. Have the evening you are deserving of.”
With that, they walked away.
Cassian saw her cheeks flush, but her words were precisely what he had wanted to hear. She knew that he was trying and that he was being good to her in his own way, even if he could never truly love her, and that was all he could hope for.
They returned to his mother, who was looking at them with narrowed eyes.
“Watch your tone,” she warned him. “You know as well as I do that—”
“I thought you wanted to discuss this at home,” he cut in.
“And we will, believe me.”
Cassian resented the way she spoke to him, as though he were still a schoolboy. He was supposed to be the one with the power, and his mother knew that, but she had never accepted it. She had to be in charge, and she would never let that change. Adelaide, at least, accepted who he was.
“On that note,” Adelaide interjected, “perhaps it is time for the three of us to leave? We have shown our faces, and I think it is best that we leave before any further trouble is caused.”
“We do not need to leave because of Hargrave.”
“It is not because of Hargrave. It is because of us.”
Cassian did not question her further, and they left for the carriage after saying their goodbyes to the hosts.
As they climbed inside, Cassian wondered why his wife chose to sit as far away from him as possible, but only for a moment. After that, he asked himself what the others would think of him protecting his wife the way he had.
It was nothing bold or heroic, but it was proof that they were a united front. It was a good thing that he had done; he was certain of it.
But as they stood in the foyer at Ashford Hall, his mother having left immediately for her room, he noticed that Adelaide was glaring at him.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.